What Do You Do With Family Members Who Have No Intention Of Listening To You?

[Milehighdjguy]

I'm Bipolar 2. My Teenage Daughter is Bipolar NOS. My Wife has anger issues. I'm critisized, talked to like a dog, and ignored. My Daughter attends a cyber school after being homeschooled all her life. She has failed 3 of her classes and is a notch away from failing a 4th. She does not care and has no intention of caring. She ran away from home on Valentines day and I found her at a McDonald's. I knew she would be there because she has no friends locally and can't do without wifi. I  had to send the police after her. I think for about 5 min she cared, then she went back to not caring.

Finally, I am handicapped. Our townhouse has been in foreclosure for 2 years and they have to restart the forclosure again in May. My wife insists on moving back into the townhouse until they sell it. We are moving in April. She intends to save money over it. Problem is, we let the house go because it was not suitable for handicapped people. I became handicapped after we bought the house. When we move back into the house my powerchair will have to sit in the house until we move again because there is no way to install a ramp and there are no wheel chair accessable sidewalks anyway. I will have zero mobility on my own, and 75% of the time when I ask to be taken somewhere I get put off or told I don't need to go. I get cabin fever so bad it makes me crazy...I mean crazy for real, not figuratively. Being locked up in a house with 2 people who have no respect for me is going to send me up to a 9.5 on the suicidal thought scale.

In addition to the mobility issues, I'm the homeschool learning coach and homemaker. My wife makes all the money and I get a small monthly benefit from disability. When we move we are also moving into a house with a broken dishwasher. I can't stand long enough to wash dishes by hand proplerly, and my hands are torn up and bleeding from having to wash them many times a day as it is. If I could afford it, I'd leave. But I come with baggage and a ton of medical equipment. I'd look funny going to a shelter dragging half a hospital behind me.

Many Bipolar people think nobody cares...Only I KNOW nobdy here cares. I've been told so repeatedly.

My question? Are there such things as miracles? I need one.    

[Carcarlita]

This really made me upset. My mother is handicapped so I understand the importance of having your independence. You should be able to leave the house whenever you would like. No one should be keeping you from your life because they don't feel like helping you. There also shouldn't be the need for saving money at your mobilities expense. You and your wife should be discussing compromises to you situation. Do do get a say even if you are not working. Also with the dishes you don't have to do things that are hurting you. Plus, it will only make you more resentful towards everyone in your household and your situation. If your responsible for doing the dishes it needs to be fixed, otherwise it needs to be someone else's duty. Stand up and advocate for your well being. You shouldn't have to suffer because of your disability. You can do everything anyone else can, maybe in a different way. I would suggest therapy between you and your wife because it seems like she holds some sort of resentment about helping you, when she should be more supportive. I'm not saying that everything your feeling is her fault. It isn't. But this unacceptable behavior towards your handicap is very upsetting to me. And it just makes it more difficult for you to have personal time for yourself to help you heal and recover from your depression.

[Milehighdjguy]

Being bipolar 2 I'd most likely never attempt suicide. I sometimes think about it intensely. Usually when things are confounded and hopeless. It's not like revenge, or even a thing of pity. I'm just mentally exhausted and just want out. I do what I need to do and remind myself that this will pass and I will feel differently when it does.  But, I wonder what would happen if I was pushed repeatedly over a long period of time? It seems that my lovely wife is testing the limitations of my medication.

I remind myself of my teen years. How hard it was.  How I would hide in my room because of my father and his cut and dried military background. Back in the 70's they didn't know much about my condition, and I didn't even know I had one. There is a long history of mental illness in my family. I'm the first one to be diagnosed properly besides my brother who is schitsophrenic. I can relate to what my daughter is going through. It truly is the blind leading the blind. Although she is the first in our line to have the insane amount of help and attention she's getting and she refuses to cooperate.  I don't expect bounding improvements, I just want her to try.  She's rather good at manipulating people, including her therapist. I don't get it.

I don't know what love is anymore. Oh, I know WHAT it is, I just don't feel it anymore. That does not mean I don't care. I think I have lost the ability to feel love, romantic or otherwise. Certainly I would miss those I care about, but there is a big empty hole where the feeling of love should be. It's damn scary and I don't understand. That's something I need to discuss at my drug eval tomorrow.

I'm more rational today. Not that any of this crap seems to be getting better, I'm just back at square one of my tolerance scale until the next time my family pushes me past my limits. We are truly dysfunctional here.

[Bubulous]

The first thing you have to realize is that you have absolutely no control over your daughter.  She is starting her own journey and she is going to figure out a way to start it no matter what you try to control.  I am not saying that it was ok to run away but id she is that serious about living her life then the only thing you can do is try to understand and support her.  She may let you in if you do this.  Being in her support system is going to be more beneficial than pushing her away by making her think you disagree with everything she does.  Let her know that her behavior is dangerous and use the knowledge that you have gained over your life to let her know that there is another way to do this.   Her behavior may seem normal too her where it seems so un-normal to you.  The main point is that you have to listen to her (really listen to her).  Be patient and supportive.
If you are considering killing yourself you have to realize that you can make any choice you want to in this life.  If you are considering checking out than stand up and say I am willing to make some changes.  You can change the direction in your life by making one decision towards your happiness.  Think about what that could be.  Will to live can make you do some things that you may consider selfish but there is a time for being selfish and that time is now.  I am neither right nor wrong.  I just know what is keeping me alive.  The point is life can bring you up or down.  When you get knocked down, you have to grab the hand of a friend to help you back up.  Reach up and wait to see who that person is...if it is a person at all.
If you think you KNOW that nobody cares you are wrong.  You think that nobody cares.  We know nothing and presuming to know creates a world where the few people you come in contact with symbolizes what the entire world thinks.  There is a friend out there.  You just haven't them yet.  There are millions of people in this country and even if there is just one person out there that would appreciate your friendship then you are not allowed to use the sentence: NOBODY cares.  Think about how distorted that thought is.  There are times in your life that you will meet temporary friends and I guarantee that you have met those people before and if you give life a chance you meet them again.  Nothing is forever.  Love is fleeting.  If you only have a few people in your life where they have many you are going to find yourself lonely.
It is nobody's fault that you feel like this; not yours, not theirs  It may be a distorted way of thinking but it is a natural emotion.  Please don't give up.  I am almost alone right now but I know that there are people out there that care about me.  They just have to fight to keep themselves busy and give all of there friends a little time a piece so that they do not find themselves lonely.  There have been times that your wife and your daughter were lonely and there have been other times in your life where you have been lonely.  
I am going to end this long response now with this:
There is a time for being lonely.  You have so many years in this life.  No one can go through it without experiencing the full arsenal of emotions thay we can feel.  If you never fear you can never love.  If you never feel lonely and unwanted you can never feel wanted...and so on.  We live in a never ending series of cycles.  Fear and love, control and faith, powerless and powerful, war and peace...
The main one is faith and control.  You have no control over anything in this life.  Try to find faith and give up control.  You don't have to be religious but you have to put your load on someone or something else which has a better capacity to handle it.  If this sounds like nonsense that is fine.  I understand cycles of life, if you think about it, it will make sense, and if you are waiting for a miracle, you may never get it.  Take what you need from this, good luck.

Larry