have i got bipolar II/cyclothymia

[AllyCat13]

Hi....im 27yr old female, recently wondering whether i have either cyclothymia or bipolar II disorder (unfortunatly im a med student and just done my psychiatric course so also wondering if there is an element of hypochondria!!). Basically, when i was 17/18 i had a major depressive episode that lasted over a year that I never seeked help for, when I was 24 my dad died in a car crash and my doctor put me on anti-depressants (citalopram then sertraline) even thou at the time I didnt feel that I was depressed, in fact despite his death I actually felt quite good mood wise.....and this has been consistent throughout the last few years that my mood doesn't always really fit with what is happening in my life at the time. Ive have also had periods when I have been extremely happy/hyper and wired when my self-esteem and confidence have been through the roof, also im quite shy normally but during these times feel myself alot more comfortable talking to people and being in social situations even to the point that i actually become quite loud. These periods are quite hard to define timewise etc retrospectively. Also I have had frequent bouts of mild to moderate depression where i can get angry/tearful for no reason at the extreme but usually just have low mood, want to sleep all the time, feel tired all the time and eat lots and have no motivation. The most recent episode i have had seems to me to be classic textbook hypomania - it lasted almost 2 weeks, i was in elated almost euphoric really good mood for no specific reason, had much more energy than usual, i was really chatty at uni, much more than usual, much more confident, my self esteem was really high, hardly ate anything for that time period, i found i couldnt concentrate on work at uni and instead would just go off looking at internet sites or just going and doing something else rather than working. Also....my boyf was away in miami and just found speaking to him etc just really irritating and totally wanted to cut him out of my life, was thinking of leaving him...when this is the total opposite of what i actually want!! I did sleep 8-9 hours a night but this was due to me taking my mum's temazepam to get off to sleep as was not tired at all during this time. I definately felt 'wired' and 'hyper' and at one point was really agitated waiting to do a presentation at uni and was practically running round the room i felt so hyper!!  Then last thursday i woke up and all that energy etc was gone and i felt quite drained and tired, seems to have steadily got worse and i have got increasingly tired and my mood has got increasingly low until today when i really felt pretty miserable earlier on. I have started a mood diary and am wondering about going to my GP but unsure how to even start the conversation "errrrr i think i have bipolar?" lol
Also because I have studied psychiatry its hard for me to do any online tests etc as i know what answers they are looking for etc its hard to take them with no bias.......just anyones opinions or if they have similar experience would be grateful to hear.....ally

[rogelio63]

It's good that you're aware of the possibility of diagnosing yourself, especially when you are in med school. When I went through med school and the advanced patho classes, myself and many of my classmates thought we had everything we talked about,,,same in our psych rotations.
That doesn't mean that you can't recognize the true symptoms of what you have.
It's good to get two or three opinions and not tell them what the other doc said.
This is exactly what I went through although not when I was in medical school. After two psychiatrists and two psychologists said the same thing (BP I ) I started listening but I still question my diagnosis. I think everyone does.

[sillywilly525]

Hi there,

yip sounds pretty much like my experience I am 48 and I have only recently been diagnosed. My CV reads like a collection of short stories! Either having been sacked or just plain walking into the sunset. I spent lots of time in relationships I should never have been in, and lived an alcohol and weed dazed existence. Blew lots of cash inappropriately...oh and I had a wee go at the shoplifting. I always knew there was something wrong with me but I tried to mend it with self help books gym frenzies and latterly CBT . I was quite happy to see a psychologist but I was not comfortable about going to see a psychiatrist however I'm really glad I did because for the first time in my adult life I feel hopeful that I will be able to settle into a happy consistent way of life. Please don't wait until your my age before getting the advice you need. I got through university easily enough but once you hit the work place you have to be a team player and if you are brilliant performer and highly sociable one week and withdrawn the next it doesn't make for good relationships with your colleagues , or your employer , this is the area in my life where I was most vulnerable. Friends and family love you the way you are , to them its just you being you , but in the work place its not quite so forgiving , and this is why I would advise you to seek advice because its such a massive part of your life. If it turns out that you get a clinical diagnosis between you and the doc you'll get the appropriate meds that suit you which means you can look forward to a full life instead of having two crazy ones or half of one. My GP on realising my reluctance to take meds put it quite simply , " you either take the meds or continue to self medicate on alcohol in which case you have two big issues to contend with " wise words if you ask me ?    

    

[sillywilly525]

Hi there,

yip sounds pretty much like my experience I am 48 and I have only recently been diagnosed. My CV reads like a collection of short stories! Either having been sacked or just plain walking into the sunset. I spent lots of time in relationships I should never have been in, and lived an alcohol and weed dazed existence. Blew lots of cash inappropriately...oh and I had a wee go at the shoplifting. I always knew there was something wrong with me but I tried to mend it with self help books gym frenzies and latterly CBT . I was quite happy to see a psychologist but I was not comfortable about going to see a psychiatrist however I'm really glad I did because for the first time in my adult life I feel hopeful that I will be able to settle into a happy consistent way of life. Please don't wait until your my age before getting the advice you need. I got through university easily enough but once you hit the work place you have to be a team player and if you are brilliant performer and highly sociable one week and withdrawn the next it doesn't make for good relationships with your colleagues , or your employer , this is the area in my life where I was most vulnerable. Friends and family love you the way you are , to them its just you being you , but in the work place its not quite so forgiving , and this is why I would advise you to seek advice because its such a massive part of your life. If it turns out that you get a clinical diagnosis between you and the doc you'll get the appropriate meds that suit you which means you can look forward to a full life instead of having two crazy ones or half of one. My GP on realising my reluctance to take meds put it quite simply , " you either take the meds or continue to self medicate on alcohol in which case you have two big issues to contend with " wise words if you ask me ?    

    

[ProdigalGirl]

I think you know the answer hon. You are a smart woman and it almost seemed as if you were writing an H&P on a patient. I am now coming to grips that I have the recent diagnosis of cyclothymia. I am a medical professional and it is hard for us especially b/c we are the ones taking care of the patients, not visa versa. I self medicate,, have had reckless behavior with fights while driving etc. Go talk to a doctor. Humble yourself and get the care you need. I am missing the hypomanic part of this diagnosis more than you can imagine as I have been fatigued, sleep more, but my appetite has not increased. Everyone is different. You have to weigh the benefits in this war with our brains. It is not our fault. We did not ask to be this way. I have thrown away so many people over the last 15 years that it makes me sick to even think about it. I am now reconnecting with old friends and want my life back. My old friends are elated that I am back in their life too. Do the right thing as seek professional help. Afterall,,, medical training aside we are all human. Keep posting and pm me if you need to talk or have any questions. My diagnosis just came in the last 2 months so I am coming to grips with this myself. Best of luck hon.


ProdigalGirl

[ILADVOCATE]

It does sound like bipolar from what you describe but only a psychiatrist could make a diagnosis and determine what kind. We have some good websites linked up such as "Depression Central" (for all mood disorders). The best thing to do is speak to a psychiatrist and describe what's wrong and see how they can help you.

[AllyCat13]

oh also have no family history of bipolar but both parents have had moderate depression and younger sister had severe unipolar depression (attempted suicide), also my grandad tried to commit suicide when he was younger but thats all i know, oh and i engage in pretty reckless behaviours all the time.....excessive spending (am £25,000 in debt from it), excessive alcohol, drug taking- abuse prescription drugs, otc drugs and of course illegal drugs (not always all at the same time....haha!!)