Could My Son Be Bipolar?

[MySonIs3]

My son is 3 and 1/2 and I am VERY concerned about some of his behaviors. He is a very intelligent, active and helpful child. He has his moments, but I'm sure every 3 year old does. My biggest concern is some of the things he says and does, usually when he is not getting his way or going to time out for something.

Just today (and this is only one example) while we were leaving the park, he didn't want to get into his carseat. He had a stick in his hand and proceded to tell his step-dad that he was going to cut his eyes out with it. Another time when he was told to go to bed, he didn't want to and wanted a snack instead, he pulled a fork out of the silverware drawer and told me he was going to cut the baby out of my tummy. There are several more examples of this, as it has been happening more and more lately.

I've tried to put him in to time out for this behavior, only to have him kick and scream and throw things. He's even started to bang his head against the wall when he doesn't want to go to time out. I've tried to talk to him about these comments, asking where he's heard this, and he says he hadn't heard it anywhere. I've asked him if he knows what it means, only to be told no. After expressing to him that this is just unacceptable behavior, he says he won't do it again... but its happening more and more frequently.

I honestly don't know if this is something he could be picking up from daycare, if there is something I am doing terribly wrong or if I should really seek out some help for him. His biological father is also bi-polar and would at times get violent with me as well as say some pretty violent things not only toward me but other people as well. Part of me wonders if he could remember some of the things we were subjected to, even though he was only 12 months old at the time.

I am really at a loss right now as to how I should deal with this. Could a 3 year old really be bipolar? Could there be other things going on that I'm missing? HELP!

[netta46]

You didn't mention a family history of bipolar. Regardless behaviours can also be learned. Just because there is a history of the illness doesn't necessarily mean he will have it too. I am from a long line of mentally ill people and yet my son, who is a teeneager now is absolutely fine.

There is no harm in taking your little one to see a child psychologist though. Also you boy may say he is really looking forward to having a brother or sister and yet still feel angry/insecure.

I hope everything turns out well for you all. Look after yourself too.

[MySonIs3]

Let me clear a few things up:

I don't necessarily want to 'label' my child as bipolar, I am just curious if this could be a possibility seeming he has quite the family history with it. Not only is my ex bipolar, but so is my brother, and my father was as well.

I don't want to medicate my child. I would like to learn new ways and techniques to better deal with his outbursts. I want to learn how to help him learn how deal with his anger in a more constructive way.

I have family telling me that by bringing him to a child psychologist would be like giving up on him, admitting I don't know how to parent him. For that, I am beginning to resent the people who have said that.

As far as expecting another baby, my son has been involved in everything that has to do with the new addition. We've given him books on what to expect, on what it was like when he was in my 'tummy'. He's been to all but one doctor appointment with me, he has been way excited to be a big brother. He even enjoys going to the baby section in stores to see what he can buy as a present for his new baby brother or sister.

I appreciate all of your comments in regards to this. I really think at this point a psychologist would be the way to go. My thougts are, if anything, maybe he or she can help me get to the bottom of this behavior and help me manage it better. The best possible outcome, in my opinion, is they will tell me this behavior is normal (which I really don't think so). I just hope my decision in this does not alienate those family members who think that I am giving up on my son. I just know I need to do what I feel is right.

[netta46]

Hello

I would be very reticent in labelling a child as young as three with such a serious mental illness as bipolar. Children of that age often have tantrums, it's a normal part of growing up. Also if you are expecting another child it could well be that he feels jealous and worried about his place in the family. It might help to discuss the baby with him and let him know he is still special etc.

[adel_ezz]

it's too early i suppose to judge whether he is bipolar or not, and it's unfair to label him so at this very early age. I would keep an eye on him long enough then consult a psychologist, but never a pdoc now because it isn't good to put him on meds at his age. Perhaps he watches TV because you see all sort of odd things there, things which children like to imitate. Violence exists in societies whether western or eastern and children witness this so it reflects on them automatically, because life is getting stressful for adults and equally for kids

[Xila31]

It is hard to say what a baby remembers or not. But, if you were in an abusive home during his development it could have affected him in some way. Children are very in tune with emotions. I'm guessing he doesn't see his father any more? Do check into everyone who is caring for him at any time during his day. He has to be getting these things from somewhere.

I hope you can find answers, it sounds like he is really having a tough time.

[ILADVOCATE]

If he experienced any abuse directed at him that could easily cause this. Also find out what the conditions are at daycare. To me this more sounds like the traumatic after affects of experiencing abuse. I would suggest that you take him to a child psychologist and see what they think is best for him.