I had reactions like make me feel dizzy, like I was going to pass out/faint, vision problems = abilify, seroquel. Extreme body aches = geodon. Extreme body aches, akatishia, neausia = Latuda. Slightly elevated blood sugar, and as the nurse said the highest prolactin level she has ever seen = risperdal. Complete zombie = Invega. Flatline emotions, couldn't get sad, or happy, no opionon or care about anything = Zoloft. Had no effect at lowest dose, so raised dose falling asleep at work = Paxil. Made my thighs tingle, and numb, excessive vagina secretions (like when aroused) = Celexa. They told me to take it in the morning because it would give me energy so I did and two hours later I was falling asleep, so had to take at night, gave me a headache the entire time I was on it = Lexapro. Had a headache the entire time I was on it = Welbutrin. Made me fall asleep, then I would wake up super grumpy and yell at everyone = Vistaril. I was on the combo of depakote and effexor so not sure which one it was, but I was only awake 4-6 hours a day and slept the rest of the time. Did not control my symptoms when raised from 200mg to 300mg gave me migraine headaches = Lamictal. I can take 150mg if I take more gives me headaches = Trazodone. Had no effect therapeutic, nor side effect even when dose was raised = buspar. At least 85% of these side effects I had at the lowest doses, and sometimes but not always I would try these medications for 1 + months and the side effects never went away. Taking these medications has never controlled my symptoms, and really has just made me more sick instead of better. I don't normally drink alcohol anyways maybe once every 6 months for the last 3 years on average, and part of the reason why is that it just makes me feel sick, and has given me this effect even when I was on no medication. I don't always take pain medication, I have back problems, and actually have had most of these side effects from the psychotropic medications when I was on no pain medication. I don't get that euphoric and when I do it is really not that great, and totally unrealistic anyways. I do find that they do hinder my creativity but oh well. I really wish these medications did work for me, because I really don't want that ECT crap it takes out huge chunks of memory. I have also gotten sick from taking birth controll. I am tired of trying pills with hopes of them making me better, and only ending up with bad results.
You may be unable to metabolize drugs efficiently. Since women are often not included in clinical trials determining dosage, even the "normal" dose can be too large for even the average woman. A recent example is the recommendation for the standard Ambien dosage to now be 5 mg for women and 10 mg for men (when it used to be 10 mg for everyone). If you're particularly thin, this could also play a role in what the appropriate dose is for you. A mg/kg approach, the way they determine medications in pediatric patients, might help if this is the case.
Or you could have inefficient enzymes. Maybe you should get your liver checked? That's what does the filtering in the majority of medications (and alcohol). Have you tried lithium? I think it's controlled by the kidneys, so if it is a liver enzyme issue, that one might work for you. You could retry the antipsychotics at even lower doses if they're in a form that's splittable, or maybe try one of the anticonvulsants approved in children, since those will come in smaller forms. Since you can tolerate Lamictal fairly well, using it plus something else at a really low dose might be the thing that works. And antidepressants, especially SSRIs, are generally a no-no for bipolar, especially if you don't have a mood stabilizer on board already. You should definitely talk to your doctor about this, and bring up your concerns about metabolism.
It is very common to have side effect in the beginning when you start a new medicine. That is one of the reasons thay start you out on a low dose although they know it will take a little while to reach a therapeutic level. I will say that I have taken a lot of different combinations of meds but your experience does seem a little odd. I am surprised that you had so many horrible side effects.
I do know that if you are currently taking pain medicine it will definitely effect the therapeutic effect of many (perhaps most) bipolar meds. Also alcohol is one of the worst things you can consume while taking these meds so if you have to drink don't drink too much in any given day and try not to drink very often.
If most of your problems with the meds are that they make you feel less intelligent or they make you feel "not like yourself" then don't be afraid of the medicines. At first I thought that mine took away my creativity and my personality. In a sense that is what they are supposed to do. No matter the meds you take you are going to feel different...that is there job. We are not able to control our moods cognitively. At first the meds can make you feel the way you describe but please give the meds you are on know a chance.
No matter what I say most of us go on and off our meds because when we do a lot of times we get a euphoric feeling but the high is not worth the low. It took me a long time to accept my lack of euphoria. Also when you get the cycles under control you may be like me and find that there are also some other disorders or problems that present themselves like ADD and OCD. These are things that although you can take medicine for, you have to learn how to control them.
This is just general information based on what I have read in your post. everyone is different but I hope you got something from it. Let us know how the medicines are working. This will get better but unfortunately it takes a while. You can't give up because in my experience this disorder can worsen over time. Don't learn the hard way like I did. You are young and you have a better chance of getting stable than I did and I am not even that stable right now.
I am only on gabapentin now, and I think it is making me feel stupid. I am having memory problems, trouble thinking, and concentrating, I am going to give it a bit longer as I have not been on it very long ( 2 weeks 3 days), but I don't think this one is going to work out either......sigh.....