my accomplishment I take for granted. like I dont care. why?

[stabilitynotachance]

Diagnosed with bipolar 2, along with depression.

[Midijane]

Good morning, please know I was just teasing about your profile... trying to make you smile. It's completely fine. No worries :)

Keep posting your thoughts and feelings. It's always nice to connect with others who understand.

Hope you have bright day.

M

[stabilitynotachance]

First I want to said I apologize for not having  my profile correct.
And what you expressed and wrote, is very much at time how I feel. And also my favorite place is been by my self sleeping it off, seraquel does the job for raging thought, and relaxing your mind, and body. Only one person knows how others feel when them self are in the same boat.
Thank you again. Stabilitynotachance

[Midijane]

Wow, once posted it looks like I had quite a bit to say. Hope I wasn't rambling :)

M

[Midijane]

Well hi there,

I'm BP2, depression and anxiety myself. I'm glad you found this forum for support, it really helps. I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap and I think I know how you feel. For me it feels like my mind is my worst enemy sometimes and horrible negative thoughts get stuck on a loop that just keeps playing over and over in my head. That's the worst part for me anyway, not sure if you feel like that sometimes too.

Once I finally got on the right combo of meds I was eventually able to recognize this cycle and stop it in its tracks. I take Lamictal and Effexor now (recently gave up Abilify due to cost) and have Clonopin for my ruminating thoughts and anxiety. I don't take the Clonopin often unless it's winter and I'm proud of myself for finally recognizing a crap symptom and being able to manage it. In the past when I let it go, it would spiral down a slippery slope and land me in bed for weeks.

I think I read another post of yours that said you are currently working on meds right now with your doc. I hope you find relief quickly. Just know that sometimes, not always, the meds we find to help in the beginning may tend to lose effectiveness after awhile. I had that happen with 2 meds out of about a dozen. The other meds I tried weren't helpful right off the bat. Now I finally have the right med cocktail that works for me and you will to.

Personally I say don't sweat the depression. Take it for what it is. It ***** and takes us to depths we never thought possible. And with that bipolar depression comes a complete drainage of our energy leaving us feeling horrible and unable to do the things we know we should do to help ourselves feel better. Double whammy. This probably sounds silly but I'm at the point that when I recognize I'm sliding downhill into full blown depression, I kind of look forward to holing up for awhile. I give myself permission to ignore the mail, not talk to people, stop house chores, and watch TV or sleep as much as I want. I just stock up on saltine crackers and head to my favorite vacation destination... my bed. Yeah it's probably not healthy or even smart to deal with my depression that way but it does make me feel better by not feeling guilty when I already feel so bad.

Not sure if you have this to, but I went through a period for almost 4 years when I would start crying every time I was stressed or alone. Yes it was honestly 4 years and stuff like showers or driving in my car were guaranteed breakdowns. That was height of my uncontrolled depression on top of mood swings with spending sprees, aggression, rage, and I forget what else. Thank God that was awhile ago. I'm far from having this figured out and a hot mess often. But I can tell when I'm starting to circle the drain. Just can't tell yet when I'm manic and getting myself into trouble for all the manic consequences. (Sigh) I just want mental peace. I hope you find some soon.

(((Hugs))),

M

[Crystal413]

You ask why? You could feel that way with having depression. When we are depressed it's hard to see good in much of anything. Another reason could be because your going thru a bp episode. I gather from your screen name that you don't think it's possible to have stability in your life. There are many with BP who do. Try not to be negative and replace in with some positive thoughts. You have to work on it, it won't just come. I hope your in Therapy because I believe that will help along with the right med or med combo.