rape

[25andhurt]

hi i wrote t my mums frnd raping me a few . well last nite he did it again and 2day i went to the police and now he is in the cells on a rape charge. i would just like to thank tho's who helped me get to this stage!x the only bad thing is that my boyfriend has dumped me cuz i was raped! its killing me ive been crying since it happend and him dumpin me as made it worse n its made me feel so guilty to him cuz i feel that its my fault and he blames me 2! i dnt no what to do im lost

[kathy434]

Thank you God that this "boyfriend" is out of your life.  He is no person you need in your life period, much less right now.  Right now it may not feel like it, but you are truly better off with him.
What happened to you was no more your fault than if you were held up by a bank robber.  Because you happened to be present when this person decided to attack you was totally out of your control.  He is to blame for everything he did to you, and for how it has affected you since.  You are not one bit less of the beautiful person than you were before he attacked you.  You are not dirty now or should ever feel ashamed for the thoughts and behavior of your attacker.  He is a low-life.  He cares nothing about what he does to other people, only that he gets what he wants, when he wants it.  It had nothing to do with you.  It had everything to do with his perverted thinking and unconscionable behavior against you.  You are very likely not his only victim.  He has likely done this before to other girls and women.  He needs to live in jail, outside of society.  He does not live by rules set by God, or by society.
It is not your fault.  He is that robber who chose to harm you.  He is a nothing.  I hope you are able to go through the process of taking legal action against him to get him put away.  This will help to make you feel stronger, more in control again, and to know you got this low life off the streets.
I also greatly encourage you to get counseling right away.  To wait will only make your thoughts and emotions harder to deal with.  Take care of this now.  Then you can move on in life and continue to hold your head high with self respect and dignity.  Don't let this man rob you of your mental health too.  Don't give him that satisfaction.

[innerchild09]

He is the one who's at fault here. Not you. You did what you had to do and now you can be safe but you also need help with your emotional feelings. That is part of the journey. Don't give up. I'm glad you took the steps to help yourself but remember there are steps in your emotions that need taken too. So make sure you talk to your shrink and get help.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

Well it's more like it only seems like a solution to temporary feelings.  I managed to never act out on thoughts of suicide partially by not believing in it as a solution and partly out of fear I'd survive and severely handicap myself in the process.

[25andhurt]

i promice u that i wont kill myself i am waiting for an appointment with a therepist that the police are sortin out for me!x he is on bail and not aloud to come near my town or txt or phone us!x ile keep u all informed thanx hun

[kathy434]

Are you thinking about suicide?  Do you have a plan on how you want to carry it out?  Can you talk about this with us?  Either way, you need to call your doctor, go to the hospital ER, talk to a therapist with Crisis Line, a 24-7 hotline.
Suicide is a permanent solution to  temporary feelings.  Getting help through your feelings right now is what you must do instead.  Promise me that you will call for help before doing anything to hurt yourself.
This guy has made you his victim.  As long as you have no help with this problem, you will still be his victim and you don't deserve this.  Remember this, you are not alone with this problem.  There are many women facing what you are facing and just have kept quiet about it.  Charges need to be placed against him now with the police, and a restraining order that he must stay away from you or go to jail, and he will likely go to jail anyway which is what you need to feel safe.talking to a counselor will help you get through this terrible time, and in a few days you will start feeling better and be so glad you didn't harm yourself.  Make a contract with me that you will not do anything to hurt yourself before talking to me.  Write down Crisis number and your local mental health and the hospital ER.numbers.  Then USE THEM.  You will feel better after talking to them.  Go into the hospital, if needed, to be in a safe environment until you feel better.  Kathy

[wj74]

Please call your doctor. I'm glad you went to the police.

[25andhurt]

cant stop cryin n cuttin my arms im tired of the pain ive lived thru all my life im at a crossroad and want a truck to drive over me i really give up on life cant do it anymore

[25andhurt]

thanx hun the police have set up sum help for me! the problem is i think im having a nervous break down

[ryrychristine]

that is ridiculous! your boyfriend wasnt the best of boyfriends if he honestly believes that any of this is your fault. rape is extremely hard to deal with because of the amount of personal havoc, turmoil, and guilt it inflicts. you should definitely go to counseling after such event even if you dont feel u need or want to. in the long run it will help you to get your feelings and worries out. you need help from a outsider looking in to assist you in coping!

trust me i know!
-ry