Regret over euthanizing a pet

[emerald42]

I had a 14 yr old cat that has suffered from constipation for several years. We would have to take her to the vet to stay overnight for 2 nights every year or two. Since March of this year the frequency has increased. She had overnight stays for enemas and extreme dehydration in May, July, and in September. She was constantly dehydrated despite drinking a lot. She began to urinate all over the house. She lost 1/2 her body weight and in the end she weight only 4 lbs. I was giving her subQ fluids for 3 weeks after her last hospitalization on top of the 2 medicines i was already giving her. I left her alone overnight to go to a wedding, even though she was lethargic and not eating. When I came home on Sat morning she had still not eaten or moved and was peeing outside the box (i dont think she could climb into it) and I believe she was constapiated again. She was having trouble getting on my bed and would fall sometimes. I gave her a baby suppository which released a little stool and 150 ml of fluids. Later in the night I gave her 1/2 of an adult mineral oil enema and she moved more stool but was still not eating or moving and didnt even have the strength to drink water.  She started walking crooked and seemed to not have her balance, and I wondered if the mineral oil enema did this. Once I found out at the vet she had lost another 1/2 a pound from only a week ago (she got a steriod shot a week earlier at the vet) I felt I had to let her go, she was all skin and bones.

I am so upset because she was only 14 and while that is elderly most cats live until 18-20 now. I am second guessing that I should have tried harder or tried different things. My mother was with me and was insistent that rehospitaling her for enemas and fluids would not be humane. My cat was afraid of other people and never arund other animals so we always hated leaving her there overnight. Plus, during her last stay they had to manually extract the poop which killed me to imagine.

What I hate even more is that I never knew what she suffered from. They found a calcification on her kidney and she did exhibit all the signs of kidney disease. The vet suggested cancer at a "cellular level".

The last night and morning I was with her she layed against my chest and body and slept, which was not something she typically did. I felt almost as if she was saying good bye

[Savas]

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through this.

You made the decision you thought was best; try not to second guess yourself. Just remember you did the best you could by your kitty all your life; why should your final decision have been any different?

Long term loving pet owners have good instincts about what their pets need and don't need. It sounds like you definitely fit into this category.

Again; sorry for your loss.

[April2]

"The last night and morning I was with her she layed against my chest and body and slept, which was not something she typically did. I felt almost as if she was saying good bye"

Read that again. I believe animals know when it's their time. My dog was the same way. He was only 13 but had Cushings. He went downhill fast these last few months. It got to the point where he had lost weight, stopped eating and drinking and was just laying around the last couple of days, then he had bloody diarhea. My heart was broken but I didn't want him to suffer so I took him to the vet and had him put to sleep. It was so hard because it happened so fast and I didn't have long to cuddle with him but he was so relaxed and just looked at me with his tired eyes. He normally was afraid of going to the vet but he laid quietly in the car on the way there. His passing was quick and easy. But not easy on me. I had a hard time with it, wondering if I should have run a bunch of tests on him or tried more heroic
measures to save him but I not only didn't have the money for expensive tests, I already knew he had a disease that would kill him.
You did the best you could to make sure you pet wouldn't suffer anymore. So did I. It's harder on us who are left behind. Our pets are no longer suffering. That's our job as an owner is to take the best care of them as we can and not let them suffer. I know how hard this is on you. I was in the same place 6 months ago. I pray you will find peace and comfort knowing you did do your best and your cat knows that. God bless.

[PrettyKitty1]

I am sorry for your loss. Sounds like you loved her very much, or you would not be here writing this. Please do not second guess yourself. You did what was right for that poor thing. She was not a happy pet with her condition. Yes, some cats live longer, but others, unfortunately don't...just like humans. She was ready and your act was humane and caring.
May she rest in peace now.

God Bless.

[SassyLassie]

I am so very sorry over the loss of your beloved kitty.
Do not be hard on yourself, you did what was best for her, she was probably really hurting, and you acted very responsibly.
It is so hard to loose our friends, and there is a deep void in our lives. The fact that she slept with you on your chest tells me she was saying her good-byes and wanted you to know that she loved you very much.
Rest assured that she is no longer in pain and that you did the right thing. She is peaceful now, and I like to think, with our Lord and other kitties having a wonderful time.

[opus88]

I am so sorry, thats the hardest decisions we pet owners ever have to make..we feel like we are playing God....they depend on us for so much for love,food,care and also need us to 'know' when they've just had enough....she was trying to tell you and you listened..so cry for her but know you did you're very best and she knows that too.
bless ya

[zodiacqueen]

Hi, this is the hardest decision we have to make about our fur kids!  We have to put our feelings aside, and do what's best for them.  That is exactly what you did, you acted unselfishly!!  Please, don't second-guess yourself....you made the right decision.  I can speak for everyone that has commented on here, that we would've made the same decision.

Take care, and God bless!

[HelpinUtah]

I agree with everyone else - it's such a difficult decision but it sounds like you loved (love) her very much!  And, you did so much to help her and to be honest you showed her so much love and kindness and she knew it!  Just reading your post has me sobbing - the love and feelings you express are extremely strong!   Like April said above, your last sentence:  "The last night and morning I was with her she layed against my chest and body and slept, which was not something she typically did. I felt almost as if she was saying good bye" honestly sounds like she was saying goodbye.  Our pets tell us when the time is right.  Very often we do not want to let them go for selfish reason (we love them so much we don't want to let them go).  Remember, her suffering is over and she's now on the other side running around in heaven and having a great time!  I personally believe we'll see our "furr babies" again!  It's what helps me get through the times I miss my babies we've had to put down!  

You're in my prayers and thoughts!  I hope you realize what you did was a wonderful act of love for her!  

Hugs,
Janet

[KSA01]

I went through the same thing a few years ago with my Suzy.  We were given a diagnosis of Megacolon; I said okay we can get through this.  However, the megacolon was a mis-diagnosis and after a visit to an internist we found it was something-something-sarcoma-somethingelse. My little girl had the colon cancer, a tumor was basically blocking her evacuation, and the colon was over 70% involved.   I knew it was bad and I can remember asking the doc how much time we had left.  

Sue was my pal, we rescued her when I was in the 7th grade and over the years she was the bff I came home to and who slept on my shoulder at night for 15 years. The last day was 01/20/2006, but I couldn't ask anymore from her, believe me I wanted to fight but her little body just couldn't do it.  

I hear you when you ask if you did the right thing I too wondered myself and somedays I do caught up in the "what if" game but when its torment to just pet them trying to comfort, the only thing that we have left is to let them go. Its terrible to let them go and its harder to live without them, because we lose a part of ourselves when they go.

Sue was hanging on for me because she loved me that much, but I knew that I had to let her go, her little body was wracked with pain and I saw it when she would try to stand and her back legs would try to buckle.   That day at the vets was the final gift of love I could give her, to release her from me.  I know how much it hurts to hear this right now but in time one day it won't hurt quite so much.  

  

[Jade59]

I know it's only been 5 days, but I am wondering how you are coping?  I agree with everyone and You that you made the right decision.  I do know the feeling of regret.  When our first kitty came home with one of her back legs paralyzed, she was in and out of the ER and vet for 8 days.  It was discovered she had a brain injury and was given a steroid shot which gave us much hope as on the 7th day of her illness, she seemed fine and we were overjoyed, but then we wake up on the 8th day and she is dragging her left side again so we made the very difficult decision to put her down.  I do know how you feel as it took a long time to stop second guessing myself and wondering if we had done all we could.  My heart goes out to you.    

This decision is never ever easy under any circumstance, but it sounds like your kitty had a number of issues and you did everything you could to make her better.  Your kitty was quite ill and you did the very kindest thing by letting her go.  She was such a lucky girl to have someone like you who was so devoted.  

[emerald42]

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and words. I am doing much better than I thought I would handle Snickers death She is the only pet I have ever had, and i got her when I was just 12 years old! I still occasionally do second guess it, and I supose I always will. It is abundantly clear though that I am the ONLY person in my family that thinks this way. Even though she lived with me solely in recent years she was really a "family" cat and my mother loved her dearly. One thing that really did comfort me a little was obtaining and reading her medical records. I found out she had calcification on BOTH kidney's rather than just one, which was what the vet erroneously told me. This did give me a little comfort in thinking that perhaps it was the best decision for her comfort.

I know that my cat, who was born to a feral cat and abandoned on a farm, lived a great life considering her dismal beginnings. I am glad to have this message board, I know there are lots of animal lovers out there, I just dont have many people in my life that understand my pain (especially not the men!).  

[opus88]

yes honey we do understand, we are all pet lovers here, the men also on this forum love and mourn their pets, its too bad all your family don't feel this same grief you do for Garcia, perhaps they are just better at hiding their emotions?
Everyone mourns in a different way.
Perhaps it is you who loved/raised Garcia and it was you he chose to give the most love in return, thats a precious gift when any animal picks us to love and as you say their love in so unconditional.
Its 4 years since I lost my Opus and not a day goes by I don't think of him and how many happy years he gave us....I no longer mourn him but I do miss him still. as will you....
God Bless, keep him close to your heart and don't be afraid to cry...he was your baby.

[spooky471]

I have a similar situation...except my kitty is not to the point where he is no longer enjoying life...he has chronic renal failure and has about 40% kidney function left, the problem is in the behavior is has created, my other two cats and the house i just built. He is urinating in the house and has done so for 3 months, because of the disease he drinks a ton and pees a ton...he urine is dilute so it does not stink too much but the other cats have smelled it and have started to copy him causing a major major problem. I have 2 children and in order to save our relationship with our other 2 healthy cats and save our home I have decided to put him down today. He is already skin and bones (down to 7.5 lbs) but still seems happy, but the vet has told me based on his blood levels that he will start to decline within 6 months to a year. She said if the behavior was not effecting the other two cats she would not recommend euthanizing, but since I will be facing that soon anyway she thinks it is best for my family, other 2 cats and home to do it now. I am just devastated, but I can't have my home destroyed and I do not want my other two beloved cats to get to a point where we cannot re-train them to use the litter box. They will already have to be isolated in a room with their box for a period of time to re-train...anyway that is my sob story...I am dreading 2 o'clock today...

[maaskant]

im sorry for what you are going through.  the decision to have a beloved pet put down is never easy.  remember the good times you have had with your pet and also remember that putting it off would make him suffer.  i know you say that he is in good spirits now but soon (real soon) he would start to suffer a lot.  He has had a really good life and has know the love that you and your family has given him.  another thing to remember is that when he is gone dont just focus on the people family members who will be sad but also make sure your other 2 kitties get love and attention because they will be missing their buddy as well.

[opus88]

I am so sorry to read this, I know we have to make calls sometimes that are very hard to do. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are a good kitty mommy and are doing what you have to do for your home and the sake of the other kitties involved...bless you all♥

btw...I do want to mention your carpets or anywhere thats been pee'd on will need to be thoroughly cleaned with an ENZYME  cleaning product, this is absolutely necessary to remove all traces of the scent of urine from the sensitive noses of the other kitties...cats don't just use the litter box b/c they are trained too...they mainly go by smell/scent and if they detect the smell or urine anywhere they will automatically think thats THE SPOT to use...
go to a good pet store, like petsmart they will have what you need. some work better than others. Natures Miracle, Urine Erase. Anti-Icky- Poo are a few names. be sure to give everything a good thorough cleaning with one of these or the other cats will continue to pee outside their litter boxes..

((hugs)) to you and little Spooky...♥

[Piparskeggr]

We had to make this decision for our beloved Kessie last month.  She seemed to be okay, save for the weight loss, and was as loving and social as ever...but the last weekend she stopped eating and then stopped drinking.

We think and hope we did not wait too long.  It's the most agonizing choice one has to make, and does not get easier over time with other kitties.

You'll likely see this after the last visit.  Just keep in mind that as kitty's caretaker and guardian, what you did IS an act of love.  We are able to give our little friends a good life, we owe them a least worst passing.

The folks here a a very deep well of compassion, they've helped me talk out and get through what my wife and I needed to do for our little kitty girl.

Take care - Pip

[spooky471]

Thanks for all the thoughts and well wishes...Spooky is now with the angels. My 3 year old daughter gave him a huge hug before I took him to the vet and said bye-bye Spooky I love you, you are my best good buddy, as a father it was very hard to hold back the tears but I saved those for after I walked out the door. He and I had a wonderful day today with my daughter, we played and snuggled, and he chased the sunlight reflecting from my watch across the room and up the wall as he did when he was a kitten. I adopted him in 1999 right after college on Halloween. He was Born Sept 1, 1999 and died July 20, 2012. He was a wonderful tom cat, fun spirited, sometimes timid, other times frighteningly mean to those he did not know or trust (such as the Vet) and a great snuggler. He always wanted to be within an arms length, not to be held too long and loved to rub his face all over your hands...He will be so very missed.

[opus88]

I'm so sorry for your pain, you did what you had to do...sometimes we have no options...I can tell by your words you loved the little guy very much and he would have felt that love each and everyday of his wonderful 13yrs....you taught your daughter the meaning of love and commitment to animals, sometimes commitment means doing things we'd rather not have to....gentle journey over that rainbow bridge little Spooky ...may he remain alive always in your hearts♥

[Piparskeggr]

Sounds like you gave Spooky a good life right to the end, bravo.  That's the worst we should be able to do for our furry companions and our human loved ones.

[gokitty66]

I'm so sorry to hear about this sad situation with your kitty. I lost a dear 15 year old baby a couple of years ago to some tummy trouble - although she passed on her own in my arms. The end of a life is NEVER easy. One way is not easier than another in my opinion. I work in ministry and deal with death often - usually the people variety - but they are all heartbreaking and difficult. Pets especially leave such an imprint on our lives and our communication is without conventional language. I think that your baby communicated something by laying against you that last night and morning, this is pretty much what mine did the night before and morning of her death. They know. You had the opportunity to make a little less suffering for your baby so please don't have doubts about what you did. I love my animals as my children (I have no children so they ARE my children) and I am certain I would have done the same. Be well and please share that love again with another kitty!