11 Year Old Afraid to Sleep Alone

My eleven year old son is afraid to sleep by himself. Up until last month he slept with us, his parents. Since school has started, we have him sleeping with his eight year old sister who is constantly complaining and not wanting him to sleep with her. He seems to have some fear about sleeping alone. We have tried nightlights, sleeping with the dog, etc. but nothing seems to work.

Also, he is always tired, he has indicated to us. We get him to bed by 9:00 p.m., with him falling asleep by 9:30 p.m. but he has to wake up by 6:30 p.m. We cannot seem to get him to bed any earlier.

However, our greatest problem is that he is extremely fearful of sleeping alone. What are your suggestions.

Also, do they make a children's sleep pill? He is restless throughout much of his sleep.

Thank you.

[blackrose]

Have you considered taking him to a chilld psycchologist.This really helps with talking to some one about things if they are embarrasses to tell you.                                                                                           good luck with your son

[SWEETDARKSTORM]

you know- they dont make a "child" sleeping pill, however- at gnc there is a product called melatonin- that is suppose to aid in sleeping and is safe for children. children need thier sleep, speaking of which- sleepytime tea might also work.  they sell it at the grocery store- tea isle.  i have used that for my 6 year old with adhd...it works.

[cheeps]

Does your son snore? Is he always tired?

[fiffa]

Hi All.. I am at my wits end. We have a 6 year old boy who won't sleep by himself. We have tried everything from lying with him until he falls to sleep but after we leave he wakes up, we have tried bribing him with everything, we have tried talking to him about why he needs to sleep by himself, I have stayed on the floor next to his bed etc...  What to do? We also have a younger daughter who has been treated exactly the same way and she is a great sleeper. I love both my children with all of my heart and would do anything for them. I just need to sleep.

[starlight000]

ive tried nightlights, sleeping with dog, etc. for the past 3 months she just cant. when we try she seems to be waking up crying and say that she cant do it.



what do i do?

[kp9er]

my girlfriend has a 12yr old that will not sleep by himself she says she has tried and tried to get him to his own room but he will just fight and argue with her untill she gives in i have threatened to tell his buddies about this and he throws a fit so he knows its not right all i can say is good luck

[yats]

My 11 year old child dont even sleep alone i dont know wats wrong with him and he is gonna be 12 now butn there is nothing to do so i say jus sleep by them

[mary194506]

Am I the only Grandmother that thinks her  8yrs. old grandson should not be sleeping with his Mother?  It seems as if she uses him as her emotional pillow. By that, I mean, that every time he returns from visiting his father, she has him sleep with her. Also if she had discplined him for what ever reason, she rewards him by letting him sleep with her. I find this very unhealthy for the child. Am I wrong?

[rosebudzplace]

We too have an 11 year old not wanting to sleep alone.  She cannot go on sleep overs either as she cannot sleep away from her parents.  We have tried several things including; lying down beside her until she falls asleep ( which worked, but not real desirable), reading to her and saying a prayer ( worked but she would wake up shortly after we left the room and then it started all over again) and things like warm milk before bed, allowing her to watch a TV program (also not disable), and allowing her to sleep with one of the other children (which worked, but they want to have their bedrooms back to themselves).  My latest effort is a suggestion to her to get into a comfortable position, close her eyes, and imagine herself in her "Littlest Pet Shop" play set as a "pet shop" character and to imagine a story and play it out (like writing a story).  I'm not sure yet whether this will work or not.  I'll let you know.  TC

[1234sarah]

My son Ryan is 10 and won't fall asleep on his own either, he says he hears voices and is afraid to. I'm getting all the help I can get but I have a feeling diagnosis will be hard to come by.

[whirlygirl820]

My son had this problem also - but my husband finally put his foot down and just said NO MORE!!!!!!  He told him in a very authoritive way and neither one of us has backed down - even though he complained and begged - and now he sleeps in his own room every night!   I felt awful and wanted to give in so many times - because I really liked watching TV with him at night and it was so much easier and nicer for him.. but  I realized that it is not good for him and he needs his own independence and needs to not be afraid.   He also doesn't go to sleep overs - even though all his friends ask him to - I am hoping maybe he will be able to now.   So - be STRONG - and do it for their own good!!!!!!!!!  

[Ronnie121]

Separation anxiety is common among children especially at bed time. Try a Mumoocie co sleeping pillow. It simulates a loved one beside your child. You lay with your child until he/she falls gently asleep then replace yourself with the body pillow that is torso shaped and snugs to the body. Since it retains heat and scent your child will sleep better and think you are right there with him.This pillow worked for us

[life_is_hard123]

I know it's a little rude to post personal issues on other peoples post asking for help, but i really also need some advice on my 12 year old daughter. She just CANT sleep in her oown room, or alone for that matter. but if ANYONE is around she can sleep just fine. She sleeps with us, and thinks te idea is unusual and it is getting very weird for her. shes told me. but she says its just too hard to sleep alone. she will get hot, jittery, nervous, and have an elevated heart rate when sleeping alone in her room. In the past she has succeded in sleeping alone, but only for about a month at a time before iit starts all over again. she also thinks the idea of seeing a psycologist is weird and makes her feel like a weirdo. she, and us, our getting sick and tired of sleeping together, but its just too hard for her to get out of our room. any suggestions?? or comments??

[mocasta]

When you feel like you just don't want to deal with your older kid sleeping with you, just think of that one song from Kenny Chesney-Don't Blink. If you have not heard it, its a really good song that makes you want to appreciate every moment of your life. "Don't blink cuz you just might miss your babies grow up and they're moms and dads...." get the point. My son is 11 and he stopped sleeping with us when he was like 6 or 7, and I really miss it. He will every once in a while, but our bed is too small and he is getting way to big. For those parents who's kids can't sleep on their own, could it be possibly cuz they watch a movie that really scared them, or maybe there is some paranormal stuff going around and the kid is just too scared to confide in you cuz he might feel embarrassed or that noone will believe them. I know stuff like that happened to me when I was 12 or so and I really wanted to go crying to my mom's room, but my step-dad was so mean he would yell and either smack me on the head to go back to my room. I really hated my room and would have horrible nightmares. I couldn't say anything beacuse I felt like they wouldn't understand. So for a long time, I didn't get sleep and I would just lay there and wait for the sun to rise. Talk tak talk talk to your chid. Another way to look at this problem with your kids is to imagine if you found out that your child past away the next morning and you were angry the night before cuz your kid wanted to sleep in your bed. How would you feel?  Eventaually it will go away. I am sure when he/she turns 18, he will not want to be sleeping in your bed. Is it so horrible for a child to want to sleep with their parents?

[yoyoyo1234567890]

I think that if your child cant sleep then Just sleep with him/her they will grow out of it but u need to give them time to let them  tell you that  they dont want you anymore!! No its not for their own good they will just get mad at u and hate u just let them be with u while u can u never no what might happen when they grow older so for now parents.. Be with them!!!!!!!!!!

[doctortom]

"Another way to look at this problem with your kids is to imagine if you found out that your child past away the next morning and you were angry the night before cuz your kid wanted to sleep in your bed. How would you feel? "

That is the worst advice I have ever heard.  Don't discipline your children or keep them from something want...because they might DIE and then you'll feel guilty!?!?!

Get a grip.

[shanny33]

My 10 year old daughter is putting a big strain on mine and my husbands relatonship she will not sleep on her own and will not stay up stairs alone without us what can we do i have two boys 8 and 3 and they are fine at bedtime, we have tryed everything :(

[Daycarelady110]

I would like everyone to know that I have a child who will be 14 in 2 weeks and this has been an on oging issue in my household since the start of middle school.  Yes it does interfere with your whole household every night.  But doI  think it is perfectly normal, no I do not.  To accomodate my chilld, yes I have done that by going top his rescue many a nights to keep peace in my household.  I have taken him to  a Psychiatrist, and a psychologist, none of this seemed to work either.  They only wanted to dope him up during the day, and I would still have the same old issue at night going on. When I ask him what is wrong he can only tell me that he feels much better sleeping with someone.  For the parent who says hang on to every moment you  have with them while they are young oviously does not have a child going throught this every night, that is about ready to enter High School.

[margypops]

This is to all... this is a 4year old thread but there does seem to be a problem shared by many. A lot of. Families in Europe share a family bed, they dont have incestuous relationships it is considered normal if they want to share ..now if you want the child to stay in his/hers own bed you  have to be consistant and firm,whilst not getting into any verbal battles as this  makes the issue worse and can cause major anxiety .So  do not let them into your bed ...period , say NO  a lot of yelling, screaming will ensue , stay quiet do not yell back, stay firm ,BOTH  parents not giving way ,each time they come out of their room, simply do not allow them in your bed or room, say No .If you give way you are back to square one ,its that nasty word 'consistancy' again . If you persevere and do not get into a power struggle the child will get it. You will be back in control,You created it so it has to be undone.Not easy but yes its do-able or as I say have the family bed, more often than not once puberty rears its head they will want privacy...Good luck

[jokamie]

My girlfriends daughter will not go to bed by herself. She is almost 10, and I have been witnessing this since she was 5. Her mom has to go lay down with her and can't stay up and do adult things. One of them talking on the phone. If I happen to call when I think she is asleep, my girlfriend answers whispering, and I hear her daughter asking who is on the phone. That is just one of the many problems that are happening, and have been. It is very hard to be around when the daughter is too, because she does things and says things that are not normal behavior, or appropriate. What to do...?

[kaos3099]

I am 13. I have this problem. Maybe i can shed some light on the subject. i have no way of knowing what is going on in you childrens' heads, but this is the story of what goes on in mine and 92% of children with sleeping problems. i will not sleep alone. i am petrified. i was taken to a psychiatrist and was dyagnosed with depression and severe anxiety, (although that was an incorrect diagnosis). while i took the medicine i started getting better, but my mom doesn't want me taking the medications, so i had to quit taking them. now im back where i started. i dont have nightmares, as a matter of fact my sleep is quite blank. but, im terrified of these... things. call them what you will, monsters, ghosts, undead, etc. they are terrifying. i dont see or hear them much but i know they are there... but at the same time i think there is something wrong with me, and they aren't real... but i am petrified. i cant even move to scream or run out of the room when im all alone. yes, im 13 and terrified to sleep alone. i often end up staying up the whole night. if i sleep at all, i sneak into the kitchen where there are no windows or dark corners, turn on all the lights, get all of my pets, and try sleeping on the floor. the fear... you have no clue. its like nothing you've ever felt before. id rather die than hav to go through this. my dad has to lay with me until i fall asleep every night, and i cant spend the night at anybody's house. the only way these gruesome creatures will leave me alone is if im with an awake person. its pathetic for a 13 year old to hav to sleep with her six year old brother everynight her dad isn't ther to lay with her until she falls asleep. please, if you've ever loved your kids, take them to counseling over this issue, no matter how much it costs. the fear is horrible. it tortures you, and no matter how tired you are, you just CANT go to sleep. no amount of sleepy tea or mommy's reassurance can help you child. you need medical help if this is your child's problem. trust me. sometimes it gets so bad, i start hearing voices, and seeing shadows. getting this little of sleep is extremely unhealthy, and if it goes on for too long, its a death sentence. dont ignore your child's sleeping problems no matter how little they seem. get medical attention and find out what is wrong before you ignore it. trust me, you would nevr want this to happen to your child. its a nightmare, only worse.

[momof1_3]

I am a mother of a 10 year old girl who has trouble sleeping alone also... I am working constantly but she has to have me sit there with her and pray then i go down stairs and come back up and check on her in 5 to 10 minutes intervals... i used to lay beside her but ended up falling asleep.. I know alot of it has to do with her sleeping me with on and off for years. I am a single mother and if she got scared i let her sleep with me and didnt push her to hard to go back to her own bed and eventually she ended up having to sleep with me when we lived with my parents for 2 years. I had sold our house and wasnt ready to buy a new one yet and there was only a bedroom for us to share.  I work with her alot and she has gotten better, she has good and bad moments.  Bad moments she gets up every 15 seconds saying she needs me, she hears something, or thought she saw something, we have lamps and night lights and bathroom light on.  she will even sit in bathroom upstairs til i come up there she is so scared sometimes.  Others she falls asleep with in minutes, so it isnt every night.  Which makes me curious about several things... is she just having withdrawals or seperation anxiety? is she really hearing something? we have been to counselor and they say she is great... she spends the night off all the time no problems... I cant quiet put my finger on it.  With all that said i will tell you this also.  I am 35 and I had night terrors well into my late 20's... i have only had a few in the past few years.  I never have discussed this with my daughter, or even acted scared of the dark with her i have always made it a comforting thing... I have no problem sleeping now but when i had night terrors i couldn't scream, i had sweats, heard things, saw things... my parents would find me and my brother in the closet with stuff animals an pillows around us. we both were scared ... but we were just kids.  All i know to do is find something that comforts them, if you say ill come back to check on you in 1 minute do, and start from there, then 2 minutes , then 3 minutes i mean its alot of work but i kinda look at it like potty training, repetition ... i mean i comfort her when i go in there, she falls asleep i kiss her head she opens her eyes slightly .. then eventually asleep.  this is usually after her getting up 10 times saying i cant sleep or im scared or i heard something but i keep on.  i see some progress but i have only been doing it a month now.  its tiring, i have 3 step children and after taking care of them and her yes im tired but to build her confidence and trust and security its worth it.  I dont push her away though, i either sit beside bed, lay for a minute or whatever, because as a former scared child myself, who wanted to sleep with someone and had sleep issues.. for years... i understand that comfort an trust is what helps you get past the anxiety, then you can relax and sleep.

[dreamweaverstar]

My dear. I have a daughter that expresses what you have. Although not to that degree. I used to experience night terrors; and I have lived in some haunted houses as a child and nighttime was extreme terror. I was fortunate enough to switch bedrooms and that resolved the issue - of sleep anyway. As a child of Jesus YOU HAVE the authority to rebuke all evil in Jesus's name. That's all you have to do. Jesus will protect you. Jesus loves and adores children. He died for our sins. All evil will flee when you invoke the name of Jesus. Try this. And I will be praying for you.

[serres]

I have a 11year old son who is suppose to sleep with his sister but instead he sleeps with his father and i sleep in his bed.We've tried everything even sleeping him until he falls asleep,  but most of the times he sleeps his dad. Their are times that he sleeps in his bed and then at 4 in the morning we switch. Other times which is very rare he sleeps through the night. He has a little blanket that he sleeps with. But when i ask him to go to sleep he rather sleep on the couch and then we take him to his bed but if he realises his their he goes and sleeps in my bed.

[Alex5506]

I'm 11 and I sleep with my mom very often. I can go to sleepovers and sleep fine. But when the lights go out I picture a doll with a knife standing by my door and usually go in my mom's room. I need help with getting the independence sleep myself.

[RamonNoodles12345678910111213]

Im 12 years old and I always have to sleep with my parents or in my little 5 year old brothers room wich is connected to my parents room. I was actually just trying to see if there was any solution. When I watch scary movies I can't sleep on me own in forever! I love to have sleepovers! I don't thingk I have a problem with sleeping with my parents I just never want to sleep alone! Also if im in my bed and if somon is still awake I can go to sleep. And if you ask me, noting rerally works when you tell your kid to just go to sleep, theres noting wrong.

[Farmer08]

My son is 9 and he wont sleep threw the night. He gets scared and works himself into a panic attack every night to the point he makes himself throw up. He always comes in our room which our room is already full with my husband, our  twins that are 3 and myself. My 9 yr. old sleeps in his 13 yr. old sisters room to start bed time is 8 and they are asleep by 9 usually. but by 11:30 his attack starts and wont end till about 1 am ish if not alot longer. he comes and says he scared of school but he has lots of friends and he is on honor roll and he is also afraid of home. It happens like a week straight at a time almost everymonth. I am not sure if maybe it is because we eat late around 6 30 or what but I just wanna get anyone elses opinon or anything that can help me help him....

[nickwink]

My 11 yr. old son is afraid to be alone at night.  He watched a really scary movie at a friends house once and it has really caused him to be afraid, especially at night.  My suggestion is to talk to your child about his/her fears.  We have allowed Ryan to read with a light on until he falls asleep, and then later, I go in and turn out the light!  Hope this helps!

[kevanie]

My 9 year old son is afraid of sleeping by himself.  He's ok when I stay with him until he falls asleep.  He'll wake up during the night and call for me and will fall right back asleep as soon as I come in.  The cause of this problem is because he saw Paranormal Activity (movie) over a year ago.  Not sure what to do or how to 'fix' this so he can sleep soundly through the night....

[scardycat999]

I cant sleep myself. Im petrified. I have to sleep with someone or else im up all night.
This is really upsetting me now.
If Anyone knows what i could be suffering from, plz plz PLZ reply.
By the way im 11

[alex653]

You are being totally ridiculous why is it so appropriate for brothers to sleep in their sisters room or vice versa. Silly old fashioned comments like that make parents feel shameful. I slept in my brothers room on and off all throughout my childhood even in to my teens and we dont have any "inappropriate behavoiur" infact we are both in our 30's and have a very good brtoher sister relationship. What is "Normal" . Let's not baby men as you call it and let them grow up with no emotions. What evidence do you have to prove your theory. I have 3 children 2 boys and 1 girl and you treat them how you believe they should be treated depending on their individual personality. What right have you got to tell people that they have pathetic parenting skills maybe you should take a look at yours. I still need a light on at night what is the big deal. Maybe you need to chill out a bit are you highly strung. Least my children will grow up knowing they are loved and respected. To all parents out there we are just trying to to do the best job we can we need advice not critisim.

[margypops]

Nothing wrong with you its okay , many families sleep together its a choice and if some family member  chooses to sleep with  you , its okay , most families do not abuse... Most of the world chose to sleep in a family bed, do not freak out its you and your families choice and its not wrong .

[allmymarbles]

Does he have sleep apnea? The is most common in people with small noses or nasal passages. They often have small mouths too.

[Libby340]

Wow I guess at least I can say Im not alone ;) I have a 11 year old daughter who is also affraid to sleep alone, she has been getting in my bed for years, A couple years ago my oldest son went away to school which left my then 12 year old alone in his room and even thou he is not scared I let my daughter sleep in her brothers bed while he was gone at school at first things were great with only a few bad nights and trips back to my room. Then it got to be were she needed the tv on to sleep so her brother said ok, then it was her brother had to stay awake until she fell asleep, then it was back in my room but with the tv on and waking me up every few minutes saying she is scared or getting up from my bed and walking the house crying staying up almost all night. I have tried EVERYTHING!  Today her dad told her enough and that she is to go back to her room with a night lite and tv on and go to sleep, he told her if she was still up after 12 and affraid she could only come sleep on our floor in a sleeping bag that our bed was off limits now and no more tv in my room, Well all I can say is it is now 12:30 and she is in my room on my floor, I dont know what to do I didnt care that she was in my bed until she got to were that was not good enough and she was keeping us all up at nite, we'll see how this goes and I 'll let ya know any advice is welcomed ;)

[Raycub]

My 12-year-old daughter won't sleep alone either. It's been happening on and off for the past two years, since her father and I separated. I've allowed both my girls to sleep with me on special occassions. Then, in the past 6 months, my oldest has sort of just assumed the other spot in my bed. I've fought with her countless times to go to her own bed because I have NO privacy or adult time anymore. As long as I'm awake, she's awake. She listens in on all my phone conversations, reads over my shoulder if I'm emailing, and wants to know everything going on in my life. It's like she's the parent instead of me. She'll stay up until midnight or later.

Recently, she had her cousins over for a sleepover, and, without my knowledge or permission, they watched paranormal Activity 2, and she is terrified of being alone. She won't even let me out of her sight now.

To top it ALL off, she was diagnosed last week with depression and put on anti-depressants, so now I feel guilty wanting her to go to her own bed. I'm caught in such a hard place. She acts like I don't love her if I tell her I don't want her in my bed. But I'm just so tired of it. Last night she has a freind sleeping over and once the friend fell asleep, she came into my bed. She's even crawled in with me when my boyfriend is staying over (he's moving in with us soon, so I can't even imagine what that will be like). She starts therapy in a couple of weeks, so I'm hoping that will help. Any suggestions in the meantime?

[jojo101164]

im 13 and i usually cant fall asleep on my own, i end up running to my brother's room or my mum and i sleep perfectly fine, but when im on my own i am terrified! im not scared of my room or anything, but my heart pace accelerates and i cant get enough sleep what do i do!

[jojo101164]

im 13 and i cant sleep very well on my own, i prefer sleeping with others and i sleep perfectly fine! but when im on my own i cant get to sleep at all, i turn the tv off at around 10:30 and cant get to sleep around 1, i usually run to my brother's room or my mum's and i feel like im interupting their sleep, i try EVERYTHING! and i cant sleep! is it because im pressuring myself to sleep?! i seem to have a full head when i sleep and i try blocking things out and try sleeping, sometimes i fall asleep at 2 but its not ennough sleep because i have school the next day and it interupts my learning sometimes i get soooo sleepy in class i can fall asleep but when im ready to go to bed i seem to be alert and not get enough sleep! i really need help! what do i do?

[sleepgurl]

i am 11 going on 12 in July. i am terrified to sleep by myself. i scared of a lot of things. i sleep with my grandmother every night.i feel horrible because my grandfather has to sleep upstairs because of me. my mom has an apartment but when i go to her house i sleep with her. i went to my first sleepover last month and i had to leave at 2:00 in the morning because my friends chose to go to sleep. 1. i cant go to sleep easily. 2.im scared of demon's and ghosts. my mom has prayed for me and even got one of the church mothers to bless the room for me. ive been paralyzed in my sleep and i get nervous when im alone. i don't like a lot of questions.so i cant go to a psychiatrist.3.im finna get a new bed but i know that won't work. I've seen hands on my bed when my mom and i were sleep. i have long hair and i saw a movie where the girl was sleep and the ghost took her by her hair and beat her up.i take sleeping pills but that doesn't kick in until 6:00 in the morning. i don't get a lot of sleep. and guess what i snore loudly.4. i sleep with my eyes open so i see things. im scared to sleep because i think when i go to sleep i might die or the world might end but my mom doesn't know all this .if someone could plz leave me a message to help me be able to sleep in my own bed plz

[sleepgurl]

i am 11 going on 12 in July. i am terrified to sleep by myself. i scared of a lot of things. i sleep with my grandmother every night.i feel horrible because my grandfather has to sleep upstairs because of me. my mom has an apartment but when i go to her house i sleep with her. i went to my first sleepover last month and i had to leave at 2:00 in the morning because my friends chose to go to sleep. 1. i cant go to sleep easily. 2.im scared of demon's and ghosts. my mom has prayed for me and even got one of the church mothers to bless the room for me. ive been paralyzed in my sleep and i get nervous when im alone. i don't like a lot of questions.so i cant go to a psychiatrist.3.im finna get a new bed but i know that won't work. I've seen hands on my bed when my mom and i were sleep. i have long hair and i saw a movie where the girl was sleep and the ghost took her by her hair and beat her up.i take sleeping pills but that doesn't kick in until 6:00 in the morning. i don't get a lot of sleep. and guess what i snore loudly.4. i sleep with my eyes open so i see things. im scared to sleep because i think when i go to sleep i might die or the world might end but my mom doesn't know all this .if someone could plz leave me a message to help me be able to sleep in my own bed plz

[sleepgurl]

this is in addition to my last comment.      
   i am also afraid to go to sleep because my mom studies the bible every day at work and at home. i had this long scar on my left leg and she read something on the internet where when you go to sleep you fight a spiritual war. idk but every night even if i sleep with someone i wake up tired and my mom says if you've been fighting all night you would be tired . my grand ma has multiple scars from the past 2 weeks and they could not be explained. unexplained scars come from spiritual wars. and you might think im crazy but in 1 night how can a scar go all the way up your leg and you don't feel a thing and the is no blood in the bed and i have white sheets this stuff is real. that's why i can sleep sometimes im scared off every thing. i know the stuff is real because you can feel when something is watching you or like there is a step in my kitchen when someone steps on it it makes a creaking noise. i heard it creek but nothing nowhere to be seen. if you can start your kids sleeping in their own bed early dot make them wait even as a baby they will get used to the warmth of a person next to them plz don't let them wait like me

[abuddyguymanfriend]

hey.

my 10 year old little brother always tries to sleep near my dad, if i say no my dad dosen't listin to me until my older brother comes in and argues, my little brother will then start to cry, cuss at me and use the f word constantly and threaten to kill me in my sleep (thats why i dont like him sleeping neer me) and my dad never really dose anything. i am starting to really worry about the both of them. any suggestions?

[Skreet]

Hi all,

I thought I would offer a little bit of unscientific insight into this situation that could possibly help people think up solutions to this pervasive problem.
I regretfully admit that I was one of these children who could not sleep on his own for most of my childhood. My fears were often not anything specific (unless I had accidentally caught a bit of a scary movie on TV earlier in the day) but I do remember the most frightening concept of everyone else in the house being asleep while I was the only one awake. The idea of it made me anxious and vulnerable. I just wanted to know that someone else was there to protect me if anything went wrong. Darkness had nothing to do with it, it was the desire for there to be another conscious person in the house besides me until I was asleep. If my parent was not in my room, I couldn't assume they were available to protect me, and you really do feel completely alone when everyone but you in the house is fast asleep. This separation anxiety eventually branched into a fear of going into vacant sections of the house alone: basements and the like. I sometimes needed to be escorted to the bathroom with the door cracked open and my parent waiting outside.
Some other factors that may or may not have contributed: 1. I slept with my bedroom door wide open. 2. My house was always dead quiet, instead of having a fan or some steady gray noise. 3. I was left unsupervised for most of the day, planted in front of the TV while my parents did the same upstairs. Come bedtime, I was desperately starved for parental/human interaction. 4. From the crucial age range of 0-4 years old, my room was on its own separate level, while my sister's and parent's rooms were all on another level. I was doomed from the start. 5. I have always taken a long time to fall asleep. The longer it takes for you to doze off, the more time your mind has to think of things that scare you, meanwhile everyone around you is falling asleep and leaving you feeling left alone, compounding the problem.
My parents were very loving and nurturing, but I really feel like their general lack of stimulation in the day is what led to my problems at night, which were quickly solidified. I'm a 26 year old man now, and I still suppress the occasional desire to verify that someone else in the world is awake while I am trying fall asleep. Could you have imagined such a profound and lasting impact?
I would propose that even something as simple as watching TV with your child instead of just with your spouse, or setting aside some dedicated playtime just prior to bedtime, could work wonders.

[margypops]

I answered on this thread a good while ago and it has surfaced again , good post Skreet you have much insight helpful to others . My take on it has always been that if parents do not mind sleeping with their children its okay, sometimes one parent does not want a 'family' bed and that can create problems .If both parents don't mind ,then I would say go for it, when puberty hits home the child usually want their own bed anyway for privacy and it solves itself.It is in my opinion entirely up to the family and how they feel..I do know that kids can kick around in bed so if a good nights sleep is important them get them into their own beds at an early age .Parents have also got to be aware that intimacy can be tough if they are regulated to day and evenings , have to be pretty creative on time frame ..As with what kids eat its parents that bore the children they are in charge and they are the ones that decide how what and where they children live and survive in this tumultuous time ..

[randomteen16]

I'm sixteen years old. I searched this because I still have this problem. Like one of you said, there comes a point when parents decide it has to stop. That was years ago and I still don't sleep. Trust me, it's not just being a kid and being bored or whatever. I'm terrified. I cry because I know that i won't be able to sleep once i stop hearing everyone moving around downstairs. I can't be the only one up. If i have a friend sleep over I'm okay. This is a real issue. I don't have much advice, since I still haven't overcome this issue. (I'm in bed upset about it right now.) Just don't blow it off and think it's a kid thing and it'll pass. IT DOESN'T. And I stopped talking to my parents about it because I'm afraid they still think of it that way. Don't let your kid feel the same way. I'm not just scared of being alone at night though, I get scared being alone in general, just especially at night. so maybe thats different.
Goodluck.

[terrifiedkid]

I have a 13 year old daughter.  She is the best daughter that I could ever have.  She has never slept with me and my husband.  She has told me several times that she doesn't like sleeping alone in her room.  She will often have sleep overs in her brother's bedroom.  He will sleep in the loft bed, and she makes a bed for herself on the floor.  She will sleep fine there, but when she's alone in her room, she can't sleep well, she will wake up around 3 am, and is terrified to go back to sleep.  I don't quite completely understand what she's going through.  Last night - she came out of her room, and told us that she couldn't sleep and that she was terrified to go to bed.  I have called our local Mental Health clinic here in hopes that they can lead us to a resolution for her.  I really worry about her because she's just 13 and to me she's too young to experience feelings like that, she should be having fun, playing with makeup, and talking about their crushes, not being terrified.  Any ideas?  Please help.

[margypops]

to random..Has anything ever frightened you at night, do you watch any scary stuff on video or TV ..what reason would you say you are frightened to be alone ?to terrified..same question why do you think your daughter is afraid to be alone ,what TV and computer or video's does she watch in the evenings I feel something is scaring/worrying her, what reason does she say for this fear?

[Sweety1424]

Im 11 and I don't like to sleep alone ... I think it's normal

[Sweety1424]

Im 11 and I don't like to sleep alone ... I think it's normal

[Sweety1424]

I'm 11 and I don't Like to sleep alone.... I can but I don't like to

[Lel1]

I remember when I was 9 (I'm 50 now) and I was watching the only cartoon program on TV on Sunday night. All the family was there. I began to think about how this was the only kids show on, and it would be over soon. Then I thought about how Sunday, and then the week would be over soon, and my mind jumped to the realization that everything would be over, one day, including my family, and me. It was a completely felt realization. I KNEW it.
After that I wanted someone to be there with me at night. It was really bad, but no one talked to me about it, and when you're 9 you don't know how to frame deep, philosophically scary thoughts into words. I think I said I was afraid of death, but that didn't convey the sense of inevitable ending I'd felt.
I don't think I was unusual. I suspect that around the 9 to 12 age a lot of children go through a developmental stage where thoughts and feelings like this are likely to happen. They need support, because it's a very scary thing to be alone with.

[margypops]

Some good posts here with thoughts on sleeping alone , do you think the dark has a lot to do with it, if you were to nap during the day in your bed/bedroom would you be as afraid ?I think that the silence and dark of the night has a lot to do with the fear .I also believe that if families want to sleep together its okay and up to them .

[afraidnomore]

I am 56 now but I know how you feel.  When i was your age the same thing was happening to me, I thought I was going crazy.  the scariest part was the paralyzing, the wanting to scream or move to let someone know I needed help me.  I still sometimes get those feelings but I now know they are a dream (feels like i am awake but i'm really alseep).  I tell myself in that dream that i know it is a dream and not really happening.  then i say a prayer to St. Michael:  St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan,
and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.  St. Michael protect me and those I love.  I still say the prayer on the nights I cannot sleep.  It works for me and I pray it will work for you, just believe.  

[margypops]

I like what you had to say..many children who watch are allowed to watch scary movies/video's have night mares and are afraid to be alone .I would suggest to parents to vet all and everything their children see.on the PC on TV and at any one else's house where they do sleep overs ,your house rules may not be the same as other parents ....

[bjo1978]

I need help my 9 YR old daughter wont sleep in her own bed sometimes she will start in there but ends up on the floor beside my bed. Tried nitelites..movies..pets and Layin w her..she tells me that she is afraid that I will die and she finds me dead.
I made apt w counselor but scared for her any suggestions?

[margypops]

Goodness bjo that was a lot of scrolling on a 5 year old thread ..but I think that unless it bothers you its okay to let her lay on the floor maybe make sure she has a sleeping bag.If you or her Dad have a problem with it, maybe send her back to her room , has she watched any scary movies or video's something has put the fear into her head regarding you .,ask her some questions . Its always good to get some outside help when you need to and seeing a counselor cannot hurt .Good luck

[giraffe_luver]

I have an 11 year old daughter named sophia. she is a brave little girl but when it comes to night time , she gets soo scared . Sometimes she even throws up. I am getting tired of her coming down stairs and crying , but i feel so sorry for her. Her sisters that use to be up stairs aswell move their dads house . Sophie's sisters use to watch scarey mobie around her on pirpose and tried to trick her and told her scary stories . I have been to 17 diffrent specialists but they just make her more scared. Sophie now sleeps on the couch down stairs watching disney channel untill she falls asleep. A need help know .

[margypops]

Be good if you could get her into reading some books before  sleep instead of TV as that is stimulating .I know that older children watch scary movies and if little kids are around it is frightening, however I have to ask you why did you allow her sisters to do that or have them on themselves? If this is the pattern there may not be much you can do about it, how does she get up for school if shes up late watching movies ?

[kc9546]

My 11 year old stepson sleeeps with his mother and has trouble sleeping at our house. She gave him a cell phone to use and did not tell my husband.  He wants to call her in the middle of the night when he cannot sleep. One time she read him a story over the phone.  We are in vacation and he talked for 30 min,as he laid in bed getting ready for bed.   I feel that it's strange and unhealthy .  He never use to call her and now he said he NEEDS to call her every night.   My husband has recommended a psychologist but she does not support that at this time.  He wont go to bed on his own and wakes up in the middle if the night - sometimes crying from a bad dream.  Or is it 11 year old separation anxiety.  I think it has effected him in,a negative way.  As a step- pbarent -It is really difficult.  And to top it off- his mother does not want him to acknowledge that he has a stepmother because she has issues.  Also not healthy
for him.

[kc9546]

I understand that its a parents decision but I see how it has effected him, when I did not allow him to sleep with me  he took it as a rejection.  His mom is going to a boy scout trip and I over heard him discussing sleeping with her instead of his boyscout pals.   Just seemingly inappropriate for an 11 year old.  

[boredgirl]

Ummm ..... ? This Is Weird I Am 11 && I Am Terrified To Sleep In the Dark Sometimes But It Depeneds My Mood Just Put A Tv In Its Room ? Alwayz Works 4 Me Lol If Not Just Talk To The Child, If They Watch a Scary Movie Thats Probably Why ( Thats Why I Canmt Sleep Very In The Dark Im alwayz Watchong Horror Films )

[ursh71]

i too am very stressed my daughter is 10 she has had trouble sleeping for 2years.she want,s to sleep with he little sister wich was ok the odd night.but kylie ma 7 year old got fed up with her in the bed,she say,s every nite shes gona try it,she gets up set,she sleeps with her granny or auntie or me then falls asleep.a wish it would stop me and my husband are very stressed a end up crying all the time its like walking on egg shell,s.a wish somone somewhere could come up wi a soulotion,load,s of parent,s would be less fed up.

[PG76]

Well am I glad I found this site!!!

Our 11 year old son just wont go to sleep at night, its after 12 when he finally does go to sleep but the slightest thing wakes him these days.

We tried everything to combat this, from diet change to more exercise to warm baths and warm milk NOTHING works!

I just cant believe I didnt realise what the cause was, until I read every post here. I was the same as my son, I just dealt with it better and also had a brother and sister in the same room so It didnt bother me as much.

Thank you to everyone who posted here, especially the 13 year old girl who really made me realise what the problem was.

I now know what I need to do, and that is to be his DAD again. I was so busy trying to prepare him for the big wide world that I lost track of my real purpose, to be a FATHER to my son.

I have spoke to him now, he broke down in tears because it was such a relief to actually talk about it, we had no idea he was so scared. I now do everything to reassure him that everything is fine and he is safe. Its not easy, but who said parenting was!

My advice is to ignore the idiots talking about making your children into men and women, that will happen on its own. Just LOVE your children, make sure they know it, they just need to feel loved, safe and secure.

Good luck.

[smiley56]

Perhaps some of these children suffer sleep paralyses? Basically its when you "wake up" but you can't move (thus the paralyses) and on top of that you have hallucinations that carry over from your dreams. You're eyes are open, you realize your awake and often times it feels as if something evil is looking at you or even sitting on top of you. It's like being half awake half asleep and its a terrifying experience. If it happens even once it can make you very fearful of sleeping. Perhaps sleeping with someone else makes them feel that if they can't move to fight the demon/alien/monster that the person beside them can.

Of course if a child tried to describe the experience it might come off as just another nightmare or some silly childish monster in the closet. But it feels 100% real when it happens. You see and hear things that aren't there. Some people even have out of body experiences.

[thisgetsold]

My 10, soon to be 11 yr old is scared to sleep in her room at night - only ay night.  She sleeps fine at sleepovers but sometimes when she has friends sleeping over, she tries to sneak into our room and I send her back and she squeezes in bed with one of the friends, and only then does she fall asleep.  Last night, she got in bed around 9:30 pm and didn't fall asleep until 12:30 am, only to wake up again at 3:30 am.  Needless to say, she didn't go back to sleep until 6:30 am, as I held my ground, but I didn't get much sleep either.  My husband, her dad, has been forced to go into the spare room, and this can be bad for intimacy.  Once she's in our room, she falls right asleep and doesn't have any night wakings.  The thing is though, I remember having a lot of fears as a child, up until about12.   I remember wanting to sleep in my parent's room as well and they accommodated me, so i felt secure.  I don't remember them sending me back to the room I shared with my two older sisters, however, I'm concerned that my daughter may end up being too dependent on people, even though I never turned out that way.  I will have her see a psychologist to have her screened, or maybe just believe that this too shall pass!  I liked the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.  I will give her that to read before bedtime.  

[notaloneanymore]

ok so it's 2:30 onm the am and my son who is 11 won't sleep in his own room... i am desperate to find a solution to this problem....and so happy to have found this form... after reading these posts I know I am not alone with this situation.... i may not have found an answer to the problem....YET... but I know in time it will present itself to me... thank you to all who has shared here

[naturegirl25]

Thank you and Amen!  My daughter has a hard time sleeping, but we know that Jesus and only Jesus is the answer.  The spiritual world is real, everything is not what you see.  Children need love from their parents, but most of all protection and love from Jesus.  He IS...

[vannessa308172]

Well I'm 12 yrs. And I don't know why iam afarid of sleeping alone that's how I got to this site! I'm scared to death and my mommy gets annoyed bby me. I think I need help!

[Mufinthe]

Oh my goodness, I didn't think people like you still existed in this day and age. I'm afraid I only feel pity for your children if that really is your idea of parenting in 2011.

[clmpulling]

Thank you for your insights. I have spoken to several your age range and found this is a common concern.

[Cirque]

I have been reading the posts on this topic for the past 45 minutes, and besides a few horrendous comments, I have a better understanding.  My son is 10 and doesn't want to sleep on his own.  We have tried talking, punishing and everything else under the sun.  But after reading what some of these other pre-teens and teenagers have gone through, I realize that I may not be enough to help him.  He is already a patient at a child behavior clinic.  I just now need to take one step further.  Thank you all for giving us some insight on what could be going on inside his head.

[maylene1852]

My daughters are 6 and 7. They give me a hard time at night. When they were babies they were breastfed so we did cosleep. At about age 3 the transitioned to their own beds. We recently were 6 months in a shelter now have 7 months out tho. They share a room. They complain of being scared so initialy I let them have lights and tv on. But they stay awake all night playin and are tired for school. So I started unpluggin tv after they fell asleep but now they wake up 3am wantin it. 7 yr old said she couldn't sleep so I just got upset and even shut off their bedroom light. The little one whined a bit but fell back to sleep right away. The oldest is still fussing. Maybe its all too stimulating and I'm starting to think the scared of the dark is just an excuse to stay up. Wat do u think?

[singlemompr]

I'm almost at a desperate point with my son who is 10 and will 11 in december.  My son is a big boy (physically), 5'1 tall, 155lbs, but still a pre-adolescent in mind, less mature than other kids his age but he's a sweetheart.  He was diagnosed with combined ADHD but fortunately we have been able to manage it with conduct modification not for negative behavior but yes for hyperactivity.  No medication due to a heart condition which can be affected if he took meds.  He always managed to sleep in his bed which was one of those car beds.  Sometimes he did sneak into my bed or would request to sleep over my mom's who lives across the street from me (he sleeps with her).  It wasn't an issue because he was sleeping the majority of the time in his own bed.  Because he is growing up quite fast physically and sleeping in the car bed looked like it was starting to get uncomfortable for him, in march of this year, I purchased him a new bedroom set, full size oak wood bed, a chest, computer table for his computer, made his room look really nice, a big boy room.  Even changed the wall color to all white with the exception of a wall which I painted a light blue color, as I was told that color you choose for your childs room is important, light blue was highly recommended so I did it.  At first he slept in his room for a couple of nights but would get up in the middle of the night, go to my room to stand by my bed and complain that he could not fall back asleep, that he had had a bad dream.  So at first I would let him continue the night beside me.  He also started to sleep over often at my mom's.  When he sleeps with either one of us, he seems to sleep quite well but if he's left to sleep by himself, he will always get up in the middle of the night.  First it was the nightmare excuse.  We are active christians, my son is child of much faith, he really has a good understanding and conviction of who God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit is.  He is aware that nothing can harm him while we are under God's protection.    Then the nightmare excused stopped and it was "just because" when I ask why he couldn't fall back to sleep.  I asked if he's afraid of something or if he's seeing or hearing things, he says no.  When I ask him why he can't seem to fall back asleep once he awakes in the middle of the night, he says he does not know.  For a short time I figured it could be that there was nothing really wrong and he just got used to sleeping with either one of us since he got the new bedroom set.  I decided it was time that he continue to go back to sleeping in his bed, plus, although I have a queen size bed, my son is a jittery sleeper and I'm a light sleeper so I awake easily, making it so difficult to go back to sleep and then difficult to wake in the morning to start our daily routine of school and work.  My mom also tried to be strong and talk him out of sleeping over, giving him all the reasons why he should be sleeping in his own bed and by not letting him sleep over unless it was necessary (if I had a meeting and was getting home late, etc.) I am getting very tired of this because if he sleeps in his room, he will always get up in the middle of the night to beg me to let him sleep in my bed, I have gotten up with him, taken him to bed, prayed with him, stayed until he fell asleep and go back to my bed but he eventually gets up again.  His big sister's room is right in front of his, we don't sleep with the room doors closed (I have a small cozy 3bdrm home) so it's not like he's in one side of the house and me or his sister are at another.  Our rooms are very very close to one another's.  I feel exhausted and at the same time I feel horrible because I don't want to seem like I'm being mean to him when I have made go back to his bed, sometimes almost crying.  He eventually comes back and then I let him sleep with me but I get so angry cause I'm tired, sleepy and it's just getting out of hand.  No dad to assist me, his father and I divorced 8 yrs ago and it's not something I can  ask his dad help for since he rarely comes to pick him and his sis up or call. I made an appt with his psychiatrist, let's see what light she can shed our way... Keep us in your prayers....

[lacksleep]

My twelve year old was diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) about two years ago and his sleeping problems seem to be getting worse.
He wakes me every night and the solution has been for him to get into bed with my husband, while I get into his bed.
We are trying a reward chart; he gets a star for every night he stays in his bed. He needs to get five stars in one week to get a "prize". And I have put an "emergency mattress" on the floor in my room.
It's not working.
Last night I lost my temper because I'm sooo tired, and now I feel awful, because he's really sorry and says he can't help it. I know he can't help it, but I'm constantly trying to "fix it". I'm beginning to think this attitude does more harm than good.
I'm thinking we should just ride it out like some of the other posts suggest, wait for hormones to kick in, and I'm pretty confident he will choose when he's ready to sleep on his own.
Thoughts?????

[lilbritt97]

hi. im 14,
   i used to have the exact same problem when i was ten and now my little sister has it (she is 10). its the worst feeling ever. ur alone, and there is evil in the world. and to this day ( i feel so bad saying this) but to this day i have to say "no" to every friend that invites me to go see a scary movie bc i know i will only be back at square one. idk what it is but there is something about the dark that freaked me out when i was 10. what really sucked was that my bed was right under my window so i would constantly have a tindancy to look up throught the blinds and imagine a face looking down at me. it sometimes happens NOW. eeek! i would run out of my room ( covering my ears?) and what oonly made it worst was when i lef my room thwre were HUGE windows coviring ever wall! so i would pull my blanket over my head and run downstairs to my parents room and go to sleep. but i have grown out oof that, what i do now is find a comfortablr possision (bc i got a new matress) and fall asleeep. at this second i am sitting in the room that i had to pass everynight to get to my parents room, its night, and there are windows every where but i have the least bit of fear. although i still to this day imaagine faces in windows:( o welll.... good luck parents

[fynnsta]

my girlfriend's son is 10 years old and they sleep together.  he can sleep on his own, and does when friends are around or if she stays up, which is irregular.  is this wrong?  she wont stay up to talk or watch tv or be an adult.  she goes to bed at 9pm and then i have to sleep in his room.  is this normal?  he doesnt have depression or anxiety because he can sleep by himself and does at his father's house.  i find this weird.

[MyBellaJack]

I feel for you.  Our son is the same and it's taking a toll on us too.  He says he just doesn't like to be alone.  At one point, he says he is seeing dark shadows and these shadows are talking to him.  I had him see a psychiatrist and he prescribed melatonin and he didn't see anything wrong with him mentally, just that he doesn't like to sleep alone.  

All in all the psychiatrist said drugs or no drugs, he eventually has to learn to cope with being alone.  We have a 4-1/2 year old daughter that can't sleep because my son keeps sleeping in her bed, so we have two cranky children during the day.  She sleeps just fine on her own and has learned to cope with sleeping by herself.  

My son has now tried to get our family dog to sleep with him but insists that our BIG dog sleep in bed with him.  Unfortunately dogs move around.  When our dog moves, my son wakes up.  No win situation.  My husband and I are tired and cranky as well.  We have seen at least 4 therapist since the psychiatrist.  

My husband and I just refuse to give in and sleep with our son.  It is a step back.  Eventually kids will learn to cope.  Unfortunately it'll cost sleepless nights for us.  At times, I just give in and have him sleep in our bed, but he fidgets and I am a very light sleeper.  

RESTLESS in CHICAGO

[Synchr0nized]

I was just browsing the internet, and I came across this. I'm going to bookmark it to see the replies I get. My name is Zak du Plessis, and I'm 12 going on 13 in March. I have absolutely no problem sleeping on my own, but my brother does. He is around 9 and I always tell my parents that he's better off sleeping in his own bedroom.

My parents were much more strict on me and my sister than him and my baby brother, and both my younger brothers live a more unhealthy lifestyle than me and my sister. They play very little sport, don't engage in exercise very often and spend their days watching TV before and after school. My 9 year old brother is starting to get a little overweight, he weighs round-a-bout 5 kilograms less than me, and I'm a completely healthy 12 year old (BMI of 19). When I was about his age I was at early 30s, not hitting 40kg!

This leads me to believe that a lot of your children have unbalanced lifestyles, or a mental sickness. It's fine to go sleep with your parents after watching a 16+ horror movie, but if you think you'll be scared for months after watching them, don't. I found it perfectly acceptable to go sleep with my parents after watching The Eye, or Paranormal Activity, but I think it is completely unnacceptable when a child sleeps with their parents 90% of the time.

Also, I tend to watch movies and play games completely out of my age restriction, and I think I have matured more in distinguishing between reality and fiction than children with over-protective parents. So to be honest, I think this problem (or phobia, as you might think it is) is all down to parenting.

[sleepdog]

We have an 11 year old and he used to sleep fine. Over the last few months he has started crying after he goes to sleep. We wake him up and he is fine but complains of a bad dream. If we let him cry he just starts screaming but if we wake him up he just asks what happened. If he sleep with us in our bed he is fine. Sometimes I sleep next to him in his bedroom and he is ok, if he starts to cry I touch him and he wakes up then usually goes to sleep again. I found an interesting reference  about lucid dreaming that seemed interesting but we just don't know what to do to get him over this.?

[smiley56]

I find this forum very interesting. In some cultures kids sleep with their parents and/or siblings until they get married! Even in this day and age. Actually I think the whole concept of sleeping in your own room is quite new. In the days of yore people couldn't afford to have multi-room houses, or for that matter to heat a multi-room home, and everyone slept in the same room if not in the same bed every night-- mom, dad, sister, brother, baby, maybe even grandma and the dog. Giving children their own rooms just meant you were really well off.

[alexa07654]

I'm an 18 year old girl, freshman in college. However embarrassing it is, I will honestly say that I did the same thing when I was your sons age. I couldnt sleep alone. It just scared me being alone. If my parents tried to make me sleep alone, I would cry and eventually sleep in the bed with my older sister. I just hated sleeping in my own room. What got me to sleep on my own is the fact that i slept in our spare room, which was a queen sized bed, whereas my own room's bed was only a twin. I would lay in that bed as long as it took then eventually I just fell asleep. I would also put a pillow on each side of me because it felt like i wasnt alone. it may sound strange but after enough times of doing this i was able to sleep by myself. TRY IT!! and good luck :)

[waianae]

put a tv in your 11 years room

[Birthdaygirl5059]

My 13 year old son who has combined type ADHD has always had difficulties getting to sleep and also staying in his own bed at night.  No matter what I've tried!  Lately he has had incredible trouble getting to sleep -usually he is reasonably quick to fall asleep if he climbs into the bed with me.  So this is new for us. I do believe around this age they tend to have greater difficulties with sleep and getting to sleep soI have asked his Psychiatrist to prescribe medication for his (and everyone's) sake as a temporary measure. He has ordered a prescriptive dose of Melatonin (which is a natural medicine for aiding sleep), but this only relaxes him enough to get to sleep.  Just started so not sure if it will be beneficial in the long run.  It's still taking him a while to actually get to sleep.  The good think about this page is people can being to realize they are not on their own, including the young people/children who are so brave to post and share some of their darkest thoughts and feelings.  I hope that we can all, through sharing and caring, get a better nights sleep very soon :)

[dan669]

I had the same problem i am almost 12 and ive fixed it!
All I did was get a stereo in my room then get some nice jazzy music I listen to Miles Davis. Since its nice and slow it really worked for me. It helps them take there fears off everything.

GIVE IT A TRY GUYS!

[wanttosleep162]

Hi - I know you posted a long time ago about your older child sleeping with you - and I was just wondering if you ever found a solution?  We have an 11 year old boy who comes in every night at about 1:30 am.  When he has friends sleep over, he is fine - and won't come to our bed.  He says he just needs a human around....Would love to hear you don't have this problem any more.  He has done this all his life...Thanks!

[Angelfaces]

I am the mother of an adopted 10 year old daughter for over 8 years she has had these night terrors of "yellow people."  Her story of her night terrors has progressed over the years and I have figured out her mental illness worsens when the "yellow people" are after her.  Sometimes she is so terrified and tells me her story that she literally falls asleep and needs to shut herself down because her fear is so real.  In reality, and during the daytime, I have noticed that when there was a code red at the school all the children panicked but not my daughter she immediately hid in a private area with all her classmates and fell asleep to disassociate herself from the world.  She told me when there was an "all clear" that she knew those "yellow people" were there trying to find here.  It was a bad scene outside within a 5 mile radius but it also had nothing to do with my daughter.

She will describe in detail some horrible acts in full detail of what these "yellow people" are doing and their plans.  In my opinion, this is all part of her severe mental illness and an internal expression of her inner most fears and thoughts.  I have later discovered that she is constantly in the fight or flight part of her brain with feelings of trying to exist in life.  She is safe, however, in her mind, there is always something there that makes her safety net disappear.  

I have never slept with my children but when they were ill I have slept in a bed next to theirs in the hospitals.  I always check on my children during the evening especially this child as she wraps her head with heavy blankets due to her fear.  Sometimes I go to bed around 3 a.m. so I can unwrap her head at least 3 times before I can rest.  She tells me she covers her head thinking that if the "yellow people" come when she is sleeping they will not find her.  I read stories to heal my children of their fears right before bed and we discuss ways to control our dreams to make them go away.  We really can control our dreams and change the direction if we really wanted to, just try it.  This process seems to be temporary in my child so she wants me to help her feel safe over and over again.  I can get pretty creative in making her "yellow people" go away.

The first step is identifying and acknowledging the problem, give it a name.  Once the child has a name for "it," the parents can begin to help their child to heal by finding creative ways of making it go away so the child can begin to feel safe.

[galby72]

thanks for giving us mothers the childs perspective on this horrible sleep condition, my daughter is 11 and for months and months now has always become very anxious at night time and will only fall asleep if she knows im in the nearby room and watching tv, a few hours later she will wake and become petrified of "being all alone" and sleep the rest of the night on the couch in the loungeroom right near our bedroom, she can fall asleep just knowoing we are close by, ive tried everything she is now seeing a phschologist. She has severe anxiety, maybe even depression im not sure. Tonight she got into a real state and refused to go to her room so i gave in and she is on a matress in our room next to my bed, she was asleep in 2 mins, she also refuses to go to her school camp in 6 months time....

[sleepy21]

My son now almost 11 has not slept throught the night since he could climb out of his crib at 2.5 years old.  He never slept with me as a baby until he started with the night terrors.  He is ADHD and takes Kapvay at night which helps him relax but he always wakes up in the middle of the night.  Like everyone else here, he sleeps fine in my bed.  His Dad and I are no longer together so at his Dad's house his sleeps with him.  He is a restless sleeper and he is too hard to sleep with and I feel he is just getting too old to continue this habit. I have tried in the past and present: aquariums, radio, relaxation cd's, the dog sleeping with him, my latest attempt was a tv so if he woke he could watch something he had on DVR to avoid seeing any scary movie previews, I should him how his window is locked and i got a alarm system installed and showed him how it works..  The tv worked for about 2 weeks and here we are again with the same problem.  We also tried a therapist, which did not work either.  I have tried tough love but he stays up all night and actually misses school then.  Has anyone on here found something that works even a few nights a week??

[prettyckh]

I don't know if you have any children but I feel like you don't have any or your children don't have problem with sleeping. I want  the solution because my son wants to be better not just because I don't like to sleep with him. It is hard for everyone when they can't sleep. My son just begged me to talk to the doctors because he can't cope with fear everyday. If just sleeping with your kid was solution, I would've done that. So Please don't say like we are being mean or can't be bothered.

[dolly510]

My daughter is 11 years old and I, mom made a huge mistake about 2 weeks ago to let her watch Paranormal Activity 2. She insisted and I gave in and we watched it together. I know, I am a terrible mother and am not ususally this giving but she seemed so confidant and insisted that all her friends have watched it...Now, she is completely terrified of any space that I am not in, thinks any slightly coincidental happenings like a sound in the chimney is due to some evil spirit. I have a really strong faith in God and we pray every night and that has not helped one bit. Her faith in God seems so affected right now and would not step into her room without me being present. I will be patient and sooth her until she is ready to understand that it was all a hoax and that it was just a movie. Anybody else has any other advice? Thanks,

[kaylie78696]

I am 13 years old! PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT! and basically my dad has two wifes! and he takes turn in sleeping one day with us and the other day with his other family which for me are my real family... i thought this would be a great thing to post because i wanna let out all my emotcions, i am eally scared to sleepp alone.. but my mum and dad had gone out of town somday! and i satyed with my elder brther and his wife and i slept alone.. but still whn my parent came back i just felt blanc... whne my dad isnt with us i sleep with my mum in her room and that makes me feell safe... i feell like i am protected by my mum when i sleep with her i feel that i know there is someone who is there for me, whne my dad comes home after one day he sees how stressfull i am and without anything syaing he goes sleep with my elder brother who is 20.. they both enjoy eah others presence and play around and have fun... and my brothers talks and sleeps with my dad and them two always have fun in the room talking about my brothers job... and i sleep with my mum.. i feel so sadd whne i see my mum and dad separate from each other i just feel like to kill myslef!!!! i am soo sad! and very misrable! =( i just need some helppp to sleep alone! what should i do.. my family are trying to help me sleep! but i am tensed in school i am not able to really concentarte with all these things in my mind, and sometimes i feel whne my dad is in the other home my mum is sleeping alone so i join her all the tiem!!! i think i might have a poblem or something but i can try to sleep but i really would love to sleep with my mum please reply.. i feel like crying

[kaylie78696]

I am 13 years old! PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT! and basically my dad has two wifes! and he takes turn in sleeping one day with us and the other day with his other family which for me are my real family... i thought this would be a great thing to post because i wanna let out all my emotcions, i am eally scared to sleepp alone.. but my mum and dad had gone out of town somday! and i satyed with my elder brther and his wife and i slept alone.. but still whn my parent came back i just felt blanc... whne my dad isnt with us i sleep with my mum in her room and that makes me feell safe... i feell like i am protected by my mum when i sleep with her i feel that i know there is someone who is there for me, whne my dad comes home after one day he sees how stressfull i am and without anything syaing he goes sleep with my elder brother who is 20.. they both enjoy eah others presence and play around and have fun... and my brothers talks and sleeps with my dad and them two always have fun in the room talking about my brothers job... and i sleep with my mum.. i feel so sadd whne i see my mum and dad separate from each other i just feel like to kill myslef!!!! i am soo sad! and very misrable! =( i just need some helppp to sleep alone! what should i do.. my family are trying to help me sleep! but i am tensed in school i am not able to really concentarte with all these things in my mind, and sometimes i feel whne my dad is in the other home my mum is sleeping alone so i join her all the tiem!!! i think i might have a poblem or something but i can try to sleep but i really would love to sleep with my mum please reply.. i feel like crying

[woodbee7]

I brought our grand son a body pillow that he can hug and a voice activated light so if he get scarred he can hug the pillow or clap his hand together.Its working so far for him. i told him when he huggs the pillow  he can think it his nana and iam hugging him back

[kaylie78696]

Awwwhh so cute.. what is this thing clleddd? nd where can you get it?? PLEASE REPLY to my story!!!

[random430]

When I was younger, up until I was about 12 or 13, I would sleep in my parents' bed. The problem with sleeping alone, at least for me, was that my mind was left alone with all these terrifying thoughts that I myself constructed and couldn't help but construct. I started to share a room with my sister (different beds) and I know that helped a lot. Also, reading a book was probably the most helpful for me. The light was on and my mind was filled with what was going on in the book instead of what would normally be in my head during nighttime. I also learned that listening to the radio helps if you try to focus on the lyrics and the music. They helped lull me to sleep. My younger brother  is now 8 and we have started him on reading in bed because he doesn't want to share a room with his 9 year old sister (and she doesn't want him to either). I am now 17 and, at least for me, these things have worked relatively well. I have never been to a psychologist or psychiatrist. However, I sometimes pull out the old book now and then, as these things probably never go away completely. The best thing a parent can do is not act resentful towards a child that is scared of sleeping alone and really try many things to find the right solution. I hope I have helped in any way at all and hope all goes well.

[haybug01]

ok well melatonion might help sleeping

[jts0816]

Im a 11 year old boy im just scard not knowing is someone snuck in or is watting out side p.s. close th blindes it helps

[wantstohelp79]

My sister has a 10 year old boy that sleeps with her every night he never gets disciplined for the things he does wrong even when he uses bad language she blames it on his friends and doesn't belive that he is involved but he is so spoield that the only time he is held accountable is from other family members and they feel bad that they are "bad guys " cause his mom doesn't want to hurt his feelings how or what do I do before something happens and Dcfs gets involved because we all know its not right to have a child that age sleeping with his mom or dad!!

[Jenni1290]

I read this and I can relate to most of the people experiencing this fear. I'm 12 years old and I've had a fear of sleeping alone for about seven years. I am so petrified that something is going to happen while I sleep. I feel like when I am with someone I'm protected and safe. I hate this fear so much. I wish I never had it. It made me feel like an outcast but after reading ALL of these comments, I know I'm not alone with this fear. I feel like something I can't see is going to get me. At one point, I tried sleeping in my bedroom with two dogs, a hamster, three goldfish and a cat but I was still terrified. At sleepovers, I am perfectly fine because other people are with me but I'm always edgy, staying up later than my friends in fear. I had a sleepover with my best friends in one of the girls' basement and I stayed up until 4 am wondering if something was lurking in dark corners. They got annoyed with me because I kept turning on the bathroom light to shed a little light on the terrifying darkness. My father once drew the line and said I HAD to sleep in my bedroom without the lights on. I sat on my bed trembling and cried quietly with small night lights and dim desk lamps on so I wasn't noticed. I wasn't even allowed to have one dog in the room. Consumed by horror, I dragged out my sleeping bag and put it by my bedroom door so I had an easy escape. I waited until my parents' bedroom door shut before going to the bathroom and sleeping in the bathtub (dry). I go to school groggy and exhausted after struggling through each and every torturous night. I was afraid of the fear, if that makes sense. I thought people would think I was weird because I didn't sleep in my room. My room is very bright and is filled with fluffy stuffed animals given to me by family members and friends. My walls are a light green colors, like spring flower leaves. I don't understand why I'm afraid. Please, all parents: if your child has this issue, consult help immediately. Don't just assume that it is some child fear that they will get over later. It's ruining my life and even if it does go away later on in my life, my childhood will drag on slowly, each night more mentally agonizing than the last. Don't let this be your child.

[Nancycat116]

Dear kaos3099.   Your post touched my heart and I hope some time you can talk to your Mom and help her understand your need to see a doctor and get some meds.  Also some advise from my son who is 12 and has the same fears:  wrap yourself up in your blankets so you feel covered and safe.  Its nice to have a flashlight nearby.  And leave on a small light or lamp in your room and the hallway light if possible.  Everthing feels safer when you are not all the way in the dark. Leave a radio on with soft music such as smooth jazz.  One more piece of advise from me (the mom) its ok to sleep with someone you love for now if it makes you feel safe.  I promise you when you are ready you will move on to sleeping alone.

[Arbonnemom]

I love your comment and it is so true!!! We have a 9 1/2 year old who is totally resisting bedtime sleeping away from us (she even sleeps with her 8 year old sister) but she says it is because of the storms, which is totally our fault because we drove around after a night of massive winds and looked at all the damage it had done.  We reassure her and everything but she cries even to sleep with her sister and brother.  The hard part for me is that even to give in to her causes a domino effect because she is the oldest od four;(.  

[momhelp102]

Honey, I am so sorry you go through this every night! That is horrible. I wish I had some advice for you. Has your family talked about you seeing a therapist about your fears?
When I was a kid I had very religous grandparents and they always talked about the "Rapture" I seriously thought I would never have the chance to grow old enough to drive a car, get married, have kids. I can tell you, I am now 45 years old and have done all that. You have to allow yourself to feel less fear and have more fun in your life.
I hope things get easier for you.

[maxafrass]

That is totally true. Why would people ever do that? My 9 year old daughter sleeps with me. Shes scared of the dark, and everyday when she goes in her room, she checks behind the door to see if there's a murderer. Shes terrified. We cleaned her room, and had her sleep in it again. We provided her with a water bottle, and a hard cover book next to her, to comfort her, in case somebody comes in. (On her point of view) Shes unhappy with it as well. But it seems if we clean her room, provide a water bottle, and a hard cover book, shes fine. She plays hockey, and is afraid of watching 'Harry Potter' She cooks our lunch, dinner, and breakfast. I just don't understand why she can't sleep. (She WANTS to cook for us) Any more help?

[ChazMazziest]

Are all of you kidding me? Do you know why they can't sleep alone? Because you allowed them to sleep with you! And, not as a treat, but a lifestyle. Then, all of a sudden they are too big and you figure now they will just go to another room to sleep?  How about you starting today to sleep on the floor or the couch. Not an easy transition is it?

It has to stop and it will be a battle. Because you have been a sap for too long and your child knows it. And, if you want them to stop. Then you stop it, take your lumps stand your ground and understand it is what you made them into. Now you have to really do the hard work when there was a time it would have been an easy transition. But you were too caught up with you snuggly little baby doll then seeing what your responsibility really is, is to raise a child into an adult.  Instead, you are growing a monster.

For parents that have new children. They go from the crib to THEIR bed and THEIR room. Otherwise, your room IS their room.

Not rocket science. Common sense. You wanted a child but you seem to have forgotten the part about them growing up. You should be ALWAYS thinking of what you need to do to prepare for their future. Including where they will be sleeping and how you will get them there. Children are not light switches or toys.

[Jessica_v]

My son doesn't want to ever sleep on his own. He is 11 years old  and i just can not get him in his own room. I sometimes have  issues with my husband about it. People advice is that i should not let him get to me and just put him in his bed and lock my room. I can not do it to my son