4 year old peeing on floor

[3_boys]

My son started peeing on the floor while my husband was on deployment with the Navy.  When my husband came back, it stopped for a few weeks, but then started back again.  He is 4, and has been potty trained since he was almost 3.  He takes his pants down and goes in his room, playroom, bathroom, and even on the walls in the hallway.  I ask him why, and he says he doesn't know.  He is highly intelligent and has always been ahead of the majority of kids his age.  I know that he knows better and knows that it is wrong, but I can't get him to stop.  This has been going on for about a year.  I have tried everything from a reward system, talking to him, time out, loss of privileges, spankings, having him clean up his own mess, making him stay right by my side at ALL times, and now am throwing his card collection in the trash.  One by one, each time he pees on the floor, I pick a card and cut it up, then he has to put it in the trash.  He is also wearing a diaper right now, as well as cleaning up his own messes (just with water...I use the steam cleaner later).  I am at my wits end with him.  Tonight we had a rational discussion and he expressed how upset he would be if I cut up another one of his cards.  We finished brushing his teeth and in less than 1 minute he came out of his playroom crying and said he had peed on the floor in there.  I really don't get it.  He KNEW what was going to happen and had just told me that he didn't want that to happen, yet he went in and immediately peed on the floor.  Most times he doesn't even tell me when he does it.  Either I or one of his brothers will find it.  Since the beginning, he would only pee on his end of the house (bedroom, playroom, bathroom, and hallway), but recently he even went in my room.  He pees on the carpet, and sometimes on books and toys.  I am SO angry now, I don't even know what to do with him.  I really thought the embarrassment of him wearing a diaper would do it, but once it is on, he doesn't really even think twice about it.  What can I do?  We are worried that he may have some sort of damage to his brain.  When he was 1 month old, he fell out of his baby carrier onto the pavement.  He had a skull fracture, and has been followed up on by his doctors.  His last scan was when he was around 2, and he was so advanced on everything, the doctors said he was just fine.  In the back of my mind, I have always been worried about him though.  Do you think  he could have some damage stemming from that?  Please help!!

[Gary_Goodale]

I have a son who is 4 years old, turning 5 in February.  His mother has physical custody of him.  I have visitation.  For me, he acts great.  I rarely have to reprimand him, and when I do, he listens to me and does what I tell him to.  When he goes back to his mothers, she is calling me within the half hour telling me he is mouthing back to her and will not listen to her.  She has told me that recently he has started to pee on the floor, in garbage cans and even on his brother.  His mother and I get along great.  We rarely fight and / or argue with each other and when we do we make it a point that there are NO kids around.  She has a very "hectic" household.  She has 3 other kids, ages 1, 3 and 6.  I've been saying that he just needs more attention.  I am not sure about this answer.  Her answer?  He has ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) - NOTE that as of May 2013, ODD is no longer a valid diagnosis.  She also believes that he has ADHD, which is a great possibility as he has many of my traits and I was diagnosed with ADHD.  He also has my hostility, which is yet another issue he has.  Just the other day he smashed his 1 year old brother's face into a wall, making his nose bleed and my son just stood there and laughed.  When he gets into trouble with my mother (his grandmother) or his mother, he smiles and / or laughs about it.  He does not do this with me.  So, tonight his mother asked me to look up on the internet to see what I could find out.  I came across all of your posting and it is soooo much like the situations that are going on with my son.  So, if ny of you have any advice and / or ideas, please feel free to respond.  It should be said that we have him signed up for counseling, however there is a long waiting list (?) for that.  We are hoping a spot will open very soon.  

[mommyof2boys05162011]

My son pees in the floor and his pants sometimes
Nothing stops him that I have tried so far. I know he pees his panys because he doesn't wamt to take time to go to the bathroom and miss out on something or he waits until its too late and cant unbutton his pants or pull them down fast enough. As for peeing in the floor when I ask him why he says its because I made him mad. He is 3 almost 4. Idk what to do either because punishment makes him do it every time.

[emmy271]

I have a 3yr old little girl who is potty train. Today my daughter and I were outside taking a walk when she started pulling her pants down trying to pee on the side walk next to a street full of passing cars. she told me she had to pee after she had her pants half way down. This is my only child and I wanted to know is it normal for little girls to try and pee outside?

[stumps77]

I can't believe the comments about the  'punishment' these little ones are getting. I have a three almost four year old who is doing the same thing, it's normal for this age (as you can see from all the other people in same boat). Lack of patience and understanding only prolong the problem. It's not like they're being naughty on purpose, it's a physical thing that only love and persistence will fix. Take a step back and try to see it from their point of view....mummy takes away my favourite thing when I do something 'naughty'. Just increases the anxiety!!!

[2boysdad]

Everyone seems to have the same the problem. Does it 'cure itself' or 'just go away?' Are there any solutions?
I have an idea about what my 4 year old's problem is, and I try to make time for him, play puzzles and the like, but he spends so much time misbehaving that it's hard to do anything but send him to his room or spank him.

Mom and I are having a tough time with it.

[mamahaas]

I am dealing with this right now and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but my son WAS abused at the local YMCA and his counselor told me to watch out for this behavior. Another one, which he actually isnt doing but she mentioned, is if they wipe poop on the walls. I too was abused as a child and gross as it sounds, I remember doing that :-( Please seek help for the kids and you can gently ask, as I did, " is there anything you want mommy to help you with? or Is there a secret that you want to tell me that someone told you not too? or I just asked him one day when he was 'sick' home from school again, "is someone hurting you?" My heart dropped but I am glad I asked. I wish you all the best as it is a struggle we are still in. Its been a year, he is 4 1/2 now and just starting to do it so.... I dont have answers. I am sorry for all of you because I know where you are at.