4 year old peeing on floor

[3_boys]

My son started peeing on the floor while my husband was on deployment with the Navy.  When my husband came back, it stopped for a few weeks, but then started back again.  He is 4, and has been potty trained since he was almost 3.  He takes his pants down and goes in his room, playroom, bathroom, and even on the walls in the hallway.  I ask him why, and he says he doesn't know.  He is highly intelligent and has always been ahead of the majority of kids his age.  I know that he knows better and knows that it is wrong, but I can't get him to stop.  This has been going on for about a year.  I have tried everything from a reward system, talking to him, time out, loss of privileges, spankings, having him clean up his own mess, making him stay right by my side at ALL times, and now am throwing his card collection in the trash.  One by one, each time he pees on the floor, I pick a card and cut it up, then he has to put it in the trash.  He is also wearing a diaper right now, as well as cleaning up his own messes (just with water...I use the steam cleaner later).  I am at my wits end with him.  Tonight we had a rational discussion and he expressed how upset he would be if I cut up another one of his cards.  We finished brushing his teeth and in less than 1 minute he came out of his playroom crying and said he had peed on the floor in there.  I really don't get it.  He KNEW what was going to happen and had just told me that he didn't want that to happen, yet he went in and immediately peed on the floor.  Most times he doesn't even tell me when he does it.  Either I or one of his brothers will find it.  Since the beginning, he would only pee on his end of the house (bedroom, playroom, bathroom, and hallway), but recently he even went in my room.  He pees on the carpet, and sometimes on books and toys.  I am SO angry now, I don't even know what to do with him.  I really thought the embarrassment of him wearing a diaper would do it, but once it is on, he doesn't really even think twice about it.  What can I do?  We are worried that he may have some sort of damage to his brain.  When he was 1 month old, he fell out of his baby carrier onto the pavement.  He had a skull fracture, and has been followed up on by his doctors.  His last scan was when he was around 2, and he was so advanced on everything, the doctors said he was just fine.  In the back of my mind, I have always been worried about him though.  Do you think  he could have some damage stemming from that?  Please help!!

[micric]

my four year old daughter started peeing on the carpet, only in her bedroom,
She gets plenty of attention more than most children because she is an only child.
The attention she gets is quality and positive. My daughter is very smart with a vocabulary
better than some adults I know, so with that said.. being stern by timeout, not rewarding her,
taking fun things away DID NOT WORK  so I turned to the internet and found that Im not alone.
I have to say I had to laugh not one person suggested a spanking, So I will tell you after she got
a spanking one that got her attention SHE HAS NEVER DONE IT AGAIN.

[MzJLewis]

My daughter is 3 1/2 and has been peeing on her bedroom floor for several months now. she was potty trained at 2 1/2 and did really great with it. I never pushed potty training or made it a big thing.I do think that after she was out of diapers, a lot of changes were happening in her life. one after another. Changes that just couldn't be avoided. she was so big I couldn't keep her in her crib, because she was climbing and falling out.I moved her to a toddler bed. Then her biological father came into her life. She had to be alone with him and a court supervisor.very stressful on her. Then her sister was born. I was breastfeeding and at home all day. I try so hard to give her a wonderful life, and I am with her a lot but there is a 12 month old sister there too. I do the best I can. she loves her preschool, her grandparents, and her family life is nice and loving. I just can't help but feel like I have failed as a mother. I've been making her room so nice and she pees all around her bed. maybe I should call the doctor? I try to give her so much attention. my mom says I should react whatever way feels natural.... well It makes me pretty mad. I've never spanked her for it. somehow i don't think taking away her preschool tv shows will make her  stop either.  **** sigh   but reading all of these posts has really helped.

[aaronswifey69]

My little girl is 5, she has been peeing on her bedroom floor since she was 3! We have no idea what triggered it or why she does it. We bought a house when she was 3 and thats when and where it all started. She pulls down her pants and pees on her bedroom floor. No where else just her bedroom. She recently started doing other things as well...smearing poop on her wall, destroying things, talking back. I dont know what to do or how to stop this! We have tried several places for help and NO ONE can figure out WHY she does it?? She has had a TSS, a behavioral specialist a theorpist...no one could help us! I think I am going to try what Lovesadkids suggested and see if it helps any. I hope so!

[Tausha87]

I am so relieved to see that I'm not the only one experiencing this!! My son is 5 years old and only recently started this behavior after new years, this year. My mother in law lives in St. George and has taken my son for 'vacation' about a week to two weeks a year (at one time) since he was two years old. He asked while we there for new years if he could stay at my mother in laws and come home later. We decided that'd be fine and we called every day, nothing new to him or us. He came home about a week and a half later and everything was fine. Then suddenly one day I step in a wet puddle where I KNOW nothing could be dripping, spilled, etc. I lean down to smell and ew! Pee! My husband had actually seen my son just take out his thing, but asked- what are you doing?, and my son just said "nothing. just looking." and put it away. It was wierd, but he didn't think anything of it until I came in and said it smelled like someone had peed right in the doorway (where my son was seen holding his thing). We scolded him- he was sent to his room, no tv, toys or video games the rest of the night. That seemed to be the end of it, though when I later asked him why he did it, he replied "I don't know, I was just being crazy." Uh, ok. So I forget about it, and he starts making complaints about going upstairs alone (day or night), and asking me to go with him. I asked what he was scared of, and he said "Zombies and monsters." Obviously we explained there was nothing to be afraid of and a week goes by with this annoying zombie problem (I don't even know where he saw/heard about zombies.) and having to go with him or making him go alone. Just a few days ago I walk past a heat vent right in the hallway outside the bathroom and there was an overpowering pee smell. I go in the bathroom and the smell decreased- i look back in the hall and there was a small puddle dried up right there, and yellow running down and in the vent. SICK. I don't understand that- he was literally right outside the bathroom. Today, I walk past the same hallway and there is a guest bedroom right next to the bathroom and the smell of pee was coming out of it. I'm just like, no way. I walk in and I can't see the spots, but I can definitely smell them. So I bring my son in and very calmly ask him, "Where in this room did you pee?" At first he lied, and told me "I didn't do it!" but I kept him there and kept repeating where he peed. Finally after about 3 minutes he shows me two spots in the closet and a pile of blankets. UGH. So he was immediately sent to his room, without his 'goodnight snack' or movie time before bed. He started crying really hard, so i sat down with him and asked why he was peeing on the floor. He admits he knows it's not a toilet, and that he doesn't like the bathroom- he doesn't want to be there alone. SO, I will be going to the bathroom to supervise from now on. This house seems to freak him out (it is older, and my brother was recently saying he hears 'weird noises' from the bathroom or upstairs (which is why i'm thinking he's started doing this). We are moving at the end of the month to a condo and I am terrified he's going to pee on the brand new carpets. Also with the moving I haven't had as much one on one time with him (he's my only child), so I'll try upping that and see if I can get this to stop. I'm hoping it's just that my brother or whoever else made him freaked out of just this house, and the behavior will stop once we've moved, if it doesn't after tonight. I had him repeat what the consequences would be (no tv, xbox, AND a spanking since this is the 3rd occurence) and he did, saying he didn't want to lose his tv or xbox time. I explained to him the concept of consequences and just had a long talk about whatever he wanted, and why he didn't want those consequences to happen to him. He still had to go to bed with no movie or 'goodnight snack', but he wasn't crying and seems optimistic that he'll never do it again. Guess we'll see :)

[lindsayd]

Ugh! Glad to know I'm not the only one going through this! But like everyone else, I sure wish there was a "fix" to this issue. My daughter will be 3 in March, we're working on potty training still, she wont go poop on the potty, which I'm not pushing, my other daughter didn't go poop on the potty until right before she turned 4. But the issue with my soon to be 3 year old is peeing and pooping on the floor. Just like everyone else, she knows where the potty seat is and where the bathrooms are but just doesn't use them, she only will if I realize it's been an hour or 2 and I ask her if she has to go, otherwise she just sneaks off and pees or poops on the carpeting, which only make me angry! My whole downstairs living room smells like pee all the time, no matter how much I clean them. I'm at a loss too and just hoping this passes soon. I dont punish her, I just tell her we're not supposed to go potty on the floor and you have to tell mommy when you need to go potty. She says okay, but this has been going on for probably 6 months now. I'm a stay at home mom so they have my attention all the time, I only have 2 kids, my husband works normal hours, there's been no major changes in their lives, so I just can't understand why she chooses to pee & poop on the floor when she knows she's not supposed to. I play with them all the time so I really dont think it's an attention seeking thing. It really just seems like she doesn't feel like taking the time to walk to the bathroom and it's just easier for her to pee where she's standing! It makes you feel like you've done something wrong when you have 2 children that are taking longer than normal to potty train. I know every child is different, but when you're a stay at home mom and spend all your time with your kids, trying to teach them right from wrong, you feel like you must be doing something wrong when they do things like this.

[Serenityfalls]

My daughter would pee on the floor as well. She was 3 at the time  but was already potty trained. She took her pants off  ran into the room and just went infront of me on the living room floor. All of this started just after her father was deported. She was regressing and acting out because, in her eyes, her father left her. Children have a funny way of blaming themselves and at these ages they act out or regress because they don;t know how to communicate their confussion, anger, or pain. Play therapy has helped her and she is doing great now.
Her father is not home yet, like your husband, but I was told that good change is also hard as well to adjust to for young children. I will be taking her back to play therapy, when her Dad returns, to help her adjust.
His father leaving and returning could be causing him to regress and their may be resouces available in your area to help him deal these changes.