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6 year old son taking diapers
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6 year old son taking diapers

About 2 years ago my son was in daycare and we caught him a few times coming home wearing the younger kids diapers, when he was already fully potty trained.  He was taking them from the bathroom at the daycare and putting them on over his underwear.  We spoke with him at that time and he couldn't really explain why he was doing it, but we just figured it was an adjustment problem from going from the younger group to the older group and starting Kindgarten.  Yesterday after swimming lessons, I caught him with another pair of used diapers in his pants.  When I asked him if there where more he through down another pair that he had taken from the garbage in the walk in clinic a few weeks earlier.  He told me he's just putting them under his bed, but lied a few times about where they came from.  I really don't know what to do, as i have never experienced anything like this with my other son, who is now 11.  My 6 year old is also possibly gifted.  His older brother is in the gifted program already and his teacher is telling me my 6 year old is following in the same path.  Very high marks, but is very difficult to deal with and is distracting other children.  If you can please direct me to what to do, as i am at a loss.

Thank you
      
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134578_tn?1383690151
When we had a baby sister (I think I was about 6), my mom  used cloth diapers, and we all thought this was really entertaining, so my friend and I went through a short period where we put on diapers and wore them instead of underwear.  We liked the thickness and support of the diapers, if I recall, and we thought it was funny to wear them.  We didn't think much of it, and our moms never said anything (if they even knew), and we stopped after a while as a natural matter of course when 6-year-olds are playing and get bored with it.  I'm sorry you've already made something of a deal about it with your son, in your shoes I would have tried ignoring it or even supplying some clean ones so he didn't need to fish any out of the garbage.  Whether it's a minor-league 'fetish' of some kind or if he just likes the thickness of the diapers and the reminder of the good old days when he felt like he could just be a kid with no expectations on him, it seems like the fastest way to get him past it is not to comment and to let him do what he wants.  They sell pullups in sizes big enough for a 6-year-old, maybe diapers too, I'd buy a small package of each or of either one, and give them to him, and tell him that if he finds it fun to wear them he can.  He'll probably tire of them after a while.
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Avatar_n_tn
thank you for your feedback, but if it were the first time then yes I would just ignore it, which i did do in the begining when he was 4.  This is the first time in a few years that this has started happening again, to the point of him going through garbage and getting used diapers from doctor's offices and swinning pools.  I feel that by buying diapers or pull ups, would be enabaling him in an obsestion that's not exceptable behaviour.  I've just never heard of children doing this before and am concerned that maybe something is wrong with him and I just wanted to get some other opinions.  
Thank you
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134578_tn?1383690151
I think that if he is getting them out of the garbage, he is going to feel more furtive and worse and get more cemented into his obsession than if you had them available with no comment.  Sometimes the only way out of a habit is to experience it without resistance, not to have to fight for it and plan for it and put a lot of energy into making it happen.  You certainly don't have to believe me, I can see that you don't, but if you think having the diapers available will cause the obsession, it doesn't really explain why he still has it two years later when you haven't been providing them.  I'd talk to a children's therapist about the whole question, he or she will be able to guide you better than some stranger on the Internet who you don't believe anyway.  Good luck!
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Avatar_m_tn
Annie, I can't imagine how frustrated you must be as a parent.  I am 43 now but what you explain could be a story about me or many others in the world.  I took my little brother's cloth diapers and no matter how many times I got caught or tried into my teens to stop I just could not.

I think you have two things you need to consider and will speak from experience.  1.  He will continue to find diapers, and is not object of taking used one, creating what could be a serious health issue, so if he is willing to take used dirty diapers then you getting him clean diapers may be best for his health.  2.  Getting him, and I'm not saying you should, diapers would certainly send him a message that diapers are OK, something that right now he probably believes is not true.  I know that the emotional aspect of diapers being morally wrong played a HUGE roll in the opinion I had of myself, I struggle to this day with that issue.  I know that if any of my children wanted diapers I would provide them, maybe make him pay for them by helping with some household tasks, and or limit him to when and under what circumstances he might be able to wear them.

He is probably not proud of lying to you about what he is doing and the more you remind him that you do not approve the more guilt he will feel about how he feels and why he just can’t shake the feelings he has and the disappointment you have toward him.  It is a matter not much different than what  a parent must do if a child decides they are homosexual, you don’t have to agree, nor love the act, but as a parent feel you must love the child, if he is going to wear diapers then you take some control of it.  I made make shift diapers of towels, and rags with plastic bags with the corners cut out as plastic pants.

I am sorry you are dealing with this but you are not alone as a parent nor is he as a diaper lover.

GOOD LUCK  
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi scaredmom, from the time I was your son's age or younger even, I was fascinated with diapers. I remember as a kid I would watch diaper commercials wishing I had a diaper. I would try to find diapers at church in the nursery and childcare rooms; but never found one. I too as a preteen/teen would take diapers from the trash as I was so drawn to them, but could never find any... I remember when I was probably ten, my grandpa wore diapers at 95 or so, and I almost took a diaper to try on, but I didnt, I was scared to get caught. When i started driving at 15, I would see the adult diapers at the store and finally got enough courage to pick a pack up and take them to the bathroom and I put one on. It was weird, but it felt so soft and comfortable. I put a couple diapers on over the other diaper and used my underwear to hold them in place. I would do this every so often... I put the diapers behind the toilet in the stall and they stayed there for days. Eventually I would start buying after almost getting caught. I would hide them in a bag and sometimes under my mattress. I have done this on and off for years. I would love to go back to when I was 6 years old or even older to try diapers as a kid. I think that if I had the courage to wear diapers as a kid that I might not have these desires anymore. I still wear
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Avatar_m_tn
...diapers from time to time. The main reason is I'm trying to capture my childhood and wonder what it would be like to wear diapers as a kid... If I had, I don't think i would be fascinated with them... I would say let him wear them, experience them so possibly won't take this into his adulthood. If you deny him, I believe there could be worse circumstances, he might go to extremes as he already has to get them. I am a God-fearing man who to this day loves life, I love people, and I sometimes like to wear diapers. God bless you and your son!



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Avatar_m_tn
hi when i was younger i use to ware them now i am 16 and i still do i like them so ask him if he likes them and if he says yes let him ware thm..
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Avatar_f_tn
This behavior is not normal or acceptable. I agree with you about avoiding enabling an obsession. What I found interesting was that older people with this problems responded to your post as if it were normal. Maybe this is some inside on the mindset of what the thought process must be to a certain degree. But I would ***** other behaviors and see a pyschologist. Likely there is an underlying issue.
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Avatar_f_tn
**i would assess other behaviors

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