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7 year old child is out of control
My 7 year old daughter is out of control, she does not listen to what she has been told to do, constantly talking back mimicing me, trying to get her sibling to do stuff that is not right. Lying giving me a hard time about everything, when is told to something she says "NO" or if she is told "NO" that she can't do something then she constantly bugs to do it and has a fit. Takes off in stores, ahe will not do her punishment for mis-behaviour like go to her room after school until dinner. She has no remorse for mis behaving. This has been a battle since she was 2 yrs old. I don't know what to do anymore, she knows what buttons to push to upset me.Does not listen to instructions, if asked to do something she will do the opposite or do what she wants, taking stuff away does not work.She is constantly arguing with me about everything. Please give me some suggestions.

Brig 1975
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i have a 7yr old daughter and her behaviour is getting out of control and i just dont know what to do, she Answers back,mimics what i am saying, she doesnt listen to what i am saying, Attacking a friends youngest 3 kids from the Ages of 2 and 6, she graffitied a neighbous garden wall,she smashes furniture when kicking off, she runs off from me when out shopping, i have tried every trick in the book, i am just at my wits end, i need help
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189897 tn?1441130118
  Does she have the same problems in school?   Did you get complaints from teacher or principal?  Are both parents at home?
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Where to begin... I will start by saying that I have read top to bottom of this discussion; and that what lead me to this page was in fact, seeking confirmation that I am not losing my mind.
I have a 7 year old boy... we'll call...  X and a 3 year old boy... Y  a 27 year old wife... A of course there's me ... B. My family has had many, very similar situations to almost every post here, on this page, and a few unique repeating occurrences of our own. Depending... ha... that's just it... there are so many, variables between X,Y,A, and B cohesively and harmoniously existing; being so complex that there is no "one" particular point, reason, or fix to explain/solve the problem. Why couldn't my name have been Aladdin?  *_*  Okay, so...  well, X has A.D.H.D. there was a time when he did-not-have medication and now he does.   whoop-d-do...   Y, well he likes to copy the behavior...  duh...  Outsiders don't feel the same way about the situation as A and B. Even when outsiders are empathetic or able to show sympathy; the void or lacking of... (the everything will be alright) "reassurance", remains... "What do I do now?" ...   typical...  Don't pretend that A and B on some level reassure one another... no matter what A and B have communicated... it's quite the opposite, try to be understanding that A and B got into this mess together... derp...  This... personal "What do I do now?" this "Help Me" feeling only results in friction between A and B, more friction between X and B, and of course X and A, where is Y in all this... well, wouldn't you know... coping what is most similar to himself. The cycle goes on folding in on itself. This is a common scenario in not only modern but past families, separated or not, however more so today than yesteryear.
Now you take the following however you wish. A.D.H.D. well... just take a magic pill and everything will be okay... ha! ha! ha!... I am not putting off an "awe phooey" there is and has been a professional diagnosis of A.D.H.D. regarding my son X, but with an open mind understand 1. Therapy and 2. Medication is the leading recommended plan of treatment for persons diagnosed with A.D.H.D. . For those readers that don't know... A.D.H.D. is one of the most common childhood disorders, yet confusion about its causes and implications dumbfound researchers. Conventional wisdom says that children displaying symptoms of A.D.H.D. "are likely" less intelligent than children of the same age that are not diagnosed with A.D.H.D., however "modern research studies" of persons diagnosed with A.D.H.D. although having impaired social and interpersonal relationships and pose serious challenges to academic achievement; "have above average I.Q." ... if you didn't now you know... and knowing is half the battle...  lol...   I stand by my previous statement there is no "one" rhyme or reason of why so many families have a child "so similar" to my 7 year old boy X, but it only takes one word to tell you whats wrong... EXPOSURE.  That's right exposure... from discussions/arguments being overheard, things seen in/out of home, media, and the worst thing of all at any age, the reassurance collectively, (be it body language, actions, or the expressed thoughts)  from the majority of their peers that what they are feeling is normal. Think what you will, but I am not saying burn down "the house" or completely isolate your child. I am saying that knowing... as above mentioned... persons having impaired social and "interpersonal relationships"  will not process information in a like manor as those without the impediment. Therapy of course, that's the answer right... nope... but, coupled with a better understanding, and a butt-load of patience it's a real good place to start.
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Can you share an update now that your child is a little older?
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I know this is many years later but I have the same issue my daughter doesn't want to visit me anymore myself and her father share custody 50/50.. she would rather spend time with my exhusbands girlfriend then with her own mother...my heart is just breaking.
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OMG!!! We are in the same boat it seemed like I was reading about my daughter; she is 7 years old. I do not know what to do anymore. I'm at my whit's end. I have considered just giving up. I am also having her evaluated for ADHD. I mean your story from start to finish about your daughter is so identical to mine. The part about her crying in the car as a baby! OMG! I'm so lost. Please let's help each other seriously! I read everyone else post but none touched me like yours. I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing, but I understand your frustrations.
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The only thing that made our toddler son pause was the belt.. he was 2!!!! so hard. Now i am a gma of my 2nd unreasonable 7 yr old grandchild. it seems to run in the family... both of my kids and now 2 of my grands. I am too old for this. lol, i have been through it already... our daughter died 4 years ago and her 2 boys are sooo much like her... but worse at an earlier age.
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Thank you for your message, im here for the same reasons and you made me cry... I am guilty of screaming and saying things when i totally lose it with my difficult son, and then have the deepest regrets. Your message will stay with me to remind me of what i should and shouldn't do.
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You cannot imagine how much i empathise... This is a late reply and i don't know if you will ever see this, but i have an 8.5 year old son who is exaclty like this... It started a couple of years ago and you said sth that clicked with me that's why i felt the need to reply.

You said some kids are just too smart and need to be treated like little adults, and thinking about it i agree! It makes me really sad that i don't know what to do and how to handle him, and it is getting worse. I also have a 5 year old boy who is nothing like that. It goes to show that it is not only the environment they grow up in.

The cherry on top of the cake was when i realized he watched sex-related videos on youtube, which after browsing the history, to be fair and truthful, only was led to those videos by some silly ones with football and pranks, but led him to curiosity to click on more, which he did.... He repeated a search by himself a few days afterwards. I watched every single one of them to see what he saw, and thank God they were at least not what i would say pornographic, but still had full sex scenes, foul language and everything. I set up Safety Mode now (unfortunately a bit too late) and will definitely keep a close look.  I haven't slept for 4 nights and i am so stressed out about this, because i feel like he has lost his innocence very suddenly and too quickly. It just breaks my heart.

There is also a very relative term that describes these children: EMOTIONAL DEFIANT DISORDER, if you google and read signs it will make you cry because of how similar to your child they might be. There are recommended books on the subject which i am planning to read.

By the way my son is a well behaved boy in school and very sociable, it's only at home that he is like this.  I will also visit a child therapist next week for the first time for advice.  Any advice here would be appreciated too! I hope it worked out for you and your daughter, and you are definitely not alone. It seems that we are raising children in difficult times, that's my own conclusion...
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My apologies the correct term is *Oppositional* Defiant Disorder not *Emotional*
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12609052 tn?1426223010
I got to the hating my own child part today!!
I love my child, but I have a mental disability and he knows how to push me to my braking point!!
I know if this keeps going I or he will end up hurt!!
PLEASE, SOMEONE  HELP!?!?!?
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Well, the simple answer is don't let him push you.   Knowing how old he is would be helpful in giving you ways to deal with him.   But until then I suggest you get the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.   It will really help you.  Amazon has it.
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Well to start me and my bf have been together a little over a year. we live together and he has a daughter(4) and I have a daughter(3) and a son(10m). Im at my ends wit to the point id say I hate his child. She beats up on my daughter and has committed horrible sexual acts twd her forcefully. She has also shook my baby boy and shoved his head around when were not looking. She goes out in front of other people and everyone thinks shes so great and I quote "shes a angel' pishh...ya ok. ive told her father she needs a therapist help and he refuses to take her saying he doesn't like them. She also treats me like dirt and when I disapline her she laughs in my face and says she does what she wants...I seriously think shes possessed...im scared to be in my home with her. She constantly is zonig out into space when ur talking to her. Shes told me she hates me and my kids. im to the point I feel I need to leave. Everyone thinks im crazy but tey don't see it. I don't know what to do anymore.
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189897 tn?1441130118
     We have seen kind of similar things before when newborns are introduced into a house where the other child had been the sole attention getter.   This is even a worse situation for the 4 year old because virtually everything is new.  This does not excuse her behavior, but it does explain a lot of it.
     First, she probably really needs some more attention focused on her ( as much as it might hurt you).  One thing that might really help is to help her learn how to deal with anger.  Most kids of this age do not.   There is a wonderful set of books that really may help. I would look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced.  Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger.  You do not try and use these techniques while she is being bad.  But once she stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here -  http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5
    The other positive is that since these books are meant to be read aloud - it can be a special time between you and her just before she goes to bed.  And you will also find listed on the same amazon page - books like "hands are not for hitting", etc.  which also might be a good idea.
     The final thing is that you and your BF need to get on the same page as to discipline.  This is super important.   Get the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.   And follow it.  It will help you and your BF a lot.
Good luck!
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sorry, I know you wrote this many years ago but I am currently having the same problem with my son. I am wondering did anything you do help with the behaviors you explained. I am holding on  to my sanity by threads.When I read your post it sounded like my son.  Thank you
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My 9 year old nephew is getting progressively worse.  He started by just throwing fits when he didn't get his way to now verbally and physically assaulting anyone who angers him.  For example the other day, his mom told him no about something and he got angry and started to turn the couch over (with me on it btw), I immediately reacted and told him to calm down, this didn't work.  He then started cussing at me calling me all kinds of names and stating that he wished I were dead, etc.  I mishandled the situation by pouring about 4oz of cold water on him to try to cool him off and he just saw red.  He came after me with a vengeance.  I have bruises from the attack.   His father had to put him in a headlock to get him to stop.  The headlock lasted about 5 minutes and when he was released he immediately ran and got a butcher knife.  I don't know what to do.  I am almost afraid to even visit them.  

He can be as good as gold most of the time, he even will say sorry immediately after he calms down.  His mother keeps telling him that sorry didn't do it.  Nothing seems to work.  Taking things away, spanking, grounding, etc.  

I have suggested inpatient counseling as the at home therapy doesn't seem to be helping.  He constantly says he wants to kill himself or others.  He is only 9 but weighs about 160 lbs. My fear is that by the time he is 15-16 he will end up in juvenile hall, or the pen or dead If something doesn't change.  My sister states she is worried about the inpatient counseling as she has heard it could make things worse.  I told her that I don't see how it can get much worse without something seriously wrong happening.
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Thanks for that!  I can relate, it seems like not too many people acknowledge the single parenting thing...its a whole different ballgame.
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When you are picking her up from school,sometime in the next week, stop the car and drop her off somewhere in the neighborhood about a 30 minute walk to your houseand leave her there until you get home. Take some time to relax and have some alone time. Then you can come back later and get her. This only works when you are really steaming and angry. It's wort a shot
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You said your kid has ADHD? Try Quilivant XR
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189897 tn?1441130118
   And if somebody calls protective services about an abandoned little girl, you will be in a world of trouble.  A really bad idea for several reasons.
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That is terrible!  Think about what you teach a child with a whipping?  You teach the child that the way to handle conflict is through physical beating. That will be a child that is taught to fight physically whenever there is conflict with another child.  not good
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That sounds horrible!  Oh, you think it is Ok to inflict pain on your child because it is controlled?  And what happens when you reach the point where you are out of control?
You are teaching your child that the way to handle conflict is through infliction of pain......when your child has a conflict with another child?  bloody noses here we come.
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wow reading all of these have just put my mind at rest that im not the only one...... my 7yr old son has pushed me to the absolut limits.... have professionals involved but no help, we have violent outburst, disruptive outburst (having to replace a wall!!!) he is sly and devious, gets frustrated and angry so quicky, punishments dont work, rewards dont work, it seems he doesnt seem to care what he doing and what the consiquences will be, he also has OCD traits.....he is doing so well at school and is a different child there..... i have an appointment with our family doctor as this has been steadily getting worse since the age of 2 yrs old and i cannot keep on being told im a bad parent and i should teach my child a lesson.... i have 3 kids and he is the middle one and the only one with these issues
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I, too have a 6 year old son who has been out of control for about 2 years - off and on. He hits me, talks back, has temper tantrums, follows me grasping at my clothes or body if I step away from, throws toys, and lies to get what he wants. At school he would hit kids and teachers, refuse to participate and once ran off school property.

My husband and I are together after 12 years, I am educated, and I have an older boy of 9 who has never caused these issues.

You aren't going to like this, but I found my answer.

He'd stopped hitting me for about a year but when he began doing so again I felt I had no choice. I took his hands, knelt to his level, and told him if he did it again I would spank him. He did it again. I sighed, took his hand, had to drag him to his room and holding him sat on his bed and told him "I told you that if you hit me I would spank you. And you hit me so I have no choice." And i spanked him 3 times on his clothed butt. He screamed, and hit me again and again. I repeated my warning and spanking until he stopped hitting AND stopped talking back. I simply refused to stop until he showed me respect. And I was calm the ENTIRE time. Showing no anger showed him he had NO control over me.After the 3rd time I sighed and calmly said "we can do this all night". He angrily rolled around on the bed -but was clearly trying to stop himself from talking back! For the first time I'd ever seen he was trying to control his anger! I encouraged him saying "that's right, good. i know it's hard to control your feelings and your words but you can do it!" He didn't look happy but slowly calmed down. I told him I would step out of his room to give him time to calm down more. WHen I came back we talked and I told him that I was no longer tolerating being hit or talked back to and he now knew the consequences. I had a much briefer similar incident one week later. And about once a month I might have to spank but only once and he calms much faster and usually without spanking anymore.

I had refused to spank for years. And my 9 yr old never needed it - so I understand why some people believe it's not necessary. But they are wrong. I now firmly believe that  - for some children  - it is necessary.

I know others will berate me but until they take my child for a week, their opinion is based on no knowledge of MY child.

Parents: take back control. Be calm. Be clear. But dont be disrespected. What will you do when your 16 yr old hits you?
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Spanking should NEVER be done when a parent is yelling or expressing anger. It won't work. Only if you are calm does it work. The kid realizes that their behaviour isn't controlling your emotions and that you have calmly decided their behaviour merits a spanking. THAT gets their attention.
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189897 tn?1441130118
   You might also work on giving him other ways to express himself.  
      The book "Hands are not for Hitting", or "When I fee angry" are aimed at this age group.  They are meant to be read to them.  They give you common ground for discussions, and things to practice.   They can be found here -   http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575420775
      And the problem with spanking (among other things) is that it is something that you hesitate to use.   Yet, to change a childs behavior, you need immediate action and consistent action.  Usually, (hopefully) this can not be done with spanking.   Buy the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  It will give you a system that will work.
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Hi. I know this was about 5 years ago so not sure how you have gotten on with your son but have you considered having him assessed by a professional? A lot of the behaviours expressed here on this forum are pointing to possible disorders like oppositional defiance disorder. It's best to get your child assessed to rule out any possible mental, behavioural or personality disorder. Good luck.
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189897 tn?1441130118
   There are several reasons why spanking does not work for many kids - and you have found one.
   You didn't mention his age and how you deal with discipline is somewhat dependent on age.
   but, without knowing more - a book I recommend a lot is - "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark  
   It will help!
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I'm the grandmother and it's harder to be me and watch my son try to handle his 7 yr old daughter when she's being rude and out of control. I see from an outsider that the child stays up too late on school nights and then she will not stop her bad behavior and people give in rather than deal with her acting poorly. So she gets her way that way.  She has all the grown ups trained to give her what she wants. It's ruining her.  Whatever you parents do, if it's not working stop doing it.  Time to figure out what will work.
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I read your post and it struck a cord with me.  My son is currently 7 and he's not on medication but has similar outbursts, along with his caring/awesome side.  I was wondering what you have done over the past few years to help your child?  Looking for some advice right now (my son is beginning to amp up the tantrums and volatility, especially at school).  Thanks for taking the time to read my post. Best, Nicole
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Boy, lots of posts on this page.  Check out my post on Mar 26, 2015 and Nov. 15, 2015.  I recommend some books and ideas that I think you will find helpful.   If I can be more specific, please ask.
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My son is 7 turning 8 this year. He started showing signs of complete disobedience and disregard for others feelings as soon as he started kindergarten. I am at my wits end trying to figure out a way to get through to him. He is very silly and bounces off of furniture, yells and says obnoxious things, doesn't do what he is told, goes from happy to emotional in a blink, repeats the words poo poo over and over or other random immature words, he doesn't make friends at school easilly, but is very well liked. He can't seem to grasp friendships and feels left out all the time as he takes things the other children say too personally and feels like his world is over. For years I've been struggling with him and his bed time and I've tried everything possible  to avoid arguments.  I don't spank him but his father does. His father and I are separated for 4 years now and my son listens to his Dad more since he introduced spankings. I'm sure tempted to try this but I don't know if I am sold on the idea yet. My days are some times so terrible as I get calls at work to come get him from school as he gets into altercations and will hit or say something totally inappropriate. I had him taken to see a professional and he was diagnosed with AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER, ODD, ADHD combined type, mild echolalia OCD and I think that about covers it. On the plus side the school can no longer remove him or suspend him from school as they had been since Grade 1. Instead they have to work with him like they should have been since day one. The school system let me down by suspending him 4 times for his behaviour and he is only on grade 2. Now he doesn't even want to be in school. I'm on a waiting list for free therapy and our journey has just begun. HaNg in there fellow parents as boys especially get better as they get older and mature. I do not believe my son as autism spectrum disorder ax he seems completely normal when he is not acting up, however, I will not challenge the diagnosis now as its the only thing keeping him in school and me from losing my job as I was haVing to leave all the time. The schools need to work with our children and become more aware, not teach our kids that it's okay to act up as if means you get to miss school. I think that schools need to place more focus on friendship building, conflict resolution early on to build more healthy self esteems in our children. They spend most of their time there in the classroom and its time they taught something practical. I'm going outo oF my mind but I hope soon to find answers for my boy.
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i know  a 5yr old boy black so out of control i am afraid he will take a life one day... he already  is punching  his mom and says i hate you,hits other kids in the face and beats on house pets.with  no remorse does not respond to punishment every he does real bad things  at least 20 times a day..NOTHING HELPS    PLEASE HELP THIS SINGLE MOM
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189897 tn?1441130118
   If you had posted this on the ADHD forum here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175 - I would have answered sooner.
    Wow, I feel for you.  All you apparently have gotten ( a few years too late) is a diagnosis and a wait time for therapy for him.  Well, and the school can't suspend him any more.  Of course, one thing to think about is if the school hadn't been suspending him - would you have gone for the professional recommendation?  Its kind of a common practice to make parents get more involved.
    Anyway, you need lots of information.
    First, don't try the spanking.  It won't work and he will hate you for it because it won't work.  He can't control what he is doing.
     He has ADHD.  Most of the other stuff is because of the ADHD.  You need to find out all you can about ADHD.  This is a good starting point and it has other good resources.     http://www.chadd.org/Understanding-ADHD/About-ADHD.aspx
      In terms of how you work with him - check out these links - http://www.additudemag.com/topic/parenting-adhd-children/behavior-discipline.html
       And, you cannot just sit around and wait for therapy.  These links will help you at home.  Nor can you count on the school to do it all for you - they can't.
        Sooner or later, you will have to address the medication aspect.  It will make life easier if done correctly.   This is a really good link giving the pros and cons of that.   http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/181/index.html?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=march
      Finally, I need to say because I have answered thousands of posts, and have been in the public school system for years and years and years.  When you say - "The schools need to work with our children and become more aware, not teach our kids that it's okay to act up as if means you get to miss school."   You are missing the whole point of ADHD.   He is acting up because he has no control over what he is doing.  Once you figure that out, then you will be able to help him.  If you persist in thinking that he has control and something like spanking him will change him- I know what will happen and you don't want to find out.
    I hope this helps you.  I will be glad to answer any questions you have (I am much cheaper then any professional) on this site or on the ADHD site.  Best wishes!!!
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Kind of hard to help her if she does not post here.  You might try suggesting that she buy this book - "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark.  
    Also, once the child enters the public school system - she should be offered help.
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This may sound like I don't understand your problems, but I most certainly do. Stop the smacking, it makes things worse. Each time your child does do something well no matter how small, praise the effort. When there is unwanted behaviour, make it known that this is unacceptable and that, for example: he won't be doing say: his PlayStation and that it is going to be taken away until he can show you he can be good. Picture Plans are sometimes helpful to children with difficulties as you describe, when the child can see what they are expected to do, they have a better understanding. These efforts do not work right away nor do they work if you don't keep them up and everyone involved with the child, needs to be doing and saying the same things, this gives a clear message to the child that his present behaviour is unacceptable. Has there been any assessments done for ADHD / Aspergers/ Autism/Dyslexia????? These can all have an effect on behaviour. Good luck! Its hard work finding a solution but your child will not respond to smacking, hitting or anything else of this nature. It increases the bad behaviour, is meaningless to the child and actually does do harm even if you are not aware of this. Striking a child is NEVER OK, this is abuse!
Good luck.
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Our 7 year old daughter does all of these same thing! You cannot blame it on adhd and other medical reasons. I had adhd my entire life and you do have some control over it. These doctors use these diagnosis as a way to reach in your checkbook. Adhd only can be controled when the person with it learns and wants to control it. A child as young as 5 years old knows when they are good or bad. They will manipulate and use these disorders as a crutch. How many parents say "its not his/her fault its adhd"! You have to cut out sugars and candys almost completly suger does trigger adhd and makes it almost completly impossible to control. We learned isolation is the best weapon to fight this disorder. Without the attention they want they will stop the behavior. It will be hard at first they will fight it but you must be strong dont give. Up good luck
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189897 tn?1441130118
To adhdman,
   Yes, it is possible (to a certain extent) to learn how to control your ADHD.  That is why behavioral therapy by a specialist is recommended.  However, to expect a 7 year old to do what an adult has trouble doing, is bothering to me.  All isolation is going to do is to make your child depressed and anxiety ridden.  Please take the time to find out how to help her.  You are really sending her down a very rocky road with apparently very little help.
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My 7 year old son has ADHA he was in vyvance but it made me like a zombie he did wonderful in school and on home work and sports but I choose to take him off because of the zombie effect I made him have he is child and he should enjoy life not be druged but now that he is off he is almost out of control at school and getting sent to the office pushing kids breaking penciles throwing a fit when he don't get what he wants  what should I do about this
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OMG!! YES!!!! This is my life! I love my daughter, but hate her.... sad. I cry everyday. I do not know what to do. I really wish someone would answer and help!!! I see everyone's stories, but no real feedback! :/
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My daughter has just turned into this over night since going back to school, I am so exhausted with it and upset.  She was so good how can everything go so wrong x
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Did you get help? I keep seeing stories, but what do we do? I am ready to give her away!!! Like seriously! she is 9 now, my son is 24, he never acted this way! I do not want this child in my home another day! WHAT DO WE DO????? UGH
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Hello, have things improved for you? I have some suggestions if not.
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Hello, have things improved for you? I have some suggestions if not.
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189897 tn?1441130118
  I heard you and I replied.  Check out your post.  And thanks for all the info, I can tell you really care.
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Honey I am in the same boat as you. My son is 7 years old. When  he entered kindergarten he was fine. No complaints.  All started last year mid way through the year (December) his teacher started writing notes saying she had a few misbehaved children in her class and he was starting to follow their bahaviors. By the end of the year I endured HELL. Every day telephone calls where my stomach would turn just seeing the number come up on my phone. He left class one time without permission from the teacher to go to the computer room and she grabbed him by the arm and left scratch marks on him. To so many meetings that I care to even discuss. I blamed a lot on the teacher because she wasn't the nicest teacher. He was suspended countless times and in the time out room almost every day. Could not attend school functions because of his behavior. I was at my witts end and ready to quit my job and look into home schooling him. THANK GOD it was summer and he was out of school (as he is NOT a bad child when he is at home) hmmmmm . This year I hoped for a better year and knew when I found out who his teacher was that if there were problems in school this year it couldn't be blamed on her (as all 4 of my other children had her and she is a very nice teacher) phew 1st week goes by and he claims he likes his teacher and NO PHONE CALLS.... woo hoo..... yesterday start of 2nd week of school, the phone calls began with a voice message from his teacher stating that he has not listened the days he has been there. All last week when we asked how his day was he literally lied to us and told us it was good. Here we go again... ANOTHER year like last!!!! :(  He has been going under his desk when he is told to do something and doesn't want to... he was in the bathroom and smeared soap all over the mirror... well today he is in the time out room for it.I guess I was hoping and praying that he would "grow" out of it. It seems like they just want me to throw him on medication which I am so against. I am lost and just don't know what else to do. Just know that it is not just your child and if you find something that helps PLEASE share with me !!!!
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Omg u just described last school year and the one that just started. How is your child doing? Have u had any luck? If u did please share. Its extremely frustrating, i feel nobody understands what im going through. I cry daily.
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Consistency is super important in this type of situation. Set a punishment and stick to it. If she has a meltdown send her to her room and refuse to listen to her fits. If she refuses to go to her room pick her up and put her in there, and if she leaves put her back till she stays. My husband and I had similar issues with my stepdaughter and this has worked for us. But consistency is definitely most important. If you slack on that she'll never know when you're actually serious and when she can push back to get out of something.
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My 6 year old son is exactly the same. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and is currently being assessed for Aspergers. I have done parenting course after parenting course including 123 Magic so I can better help my son, but to no avail. He has been excluded from school twice for lashing out and is currently excluded. The school are going to be holding a meeting with all different teacher, Ed Pshch, therapist etc to decide if he can return. I am seriously on the edge with it all. All I try and do is support and help my son and in return I get punched, kicked, bitten, things thrown at me this is also directed at my 4 year old daughter too. I really do know how you feel. I am constantly using 123 Magic on my son, plus lots of praise (although at times this is hard to do, especially if he has been violent toward me) I try to stick with the same discipline and I try very hard to keep the boundarys in place. All this is so hard to do though whilst he's mood is so aggressive and violent.
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Shes only seven, so of course shes going to misbehave,treating her like an abused dog will not make her feel any better, instead ognor the bad, just set her in her room or put her nose against the wall and praise her good moments, shes probably does not respect you because it show no control.. show her how to behave instead of teller her, give her more affection hugs kisses and love. Some kids just need more attention, outside actives and sports will help expelled extra energy..
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You apparently dont have a child that acts this way. It is not a lack of love or direction.  I have three kids and only one that behaves this way to a point of pure exhaustion. It is ruining our family. She has been acting this way since she was born and is now seven. She has tons of friends. People love her. She plays soccer, does gymnastics, plays softball, plays basketball, does Girl Scouts and takes religious education classes. She is just is out of control at home. To say just put her in her room.. that isnt even easy..she screams non stop. You would think there is a bigger mental issue but there is not. Sadly I wish there was a bigger issue so I could fix it. This is just her personality and we are trying to find ways to deal with it.
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It sounds like she is really quite advanced for her age. It could be that she is bored. It is a very simplified term for an acutely quite difficult problem. Is she being stretched enough, both physically and mentally.

I would strongly suggest some therapy in regards to the sexual experimentation. Some positive ground rules need setting about privacy and personal space. There are some really well qualified councillors out there that do this sort of thing for a living. Talk to your GP about it. I think therapy would be good for her anyway.

When she is at home, try keeping her engaged in activities that you may at first think are far to advanced for her years. I'm not taking films for 15 year olds. I'm thinking more like jigsaw puzzles for 12 year olds. Get her books that push her reading comprehension. Make her work for everything she does. If she is interested in lego, get her mechano. If she likes sports, up the difficulty level and stamina needed. Make her super busy all the time. Honestly, make sure she never has free time again, but also make sure all these activities are things she would like to do as they are not punishment. At the end of the day she should be crawling in to her bed and collapsing with exhaustion.

The big one that I have seen work well with aggressive and badly behaved children is martial arts. Make sure you get her into serious classes and not the small child version. She needs to seriously learn. I know it feels counter intuitive, but they learn tremendous discipline. They also learn what controlled violence means and they suddenly start to respect people bigger than them because they learn just how much damage the wrong person could do. They channel all their anger and rage in a very productive way and they get taught very quickly that the ONLY place the can ever be violent is at the classes or they get banned. It's brilliant for kids and would 100% recommend it for badly behaved kids. It also helps if the instructor is a large and intimidating. They could be sweetest man/woman alive, but it gets things off on the right foot.

Combine martial arts with team games, like rugby, football and holly ball. Sailing if your budget can stretch is also very good for learning how to behave within a team. Your daughter needs to learn that you family is a team and if she can learn how a team works through her friends, it is easier to apply to the home. I used to skipper yachts and whist on board everyone did their turn at every job and I apply the same rules to my home. Even if the kid if 5 and needs help to cook the supper once a week, they will still have to take their turn. You may eat beans and toast a lot, but as they get older they will expand. It makes them feel as though they have some control, but also some responsibility within your family team.

I could go on for years about this stuff. My partner and I both used to work with troubled and disabled teens. Rule one was always make sure they are stretched to capacity at all times. Down time was something earnt. Most of the time once they get into fairly strict routines where 98% of their day was accounted for, things dramatically improved. Kids thrive on structure just as most adults do. Make a day calendar and fill it for her so that her whole day is accounted for. Get her a watch so that she can monitor her own progress through out the day, ticking things off as she goes. Makes sure you also have a solid reward system and stick to your guns. Do not negotiate with terrorists! Good luck!
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Have her psychologically evaluated for ODD/ADHD.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder
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Hello, my seven year old daughter is THE EXACT SAME WAY and worse! Some dark evilness lurks in MINE I SWEAR!!!; and I'm trying to find a behavioral center that will ovserce , ***** and treat her before I lose it and hurt her, and or myself.... If I can't get us help I HAVE TO WALK AWAY AND FIND HER AN ADOPTIVE FAMILY because I'm a single parent with only two eyes and she an only child with ADHD and ODD needs more than just two eyes watching her....I'm AT THE END OF OF MY ROPE
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Same situation right now with my daughter who is 7. We literally look forward to the weekends she is away at her dads. Where she does not act or treat them this way. I have lost hope!! I am packing her up to go live with her father for a while. I cant take it anymore...
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No remorse sounds serious. You need to get her in with a Child psychiatrist!  ASAP!!!!!
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189897 tn?1441130118
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San Pedro, CA