8 year old brother with outrageous and random behaviors.

[MissLizzy]

Hello.

I am 25 and have an 8 year old brother.  (I do not live with him but visit periodically, so he is raised almost as though he is an only child). He is the only boy in the family, the first to be homeschooled, and his life is very structured, quiet and predictable.

I come to visit every so often and am disturbed more and more at his behaviors.  There are times that he will scream, cry and tell my mother that he hates her if he gets an answer wrong, or is not able to do what he wants.  He very rarely takes losing well.  He will not play with a toy, or play a game, if he does not understand it or thinks that he might do it 'wrong'.  He has breakdowns if things do not go exactly as planned.  He plays soccer but takes no interest in it. Other than his very close friends, he was completely estranged from the other children, did not engage with them at all, etc.  

He just fell down the stairs ( I am sure it hurt), but his reactions just seem so off base.  He cried, than began to scream, and when I went upstairs to make sure nothing was broken he refused to talk to me and screamed at the top of his lungs until I stopped making eye contact. His ability to be rational in any situation seems little to none.  If a show is not on at the right time, if he breaks a toy, if he is not allowed to watch a movie at just the right  time, than he will scream and shout and appear extremely emotionally disturbed.

He is way above all levels in school, especially with reading and math.  When he is in a good space he is very communicable and affectionate.  Also, he is extremely practical in everything he does in life.

At first, I thought that maybe because my parents were less disciplined with him, that perhaps he was using his behaviors to manipulate them.  ...  Part of me thinks perhaps he should be spanked as much as I was, but now I am not so sure.

Sorry that this is so long, but doesnt anyone have any input?

Thanks!
-Lizzy

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Whenever there is a family history of biologically-based mental or emotional disorders, such as mood disorders or anxiety, it places members of the family in an at-risk category for displaying a similar condition. So, it would be one factor to weigh if your brother undergoes an evaluation, and it would be an additional reason to seek the evaluation.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It may be that your brother dispays limited frustration tolerance due to having been 'spoiled', if you will, and not having learned to deal with limits. It might also be that he displays some emotional disturbance. The only way to figure this out is through an evaluation with a pediatric mental health or behavioral health clinician. The clinician can also guide your parents in how to manage the situation.

[MissLizzy]

Yes, I thought perhaps it was due to being spoiled.  My only concern is that I had high anxiety as a child also.  I developed OCD, which was not recognized until I was 14 and already recieving treatment.  I also developed severe and chronic anorexia nervosa at age 12.  I am since in recovery, but am wondering if genes play a part.  It is hard to tell since I had factors in my life (early childhood trauma, different parenting, etc) that he does not.  My parents are extremely religious, and I highly doubt that they will take him to a specialist.  Do you have any other viewpoints with that extra info?  Thank you so very much for you time.