Another late night

I like any other Mother love my child to no end. She is a smart, beautiful,creative girl and until recently has been an absolute gem. (Recently being over the past 6 to 8 months) She was three years old the end of June.

To give a little history, her father and I split a year ago this past October. We live in an apartment with her 10 year old sister and the girls go to their fathers once a week and every other weekend. She in on daycare number 10 or 11 and sadly the only really consistent thing in her life at the moment is that she knows her sister is always there. Her Father and I are there too of course when the girls are with us at our houses but because they go back and forth even that's inconsistent.

The reason for multiple daycares is that either I realized I had made a bad decision on the home provider or heard too many complaints that she is "too busy". What three year old isn't? I now have her in a daycare centre and find she is doing much better than she was in home daycare. She is much busier than my older child and I think the constant stimulation works better for her.

Her behaviours began at the last home daycare she was in. The woman who had her had an 8 or 9 year old son who was in school full time and a 4 year old daughter who was there all day with my daughter. At first the arrangement was going very well but then I started to notice very negative behaviours from my daughter. She would have tantrums where she would yell "no" (to describe it best she sounded like someone might if they were immitating what a monster or the devil would sound like in a very low deep voice), she would kick and scream and cry uncontrolably. To the point where it was almost like something had switched and she didn't know how to bring herself  back or to calm herself down. That daycare arrangement ended quickly and she was with a friend of mine until she could get into this daycare centre. Immediately her behaviour did a 360 from the day she started with my friend. I'm not sure what went on in that house to make her change so drastically but the best decision ever was to get her out of there.

She's been doing well for the past 4 or so months. I really think she's enjoying the consistency of the daycare. Recently however I've noticed some of her tantrums coming back although not as severe. They are brought on I believe because she is so over tired. I cannot get this child to sleep at night! Four out of five nights this week she was up until midnight! She has a nap during the day (no more than an hour) and the centre has said they cannot make her stay awake. They've promised to put her to bed last and wake her up first but because there are other children sleeping they can't make her stay awake. I've tried everything to make her go to sleep. We have a nice bath, read books all snuggled up in bed, sing songs and then I kiss her goodnight and tell her I love her. That is the start of a 3 to 4 hour battle, if not longer. I try to be stern, I try saying nothing but goodnight and putting her back to bed, I try cuddling with her. It doesn't matter what I do she won't sleep. Because of this of course she has negative behaviours during the day. If I can get her to sleep she's an angle, otherwise these tantrums and not listening. It's almost like there's no intimidation, fear, or anything of the sort in this child towards me. She does not respond to anything I do or say and doesn't look as though she feels she's in trouble no matter how stern a "mommy voice" and face I use.  She isn't grumpy when she's up until midnight (until I drag her out of bed in the morning of course) she just lies there and sings songs or talks to her self.

I am desperate for some tips on getting her to sleep. I feel as though she's a three year old insomniac! I don't know what else to try. I know consistency is key but I feel like I never get anywhere even if I try the same thing for weeks.  We aren't the only split family in the world and I can't imagine there's no way to make this work. Please help!  A large part of her recent behaviours is just from being over tired. If I can conqure this I can work on the rest!

I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

Sincerely,
Tired.

[Pum]

It really does sound like she doesn't need the daytime sleep. Does the daycare have older children who don't sleep? Does she have sleeps at the weekend when she's with you?

I think all children go through a ratty phase when they are dropping a sleep. They almost still need one but don't.

Does she get lots of fresh air and running around to tire her out?