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Is my child a sociopath?
My son is 10 years old and for as long as I can remember we have been having issues with his behavior.  In the beginning it was stealing little things like snack cakes and pens off my desk and it progressed to stealing bigger things like my husbands watch.  Added to this he lies almost constantly, sneaks around and is always making up stories to see if he can trick someone into believing him.  We took all of that in stride and tried to believe that he was a normal child with behavior problems. We tried postive and negative reinforcement, time-outs, grounding, taking things away and just about everything else at one time or another.  We even moved to another state to give him a new start in a new school, with new friends and in a house with his own room instead of in a tiny apartment but things just got worse and worse.  

Last year he was having problems in school and nearly failed. He has already taken first grade twice and second grade twice and he nearly had to take second grade for a third time because he didnt want to do the work. Not because he can't or because he is distracted but because he thinks his teachers are too stupid to teach him anything. This year he has been better but I think it is because he has tricked the teacher into giving him most of the answers on his work and making things very easy on him because he is so small and she feels that he is being mistreated at home.  They even called child services because of the stories that he told them.

We also found out that he has been peeing in his room. At first he was peeing on the clothes in his laundry basket and then he began peeing in the corners and in his clothes depending on how badly the need was. His reason for this is alternately that he is trying to teach me a lesson and that I should let him wander the house and do whatever he wants and that it is his room and he should be allowed to do anything he wants in there even pee.

When we realized that he was peeing in his room we took him to a mental hospital for inpatient treatment and they kept him for 8 days before releasing him.  I was told that they could not keep him there because he was not a danger to anyone and besides he promised not to pee and would follow all the rules ect.  That only lasted a few hours after he got home and he was peeing again.  We moved him out of his room and into the living room so that he wouldnt have the opportunity to do it anymore and we thought that was the end of that until he tried to starve our ferrets by pretending to feed them but not actually doing it.  His reason was that he was tired of them and wanted to see how long it would take them to die.  I sat him down to talk about this and he told me that he was also planning to kill the cat, myself and my 10 month old because he was also tired of us.  I took him back to the mental hospital where they kept him for 24 days with absolutely no improvement.  This time they released him because he said that he no longer planned to kill anyone and was all better.  The couselor suggested that I send him to a boys camp because even though he said he was better and they were sending him home they did not feel that he was really better.

So here we are trying to decide what we should do with our son.  He is 10 years old and the size of an 8 year old, has mild Cerebral palsy and needs shots in order to grow.  If I send him to this camp he will not get the chance to grow normally and wont get all the treatment for his CP. Neither of which will matter if he doesnt get the mental help he needs.  I hate the idea of sending my son away because I am his mother and feel that I should be the best thing for him.  The problem is that he wants to kill me and thinks that it is okay if he does.  He does not express remorse for anything that he has done and never has, is extremely maniputlative and is not affected by punishments or consequences of any kind because he feels that they are only temporary and do not matter.  I am nearly convinced that he is a sociopath but he is SO manipulative that the doctors havent been able to see the real child and instead see the fake one that he is so good at portraying.  What can I do in this situation?
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189897 tn?1441130118
      The group home should have contacts to get him evaluated by a psychiatrist.  If not, that is what you need to do.  This is not something for the police.  He needs medical help, and I mean the type that a psychiatrist offers.
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We have a 15 y/o (almost 16) daughter that has done nothing but terrorize us for the past 8 years. We've only ever gotten ONE doctor to diagnose her as a psychopath/sociopath and no one else is wanting to believe the diagnoses. The early signs were there, we just didn't know to look for them. The lying, stealing, threatening and those cold, emotionless eyes. She has physically assaulted both my husband (her step-father) and I, me more then him since she knows she's not a match for him. She figured out in 1st grade that she could tell lies about us and get DCF/CPS involved and buried in our lives and has been using that as a constant threat to try and get her way. To date she has made well over 20, if not 30 or more, false allegations against us.Every last one has been proven false, every time. Her first was that I was her sister and my husband was our biological father and that I was pregnant with his child and on Valentines Day he was beating me and throwing me against the wall. She has accused my husband of raping her, my brother of raping her and my father of molesting her. She has told people that my husband does drugs and is an alcoholic and she has to take care of her younger siblings. She has accused me of mentally abusing her and forcing her to have sex with someone. She steals anything, and even when caught red-handed she lies and says she didn't do it. Even if she's caught on camera she will swear up and down that she didn't steal it and that the camera is lying on her. When confronted with her lies to counselors and CPS case workers, she will bald face lie and say she never said anything and she doesn't know why they are investigating us. She has pulled knives on her siblings and threatens to shank them. She has told my husband and I that she would like nothing more then to slice our throats and watch us die. An she has threatened to kill us in our sleep on more then one occasion. She has told our other kids that she'll cut their heads off. She woke our oldest son, her younger brother, up one night by grabbing and twisting his groin saying she can make sure he never has kids and that she would do it if he said anything to us about it. She has constantly skipped school, drinks, is a pill popper and has threatened suicide multiple times. She has 20+ Baker Acts in Florida, one in Wyoming and now one in Tennessee. Family has tried to helps us by letting her stay with them only to have her turn around and stab them in the back by stealing, lying and making more false allegations against them and us, even though she's not living with us during those times. She has runaway, constantly tells us that she doesn't want to live with us and she hates us and when we give in and let her stay with family, she turns around and tells everyone we abandoned her to them. She has already put one kid in jail because she lied to him about her age and got him to pick her up and have sex with her. And then knowing full well that he would go to jail if she told anyone, went to school the very next day and told everyone there, teachers and students, about it. Our other kids hate and fear her. They don't want her in their lives or ours. Every day that she's with us, the kids come home from school and ask if they're going to have to talk to CPS workers again because their sister went to school and made another accusation. We're currently sitting here with a CPS investigation going on because of her latest lie about me. And she's not even living with us right now and hasn't been in the house for about 5 months. The family that she's staying with are about to send her back to us because they can't handle it because she just attempted suicide there and was in a group home for 2 1/2 weeks for "evaluation." And before she tried the suicide bit again, she was trying to get as many guys there to sleep with her as she could. When her cousins were getting into fights at school because guys there were talking about how they were going to sleep with her an d calling her a ****, she told them to not bother with it because she was "used to being called a **** and a *****" and it didn't bother her. As my brother-in-law found out, she didn't mind because she was the one starting the rumors herself, offering to sleep with dozens of guys in notes she was passing back and forth with them. As it stands, were' constantly living in fear of having our other kids taken from us or that she'll seriously injure or even kill one of us, one of her sibling's, or even someone else at random just because she's gets mad because she didn't get her way.It feels like no one wants to listen to us or believe us and just want to blame us and our parenting for her behavior. Which, if that were true, why don't her 4 other siblings act that way? We are at our wits end and don't know what to do. We've been robbed of the joys of parenthood because of her and we honestly don't know if we can handle two more years of her living in our house. She has mentally and physically abused every single member of our house and our extended families.We're constantly being judged as bad parents all because of her and no one wants to take a moment and listen or believe us or review her history to see the proof. And no one will protect us from her, they all want to protect her and she's definitely not the one needing protection.
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480448 tn?1426952138
Oh wow, your post is shocking.  Your daughter sounds very troubled, I'm sorry.  So, it seems you've had her evaluated numerous times?  

I hate to say it, but I would try to petition the courts to place her outside the home.  The main reason being the safety and well being of your other children and you and your husband.  She does NOT sound safe to be among the younger children.  She's already shown that she's not just "barking" with her threats of violence, she's acted on them, and continues to threaten very violent acts.

I wish I had better advice for you, I cannot imagine being in that situation.  Do you think perhaps something happened to her when she was young?  It IS odd that she's the only one behaving this way out of all of your children.  She absolutely needs intensive, ongoing, long term professional help (and supervision).  The sad part about professional treatment is that as manipulative and dishonest as she is, I doubt they would get anywhere with her.  She'd REALLY have to change and decide she WANTED things to improve for any kind of professional intervention to be successful.

I hope something changes for you, and for her.  You and your daughter are in my prayers.  I'm sure this is just heart wrenching.   Shes' your child and you love her, but you're fearful of her, which is both sad and unfortunate.  Good luck.
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yes we have done everything we know to do and nothing works..we have talked  to social workers in the past and they have told us if we just give her up that we would be charged with abandonment.. she gets in home counseling and outside counseling but she is able to fool them...they dont see what the rest of us see because she is able to pretend so well with them..all they want to see is the troubled little girl they dont want see who and what she really is..im at a loss i dont know what to do...i come to see that nothing is going to change its only getting worse and there is nothing that is going to help her... i dont want to give up on my daughter  but i feel i have no choice...its hard to turn your back on your on child but she is hurting our whole family and i worry about other children.. we are living in pure hell and it seems like there is no way out...
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i left her bio dad when she was just 3 years old because he was abusing me..he never hurt her or my oldest son... she has lived a great life with me and my husband her step dad. to answer your question nothing has happened that we know of that would cause her to act out like this.. we had a dr tell us once that its more then likely that she was born like this and there is nothing that could have been done to change what she has become...for the longest time i blamed myself because nothing i did ever helped her and ive bent over backward trying to help her and to understand her...its so hard to look at her now.. how did my baby that i gave birth to turn into this person that i dont even know? i dont understand..... i may never know what caused this...what i do know is we cant live like this anymore its not fair to our other children or to us...
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189897 tn?1441130118
Has any doctor looked at her possibly being bipolar?
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yes they have and she was diagnosed with that to. She has been clinically diagnosed as; a psychopath pyromaniac, pathological liar, manipulator, child conduct disorder (until she is 18 and then it gets reclassified as Adult Conduct disorder), cruelty, attention seeker, and she has NO empathy at all.
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189897 tn?1441130118
    Yep, I thought those symptoms sounded familiar. And actually, her early symptoms were very much like ADHD.  Here is a link that you might be interested in.
         http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2511.html
  I assume that medications have been tried but didn't work.   Trouble is, if all they were medicating for was bipolar or maybe just ADHD, things might not have worked as thats a tricky combo to deal with.  
        And unfortunately, as kids get older they tend to go off their meds and that really will mess them up.
       If you don't mind telling - what kind of meds or combination of meds have they tried?
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sorry it took me so long to reply i had to cook dinner and stuff.... my daughter has been on zoloft, lithium a few others that i cant remember right off the top of my head... none of the meds worked... the lithium at first made her stare off into space then it just stopped and it seems like she got worse...
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and thank u guys for the support
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Hey, I feel for you.  I have a very good friend with an older daughter who is going through a much worse phase.  All I could tell him was to love her.
   Medication wise - they all do work.  Even if you have no problems they will do something to you.  A good psyc will take what the medication is doing and then adjust from there because what the med is doing to the person is an example of how it is working and then how it should be adjusted.  Hopefully, you have been dealing with a psychiatrist or someone else in that specialty field?  And Lithium is heavy duty stuff (I can see the need based on what you say), but hopefully that was when she was much older.   Were any meds tried between say 7 and 12?  
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the psychiatrist put her on lithium when she was 13 she has also been on in the past Seroquel,Risperdal those are just a few of the meds the drs have put her on over the course of about 8 years.. the med she is on now is zoloft. but non of them seem to work on her,a couple of them seem to have worked maybe a week or so then they just stopped working.like i said i just dont know what to do anymore...she is getting worse and its not just lies and stealing anymore she also cuts herself and for the life of me cant understand why she  does that. she also says that voices in her head tell her to do these things and she swears that she talks to ghost and she can see them. to tell you the truth it scares the wits out of me. im not sure what to make of this anymore. i do love her and all i want is what is best for her but at the same time she scares me because she goes into the rages and she lashes out and she doesnt care who she hurts she goes after me and my oldest son the most... she pull knives on us and throws things at us breaks things..she more then once has tried to kill my son...
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480448 tn?1426952138
Have you looked into one of those residential programs for troubled children and children with major behavioral problems?  I think that may be a valid option perhaps?

Here are a few links I found, maybe it wouldn't hurt to browse through them and see what your options are.  I think she clearly needs an INTENSIVE program, somewhere she can be monitored 24/7.

http://www.inspirationsyouth.com/treatments/teen-behavioral-treatment/

http://www.nationalyouth.com/residentialtreatment.html

http://www.teenswithproblems.com/facilities.html#facilities

Those are just a few, if you do a search, you can find a bunch.  I think that may be an option for you.  You have to protect your family, and it sounds like there is real danger involved with the situation as it is now.  I'm so sorry you're in this position.  I REALLY hope you find a way to get her the help she needs.  
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thank you for all the info you have giving me,im going to look into it i have no choice. i wish there was more that could be done to save her but i know in heart there isnt and this really is my last hope for her... as much as love her i have to do what is best for my other kids and our family...
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I have a child he is 9 years old and he is ADHD has been since he started school. I keep telling anyone who will listen to me about is lying, stealing, and could care less about consequences. He has peed in his room before and blamed the dogs for it. He lies about any and everything, he steals right now just from me and my husband but in school last year I found things that did not belong to him. I am getting scared of going to bed without locking my door because I am scared that one day he will kill me and because he has does not care about consequences he will not care I am no longer here. He has not tried anything at this time and I have had him in therapy for going on 4 years now with no help. all I get is he promises not to lie any more or he said he would not steal again. I do not see where I have anyone that will listen to what I am saying and get the help for my baby that he needs before it is to late. Where do you go to get someone to listen to you and be willing to help you without blaming you or seeing this child as what they can show to everyone else a sweet loving child when at home you cry mostly because you are tired of fighting them to do what is right. I have grounded him, took away his room, made him write sentences and even spanked him nothing works. family members will not keep him because they say he is blatantly defiant. I do not get a break even in school because I get a call all the time saying he want keep his hands to him self or he gets up and walks out of class. Where do I turn please help me.......And we moved to a new state to even help him not carry the trouble maker name with him in school and that did not work either he fooled them for like two months then he started showing them the real him. Although the teacher will say he is sweet she will talk to you about some of the trouble she is having but nothing really comes out till you get called into the office.
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Hi Sonya, I am also the CL on the ADHD forum - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
   Why don't you start a new post over there?   This behavior (believe it or not) is something that I have seen posted many, many times.  It is so sad that you have not gotten the help that you need.
   I know of some very good links that will help you with discipline, but more importantly will help you understand why he is doing what he is doing.
   There are definite things that can help him in school - like a 504 plan.
    Have you tried any medication and if so what?
    I think that I can help, but do try and post to the site mentioned above so that you don't get lost in the 130 posts here.  Really glad I decided to check this out.  
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Oh brother these are traits of every single cluster b personality disorders there are. Or as they were more aptly called character disorders.
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My 9 almost10 year old step-daughter is lying about physical abuse. She lies, steals, and throws tantrums that are potentially dangerous and last for hours. She's seeing a counselor and has been for a year now. Today she told her babysitter that her dad hits her in the face, even chipped her tooth, that he hits her on the back with a belt for no reason.  Please, help! Anyone, if you have any ideas about what to do?
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Wow, I found this site boys I am asking myself the SAME question.My 12 year old daughter is in a facility at this very moment and told the therapist she has thoughts of stabbing me!
What do I do?????
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My daughter does not pee on things but refuses to wipe. She is a master manipulator as well. I'm in the process of putting her back into counseling after she faked being suicidal in order to get out of her math and science classes. She has always tried to make teachers and counselors feel sorry for her and alienates herself from peers because adults are easier to manipulate. I had to warn the school counselor today not to believe my daughter, which makes me sad but it's needed. She is a middle child with an older brother who doesn't like her and a younger brother who is special needs. I'm also divorced from her father and he has made it clear that he wants to see her, and loves her, but doesn't want her living with him. I can see the problems but what is the solution?
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189897 tn?1441130118
          Any chance she has ADD.  It would explain a lot.  And it is something that is usually missed in girls because they are not the hyper little boys.  Interesting link here on ADD in girls and women.     http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/740.html
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I think that there are several people that have written in about their childs behavior that exhibit symptoms far out of the realm of the ADHD diagnosis criteria. I wonder if ADHD is an example of an "overworked diagnosis"? It appears  to me that some of these kids, parents have written about are seriously mentally ill.Being either sociopaths or psychopaths.A few sound like Asbergers as well I have witnessed a child such as some describe above as well as witnessing a child with ADHD over a period of time and I don't see any correlation in behavior This must be unimaginably lonely, scary  and overwhelming for these parents I can not begin to fathom how hard it is for them..I shudder as I write this but these kids used to be called Bad Seeds. These kids are incapable of love or empathy, completely lack a conscience or any form of moral compass, are master manipulators,,cunning, duplicitous to name a few  and this is scary stuff (especially for families living with it) That is horrific enough to even imagine but to have to live with it, that behavior without the hope of resources, information, community support and acknowledgement is tragic for families!! it would be amazing to know that our "system" did work for a change especially for parents like these who so desperately need help and to be heard.
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Sounds like what I had to go through with my oldest son. It started when he was very little too and he would steal, manipulate, lie, ease drop on other peoples conversations, pit  parent against parent. He tried to take a butter knife and  came after his little brother when he was 5 cause he was so jealous that  time was being taken from him. He would threaten suicide and other things to get what he wanted. Me and his father divorced after 11 years. My son is 26 now an he an immature, impulsive adult now....in trouble with the law, going couch to couch, using people to get his needs met. Goes to the next sucker and tells them stories to get people to feel sorry for him and they take him in and within a month he's thrown out because of his behaviors and manipulating ways and the constant lies he tells. His own dad refuses to have him in the house, no aunts, uncles, cousins or friends want him living with them. Even his grandmother refuses to have him live with her. I'm the only one he's got and it's hard for me to deal with him. He's done this to himself and never learns from the stuff he has done cause he just keeps getting himself into messes. I'm not bailing him out of his problems anymore. He goes to jail that's where he'll sit. I know I sound bitter and I'm sorry for that but people have seen what this kid has put me through. It doesn't end when they turn 18 just so you know. I found that out. He's been in drug rehab.... He was there a week before they kicked him out for threatening another patient there. They said he was bipolar. The one thing I could say to the parents of young children who do this stuff and no body wants to believe you. Buy a hidden camera and audio and set it up in the house where it's unnoticed so things can get recorded so you have something to show these doctors. I wished I did that. Best of luck to all of you.
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My son was diagnosed in the early 90's with ADHD and he was on a 504 plan at school because they considered him health impaired but the stuff he was doing there was something more than just that diagnoses. I knew something was definitely wrong with him at an early age but when we divorced my boys lived with their dad cause I didn't want them not to grow up not having grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles around and in their lives. I didn't have that growing up cause of living in different states . Their dad had all of his family around living close to each other. I wanted them to have better than I did. Obviously my son did get the help he needed as a teenager cause his dad shipped him off to a military boarding school within a year of getting him. This school was in a different state. He wouldn't let me take him. Cause he didn't want to pay me support. Now my son is an immature adult always making stupid choices and  causing so many problems for other people. He truly doesn't see he's got a problem and he won't get help or get on meds. Cause he sees everybody else is the problem not him. His own brother won't have anything to do with him. It's just sad for everyone. I wish this state had a bakers act like Florida. The second drug and alcohol treatment center I tried to get him in refused to take him cause he became belligerent and hostile while there. It's kind of funny how he plays these game..... When people kick him out and he's on the street he turns to pot and stuff but once he's under my roof he's clean cold turkey. He turns it on and off. He tells everyone " yeah I'm a drug addict!!!!!" All excited and hyped about when he tells the story to everyone like its a badge of honor and he's profundity of it. Even the army kicked him out cause of his behavior. He didn't even make it through AIT before he was chartered out because of patterns of misconduct. But he tells everyone he was in the military and they reason he got out was because he couldn't pass the PT test which is a bulls**t lie. He embellished story upon story. He a pathological liar. He needs help but he's an adult and all I can do is kick him out again.
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I too have had the pleasure of trying to raise a step daughter whom I have been suspicious of being a sociopath since day one. She demonstrated all the behaviors of what ppl are mentioning. I talked to a psychiatrist and he said they do not diagnose that at least until the age of 13 yrs. She was only diagnosed with behavior disorder from the poor school system that has had to endure her rioting in the classroom for the past 10 years. I met her father when she was 10 and she was still wetting the bed every night and said it was because the rom leaked in my bottom floor apartment onto the couch she was sleeping on when she visited. Mind you there was no leak of any sort. I would find the blankets wadded up in my food pantry. Yes, I have always been afraid of waking up standing over us in bed as this was at least an every other night occurance. She was taken away from biological mother at 6 months due to mother doing drugs while pregnant and continuing to do them. Upon evaluation at birth she did have drugs in her system and mother underwent treatment and failed. The daughter then went to foster care and eventually given to my now husband. She, since I have met her, has always had above normal issues, and fathers family plays it off as it is her disabilities that cause these issues. She can get a's at school on the good years. (3 ttl now) Though I have to spend most of my energy on her day in and out and do not get any rest to achieve this. She also can behave, UNTIL, she gets what it is she is after. Then she is the spawn of Satin himself and does not care who she hurts.
She is now 15 and just this last weekend was suppose to be at a friends house for her friend's sweet sixteen party the next day. This was on Friday. She went to store with family and got stuff to do party. When everyone else went upstairs to go to bed, she called a 19 year old boy that we do not even know exists, and had him over to pick her up. She, as far as we know, as w account for her every waking minute other than in school, is not even seeing boys at all. They were found by the police in his car in a park.
  Of, course, dad is furious, and overstepped discipline, as she would not talk to him about any of it after he was awoken at 4 am to go get her from police at park. I will admit, there has been many times I have wanted to whip her butt myself with her defiance and lies, and snickering in your face afterwards. Though, I have only one when she was sent for a time out and smacked my face. I have taken a great deal of parenting classes, and raised 4 children, 2 with mental disabilities such as Bi-Polar and ODD. I also have a distant relative who has a son who was institutionalized for behaviors, but now is out and living a regular life:) I am not a stranger to this behavior by no means, but this sociopath tendencies can be so overwhelming to the best parents. The step daughter of course, after making several false accusations of her father abusing her, including when he wasn't even home, now had a reason to run to school and tell all. She told the social worker she had her mother's number. The social worker right off the bat, checked into it and found her to be manipulative. The step- daughter said she wanted to go live with the mother that she hasn't had contact from in over 11 years, because she said from what she has heard from others that know her mom, there would be no rules there. This of course, she denies saying to the social worker. ( The mother has had seven kids and has custody of the last one merely due to child's father being in the home) She also denies saying anything at school, which to me, was a blessing because now they will do something about all of it.
  The SD was in the front room at time of meeting with social worker when I asked if there were specialized therapists that work with this kind of thing. After she left SD (grounded indefinitely) comes back out of her room and says. " I was thinking that maybe talking to you or my daughter will do me more good than therapy". I felt like the SH** was getting deep this time for her to be pulling out all the straws. I told her that we gave her all the help we can and that we have to leave it to the professionals now. ( She has been in counseling for years before and hate every minute of it as they see her true colors after a month or so with 3 days a week) Also, her dad is on purposely not talking to anyone for 2 days to give her the impression he is mad as a wet hornet. He works third shift and as soon as he left she came out here crying asking about what she can do to make her dad not mad at her anymore. Now her world is shrinking and it is working like a charm. We are gonna' play this out for a so maybe she can remember for a spell.
  She doesn't have empathy other than taught, behaviors and feelings towards everyone.
  The father was just talked to about more effective ways to discipline as the social worker was of foreign descent and said if either of her twin daughters did that at 15 they would be lucky to get off so easy with their father.
  She however, is getting more therapy and counseling than she thought was even possible, as she is under my insurance, and it is fortunately very good. Her wanna' be, run around, teen years just came to an abrupt halt now that she has no where else to turn with the negativity. I am just hoping it will help her in the other areas as well, as this has kept our lives in uproar at least 6 months of every year for the past almost 6 yrs. She was also like this as a young child and in school from what I have heard from her aunts and school counselor.   I will not beat her or throw her to the wolves, so to speak, but if she resides under my roof, she will show daily that she will be respectable, or she will go to school( aka: counseling) to learn to do so.
  Bottom line is with anyone like her. If the people they know as parents don't care, it will liter our neighborhoods with more criminals and single parents with children needing care from the system. This is not to be taking lightly and I myself would respect anyone who can not be left to deal with this as this is one of my toughest struggles to date. I can not see this as anything more than a challenge as I have already been here for almost 6 years and only have 2-3 left before she moves out and I can have my life back. I also know I may sound a little rough around the edges about this, but I have learned to be one tough cookie:) Good luck to all of you, and I hope from somewhere deep down you can find the strength to muster on in your journey. These kids are misguided by their own brains and we can only teach them how they SHOULD feel and think, as they do not know otherwise. No one needs a diagnosis for this, and if she straightens out soon, she could be actually accepted into the college and then the workforce and American every day life. There is hope, we just gotta' find the will:)

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I am Bi-Polar and I was never cruel to animals.  I think you have your definitions all wrong.   Bi-polar children are not cruel to animals.
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Yes, he can get  the services of an IEP if the child meets the criteria for one of the 13 areas of a disabling condition for that state.  Each state has different sets of criteria for each disabling condition.  Suggesting that the parent sue the school district for not following through with an evaluation might get the parent some money, but that money won't fix the child.  As an experienced special education teacher, I can tell you that I haven't found anything that changes the manipulative nature and improves the lack of empathy that these children have.  I understand what these parents are talking about and suggesting that a change in the family dynamics might be the cause is an insult.  I do agree that if the school district can offer some services it will help to get him get some small group services.  The teacher will then be able to support the parent when trying to explain the extreme behaviors with a therapist..  An IEP will also protect him from being suspended if the behaviors are a result of the disabling condition.  
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Agreed, Bi-polar and sociopathic behavior is are not the same.  
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Boy, with a 144 comments on this post.  I've got no idea what you were referring to.  Always check the date.  Some of these go back a long ways.
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our five year old daughter has been doing all of these things short of threatening our lives, she has almost killed her grandparents dog by wrapping a leash around its neck and body, constantly hurts our pets, sneaks around all night and wakes up her year old brother and sometimes her 4month old brother. She hurts both her brothers by hitting them with objects and pushing her one year old brother off of chairs and into tables, is constantly arguing thinks she is always right, lies all the time, pees in her room even though we keep the lights on at night so she can get to the bathroom without fear of the dark, has stolen her mothers jewelry and my expensive items from in our room while we sleep. She hurts herself by scratching and pulling her hair and running into walls, lies to friends and teachers about where the marks come from saying it was us. We have had social services called on us numerous times because of this and each time we are given the all clear. We have also moved provinces to give her a better life and a new start. We are at our witts end with it all we have told her we are going to take her to the hospital and she welcomes it gets ready and everything and when we do go acts like the perfect angel so the doctors send us packing without any help at all. Phsycologists just keep saying she is to young to assess. My wife feels trapped at home while I am at work and is worried of even having a shower by herself cause she is worried that our daughter is going to hurt the other children. We have tried all sorts of punishments from time outs to a vast majority of other types of disipline nothing works in fact she tells us it wont work and that we are waisting our time. It may sound screwed up but it is a relief to find out we are not the only ones going through this though very upsetting that none of us have answers on how to deal with this short of addmitting them, I love my daughter dearly as she is my first born when we thought we couldnt have kids. We feel like we are failing her and getting angry with eachiother due to the stress that is put on us. We have lost multiple homes due to her behaviour and lost all damage deposits due to the damage she has done to her rooms and other rooms. We try to get her nice toys/bedding and it all gets destroyed. ''
'
'
signed a stressed dad
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Hi Everyone. I haven't been back on here in a while. I have gotten a few messages but I haven't really felt up to answering them. Shortly after I made this post my kids were taken from me by child services. At the time my older son was just turning 11 and my baby was 16 months. It was a nightmare. Cody had been telling his special ed teacher that we were abusing him. Telling her horrible stories that could not possibly have been true. For example she said I would withhold food for days at a time or I would throw him down on the kitchen floor when he refused to do his homework. He never ever missed school so that should tell her that he was able to eat and that I didn't beat him since there were never ever any bruises. Unfortunately he is an amazing liar and she wanted to believe that she was helping him. She called CPS repeatedly and to the point that they were at my house every couple of days to check on him and my home. I even agreed to let them have someone come out everyday for 2hrs so that they could monitor him and the situation. So at that point we had their worker and a counselor out every day but still she kept making reports and he kept lying to her and others at the school. But never did he lie to CPS and tell them that I did any of these things.

Well one day CPS showed up at my house with an order to remove my baby from my home. They agreed that there was no evidence of physical abuse but said that since my son kept making these allegations then there was obviously something wrong in the home and so they put "emotional abuse" on the order and took my baby. I was told they were putting both kids in the same home and I was absolutely terrified. I got all the reports about Cody threatening to kill the baby and begged them on my knees on the street to keep them separated. Thankfully they did. If for no other reason than to cover themselves in case something happened.

Cody was at school so they took him from there. I didn't see either of my kids for 5 days while I waited for court. When I got to court they told me that Cody had been placed with his special ed teacher since they had a previous relationship. Apparently she had gone through the process of getting certified as a foster parent while she was making all the reports so that she could have Cody and my baby when they were removed from my home.

I was able to get my baby back after 2 months but only after I agreed to let them keep Cody while I went through parenting classes. We dealt with the state for over 3 yrs. They kept telling me that Cody couldn't come home because he would never let me parent him but I wanted to try. Eventually they agreed to let him come home 2 1/2 yrs after he was taken.

This was after tons of therapy and lots of lies. When he came home he immediately went back to his old tricks. He started lying to me about his dad. Told his caseworkers that I made him stay in his room all day after we had spent the day at the lake and zoo. He pretended to overdose on his meds (he wasn't taking them in foster care and I had to start him back on them at home) and I called 911 just so they could tell me that even though he was out of it and vomitting that he was fine. The next day we went to his therapist and he spent 2hrs, while we were in the waiting room, vomiting on himself rather than using the provided trashcan and acting totally spaced out. His therapist told him to cut it out and act right but couldnt do anything else or say if he was faking. We had to carry him to the car and strap him in. When we got home he jumped out of the car and ran into the house. I went into his room and asked if he was feeling better and he said "Oh yeah, I was faking. I'm done now though. I'm gonna go play with my friends." I was heartbroken. If he was willing to hurt himself like that to upset me then what else was he capable of?

We decided that we had no choice and gave him back to the state. 2 months later I signed over my rights to him and he wasn't my son anymore. He was adopted by his foster mother a few months after that and I didnt hear from him again for about 2 years. When he called he asked why we had moved. Apparently he had someone take him by our old house and saw that we didn't live there anymore. He also went by my husband's past employer and was looking for him. We haven't told him where we live and I refuse to let him see my younger son even though Cody asks to visit regularly. He called from a mental hospital and begged to come home. I told him absolutely not. Even though he swears that he has changed.

He is 16 now and his adoptive mother had him removed from her home a few months ago after he hit her during an outburst. He is living in a group home which is basically a large medical facility. He will be there until he is 18 and after that we don't know.

It has been really hard. All the downs and really far downs had a huge impact on my health and on the development of my younger son. He has anxiety issues and other developmental issues that were caused from being taken from us and from us spending every spare moment trying to get his brother home. Finally giving up Cody was the best thing that I have done. I think I hurt everyone more by holding on to something and someone that wasn't ever going to work. I love Cody and always will but when I think of him it will always be the sweet 5 yr old boy that loved me and everyone else that I will picture in my head.
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My wife caught my son choking the dog yesterday while I was at school, finishing my MA in Psychology. He is 5 and I wanted to see what had caused this behavior or if it was something he had seen or experienced from one of his friends. He does not display the common traits of a personality disorder but after reading your post and those of some of the other people on this blog I thought you needed some support and information. Just some information for you and hopefully a direction of treatment at the end:

The common features of a psychopath and sociopath lie in their shared diagnosis — antisocial personality disorder. The DSM-5 defines antisocial personality as someone have 3 or more of the following traits:

1.Regularly breaks or flaunts the law
2.Constantly lies and deceives others
3.Is impulsive and doesn’t plan ahead
4.Can be prone to fighting and aggressiveness
5.Has little regard for the safety of others
6.Irresponsible, can’t meet financial obligations
7.Doesn’t feel remorse or guilt

Symptoms start before age 15, so by the time a person is an adult, they are well on their way to becoming a psychopath or sociopath.

Psychology researchers generally believe that psychopaths tends to be born — that it’s a genetic predisposition — while sociopaths tend to be made by their environment. The last part of that sentence is particularly important. If you think your child is suffering from sociopathic tendencies and state that to a caretaker, they may indeed look at you as the problem. Here is the thing as I see it, if you, in your heart are part of the problem then own it. Realize that you are a human being and made mistakes, what makes you an adult is realizing that you have to be honest in order to seek treatment for your child. If you had nothing to do with the current situation then realize your child might be a psychopath. Either way a clear and thorough evaluation of the child must be completed.  

Psychopaths, in general, have a hard time forming real emotional attachments with others. Instead, they form artificial, shallow relationships designed to be manipulated in a way that most benefits the psychopath. But psychopaths can often be seen by others as being charming and trustworthy.

Researchers tend to believe that sociopathy is the result of environmental factors, such as a child or teen’s upbringing in a very negative household that resulted in physical abuse, emotional abuse, or childhood trauma. Sociopaths, in general, tend to be more impulsive and erratic in their behavior than their psychopath counterparts.

Both psychopaths and sociopaths present risks to society, because they will often try and live a normal life while coping with their disorder. But psychopathy is likely the more dangerous disorder, because they experience a lot less guilt connected to their actions. Not all people we’d call a psychopath or sociopath are violent. Violence is not a necessary ingredient (nor is it for a diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder) — but it is often present.

Psychologists call these kinds of childhood behaviors a conduct disorder. Conduct disorders involve four categories of problem behavior:

◾Aggression to people and animals
◾Destruction of property
◾Deceitfulness or theft
◾Serious violations of rules

If you recognize these symptoms (and the specific symptoms of conduct disorder) in a child or young teen, they’re at greater risk for antisocial personality disorder.

Taken from : Differences Between a Psychopath vs Sociopath
By John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

I would recommend seeking help from a Psychiatrist with a care team. The care team would also consist of a Psychologist, Associate Psychologist and possibly some nurses. Initially you need to go see the Psychiatrist by yourself or with your spouse. This would be required so that you can fully explain the actions of your child, the manipulations that have occurred and any other information that you think would be pertinent. The Psychiatrist will consult with the Psych's and determine the course of action from there. Good luck and my thoughts are with you!
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The woman's husband sounds to me like he has an extreme case of borderline personality disorder. I know, because my father was one. He tells the children those lies about their mother because of a borderline's trademark fear of abandonment. Also border line's dish out verbal abuse because of their incontrollable emotions, especially when something posses them off, and it could be literally ANYTHING that pisses them off. He also seems to blame the mother for everything in the relationship which makes sense because borderline's idolize themselves and possess an extreme Narssasisitic behavior. Unfortunately my Father's Borderline behavior and many other Borderline's behavior can be a crucial cause for the formation of a sociopath. I have become one because of him. Most of these Borderline forming Sociopath cases develop at the child's earliest age when they start excuses for anything because of their borderline parents actions. They manipulate teachers by using the stories of their childhood stories and bringing out the works by crying. In fact most sociopaths view it as a game of some sorts with everyone around them as their pieces to use at their leisure. They feel they can treat anyone like crap because of their past. There is not much you can do to stop them, therapists often find the stories they tell convincing enough to claim there is no problem and often find it difficult to pinpoint a sociopath when they see one. My best advice, being a sociopath is be a STRICT parent. Don't use threats because they can use that against you. Instead, watch them do their homework, send them to the therapist, raise them like a normal child with a small problem. Don't let their lies get past you or anyone around them, keep strict ties with anyone they interact with as to prevent manipulation. Don't make it easy for the sociopath. The peeing, is difficult to prevents, and I advise you to make the therapist aware of it as well as teachers, relatives, etc. Perhaps placing a carpet in their room, which they would view as a pawn revolting against them, the player, and most likely would tell a lie to someone for that so make everyone aware of the special carpet or whatever you put in their. as for the abusive behavior aware everyone of it and don't take it. Yank the blank put of their hands or stop them, restrain them, whatever it take. Look them square in the eye, and say "Continue this and watch what wild happen." Didn't say it in a threatening tone and make everyone aware of what you say. They may view this as a rouge pawn, a.k.a. you, but also wonder what will happen. Of course they will try it again, but repeat the phrase. Observe them, watch the one possessing they value and use it. If they threaten you as the parent take responsibility and DO WHAT A NORMAL PARENT WOULD DO.  If you show them your fear they will use it against you. They are instinctively master manipulators. Remember to make everyone aware of the actions you take day by day. Make it hard for them to lie to anyone.

I wish all of you and m3168 the best of luck and hope that my advice and story will be of good use to you. Unfortunately there is no cure for something like this but if you handle the situation correctly further growth of the problem will hopefully cease. Do not call your child's issue a disease or say something is wrong with them. They need tour love and support to get through this. Not fear or a crisis. Stay strong and even get a therapist to help YOU through this tough time. If you keep a cool head you WILL get through this.
Sincerely,
A sociopath who wants to prevent more sociopaths from going through the same situation she did.
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Tonja ~ wow. your situation is EXTREMELY difficult and I cant imagine all you've gone through. Logically, it seems as if you have tried to get to the bottom for your sons issues. I have questions: how is the relationship between father and son? I would not take lightly the remarks made to kill you and an infant esp. if your son has performed animal abuse (not feeding ferrets). You have a responsibility to protect all of your children, even from themselves/each other. Has this son been diagnosed? Is there medication to help curb his inclinations? Perhaps he should be put into a reform type environment like assisted living for CP diagnosis. Have you had a chance to talk to a minister/priest/rabbi concerning your sons behavior and attitude? What does the school say?
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Autism awareness is a new thing and still looked down upon as a lame excuse for bad parenting by people who don't know any better. I went through hell raising my now "tween" son with autism, despite being a soldier and supposedly having good health care. They make us jump through the same hoops to find any help, then would take it away when they thought he was getting better, which created an unstable cycle for him. Also, some professionals still privately think cold mothers are the cause, others will still doubt the diagnoses despite numerous evaluations and letters confirming the the issues we were having. Very hurtful when you are seeking help and not just ignoring the problem, to the point where sometimes you want too.  

I have two children and am very affectionate, but since the age of about 9 months, my autistic son has had fits if I tried to cuddle him, would turn away if I tried to play with him or just ignore me. It hurt my feelings badly and I felt very alone due to his repeated rejections of me, so me being "cold" was not the issue at all. He's more affection now, our relationship has improved due to me never giving up on trying to get through to him, that I love him and admitting I'm not perfect, but do always do my best and he must do the same; follow the rules to the best of his ability or face consequences.

He use to have terrible tantrums, screaming, pulling his hair, banging his head on things, throwing himself around the room, over very minor things- like being told no about something. Once he reached a certain age (about 6 or 7), I told him matter of factly I would not subject me or other household members to his temper, so if he was too emotional to be around others, to go to his room until he calmed down. At first, I had to force him to leave the room. He would also ruin things in his room once he got in there, like ripping the bottom of his door off. They are obviously looking for attention when they intentionally escalate like that, so I refused to give him a reaction in those moments. I honestly think that continuing to treat him like a normal child & not letting him know how upsetting it was for me, was key to him not continuing that behavior. I would just shake my head, told him to clean it up once he'd calmed down. When it was done, it was done- I didn't bring it up again, or talk badly about him to family or friends, so as not to destroy his reputation and give him a bad image to live up to.

We still have plenty of issues, but him being destructive towards himself or the house hasn't been an issue since he was about 7yrs old. I discovered him using social media inappropriately tonight, so took his phone away, which resulted in over an hour of loud wailing while laying in his bed, ending with him puking in the toilet. He's still highly emotionally reactive, but he knows where my line is drawn in the sand and doesn't cross it.

Children like this take a lot of patience and self discipline on the parents part, regardless of what diagnoses they receive. As much as I would like to be a permissive parent, as I don't naturally like to be strict, there is no room for that. I also make sure to talk to him a lot, to explain why I do what I do and also to ask him what's upsetting him (sometimes it's not the thing we are even disciplining them over). Tonight the fit started over his phone, but morphed into something else completely. He worried no one would like him anymore, including me, so I have to reassure him I'll always love him and be there for him, but that I was angry and only because I love him, do I take the time and effort to discipline him. People that didn't love him, wouldn't bother, they would just avoid him. I explain I don't want his life to be like that, with people avoiding him his whole life, so teaching him wrong from right, was better to learn now from someone who cares about him.

Though it's been a long night, we are waking up very early, me, him and my toddler, to go enroll him on a drill team. I think that will help him make more positive friends, to feel proud of himself and introduce him to more self-discipline. Most extra's like sports are expensive and competitive, but drill teams are usually free and emphasis everyone cooperating together. We are also starting to practice breath focused meditation together, as I feel that will help him self-regulate his emotions better. Do not give up on your kids! If you can't reach them, then who can?

Building a relationship is important, discipline with no relationship built, will only result in rebellion. Something I have to remind myself of when I'm tired and don't think I have the patience. He can be a sweet kid, but he interrupts a lot and talks incessantly about singular topics that only interest him (typical for people with autism) so sometimes bonding with him in the ways that women usually do, can be difficult. I find physical activities that don't require lots of talking work best for bonding with boys, like sparring or kicking a ball around. We still talk plenty, but I don't consider that bonding time for either of us, as it's obvious with the chattering on that trying to hold conversations over mundane things can be nerve wrecking for us both.

We never know what could have caused this for our children, we like to think that will tell us anything, but often they won't. They could have been abused or molested by a trusted family member or friend, which resulted in them acting this way. Maybe it is chemical. But they are children, and if we can barely deal with them as adults, think of how scary it must for them to deal with themselves as children, especially when they act in ways that push people away, and then result in them feeling unloved. They probably have no clue what the first step would be to rectify the situation, especially if they've lost the trust and confidence of everyone in their lives. Make room for them to improve!

This isn't just coming from a parent, but from a girl who was also troubled. No one knew I was being molested from 4-12 yrs old. I acted in similar ways as a tween and young teenager to what you all are describing. My mother didn't know what to do with me and sent me away, which in my mind, sealed my fate as a bad seed. Due to her venting to family members, I also felt like an outcast in my family (and still do with extended family). I was in and out of residential treatment facilities, mis-diagnosed with all kinds of serious mental illnesses, put on medication that made me feel suicidal for the first time in my life and eventually landed in juvenile hall. Thankfully my dad and step mom reentered the picture. As they weren't involved before, they didn't hear years worth of bad things about me and being very country, didn't subscribe to much of what the doctors said anyways. Moving in with them, allowed me the room to transform into a better person, without labels and being treated as an outcast.

Aside from living in the country and discipline, they also took time out to talk to me about deeper things in life & allowed me to see adults aren't meant to be perfect. They spent time with me. I actually felt cared about for once in my life, not just my physical needs, but as a person with a soul that needed mending. I'm not overly religious, but I cultivated a strong personal relationship with Jesus in their home. It wasn't pushed on me, but the peace my step-mother spoke about it giving her had an impact. No one who knows me today, would guess I had such a storied past as a young teenager, as I'm very caring, kind and responsible. I'm also a decorated combat veteran with no mental illness, a home owner and working on my degree in social science. I'm now best friends with my mother, who I once scared badly at 12, by writing repeatedly in my diary, that I wanted her to die (I didn't, just wanted attention & was using shock to get it, knowing she read my diary). Have hope!
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Great post!  Thank you for sharing!
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My son doesn't seem to fit any category precisely.  He finally became violent and beat me two nights ago. He is turning 16 this month.   Prior to that I never had cause to fear physical harm from him.  He was taken into custody and returned to us yesterday but is facing up to nine months in a juvenile detention center.  His behaviors started at a very young age:
Even after potty training he continued to wet the bed.  He still continues to do this, sleeps in it to the point of my having to throw out his mattresses.  He began the same behavior with defecation when he was around 12.
He will soil himself and not clean himself.  There are times when I will find feces on chairs, walls, the floor.  He has been complained about by fellow students for his odor.  I have tried private schools, home schooling, public schools.  He is highly intelligent and knows how to present himself to his instructors.   It takes a little while but he begins failing.
He destroys most anything we give him.   Furniture, clothing, even his carpet, walls, doors, electronics (these he seems remorseful about).
He urinates all over his room, hoards food and garbage.  I will scrub his room, and I do mean scrub-carpe, walls, furniture, windows,everything-with bleach water.  I will throw away bags full of garbage and ruined clothing.  He will immediately begin the process of messing his room again.
He is obese and will sneak food.  Frozen, in cans, it doesn't matter.  We lock food in our room and buy only enough food for each day.
He refuses to socialize in any way.   Sports, make friends, hobbies.  His only outlets are gaming and one friend who he very infrequently sees and has known since early childhood.  I have to work very hard at keeping him in my son's life.
He is overly emotional.  At times his reactions seem over the top.  Other times he will ignore me completely.
He can be very mean to his sister and brother to the point they ask why he hates them.  It is not violence but mental and emotional abuse.  They are a good deal younger, 7 and 9.  I never feared for their safety until 2days ago.
He lies.  About insignificant things as well as when directly confronted about specific events.
He can also be the sweetest most loving person you have ever met.  He is funny and creative and kind.
He was seeing a psychologist on two seperate occasions.  Neither was willingly.  They gave us coping strategies.  None of which worked.
I have an appointment for him with a psychiatrist next week.  I had to fight for it-apparently most hospital systems want a psychologist to evaluate first.  I refused and after insisting for over =20 minutes they scheduled him with the Dr.  This appointment was scheduled 3 weeks ago.
There are other incedences like hitting himself, burning things, keeping a dead hamster in his pocket and telling me it was sleeping.  
Writing this is very difficult.  I just feel like I'm at the end.
Any suggestions as to what he may have so I can continue to research is appreciated.
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15439126 tn?1444446763
- investing in mattress protector pads highly recommended (moisture barriers, absorb lots, easily washed), get at least 2 or 3 for convenient rotation
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15439126 tn?1444446763
oh, and he's two faced, so if you can do so totally discretely and WITHOUT any chance of triggering him, consider recording or much better video recording, his sociopathic behaviour he's presenting his family
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I have done this to the point of them falling apart.  I have taken photos of the state of his room as well as feces in his clothing and on his floor.  I intend on showing the psychiatrist.   I'm hoping for possible explanations......
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189897 tn?1441130118
   Oh boy, I can certainly see why you feel like you are at the end of your rope.  There is a lot going on here.  I definitely think that seeing a psychiatrist is the best way to go.  There may very well be some medical issues going on here.  I think a full medical workup (including hormones) would be helpful.  
   This is an old write up on encopresis but the first part does explain a lot about soiling.  http://www.dulwichcentre.com.au/beating-sneaky-poo-1.pdf
   After that I can see signs of anything from autism to ADD to SPD (sensory processing disorder).
   You need to take full documentation with you to the psyc.  Especially any reports from teachers while still in school.
   When you say he destroys things ... I assume he goes into a rage kind of thing.  If so, how long do these last?  One significant sign of bipolar is rages that last much longer then normal.
    Of course things like eye contact and social contact when in elementary school are important  Particularly,  comments made by his early teachers K-3rd grade are important.  Start writing this down now to take in with you.
    This has been going on way to long.  I do so hope that you will be able to get an accurate diagnosis.  Please keep in touch and let us know what is going on.  If you have any questions, please post.    Best wishes.
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My 11 year old step son put his hands around my 7 year old daughters neck and squeezed hard enough to cause her to cough.  She says she was just watching tv, he doesn't have a clear answer as to why he did it.  He has been aggressive with her in the past.  Am I crazy to think he needs therapy?  Is it wrong for me to not want him around?  His mother thinks this is a one time thing even after I have explained he has been aggressive before.  What do I do?
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im sorry but all you want to keep saying and pushing is adhd like wow why didnt anyone think of that oh probably cause they did since like you that is what the school and drs want to say off top and dope them up so they can be controlled zomBIES when i think we know our kids better than anyone since we always around them and there is a big difference is sociopath and adhd and i think we know what it is
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189897 tn?1441130118
   There are 157 posts to this topic and I have no clue which one of mine you might be referring to.
   But, the fact that you think that to treat ADHD is to dope them up so they can be controlled like zombies ....makes me pretty sure you have no clue what you are talking about.
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I read your post and your comments and I couldn't help but think o this article. Maybe you have seen it, but if you haven't maybe it will be a jumping off point for answers and help.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/magazine/can-you-call-a-9-year-old-a-psychopath.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all
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189897 tn?1441130118
Great (an kind of scary article) thanks!!!!
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Tonya...my son is 8 years old and doing all the things you described. He's actually stood at the foot of my bed smiling with a knife before. I've tried everything like you have to no avail and noticing that it gets worse with age. If you found a way to help your son please let me know because I could use it. He sometimes hurts his sister and finds it funny when she cries or bleeds. He's shoved her down the stairs and off bikes...I had the same thought as you
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You definitely need to find a psychiatrist. Don't drop the issue. Don't let them push you off.
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I understand how as a mother you hesitate sending one of your own children you had with full intentions of loving caring for and rearing but you need to realize its also a parents responsibility to know when your child needs more than you intuitively and naturally are capable of providing. Your  boy is in dire need of receiving care from people specialized and familiar with children needing specialized care. It is not fair to your other child to have to subside on what energy love attention and emotional constancy you have left over after giving stressing and grieving their brother. You are putting you youngest at risk of being traumatized and he/ she also deserves your love protection and energy. My child has cerebral palsy but is loving caring so I dont think your son's CP can explain away whats at work here. There may be orgaic brain damage involved but there is also most certainly behavioral/psychological issues that are more likely the causes. My heart goes out to you but the right thing to do is probably the more difficult and includes in house long term hospitalization. This situation is one thats just too complex serious and dangerous for a mothers love alone to fix. The most loving thing you can do is to let trained professionals help your son and your family now.
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Personality disorders like sociopathic personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, etc. can;t be properly diagnosed until age 18. However, these conditions are usually triggered by some sort of childhood trauma. It could be that he has an inflated need to prove himself because of his size. Children with these disorders usually experiment with petty (and more serious) crimes as they get older. Try taking him to a therapist regularly. If you are in the US, try children;s hospital. They have both inpatient and outpatient facilities as well as psychology and psychiatry offices. Usually outpatient units are where he lives and sleeps at home but he spends all day at the outpatient unit, where they;ll be able to give him the care he needs for both the CP and whatever is causing the urination and disorderly conduct.
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I don't know if the Cp is what's causing it because my nephew is also doing a lot of these things and he has other issues such as RAD REACTIVE ATTATCHMENT DISORDER and a few other things bipolar and for him it started out with behaving poorly in school getting into fights with other kids because he stole something from them he was removed from the 5th grade class and had to be in a private classroom and when he ate lunch and recess was with the 1st graders. He stole his grandma's phone multiple times he steals from other family members tablets phones and when we finally find them he has searched pornography on the phones. So we have locks on our bedroom doors so that things can't get stolen he breaks into them he is very mean to other kids in the house especially if they get something that he can't have because he's in trouble or they try to tell on him he steals knives and exacto knives and stashed them all over the house just a few days ago I got a call from my mom (his grandma) while I was at work he had given my dog a full 10 ML syringe of Vimpat a seizure medication for my Baby sister who has Grand mal seizures he said he didn't know it would hurt her I had to then give my dog 5tsp of peroxide every 5 minutes to make her throw up he has threatened to hurt the other 2 little dogs he sneaks out in the middle of the night and goes and ding dong ditches people's houses and the lies about it when he is caught red handed. The day after he poisoned the dog he was pretending to be real tired at about 845 or 9pm so he could be sent downstairs to his room he had stolen a lighter out of his mom's purse and tried to start a piece of headphone cord on fire and set the alarms off in the house and stashed the lighter under my door which is across the hall from his and hid the burnt pieces all over his room he has been urinating in bottles and leaving them in Palin site so that they will be found and we to are at a loss we love in nebraska and the police here have told us that they can't even site him until he's 11 boys town won't take him because he is to severe a case and we can't find any relief they tell us to put him in in home counseling which absolutely does not work he fools his psychiatrist somebody please help us
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