Sleeping in bed with mom

I am divorced.  My daughter lives with her mother.  Ashley, our daughter, is seven.  I have Ashley every other weekend.  Uor problem is, she sleeps in bed with her mother every night.  When Ashley stays with me, she sleeps in her room fine, untill about a month ago.  Now she says she can't sleep and wants me to lay next to her untill she falls asleep.  Her mother says Ashley will start sleeping in her own bed at her mother's house when she is ready.  I have told my ex-wife that a seven year old should be sleeping in her own room.  I understand that the occasional nightmare will frighten a child and kids will sometimes want to sleep with mom and dad because of that.  But I feel that Ashley sleeping with her mother every night is bad for her.  Please help me understand whet is going on and how I can get my ex-wife to understand as well.  I want my daughter to grow up a happy healthy person.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

In general, it is best for children to sleep in their own beds, and to be able to fall asleep without a parent being in bed until they fall asleep. Does this mean that your daughter will develop some problem as a direct result of sleeping in the same bed as her mother? No, it would be going too far to imply that. But, in thirty years of clinical practice, I have never seen a child harmed by sleeping in his/her own bed. Sometimes, in families where divorce has occurred, it is the parent's emotional needs, as much (or even more) as the child's need that results in the parent allowing the child to sleep in the same bed. Perhaps, to receive the guidance in this regard, your daughter's mother might seek a consult with a mental health professional to talk about the matter. Sometimes the ex-spouse is not in the best position to broach such a thing.

[Jane_Ally]

dont be *******, let the little tyke sleep in your bed. She'll grow out of it. She dosent need your rejection and your divorce. Her mother letting her sleep in the bed will also make her have resentment towards you and feel closer to her mother

[Keegan]

Hi, i have heard it is unhealthy for the child to sleep with the mother and father every night.  I guess nothing bad could occur from it but, she needs to be in her own bed.  Read her a bedtime story.  It is hard for her to understand why Mommy & Daddy got a divorce.  Very stressful on a child so young.  Be patient and pray.

[greensh5]

A related discussion, Sleeping in bed with mom and grandma at 9yrs old was started.

[patsyburrell]

A related discussion, Can you please help me? was started.