Son with no self-control/diagnosed add/possible aspergers

[jen8569]

I am at a loss for our son. We have him in therapy and it does not seem to help. What do you do with a child who takes no responsibility for actions, no self control, doesn't follow rules (home or otherwise), makes people mad on purpose, doesn't follow through with instructions for chores, ignores requests, cannot make friends because he annoys them, desires friendships but has none because they can't stand his behaviors, is rigid in thinking, argues everything, will not follow through with instruction,and this year he got so fixated on a disagreement over a violation of his religious rights that when she wouldn't budge he burnt himself, then they call children services to investigate. We have other children and we are afraid his choices or whatever is going on with him is putting our family at risk and himself. If you compliment any progress he will sabatoge it. We have done rewards, consequences, contracts, charts, grounding,severe discipline times, light discipline times and he is on Concerta and zoloft. It is like he needs the supervison of a toddler. This is overwhelming and exhausting on our family. He can be fun but will ruin it by starting arguments or getting handsy with people or name call. He takes everything personally. Therapy does not seem to be working. What can we do?

[angelinamarina]

Hi,
I too have a similar child., but she is only five!

Have you tried Risperidone?

It is for symptoms that you describe.

Someone else mentioned abilify.

I think that therapy is great (and our daughter is in  occupational therapy and regular play therapy) but kids who have severe brain chemistry issues, need medication.  And, to not give them meds is cruel.  I am glad that you have him medicated if that is what he needed.

It does sound like posssible Asperger's to me.  ODD can be a part of asperger's, as can ADHD and other fun things.

Angi

[CG24]

Looks like you got some great info from momagain59.
You are right - the shcools aren't very forthcoming.  Does he have a caseworker at school who can advocate for you and your family.
Very glad you had a good day.

[momagain59]

http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/svc/alpha/c/special-needs/resources/indiana.htm

Indiana special needs resources

I looked at your profile and it says your are from Indiana. When I searched, this is what I found. I would call as many as possible, tell them your story, and see what they have available. It is amazing what is available but, you do have to locate the help yourself.

[jen8569]

Did not get a response today about any fundings hopefully someone will call me back tomorrow. We live in a large county so there might be something. I may try calling the investigator who came to our house when our son burnt himself, he did mention some kind of program but that funds had run out for the year(2008) when he checked into it. I may call him and see exactly what program he was talking about. He was a very nice man and tried to be helpful with us but if there is no funds there is no funds. I have asked schools for any ideas or what they offer. They seem to only offer "special ed" classes and programs but nothing specific to our needs. I find school districts not very forth coming. It is becoming more and more evident that parents are the best to find out what is out there. Thanks for your help and words of encouragement. By the way today was a good day for the WHOLE family.

[CG24]

Yes - I understand.  I had to deal with that (and still do)  My oldest was always getting the attention and my younger one was not.  He is 4 years younger.  I found it was possible to explain to my younger boy - once we started talking about the attention issue more openly and more frequently we began to understand each other and the imbalance of attention.  It's not perfect but is out in the open as an open topic.
I hope your county does have some supports you can tap into.  You might want to check your school district too - sometimes they have things they just don't publicize. And is your city large enough to have a behavioral manangment dept. at one of your hosptials?
Hang in there

[jen8569]

Thank you for your response. I will call today to see if our county has any fundings for this area. Any suggestions or programs anyone knows of is helpful and worth looking into. I know I have an exceptional kid, and I really believe that he has a ton of potential and when we can tap into what will work for him, what ever means that will be, his whole life will be changed and we can enjoy dealing with just the "normal" teenage stuff. His siblings love him but you are right we are all under stress with this. Any advice on how you can help a kid who demands so much of you and to make sure the siblings don't begin to think that is how to get our attention? Right now they talk to us about feeling like everything is always about him. They are talking to us about how they feel. To tell you the truth at times we do get wrapped up in dealing with him that we need them to let us know when too much focus is on him and not enough on them.