YOUNGER BROTHER MASTERBATING(masturbating) OLDER BROTHER

I found a video that my 13 year old made making his 7 year old brother masterbate him, i never would have found this out if i hadnt seen the video, he said it was to threaten the younger sibling if he ever got in trouble. I called the police and they have placed him with a relative, i am waitng for him to get an evaluation, my problem is that the older sibling told me, and the police that my middle son who is 11 is the one that showed him how to do this, my middle son is in the house, he will also get counseled. I am so confused, some sites say it is normal to experiment but some say that it could get worse, I dont know where to look for awnsers and I am besides myself! My 7 year old who was the one that was abused does say that the 13 year old did it once or maybe twince but the middle one did it more then the older one and it started with the middle one....I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I want my son back but I need to know my other children are saf, what now? Will CPS take all of my children?

[LeftCoastChick]

It's not normal behavior by any stretch of the imagination. My brother who is 2 yrs old, did sexual acts with me, I found out later because someone did that to him. He didn't know any better., BUT that doesn't make what he did right. Most predators were sexually abused themselves.

[LeftCoastChick]

Correction. My brother who is 2 yrs older then myself, sorry.

[apodacamaria]

Is it different because it is boy boy or not?

[babygirl6152]

age 7 or 8 is "the age of reason" meaning that a conscience should be fully formed.

So if they were all about the same age they could probably all be held accountable unless there are other mental issues.
The elder ones will be probably considered more culpable since they admitted to doing it to use for blackmailing- whether that is true or not, it shows the elder boys are manipulative.

I know you love all your boys but the one that needs your attention MOST right now is the victim- the smaller child

Good luck

[apodacamaria]

thank you, i am doing my best to give extra attention to the little one, this has been overwhelming to all of us, i am actually at the counselors office right now, i have 5 boys all together, 13-11-7- and 6 month old twins, so i am trying to keep the family together but more importntly SAFE! thank you so much for commenting, i need all the responses i can get!

[babygirl6152]

Well let us know what the counselor says. My nephew did some of this and I never had to hear all the gory details but it was to his sister and he was taken out of the home and put in a boy's ranch"- My sister- his mother would visit once a month (and it was out of state).
He was released at age 18 and by law is still not allowed to be alone with the girl (his sister) unsupervised. And he for sure cannot live in the same home with her...... This is in Texas.....
Good luck and I will pray for the best for everyone in the situation.

[Sally44]

If it had been all boys of the same age, doing it to themselves then it wouldn't be so unusual.  Or if it was two boys of similar age who thought they might be gay - again no so strange.
In your case you have got older siblings forcing a younger one to do a sex act and using it as a way of controlling another sibling.  Are you absolutely sure that neither of your older boys have had this done to them by someone older?
This must be a very worrying time for you.  You have to make it absolutely clear to all your children that this behaviour is not acceptable and that the repercussions could change family life and also individual lives for ever.  I think you have to accept that both the oldest and youngest have said that the middle child started this behaviour.  So it is both your older boys who have stepped over the line.  
You don't mention the boys father.  Is he not around?

[wisetale]

Hi I would just like to say that you are doing the right thing. You are a good mother.. The boys will appreciate everything as they are older. It must be hard for you trying to keep your family together but if you had a choice to have a family that are seperated or a family together that are unhappy and hurting eachother. I know what I would choose. You are still going to be hurt in both situations but you will be proud that you are keeping you children safe. Let you too older boys go from your home always visit them treat them no different and keep you 7 year old at home with your babies. This will be in your head always so you will be watching you 7 year old as he grows older with your babies. Talk as much as you can to all your boys and teach them the value of life and the body is a temple. They could well be confused. Hope this helps thinking of use take care ps also get your boys checked with your family doctor but not for a cold.

[hometruth]

Your mad! These boys are simply exploring their bodies. Have you, apodacamaria, ever taken the time to discuss puberty, sex, masterbation (masturbation) with your kids and tell them where the lines are.

It's perfectly natural for boys to mess around with other boys and your son most likely told you it was for blackmail as it seemed a logical way to get out of trouble.

Having him removed from the family! That's just ripping your family apart for no reason. Brother learn things like masterbation (masturbation) from each other and will very often offer to show each other how it's done. If that leads to mutual masterbation (masturbation)...who care's it's harmless exploration of the human body.

Instead of tearing your family apart try talking to all your kids about sex and the changes their bodies are going though and what is or isn't socially acceptable in your view.

Sending the older son to some ranch for deliquent kids isn't going to help either. Just going to make the poor kid think he's some sort of sexual freak rather then a normal health young man.

[hometruthfail]

Exploration is one thing forcing yourself on your little brother when he doesn't want it is another.