attitude changed at 3 and a half.

I have a 4 year daughter-I do not live with the mother but I have joint custody and 10 days a month visitation. Everything was great for three years and then for no reason she acted like she didn't want to go with me when I went to pick her up. I have my visits at my parents house because my mother  keeps her when I work and they have a great relationship. My daughters mother and grandmother are so jealous or my mother that they are trying to turn my daughter against her. The times she comes with me happily, she will act like she is trying to keep from crying several times during the weekend. I try to ignor it but it worries me that her mother and grandmother are confusing her about our love for her and her relationship with me and my mother. Is this normal behavior and should I make her go with me even if she is crying and screaming. I get no cooperation from her mother making her go with me. Her mother is a control fanaic.

[babygirl6152]

tell us some things that make you realize your ex and her mother are poisoning the daughter against you all or is it just a general attitude you see-

At age 4 there are usually so many other things going on in a child's life and the anxiety of going from one home to another to another- although that is what was decided at one time is not necessarily best even when there is the best relationship between adults.....

I know you think you all are dealing with each other and the adults behind the scenes- but ultimately who this is affecting MOST as you said is the child......

so one of you adults has to take the first step as hard as it will be and all get together and talk about what is best for this sweet girl. The hardest part about all this will be to have a softened heart enough to say- "let's all meet and talk like adults" and solve this---- brainstorm all ideas until you all find a decision you all can compromise on comfortably.....Believe me taking that first step just to chat will be hard but you sound like a loving father who has your child's best interest at heart as you should.... be brave - go in unemotionally as best you can and deal with everyone's feelings once and for all... even if it hurts.....

broken homes/ broken relationships as you see are hard on adults- you can imagine how difficult it is for a child who cannot verbalize her emotions