can't remember which shoe fits

My grand daughter is almost 5 years old and sometimes she can not remember which shoe goes on which foot.  At first we thought it was just to get attention, but it is not.

Sometimes she can totally dress herself, other times she needs help.

She has been learning how to pronounce words for the past 2 years due to ear problems.  She could not understand what you were saying to her according to the doctors and she did not speak clear words until she was over 2 years old when they put tubes in her ears. She could cary on a conversation with you but you could not understand what she was saying.

She throughs tantrums, and is whinny.  I think she is a little spoiled.  What grand kid isn't, but she can not remember all the time how to put on her shoes and socks.  And when you refuse to help her, she throughts a tantrum.  

This morning after her shower, she got dressed herself and put on her shoes and socks.  She had to ask which shoe went on which foot.  I showed her and she put on her shoes all by herself with no problem.  In the late afternoon, I asked her to put on her shoes, again she asked which shoe on which foot.  I showed her.  She got one shoe on, no problem.  Then she could not put the other shoe on. Why?  I put the shoe down by her foot and told her this is the correct foot for the shoe and she started crying and asking for help.  So I put her foot partially in the shoe and ask her to finish putting the shoe on and she kicked it off and told me that she could not put the shoe on.  

I knew better.  She had totally dressed herself in the moringing.  So I again put the foot partially in the shoe.  Again she kicked off the shoe and said that she needed help.  By this time she was crying and screaming.  

So I put her to bed and told her when she calmed down and we would work on the shoe.  We never did get the shoe on.  I asked her why she could not put the shoe on and she told me that she was only 4 years old.

That did not make any sense to me.  Why am I not understanding what she is trying to tell me?  So I told her that was no excuse that it would not be long until she was 5 and ask her what her excuse would be then.  She just shrugged her shoulders like she did not have an answer and gave me that cut little smile.  But you could tell that she was thinking about that question.  Bet she will come up with an answer.

Most of the time she is the sweetest child you could imagine.  Beautiful little girl.  She minds me like a top.  We play together, color in books, work puzzles and try to do her A B C's,  but I can't get her to write her name.  She totally refuses.  

I work with her on her speech.  She can say most words very clearly when she wants to.  I give her hard words sometimes and say them in sylables so that she can say them in the sylables and then we put the sylables all together to pronounce the words and she does really well with that.  We do the high 5 to let her know what a good job she has done.

But I can't understand why she can not remember how to put her shoes and socks on sometimes and can't put them on at other times.  I am at a total loss on this.

I have looked up delexsia, autisim, adhd, down syndrome and even read articles about retarted kids of different kinds and I can't find any one thing that fits this kid.  She is smart, she takes dance classes, was in a Christmas play and did all the moves and songs perfectly, I know that she can learn, because I teach her things that are related to a 4 year old and she remembers and repeats what I have taught her.  Today her brother was showing her photos in a little pocket Star Wars book and telling her the names on the pictures.  Later she was looking through the book and was naming off some of the photos.  Now I know this kid can learn.  Somehow I am not seeing the whole picture and don't know how to find the answers.  

I am just totally stumped as to how to help her learn how to put on her shoes and socks.  

[RockRose]

I think ignoring this would be for the best.  Summer is upon us,  get her some flip flops (where it's obvious how to put them on,  if you get them on the wrong foot your foot is off the shoe)  or crocs and just ignore it when she won't put them on.