I feel completely alone...Help!!!

[Laura201989]

I am 20 years old, and i am concerned about my life as it is at the moment, i was diagnosed with Accute anxiety disorder with depression tendencies when i was just 12 years old, i seem to have good periods of my life but then i come crashing down at 1000 miles per hour and its driving me crazy! i dont kno who to turn to, i have been to local doctors, i have tried councelling it all helps for a little while but then it rears its ugly head again, i have been on anti depressants for about a year now, but i keep forgetting to take them, all the doctors say is just try and remember but i just can't. i often think that i am just not mentally strong enough to cope with life in general. and have thought about ending it all. it feels like my only way out. i know i must sound like thousands of other people and i dont think for a second that i am the only one. I just feel that i will NEVER be able to cope with anything, its all too big and i am going to crack. im not good with pressure, i have lost some of my hair due to stress, ive gone through so much just trying to keep ontop of it all, on top of all this there is beverment aswell i lost 6 family members in the space of two years, i have found that i dont cope with that too easily too, i have been house bound and too frightened to go out, that as a dark peroid of my life which i am desperately trying to go back to, i cant seem to keep myself in a job because the stress is too much and i end up breaking down! sometimes i just want to scream and scream until i explode. i suffer from panic attacks too so i have them to deal with. How in the world am i suppose to cope with all this? im sooo scared that i wont see my 21st birthday and it'll will be my own fault! i am a manic depressive?

[Laura201989]

sorry i posted this and there is a few spelling mistakes because i typed it so quickly if anything doesnt make sense please ask me what i mean, i really do want help with this.....

[LeftCoastChick]

Spelling doesn't matter but feelings do. Honestly you sound like I was for a bit, all of those symptoms except the hair loss. You need to see a psychiatrist, not a counselor, you need medical intervention. If you feel your are suicidal go to your local ER, you will get help fast, much faster then waiting for a referral. You know you don't want to end it, because you're posting here. A human can only take so much loss, grief and stress. The brain physiologically gets overloaded. If you think of it like you have epilepsy, you would get help fast This is no difference, your brain chemicals are unbalanced.
I hope you seek help soon, so you can enjoy life. Regardless of what your diagnosis is, you can find a balance, and at least temporarily have meds on board to get the relief you need.
I hope you take this advice, though this is through the internet, people care.
LCC

[goodgardenpeas28]

I have often felt ill equipped to deal with life, I have a myriad of disorders and often feel like the world is crashing down around me. See a psychiatrist! They have done me wonders of good! I cant begin to tell you how much better I feel, I am able to go out once again and deal with most of what life throws at me, I think the problem is just that your anxiety and depression are not being managed. They can be managed, you may not ever feel 100 percent but life can be so much better than it is now. Have you tried anti anxiety meds and depression meds? there are many anti anxiety meds that can be taken as needed instead of every day and depression can respond to talk therapy. try these things before resulting to drastic measures

[Laura201989]

Thanks For the comment, i read it every day. Thankyou for taking the time to listen

Laura

[Laura201989]

Thankyou for your advice too, i read your comment everyday just like leftcoastchick.

laura

[birdie0907]

If you have been prescribed a daily med, then you should stick to it, instead of asking for a different one. Those ones you take occassionally don't seem appropriate at this point in your life.
The pharmacies have the 7 day pill-reminder cases, which I use. Just load it up on Sunday as soon as you take that med, for the week starting Monday. and leave it in a prominent place and you can't miss, especially if they are morning meds. If a morning med, take it as soon as you wake up, no exceptions.
My dog requires lots of meds, some twice a day, and it is not possible for me to manage them without this case.
I also used to carry 1 med in my bag in case I didn't have time to take it in the morning when I woke up. My car-pooler was sometimes honking before I could get it down so that is why you need the emergency one, and carry a glass of water. Besides, did you know that your heart dehydrates overnight, and the best thing you can do for heart health that requires minimal effort is to drink 2 glasses as soon as you wake up? Your heart is just a machine, so dehydration means it is not lubricated properly, just like a car.

[Melissa0116]

Hello,

I will tell you that the only person and place that I can go to get the help and compassion that I need is to God or to my Grandma.  Of course, God comes first, but my Grandma was the only one I could ever go to for advice.  She died 2 1/2 year ago and I did not think I would ever feel good and loved again like I did when my Grandma was here.  

I realized that I had to find hope somewhere and that the Bible seemed like a good place to start.  The answers to every one of my issues was always right in the book, I just never wanted to take the time to read and understand it.  I found a book called " A More excellent Way, Be In Health, Spiritual Roots of Disease Pathways to Wholeness" by Henry W. Wright.  I thought that I could never live this life without depression meds and add medication.  

One day I realized that life was worth living and living to the fullest.  It may have taken me 33 years to get to this point but finally I am content with being off the depression meds and getting advice from my father (God), instead of the doctors.  

I have started using a juicer in the morning to help with my energy and mood.  I am not saying that I do not have any down days, but now I realize where I need to go to get comfort and advice.

One day I asked God to heal me from my depression symptoms and was pleasantely suprised to see that this actually works.  I am not saying that I do not struggle, but it is becoming easier and easier each time.

I really hope that this helps.  If you just need a friend or someone to chat with, my heart is always open.

God Bless
Melissa

[dhylles]

I have to agree with Melissa0116 yet again. lol. i have felt the same way you do recently about not being alive to see my 32nd birthday but i was surrounded by my  mom and my siblings to help me cope with it and they all made my birthday the best i have ever had in many years and i just prayed and asked God for guidance and strength. He does not answer your prayers all the time when you need him to and sometimes he does it in his own way and own time and you just have to have faith in him and in yourself. i am still struggling and i do have bad days but reading the bible does help and so does prayer. Seeing a pyschologist/psychiatrist is another good thing to do as well because it does help to speak to a professional and you are doing the right thing by talking about it. I thank God that he has sent me to this site to help others and in the process i am helping myself. Just hang in there.. everything will be okay.

[Independent]

Seeing as your post is a few weeks old, hopefully you're feeling better now. I guess the ups and downs are all part of a natural chemical balance, but a few people feel this a *lot* stronger than others. I have myself often wondered how most of my friends seem to flow though their lives effortlessly, while myself I get stuck on anything along the way or even get drawn into dephts which seem impossible to get out of.

Anti-depressants are a mixed blessing. Firstly it's not only the down periods that are evened out, but also the up times (sorry my English is less than perfect). Also sleep patterns are disturbed. In my opinion getting enough sleep is the most important thing of all when dealing with depression, anxiety, etc. The reason for this is that your nerve system is regenerated while you sleep. Finally, sooner or later, you have to come off the drugs, and the period of withdrawal can be a real pain. For some reason it seems that doctors know very little about this as well.

In my opinion forgetting to take the drugs once in a while isn't a big deal. It may even make it easier to quit, when you feel up to it. Again, this might only apply to myself and is *not* meant to be considered uncritically.

About a week ago I went off Zoloft, almost cold turkey, I just lowered the dosage for a few days and then quit. I really didn't feel like going to the doctor's office... I've never been very expressive and have always felt that my problems are my own. Also I'm not often comfortable talking to people I don't know at all. At least not face to face. Anyway, I've been experiencing the "usual" side effects, at first rather unpleasantly not least because I didn't know that it happens to a lot of people in the same situation. Going though message boards really helped out. Now I've decided to relax and just weather it out. It's said to last for up to four weeks and I guess I can manage.

Well back to you. It's unsettling to hear that you've had severe anxiety all since you were at least 12. Childhood is supposed to be a happy time. Then again, how many people actually have a happy childhood... A lot of changes happen all the time and you wind up more and more confused. At one point though it settles down and ideally you come to terms with yourself and your surroundings. Also you become more and more your own boss, and then you're able to choose what works for YOU. If you want to work, then sooner or later you may find a workplace that gives you the personal space necessary. The same goes with boyfriends and girlfriends, family, friends... Getting older means that you gain some sort of respect. Myself I'm over 30 now, and although i felt like a grown-up at 20 years old I certainly wasn't treated like one.

It's sometimes possible to weed out the stuff that increases anxiety too. Strangely enough it's hard to tell what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad until some time after. My general experience is that nature, animals, music, creativity and close friends keep my chin up. Your dog won't give you a hard time if you feel/act weird one day or even a long period of time. Your friends won't either, ideally. Your artwork may even benefit from it. On the other hand there's materialistic progress, technology, alcohol and similar types of excess... Stuff that will make you unhappy, mostly, even though it gives you a small boost there and then.

To explain why I mention technology, although you're probably not that interested, is that I have a reduced tolerance to electromagnetic radiation (EMF). Just talking on a cell phone makes my ears ring and my pulse quickens. Cordless phones also, especially digital ones with a long range base station. Static electricity, bad wiring... The list goes on. Everybody is more or less affected by this, but for some reason I got this rather badly. Sometimes I wonder how I'll make it, seeing as new technology expands its reach so rapidly. Some time ago though, I decided to take matters in my own hands. I changed office at work, to the furthest spot away from the media rooms and phone transmitters. I threw out all equipment from my apartment that had a volt transformer, all the way down to dimmer switches. Just by doing this I felt better... More in control of myself.

Cause you are, you know, capable of changing both your environment and yourself. Even what seems totally untouchable will in time become different. It's like that Chinese proverb about the drops of water cutting through stone. Anyway, time sign off I guess. I sincerely wish you the best.

And Laura, you *will* make your 21th birthday. And lots more :)