Im not sure if this qualifies as depression or not, or if this is normal or not. Anyways, im 18 years old and do have a lot of pvc's, having thee makes me realize just how fragile life really is. My problem is, I always have death on the mind theres not a day that goes by where i think wow i could die any minute. Its always on my mind.
Its not really that im overlly scared of dieing its jut the fact that I could die any minute as anything could happen. But as I say its always on my mind when im at school in class I think about it, just laying around the house its on my mind.
Im not sure what to do about it and im not to sure if its a form of depression or something else. Thanks.
I'm not a psychiatrist but I have been through depression and my 15 year old son is going through it right now too.
Depression can take many forms. People think of someone who doesn't want to come out of their house, bathe, or is always crying. That's not what the majority of us go through. Many of us get up and go to school/work every day but things just aren't the same. Life turns to just shades of gray. We can't control our thoughts (anxiety) and worries and find our minds going back to something troubling. Some of us get angry for no reason.
There are great resources to help with depression. For my son and I it took a two prong approach: antidepressants and therapy. They often need to go hand in hand. Please talk to your doctor and/or a counselor at your school. Life doesn't have to be this hard.
I know that feeling and it is a nasty nasty feeling...I have come to the conclusion that is a norm for a lot of us and is part of the growing process. And yep you are right we could die any min. thats why you have to take control back of your life (from that little demon that hangs out in your head) and live it like it is the last, consider ourself lucky...Winter is the worst, lack of sunshine sucks, believe it or not laughing makes you feel good, grab a pile of funny DVDs and Veg out, eat popcorn laugh your guts out. Another feel good thing is to keep a journal, write and write and write for some reason that helps, it also shows you where your highs and lows are. I dont know of course if you are close to your paretns but Im sure they are worried and dont know how to talk to you about it,SHOCK them, you talk to them first. Seek help from a a councilor or your doctor even somekind of glergy (you dont need to be religious) and just let it all out leave no detail untold you would be suprised how good that feels to spill your guts, the good the bad the ugly. Hey you were put here for a mission, now get out there and find what it was (lol)
I to think alot of death and I am also being treated for depression. I lost my Dad just 8 months ago and that always seems to trigger thougths of death of loved ones. I don't think that much about my own death however. I know where I am going when I die. It will be heaven and that right there gives me peace. I will see the people that went on before me and I hope to see Jesus. I am a believer in Jesus and I have recieved Jesus into my heart just by asking Him to help me, guide me and forgive all my past,present and future sins. He died on the cross to cover the sins of the world and now lives in heaven and in the hearts of people who believe in Him. Is that the peace you are missing?
PVC's (premature ventricular contractions) are more common than you would think and although they can have consequences, they can be caused by something as simple as a caffeine sensitivity leading to excessive ventricular irritability. Their presence is by no means a death sentence. I assume you have seen a cardiologist and had a thorough work-up. Make a meticulous log of your diet, nutritional and fluid intake, read the lables, and see if there is something in the food that could be causing this. Monosodium glutamate (which has many forms and is in many foods) can sometimes cause PVC's. Every day is a gift, and don't be pre-occupied with dying. Easy enough to say, I guess, but still true.
I don't know if it makes you feel any better but I think about death every day too. It fills me with sadness to think that no matter what you do or how hard you try it's always going to end in death. You can love people as much as you can but eventually it's all going to be gone. I am 27 now and these thoughts have been with me since I was a small child. Thinking of being nothing made me jump out of bed sreaming when I was little and things aren't much different today. I get those feelings more often now. At work, at home, out with friends. The only was I can temporarily cope is to blank it from my mind completely but it's there and it just comes back again. The doctor sent me to a mental health nurse but she never wanted to talk about death. It's weird but understandable, who would want to? I think the only way anyone copes is by not thinking about it. I have no one to talk to. My family, my friends, my partner are all wonderful but they don't want to talk about it. There's no point anyway as there's nothing anyone can do. I guess we just have to try to accept it. It's very hard but perhaps it's all we can do. If acceptance makes you feel happier then I would love to know how you are supposed to accept it.
I thought it was just me being silly everytime i thought about death but websites like this have shown me that a lot of people share the same thoughts on death like me, and that maybe im not mad after all. Most nights i cry myself to sleep thinking of death. Im 16 and my bedroom is downstairs all the rest of my family sleep upstairs, i lie awake worrying if there all ok upstairs and that there all breathing and none of them is hurt. This gets to me so much that i have to get up out of bed and walk into there rooms to see if i can hear them breathe if i cant hear them lets when i start to panic. No one that im really close to has died, but the thought of them dying makes me feel really sad. I always talk about death and my mum thinks im being silly. I really want to go and see someone about it but il feel really stupid talking about my feelings. Im glad that theres other people out there wow feel the same way. I feel for all of you that have lost someone close to you and im sure in time you'l be able to pass this grey cloud in your life and focus on happier times:) X
I too have the same excact problem, i look at things in a whole diffrent way now..i look at random people on the street and i think to myself oneday these people will die bla bla bla all this b.s, and when my family members have fun i think damn one day well die..24-7 my thaughts are death,death,death..things even remind me of things connected to death, but then i say to myself death is far far away i want to live my life without this: ok ill speak to a psycologist but at the same time im going to work on myself by myself with help from a specialist
Im 18 and i think about the same exact thing.. I can look at someone random and say "Man they're gonna die one day, where will they go?" But i dont want to take any antidepressant pills... I can stop thinking about it for a while then thats when it pops right back up in my head... I just want to be happy like everyone else and not think about this right now... I m hoping this will pass.. I lost my appitite, i dont really eat like i am suppsed to.. Things that i love i still wont eat it... Last night i got on my knees and prayed to God, and asked him to let this pass... Im hoping it will soon, very soon because i do not like thinking like this... Before all of this a was a very happy person, who loved to laugh, and talk on the phone with my bestfriend. But now i barely laugh, and i realy dont talk to my bestfriend like that anymore either.. Right now i dont even have my phone turned on.. I m asking God to please let this be something that i can get over... I went to church yesterday to hoping while i was in there i would come out stress/depress free, but that didnt seem to work either. Im asking God to please deliver me from this because i don't like feeling/thinking this way...
Faith based recovery can be helpful but that doesn't contradict the idea of treatment. It still would be worth seeing a psychiatrist as they might be able to help. I, at first was unnerved by the idea of seeking treatment. But it doesn't change who you are as a person. It just stabilizes you and helps you get on with life.
Im 17 years old all i think about is death i wonder if its some sort of sickness. i lost over 22 people in my life and its really depressed lost 3 brothers from gang violence. i lost my cousin from gang violence and its just hard for me because i've seen most of friends die and i watched them not knowing what to do i live with it all my life and its for me to keep my head up im losing people i miss so much and its putting me down... i need help to get through everything i don't talk about my feeling or my emotions i hide them deep inside.
I am also thinking of death and what a horrible idea it is that the human animal is the only race (nope, there are no human races, just ethnic groups, a race is a different animal) that is AWARE of its own death. So what's the point, right? Love and forgiveness and compassion for sure! I am quite depressed right now, hence thinking of death a lot, but what makes me realize that I am NOT that depressed anymore, is that I loathe the idea of being DEAD! That means I somehow love life! Yes, that's it and that's GOOD. But hey, the idea that one will certainly die is still haunting me. I am not at all afraid of something happening to me in terms of that I'd die, I am much more afraid of the concept of BEING DEAD.
that is why life is so precious...it ends....................................I always thought I would have another chance, or find another job or man, or etc......some time there is not another chance,,,there is just today.......I think God or whatever God is to you, gave us this life to enjoy, to be happy, to make a difference....not to waste it.....most people always think there is another day...maybe not.....maybe what you have now is all there is...maybe we need to be grateful!!
I am 65 and I wished I knew these lessons years ago...but I probably would not have listened!!
Whilst all this advise is very encouraging, it doesn't change the fact that one day, the sun is going go out which means that everything on the planet WILL die, this train of thought can be flipped round to your advantage though as it means that we're just a blip on the celestial radr and nothing we do really matters so you may as well do what the **** you like and stop worrying :D xxx
I think about death all time but not in the traditional sense anyways. Death and life is so intertwinded they are praticaly the same. One cannot live without death, We live by consuming dead organism, as you breath your body kills an untold amount of germs, and eventually we all die. And when we do return to earth, the cycle of life and death continues. But what I have learned most of all is that only when you lost the fear of death can you ever truley be free.
I'm soo confused I just googled and got this site because I to think about death everyday I just can't get it out my head like I just realized that 2morrow is not a guarantee and I'm blessed everyday I walk out the door and I am able to come back home safely I just don't know what happen to me and y I feel like this I just know life is short and I want to live mines not worrying about death and things that aren't going to matter.. When I was little and I use to watch the news I always said that stuff like that wouldn't happen to me until my aunt and uncle and my father were all murdered. Then I realized it could but I for the 1st time in life is wondered about weather I will live to c another day I sometimes find my self worried about things that use to not be a content with b4. I need help maybe I should pray more and hardly start going to church whatever I need I need to find out soon. I'm scared for my life everyday not a good way to live I need help SOMEONE PLEASE!!
You have opened up an old thread, but you are welcome here.
Counseling will help. How did you deal with that incredibly hard trauma? Do you feel you have dealt with it. It sounds like you are starting to suffer from depression and i would advise getting treatment of some sort because it may not get better on its own.
I am dealing with the same thing right and felt that I was alone in this. I just dont know what to do b/c I am miserable with the thought that one day I will die along with everyone else I know. I think about this 24-7 and not one day much less a couple hours goes by that I dont think about this and I hate it. I used to hardly ever think about death but this has been going on for several months now and I dont know why. Its like I woke up morning thinking about it and havent stoped every since. I dont know what is wrong with me but wish there was some way to make it stop so that I can enjoy the life I do have at the present time. Everyone around me acts like this never crosses their mind so makes me think I am crazy but it makes it VERY hard to live life when all you can think about is "whats the point b/c we are going to die one day anyways". It it driving me absolutly crazy and I dont know what to do! Please someone help me understand...
This post have resonated in me! Beautiful, honest and brave enough to mention the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. I just disagree with the conclusion: the solution is not accepted death. We can die? Yes, but we live in a time when it is plausible to fight against this inevitability before surrendering. See:
"Everyone around me acts like this never crosses their mind so makes me think I am crazy"
For my part, I can say that this also happend to me. What I found most strange was the fact that the death is a taboo topic and had the impression that there was an elephant (a brontosaurus, perhaps) in the middle of the room and despite all the discomfort caused by this huge animal, no one had courage to mention it! Later I realized that people who do not speak or do not think about death are equally (or more) panicked that I. They only have found in religion a placebo that satisfies them. With transhumanist ideas I found the attitude which I think is the right one: instead of putting my head in a hole and pretend things are fine, try to do objectively something about this unpleasant aspect of human existence. I recommend the movie "Transcendent Man", which approaches well the question of death.
I been thinking about death for a week now, and it's just TERRIBLE, the concept of dying and what happenes AFTERWARDS is what is bothering me, I'm just 17 (very young indeed.) some might say i haven't experenced life yet .. ect ect... my diet has changed. the thoughts of my loved ones around me will die eventually... My grades have even dropped...everything will be distroyed, the sun will blow up and distroy earth ,Human race won't even last forever, for billions of years? too hard to believe, Im not asking for people with "religious" views to help me, because to me, religion is just a confort for the concept death itself, I'm pretty sure the thought of us "not existing" one we die freaks us right out... (it does to me) it's like before we where born, no "self awareness" or conscious, but what's interesting is that the human spirit (soul) EXISTS, the question is, can you distroy something that has been already created? Answer is no. You might distroy its physical from but it does not mean it did not get exist (for example smash a rock with a hammer)... I dont know if everyone here is a big fan of "paranormal" things, but I have been involved with the subject once and (witnessed/heard) someone get possessed, you might laugh at the idea, because people and movie producers cracked it out and made movies / wild claims about it, just like 2012 "the end of the world" just because the Mayans stopped the calendar, to see outside the box. we humans don't even understand the concept of the whole universe and how it was even created in the first place, and billion of years later a thing called "life" appeared , we don't even exactly know what life is in reality.
So we don't really know what happenes "after" we pass away in our physical forms. I surfed the web and tried to help my depression by clicking links after links... all I found was forums of people with my same problem, but with religious/phycaitrist/medically influenced (pills) people giveing there opinion, on how to "help" which is a unnatural way to deal with this. We ourslefs. Has built this doubt and version/theory of death for ourslefs, and we are the only ones to overcome it by the same way. BY OURSELVES... I want my old care-free life back, where I didn't have panic attacks , or the thought that we are comeing closer to death / every minute we are dying , scared of going to sleep because it's like dying type of views. But yet, everyone goes through this. People who don't talk or even say anything about "death" are avoiding the subject itself, we are accepting knowledge knowing our own "limited" awareness, it's sad that the human race is the only race that tries to comprehend the "what happens after" subject. Your brain bugs you and asks "what happens after I die?" and each time you feel depressed, and pain and suffer, your brain is basically asking for information for this, and it receives different types of versions (by your assumptions) on what happens afterward. the only way I found to help is saying "I don't know" and stop trying to apply logic to it in the first place, because in reality you are making ASSUMPTIONS. This is normal stage for people, so don't you think you are alone.
But. The truth is, man is not meant to know everything.
Death is a peaceful thing.
I might be emotionally stressed and still need some help, but I'm pretty sure that everyone will get over this subject one day... And even faster when we are around people that understands/feels what we are going through.
Its not a over-night thing, it takes TIME in my perspective...
Hope this helped some of you...and hope some of you will help me~
Hey everyone I've been wanting to post things that I feel that concerns me and my health. I am constantly worrying about myself it is also on and off but this time it's been for a while almost a month. It's been one year that i've moved from my home to a farther and larger country and have been feeling homesick since day 1. I am a very sensitive person and emotional I have lived one year with my friends in the country but went for a vacation back home , I felt like nothing is real and constantly worrying about if this things are real or not. I feel like I'm going crazy cause I know that it's real but I'm thinking otherwise and that if I die I would no longer feel like this. I don't know why but I don't know what to do with my life anymore and I am not going to kill myself that makes me even more scared and worried. I am missing my family so much that I feel a huge weight on my body. I want things to be normal as it used to be when I was younger, carefree and naive. But now I just want to go back home and be with my family at the risk of not seeing my friends for 4-5 years. I am 19 now and will be turning 20 in October. I don't know if it's the start of depression or not but I am sleeping well. I am going to go to a psychologist to have an advice or treatment because I know this extreme feeling is not healthy for me and I still want to live and die Old.... Please can someone understand why I am feeling the way I am? This all started since I had a panic/anxiety attack out of no where again...
I have the same things... I know you posted this almost 3 yEARS AGO but has it gotten better for you .. my dad past away in 2006 mnonths wentr by and I thought I was coping well then all of a sudden I thought to myself one day "I" will die , and that's when my brain didn't shut off im on depressioin meds but I feel like that is a cover up I haven't fixed the root problem I don't know if there is any fixing because one day it "WILL happen .,,.,
You have to come to a place of acceptance, when we die nothing changes on the world, it carries on the same and we are not that significant.
Try mediation and mindfulness, because logically when you have these thoughts that you could die any moment then surely you should enjoy every moment. But your depression is preventing you from doing this.
Best of luck, you will come through this phase and you will see the colour and joy in life once again.
I'm 13 and have not long lost my grandad to cancer. I was extremely close to my grandad and was devastated when I found out he died. The day he died I insisted on going to the hospital to see him one last time even tho he was already gone, I felt like I had to say goodbye... All my family told me that it was a bad idea but I didn't want to believe that he was dead and I needed to see him just to prove it to myself. It's coming up to 1 year since he died this year and I have school tomorrow yet I'm still lead awake thinking of my grandad. All this week I have gone to bed around 10 pm but led awake crying and seeing the day he died replay over and over again in my head. I haven't been going to sleep till at least 5 am every night which really isn't good for my school work or anything. Does anybody have any suggestions that I could do, I've spoken to my mum about it and she said that I should go to bed a bit later so that I am more tiered I've tried this and had no success, after trying this she suggested going to see a doctor, I really don't want to see a doctor because I'm really private about who I talk to and I wouldn't like to open up to a stranger(the doctor) please give me some advice because the more I lay awake remembering the day he died the more it's messing with my head
Aw sweetie, I'm so sorry you're hurting. You're very young, and you're experiencing grief over losing your grandfather. Grief is a normal process, to an extent, until it starts disrupting our lives, including things like eating, sleeping, concentrating. You're very smart to identify that you're struggling with this.
Don't ever feel badly for needing help, it's totally okay, and actually shows your strength and maturity. It's great that you've talked to your Mom. Have you talked to her about more than your trouble sleeping? Have you confided in her that you're thinking a lot about when your grandfather died? If not, please do that, okay? Your Mom would absolutely want to know that you're hurting.
Also, I think it would be very helpful for you if you asked your Mom if you could talk to a therapist for a while, about how you're feeling, especially about your grandfather. Sure, you might feel a little funny at first opening up, but that's the job of a therapist, to listen, support you, and offer suggestions for ways to get through this. There is NO shame in asking for help. We're emotional sensitive beings, and sometimes we need a little help getting through tough times...especially at your age. While you're clearly super smart, and mature for your age, you're still young and developing, which makes handling something as big and traumatic as the loss of a loved one very very hard.
Please come back and talk to us, tell us how you're doing, okay? Please go talk to your Mom, don't wait. I think you'll feel so much better to get some of this off your chest.
I am sorry to hear that your grandfather died, Yes, It is really tough to lose someone who you love very much and was a big part of your life. I lost my sister around this time of year recently to cancer, so I am doing a lot of remembering. I went through the same thing you are going through. It was hard sleeping, and like you, I replayed in my head over and over when and how she died. I don't think there is any pain like it when you lose someone that close to you.
No one really seems to understand what I went through, not even the people who went through something like it. I had a therapist, a few doctors, and lots of friends and family who went through losing people who made a big difference in their lives. It helped when they shared their experiences, but still, no one really knows how I really felt and what I was going through. I used to dread going to sleep, because it was more dradful waking up in the morning and knowing that it was another day knowing she wasn't reachable anymore. It's totally different when you lose someone that close to you, who was always there for you.
Grieving is very personal. It also is personal how long you grieve. There really isn't a deadline or timeline on how long it takes to grieve. If you read about it, people talk about it going through stages. i knew all about it, but I never actually went through it, until my sister died. It's more like something that you go through rather than think through, because a lot of feelings are present.
I don't know if you get to go to visit where he was buried or where his ashes are. It helped me for awhile to visit, talk and place flowers on the grave. It also helps to keep something close to me that meant something to my sister. I wore my sister's necklace every day. These days, I carry a picture of her with me all the time. For awhile, after she died, the most recent picture of her was on my bedroom door, so I could say hello to her when I woke up. I found out that a lot of people who lost people suddenly and unexpectedly did that. I now have a picture of her when she was at her happiest moment on the wall.
She may not be physically around, but in my heart, I really feel she is still a part of my life. She definitely was a big influence on me. I didn.'t really know how much she meant to me until she was gone. There were times when I regretted not spending more time with her, but these days, I come to cherish every bit of memory about her.
It doesn't hurt or feel so crazy or messed up like the first 2 years.It feels like you are mess but that is grief. When I thought I was going downhill, I called a grief counselor.I asked him, if I was going crazy because I tried to call my sister on her birthday and I expected her to answer even though I knew she died a year ago. Her phone was disconnected months before, so I got the "no longer in service" message and it was heartbreaking. He just said, I wasn't going crazy, and that it was raw grief. It was a relief to hear him say that. He invited me to participate in a grief group, and I went to a group that had 5 other people who lost someone. It was too hard for me to be around people with that much pain as I was in. I did better with a grief counselor who saw only me. The grief counselor supported me while I grieved. I needed assurance that it was okay to grieve the way I did. I couldn't tell because the pain of loss was overwhelming. I didn't have any more urges to try to call her up after I talked to the grief counselor over the phone.
If you talk to your mother, she can probably find someone like that. I looked up a hospice in my city, and they connected me with the grief counselor. They offered it free or what people can pay. There were a few people who couldn't pay. I am sure they have something for your age group. People from different ages, cultures and life experience grieve differently, as well as personally. It did help me to know I wasn't "abnormally a mess," because other people were hurting like me and were also disrupted by grief. It doesn't mean you are going off the deep end.
i'm private too, and picky about who I talk to, but it did help me, when I was at ease and felt comforted to talk to another person who knew what I was going through wasn't really abnormally weird or crazy. For the most part, we all had trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating. It would be more concerning if you didn't feel anything.
Frankly, my therapist and my doctor didn't know grief very well, and they said so. My doctor did not give me medications for grief, but he listened to me and he was kind. He offered me a lot of kleenex, and from the look on his face, he could feel my pain. He took it seriously when I told him what I was going through. I just wanted someone to hear me out, When I was just dealing with it in my head, it would just spin around and went nowhere. Talking about it, helped me to let the pain go somewhere and lessen it inside of me. I also wrote stories, creates art, made charitable donations for organizations in things my sister cared about like music, art, and cats; and I planted a tree and said it was for my sister.
It matters how you feel about your grandfather, and what you are going through. The hurting, the missing, the painful realization that you won't hear what they have to say or see or touch them, the feeling of being alone even when you have a lot of friends and family around you, and the lack of answers to hard questions that keep coming up will lessen in time.
I turned it around to myself. If I was the one who died, I know I would want my sister to know I loved her and even after my breath is gone, to know that love isn't gone. I would want her to make the best out of her life and live fully. I would want her to know that all that matters is how that love for her still carries her through life, because she and all those who know me, are my legacy and a part of me, and to always live in the present and look forward while remembering the good we did and I wish for her. It helped me to know that my sister was like-minded in this. We really believed that, in the end, what really matters is the love we leave behind, and that we are still supported and championed by the people we love. That doesn't go away.
I have to agree depression takes many forms, one form in particular that is uncurable but controllable seems to be the form of depression that untreated adhd gives you in later life. Untreated ADHD in adults makes them unable to concntrate or focus on anything for any length of time. This is kind of where everything is boring or everything is grey feeling starts to begin. When you cannot finish something because you feel like you hit a wall with your brain. almost like writers block but more like a very dull headache which is kind of feeling down and bored its hard to describe it exactly. Anyway the fact that untreated adhd does cause this means that unless you treat the adhd you will never get rid of depression. Now my point here is that if you go on adhd meds you may see your depression dissapear but your adhd as far as i know isnt cureable only manageable.. this means youd be on the meds the rest of your life. However reading experiences of other people on these meds they seem to live a slightly better than normal life so its not all bad.
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