should i fire my therapist?

Question

hi, just wondering in session today something happened and I need advice. my therapist who I have seen on and off for a couple years, answered his cell phone in the middle of our session. I guess apparently some pipes burst in his house and his wife was calling him, so he is taking the phone call right there so I say should we do this another time? and he says ill be right back and leave the room to take his call. Well I got really upset so I just walked out and went home. He called me about ten minutes later and left a message he apologized for the short session and wanted to reschedule.  But to give some background I self harm have had problems with suicide ideation and the past week my anxiety about choking has got so bad I stopped eating solid foods. this whole experience has wrecked me I keep thinking wow you cant even pay someone to give a **** about you. I don't even know what im doing maybe I just cant get any better, anyways is this reasonable for someone to do this to me or is he just a lousy therapist?

Jinx_777 · Answer

i guess i should explain my comment a little further.  if he knew you were in crisis, then i find it horrible that he took the call.  if you had not told him how you have been cutting and the suicidal ideations, then i agree you overreacted.  but, if he knew and took the call i think it is wrong.  
you are dealing with life the best you can right now.  how you reacted was what was right for you at the time.  hindsight is always 20 20.

Jinx_777 · Answer

you have every right to be upset and i would stop seeing him.
years ago i was seeing a therapist for similar issues and he would fall asleep about 5 mins into it and i would just sit there until the timer went off.  he would wake up and grab his script pad and write a script.  i don't know why i didn't walk out or wake him up.  he died not long after that, but it sure did not help me with my issues.  made them WAY worse.  it is NOT you, it is a crappy therapist.  there are better ones out there and i would find one

pinknblue · Answer

I am depressed for 20 yrs or more and when you are doing ok for a while and an incident occurs and I react deeply, more than the incident required. Tons more. It sets me off on a depressive binge sometimes because I cannot cope with this bump in the road. Hell then I cannot move forward till I get over the bump. I hope you can get over the bump so you can get what for came for. Good luck.

nursegirl6572 · Answer

No, you most definitely didn't do anything horrible!  You reacted, you're having a rough time, and in the moment, you took his phone call personally.  It's perfectly fine.

Just make sure you share everything with him when you see him, including all of the things you wrote about here.  It's important that he know the extent of how you're feeling.

Hang in there hon!

amandaelmo · Answer

I emailed him and wrote : "Just wanted to mention sorry if u got insulted when I took off today. im having a really hard time right now. I don't know what else to say" and he wrote back "thanks see you next week" I don't know why but I feel extremely bad and guilty about the whole thing to the point where I cut myself over it. I know its ridiculous and im not really sure why I feel so bad. it must be more about something else cause doesn't really make sense I mean its not like I really did anything so horrible to someone but I feel awful like I am the most horrible person, I don't really understand why I guess that's just how I roll, ugh

nursegirl6572 · Answer

Woah now.  What you did hardly equates to you being a *bleep*.  Not even close.  You just reacted, and instead of waiting a few minutes, your emotions got the best of you.  It really isn't that big a deal, and I'm SURE your therapist will understand perfectly.

Just call him up and reschedule, as he wanted to do, and then you can talk about it with him at your appointment.

amandaelmo · Answer

Yea I totally over reacted I feel like anasshole which indeed I am

amandaelmo · Answer

Yea I totally over reacted I feel like anasshole which indeed I am

nursegirl6572 · Answer

While I wouldn't normally agree with taking a call in the middle of a therapy session, I think you overreacted.  Has he ever done this before?  It doesn't sound like it, and frankly, pipes bursting is an emergency, so it was an urgent call.

You could have just as easily waited a few minutes, and then expressed to him that you were upset rather than walking out and not allowing him a chance to reassure you.  

I would consider taking an honest look at his actions and YOUR reaction as well.  If you can't get past it, then definitely find another therapist.  I think it wouldn't hurt to make another appt, and talk it through with him.

Let us know what you decide, and how you're doing.

krisnile · Answer

Hi just write to use we or I will listen and talk you though.  This place sure helped me...yes it was rude what he did, but don't blame yourself okay it want you it was stuiped *** okay dear..well best of luck...I was in a dark place after my parents died omg I reached out here saved my life.

babyberry000 · Answer

If he makes you feel uncomfortable you need to switch therapists otherwise you will  dwell in the Situation. Rather than seeing a therapist i think you should find a specialist that handles your specific situation. Therapists are good for general needs but you have a specific self harming situation. I would find a specialist that your comfortable with, you're paying for them to help you, so don't settle for any therapist or specialist. Find one you like, one your comfortable with, one that will pay attention to your needs. Also, i find that women specialists, and or therapists have a more welcoming, motherly, caring nature to them opposed to male ones. I hope you find the specialist your looking for, good luck on your journey
:)