Aa
who can i talk to?
I have just read been reading a few posts relating to depression and i feel like thats me. I feel like im watching the real me disappear as i get dragged under. Im 21 i have a pretty care free life im at uni, which i love i have great friends and family an amazing boyfriend and yet i feel so unhappy, i am shutting people out and i feel im running my relationship into the ground, my boyfriend knows something is wrong but i cant open upto him about it, i feel like he wont understand but when i think about who i could talk to i dont think there is anyone. I know this is more than hormones i feel like im losing myself, like im being taken over by this miserable person, i have alot to look forward to but i cant find the motivation. I dont know if im depressed? its been goin on for a few months now but is that too early to diagnose it? I know i should talk to a doctor but im scared!!! i dont know what to say? i feel like they will think im just over reacting? but right now i dont see anything else pulling me out of this! HELP!
4Maddie has some good points. Since she hasn't responsed yet, I will tell you that I took a med for 6 months and they were as enjoyable as it gets, considering that I even got fired from my job due to some lies but my pulse didn't even really bounce at the time. In my doc's words, you need the med to remember what it is like to be happy again.
Meds aren't guaranteed to work, and there are lots of horror stories of people who transition from med to med but not getting any relief. If you need meds though, living with dep is not an alternative because you never know how well they will work until you try. The first one I tried only gave limited relief until about 4 PM when the grey skies would just drop down to my level and like 4M says, there is no reason for it to happen so you can't predict it. It is different for everyone.
The dep peeled away week after week until the 8th when the med had time to rewire the dep away and allow you to live your life. I only quit because I had experienced enough of living without dep that I was able to go back to my normal life and haven't felt any dep since, which was over a year ago. Considering that I was spending 50 seconds of every minute fighting dep before meds, I never believed life could possibly be normal again.
Follow BettyBuys advice too, because we can't diagnose you from here, so it is wise to check the alternatives to meds with professionals. Don't delay though, because a second depression almost guarantees it will be chronic the rest of your life. That is a medical stat, not some personal experience idea of mine.
I knew there would be no support at home and hid it from my spouse until he found out I was taking dep meds. As expected, there was no support offered, so you may have to power through the whole process alone, because people who do not have it can't possibly imagine how a sane person can have this hit them all of a sudden. Some people have to take meds the rest of their life, but there is no shame in that.
The hard thing about living with dep and assessing your options is trying to also self assess how badly you feel at a time when you don't feel so hot. No one can do that for you, unfortunately.
Meds aren't guaranteed to work, and there are lots of horror stories of people who transition from med to med but not getting any relief. If you need meds though, living with dep is not an alternative because you never know how well they will work until you try. The first one I tried only gave limited relief until about 4 PM when the grey skies would just drop down to my level and like 4M says, there is no reason for it to happen so you can't predict it. It is different for everyone.
The dep peeled away week after week until the 8th when the med had time to rewire the dep away and allow you to live your life. I only quit because I had experienced enough of living without dep that I was able to go back to my normal life and haven't felt any dep since, which was over a year ago. Considering that I was spending 50 seconds of every minute fighting dep before meds, I never believed life could possibly be normal again.
Follow BettyBuys advice too, because we can't diagnose you from here, so it is wise to check the alternatives to meds with professionals. Don't delay though, because a second depression almost guarantees it will be chronic the rest of your life. That is a medical stat, not some personal experience idea of mine.
I knew there would be no support at home and hid it from my spouse until he found out I was taking dep meds. As expected, there was no support offered, so you may have to power through the whole process alone, because people who do not have it can't possibly imagine how a sane person can have this hit them all of a sudden. Some people have to take meds the rest of their life, but there is no shame in that.
The hard thing about living with dep and assessing your options is trying to also self assess how badly you feel at a time when you don't feel so hot. No one can do that for you, unfortunately.
shes given me some leaflets to have a read through, i havent got round to it yet though, i read the one about depression and it made me panic i just sat in my room and cried, its hard to get my head round.
I dont know what i think, i guess i kind of expected someone to tell me what is best for me. It scares me to think its going to take awhile to recover, is that normal? Did u take the medication?
I dont know what i think, i guess i kind of expected someone to tell me what is best for me. It scares me to think its going to take awhile to recover, is that normal? Did u take the medication?
It is up to you whether you take the medication. Your boyfriend does not really understand how you are feeling. I am so glad you have seen a doctor and a counsellor. Can you talk to close friends or relatives? It is really good you have found this site. We all know how you feel, and are very supportive. Please keep posting here, we can make you feel less alone with your feelings. I know I was very surprised when I was diagnosed with depression. I thought I was physically ill as tired all the time. There does not have to be a reason to be depressed. That is a misconception. For me it comes from nowhere for no reason. Some people know that something triggered their depression, but for a lot of us it comes out of the blue. Why we ask? But there is no answer. It just happens. Yes it is a black hole. You do what you feel is right for you. Did the doctor explain about the medication to you. Only you can decide whether you want to take it.
Now remember we all care about you, and want to know how you get on. Keep on telling us how you are.
Big hug
Now remember we all care about you, and want to know how you get on. Keep on telling us how you are.
Big hug
I've spoken to my boyfriend, only thru text i couldnt find the words to tell him properly, he says hes thought that for a while that im depressed, but he's said to not accept any drugs which a doctor might be offered, that il pull through after my exams. But this is exactly what makes me feel like he doesnt understand, i cant even focus on revision for 5mins never mind enough to pass my exams, i dont feel like it will just pass i feel like im in a black hole and each day it gets deeper, now im home from uni my work doesnt bother me but im still feeling like this, i know somethings not right and i know i need help, he says im happy and bubbly enough to pull through but its exactly that that makes me know somethings not right. Is he right should i avoid medication? will counselloring really help when i dont think there is a reason for me to be epressed!!!
Thank you for the advice, i took the first step today and spoke to the doctor, it was strange coz even as i spoke i felt she wouldn.t understand, but she was great she spoke about a consellor and medication, but before that she wants to take some blood tests to rule out any other causes. She gave me some lealets on depression and as i read them i feel like whoever wrote them understands, im hoping il pull through soon, im going to try talk to my boyfriend about it, its hard though because i feel weak i feel like he'll think im mad, and i dont want to scare him off. Though somewhere i know i wont because we have good relationship, it's still hard to open up. I have some things to think about in regards to treatment but it's hard when thinking about talking to a counsellor because i don't think theres anything they could say which would help, i know they are qualified and i respect them alot i just feel in my case there isnt anything in my life making me depressed, and i dont know what talking about it would do. I know that may sound naive. Thank you all so much for your replies it has been great, now when things get really tough i feel i can come on here and people will understand, its great.
Hello dear Jaes,
It is sad to feel like things are deteriorating as you do.
You know this is more than hormones as you have said and it's been going on for a few months so far.
It is very easy to feel you are depressed when you read other's stories telling of their own feelings and so on. Very easy, as grief, sadness and depression are identical initially. It's something that may be depression or may relieve itself depending on the cause.
I would strongly suggest you simply see your local doctor first. You can be referred to a psychiatrit or a psychologist if you and the doctor think it's the right thing to do.
Please do not even consider medication at this stage, that's way too premature and is something that will scare you off before you even speak with a doctor. Psychologists and psychiatrists do not go to school. They attend univeristy, work in hospitals and practice as their profession pending final certification. In other words, they work with real people with real problems and not just books.
A chemical imbalance is also something many are confused about.
Chemical imbalance occurs in those who have genetic depression and also in anyone who deveops depression over time. In other words, again, they all have chemical imbalances. Else medication would never be prescribed as it's purpose, for all, is to rebalance the chemical structure of the brain.
This misunderstanding goes back some decades when experts were split on genetic or reactionary reasons for depression. This was resolved years ago but some still stick with the information, although it's been superceded.
Essentially dear, the way to deal with this is see the local doctor and discuss your circumstances with the doctor. From there it is up to you which way you go but from what I read medication is not on the menu at all. Counselling is likely the second step, at this stage. Medication is there for later, if and when needed.
From what you have written it is not possible to diagnose you as having depression and to indicate you do suffer such is premature and may be ill founded. All doctors should firstly consider any physical causes before jumping to psychiatrists and medication. Always.
Good luck dear and could I suggest you take your boyfreind with you to the doctor's. It helps you be more likely not to hide anything and he may also raise some things you have forgotten. Good support too..
It is sad to feel like things are deteriorating as you do.
You know this is more than hormones as you have said and it's been going on for a few months so far.
It is very easy to feel you are depressed when you read other's stories telling of their own feelings and so on. Very easy, as grief, sadness and depression are identical initially. It's something that may be depression or may relieve itself depending on the cause.
I would strongly suggest you simply see your local doctor first. You can be referred to a psychiatrit or a psychologist if you and the doctor think it's the right thing to do.
Please do not even consider medication at this stage, that's way too premature and is something that will scare you off before you even speak with a doctor. Psychologists and psychiatrists do not go to school. They attend univeristy, work in hospitals and practice as their profession pending final certification. In other words, they work with real people with real problems and not just books.
A chemical imbalance is also something many are confused about.
Chemical imbalance occurs in those who have genetic depression and also in anyone who deveops depression over time. In other words, again, they all have chemical imbalances. Else medication would never be prescribed as it's purpose, for all, is to rebalance the chemical structure of the brain.
This misunderstanding goes back some decades when experts were split on genetic or reactionary reasons for depression. This was resolved years ago but some still stick with the information, although it's been superceded.
Essentially dear, the way to deal with this is see the local doctor and discuss your circumstances with the doctor. From there it is up to you which way you go but from what I read medication is not on the menu at all. Counselling is likely the second step, at this stage. Medication is there for later, if and when needed.
From what you have written it is not possible to diagnose you as having depression and to indicate you do suffer such is premature and may be ill founded. All doctors should firstly consider any physical causes before jumping to psychiatrists and medication. Always.
Good luck dear and could I suggest you take your boyfreind with you to the doctor's. It helps you be more likely not to hide anything and he may also raise some things you have forgotten. Good support too..
If you are at the Uni, there are probably free counselors available. There is no reason to be afraid to talk to them because it is your life that may be improved, and you will never see them again anyway.
You may just need a change of scene, because Uni is demanding and I always hated it within the first two weeks of any semester.
You may just need a change of scene, because Uni is demanding and I always hated it within the first two weeks of any semester.
Don't be afraid to go the the Doctor. Even your primary care Doctor can help you out. And, just remember anything that you have to say they've probably heard worse. You are definatly not alone and should not feel ashamed or afraid to seek help. Your on the rite track. Hang in there. There will be light at the end of the tunnel. You picked a great site to ask advice from. Just keep the communication open. Good luck. Be Well.
You're very welcome. We were all afraid in the beginning like you, it's the unknown that scares us. You don''t even have to say "I'm depressed" just say "I don't know what's wrong." He'll handle the rest. They know how difficult it is for us, and to talk about our problems, so he is prepared for all this and wants to put you at ease first and foremost. It says a lot about what good character you have in acknowledging that you have a problem and that your life doesn't need to be this way. Stay strong!
Thank you so much for that. I just think its the initial seeing a doctor and coming out with "i think i'm depressed". im just nervous, i know it needs to be done though because i don't want to live like this.
You do sound depressed, and there are so many of us who are. Sometimes we may not even know why, and sometimes it can be a chemical imbalance. Please see a psychiatrist, they can help you sort thru your issues, and if needed put you on medication. Don't be afraid to see a psychiatrist, they have gone to school a long time to help people like us. Once you are there, he will ask you questions and before you know it, everything is pouring out...really. When you are changing as a person, and not one you want to be, and this is affecting your realtionships, lack of motivation are symptoms of depression. Please take that first step and see the doctor. There is no reason for you to be so unhappy when you have so much to look forward to. We're always here to support you thru this, so feel free to vent to us, we will help in any way we can. Take care.....
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