Over 3 years ago my (ex)wife found out that I cheated on her. It wasn't anything bad (did not sleep with her) but I did it. This is not the kind of person I am. I had never cheated on anyone in my life. I did it and it ruined my marriage. We separated in September of 2007 and she was dating a guy by the first of October. Our divorce finalized in December of 2007 and she remarried in August of 2008. We have a 5 year old daughter and she is the world to me. However, I am having trouble moving. I finally come to terms that I was still in love with her even as late as last December. I tried dating but after 2 or 3 dates I would break it off. I have dated 4 girls since my divorce but felt nothing for them. I am 39 and lonely and feel convinced that I will be like this for the rest of my life because it is what I deserve.
It's time to accept what has happened and your divorce was you paying the piper for hurting the one who loved you. It's over, and time to move on. It's not too late to be a good role model for your daughter and not allow her to see or sense your depression. Therapy will help you accept all of this. You have choices in life, you chose to cheat, now choose to live your life and move on. Maybe you're not ready to date, concentrate on getting yourself in a better place emotionally and building your relationship with your daughter. You've paid for what you did, let it go so you can move on.
My ex and I have a very good relationship. I feel that's the best I can offer. I actually played cards with her new husband a couple of weeks ago. It's just hard because she was the one that I chose to be with and not anyone else. It's hard to get that out of my head. I just hope someone comes along to change my mind. It is also hard because I am not a partying type that goes to bars and clubs and the people on dating websites are just strange :)
Here's hoping that continuing therapy can get me out of this.
I was in similar situation. Always in dream about my ex. Then, years later, my mother almost died of liver failure. This bigger problem of losing mom made me forget the little problem of separation from wife. Separation from wife does not any longer bother me much. Moral?: bigger problems in life can help you forget little ones
If you have never done this before, and this was your first time and it is your wife you truely loved did anything come of this? Did you learn anything? Were you having any trouble with your wife at the time? There is a lesson learned in all things and maybe that was something you needed to realize something else.
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