I seperated with my wife in mid november last year. I do not blame her for leaving me because for 1 reason or another I didn't fulfill my duties to her as a husband. We both admited our errors and we want to get back together as soon as we get little financialy stable. She is 23 and I am 28. We have a 20 month old baby.
However, her family, where she lives now, found out about our plans and made some strict rules. They do not allow her to speak to me alone, not even regarding the baby. We used to talk up to 10 times a day and even went out but now she writes me a text message every day or 2.
She admited that her family is opressing her but she cannot do nothing about it at the moment. In her culture, parents must be obeyed. However I see no reason my marriage should die and my son to grow with 1 parent only. I love her and she loves her but we cannot get back together immediately due to financial reasons. Her family has no right to do this.
Going to police wouldn't help because my wife wouldn't admit the abuse, partly out of fear and partly because she loves them.
I wander what can I do. My wife says to be patient and things will work out but I do not see it that way since her family doesn't even talk to me. I feel hopeless and helpless. My plan is to stick with our deal and save some money and get back together but Im worried if they convince her or brainwash her to forget me.
If I tell them they should stop doing that then they might even make her stop talking to me completely.
PS. We didn't go through court, we made a deal regarding the baby and agreed to have it signed eventually.
I should add, there is posibility that my wife met someone else and is just using her family as an excuse. She says it is not true.
If this was the case then I would accept it and move on, but if it is her family, it is hard when 2 people love each other and are forced to be seperated. So I need to make sure it is true what she is saying, and if it is, need to find a way to change her family's mind about me by proving to them that I am not lazy and will support my wife and kid(their reason for hating me) , or just get back together when it is time but am afraid my wife will change her mind untill then.
I'm sorry you and your wife are having difficulties and I pray that you will work them out, especially since you have a child together. I'm not sure where you live, which could have a major impact on your parental rights, but I live in the United States and both parents have rights to their children. No matter how her parents might act, find out what your parental rights are where you live. You should be able to find this information freely on the internet. Also,you imply that you and your wife are from different cultures, would you be able to say what culture each of you is from? By understanding her culture, this may help you to determine how you might want to proceed with dealing with her family. I understand their concern for their daughter if you two are having financial problems, but I wonder why her family isn't trying to help you stay together instead of keeping you apart.
You sound like you really love your wife and child and that you want to take the steps to keep your family together so stay on that path and do what you need to do to improve your life and get your family back together. If your wife loves you as she says she does, than there's nothing her family can do that will change her mind. Stay in touch with her as much as possible, tell her what you are doing to bring you back together and have faith in your love for each other. Being apart is hard but you are working on building a better life for each other so hold on to that and realize that all the sacrifice now will be worth the rewards later. Communication is important so keep talking to her. I wish you well and will keep you in my prayers.
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