Aa
4th stage kidney disease?
Hello everyone, My 9 year old Yorkie Memae was diagnosed with kidney disease 3 years ago this month. She has been on special RX diet since. At that time the Dr. told me she could live for another 6 months to 2 1/2 yrs. This past week she stopped eating her rx dog food, drinks water and urinates normally but is very sleepy/lathargic but still loves walks and meeting her dog friends. My questions are many but could someone tell me when we speak of suffering what exactly how are they suffering....she sleeps so much, will only eat tiny amounts of found off my finger but I'm not sure what to be looking for as far as her being in pain...she is depressed and tired except when we go for our walks...she is then almost her happy excited self....Please advise me if you know what I should be looking for. She has vomited only twice since this turned for the worse 6 days ago. Thank you all so much! Marilyn A. Roche ***@****
COMMUNITY LEADER
That is very good that she made it already to 3 years since being diagnosed. My dog was fairly recently diagnosed with very early stage kidney insufficiency, so although I have learned a lot recently, there is so much I do not know.
However, there are medications that will help her....Has she been prescribed ACE inhibitors? I don't know the level of help they will give at late stage KF, but you could efinitely ask your vet about this. ACE inhibitors increase blood flow to the kidneys.
Then there are anti-nausea drugs.
If she won't eat her prescription diet, is there a canned option? Sometimes they will eat canned when they won't eat dry.
It does sound as though she still has a lot going for her, and is still enjoying life.
I'd say speak to your vet about any possible options for treatment
However, there are medications that will help her....Has she been prescribed ACE inhibitors? I don't know the level of help they will give at late stage KF, but you could efinitely ask your vet about this. ACE inhibitors increase blood flow to the kidneys.
Then there are anti-nausea drugs.
If she won't eat her prescription diet, is there a canned option? Sometimes they will eat canned when they won't eat dry.
It does sound as though she still has a lot going for her, and is still enjoying life.
I'd say speak to your vet about any possible options for treatment
Hello Marilyn & welcome.....I'm sorry you found us under these circumstances.....However, I'm glad your here...
Sounds like you've done a wonderful job with your little one......There's another (lengthy) thread about Kidney Disease on this forum.....It is titled: "4th Stage Renal Failure in My Dog".....
It is worth the read, but I must warn you that some of it is heartbreaking.....There is valuable knowledge in the thread.......
You will be able to find it on the first page of this forum...I will bump it up for you so it will be easier to find.....
Hang around here as we have wonderful volunteers that know a lot about what your dealing with........Karla
Sounds like you've done a wonderful job with your little one......There's another (lengthy) thread about Kidney Disease on this forum.....It is titled: "4th Stage Renal Failure in My Dog".....
It is worth the read, but I must warn you that some of it is heartbreaking.....There is valuable knowledge in the thread.......
You will be able to find it on the first page of this forum...I will bump it up for you so it will be easier to find.....
Hang around here as we have wonderful volunteers that know a lot about what your dealing with........Karla
Hello...
I'm So sorry to hear about Maeme...
Is she taking any medications for nausea..?
When was the last time she saw the vet..? Has the vet told you that she is in stage 4..?
I see that Karla has sent you to look at another thread...(so I will check for you there also.)
With TwoBits, I can tell you that I did not get a chance to try all the diets, and meds, so I am really of no help with any of that.
What I can say is that she was in stage 3 kidney failure...Her numbers were not horribly high, however, she had many symptoms.
She slept most of the summer, urinated more often,had an occasional accident...just things I attributed to old age.
I knew something was wrong, the day she wouldn't eat. For 15 years, she had never, ever, not eaten. I brought her to the vet, I thought perhaps she had a urinary infection, but instead, was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney failure.
If you have gone to the other thread and read the posts, you will see what others have experienced with stage 4 Kidney Disease in their dogs.
I can tell you, if the kidneys have stopped working, it will just be a matter of time before your dog becomes uremic. The body becomes poisoned by its own waste. Your dog will start to vomit more often, and as the acid starts to build up, ulcers will form in the gastrointestinal tract and in his mouth. Of Course, they won't eat, because they are feeling sick, other symptoms may also appear...depression, incoordination, seizures,sleeping more often,confusion, rapid weight lose, shivering or trembling.
I have read that this disease is not painful....That is what I have read many times...If it is not painful, it must, at the very least, make your dog very very miserable.
This disease can be a rollercoaster ride, of good days, and bad days.
If your dog has lived with this disease for 3 years...you have done a great job with her care...She is in good hands.
I am hoping she will have more "good days" ahead.
You will both be in my thoughts and prayers...
Connie
I'm So sorry to hear about Maeme...
Is she taking any medications for nausea..?
When was the last time she saw the vet..? Has the vet told you that she is in stage 4..?
I see that Karla has sent you to look at another thread...(so I will check for you there also.)
With TwoBits, I can tell you that I did not get a chance to try all the diets, and meds, so I am really of no help with any of that.
What I can say is that she was in stage 3 kidney failure...Her numbers were not horribly high, however, she had many symptoms.
She slept most of the summer, urinated more often,had an occasional accident...just things I attributed to old age.
I knew something was wrong, the day she wouldn't eat. For 15 years, she had never, ever, not eaten. I brought her to the vet, I thought perhaps she had a urinary infection, but instead, was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney failure.
If you have gone to the other thread and read the posts, you will see what others have experienced with stage 4 Kidney Disease in their dogs.
I can tell you, if the kidneys have stopped working, it will just be a matter of time before your dog becomes uremic. The body becomes poisoned by its own waste. Your dog will start to vomit more often, and as the acid starts to build up, ulcers will form in the gastrointestinal tract and in his mouth. Of Course, they won't eat, because they are feeling sick, other symptoms may also appear...depression, incoordination, seizures,sleeping more often,confusion, rapid weight lose, shivering or trembling.
I have read that this disease is not painful....That is what I have read many times...If it is not painful, it must, at the very least, make your dog very very miserable.
This disease can be a rollercoaster ride, of good days, and bad days.
If your dog has lived with this disease for 3 years...you have done a great job with her care...She is in good hands.
I am hoping she will have more "good days" ahead.
You will both be in my thoughts and prayers...
Connie
Thank you so much for your help and advice..She has been on Hill's K/D wet canned dog food which can only be bought thru the vet....and now she turns away from it completely. I will check with the vet regarding the meds you recommended and anti nausea .... she has only vomited 3 times since this all began last week...she does so well outside...her happy tail wagging self greeting neighbors, kids and all her pet friends..has gotten very thin and only drinks water ... mostly licks it off my fingers!!! I have become a chef this week trying everything recommended...still have to get sweet potatoe tho....still hoping for a miracle but trying to be strong and prepared for what may be coming...she is only 9 yrs. old. Thanks so very much for your kindness, Marilyn and Memae
1 Comments
I have been where you are and actually still am...my girl who will God willing be 15 in January was on k/d canned as well for about 2 years before she refused it completely and stopped eating...my vet and I discussed that allowing her to eat what she wanted (cooked chicken) was better then her not eating....and so we began that (knowing full well that protein is our enemy).
We are now at a point a several months later where she doesn't want to eat the chicken either although she did eat a Burger King plain hamburger for me ( I don't want to hear it's bad for her I would have fed her ice cream if that's all she would eat!). So I guess what I'm saying is perhaps you can find something she likes to eat...and enjoy the time she has while she eats that. I am now waiting on a call from my vet to see where my girl and I are...I don't think it will be good news...because she's had too many of the symptoms of end stage I've seen listed...but ...I know I have been blessed by her...and I owe it to her to do all that I can ...even if it hurts me.
We are now at a point a several months later where she doesn't want to eat the chicken either although she did eat a Burger King plain hamburger for me ( I don't want to hear it's bad for her I would have fed her ice cream if that's all she would eat!). So I guess what I'm saying is perhaps you can find something she likes to eat...and enjoy the time she has while she eats that. I am now waiting on a call from my vet to see where my girl and I are...I don't think it will be good news...because she's had too many of the symptoms of end stage I've seen listed...but ...I know I have been blessed by her...and I owe it to her to do all that I can ...even if it hurts me.
How wonderful to hear from you and others. I so appreciate your kind encouraging words. I would like to think I have done well by my baby these past years...The vet told me 3 yrs. ago she could live 6 mos. or up to 2 1/2 yrs....so i feel blessed with made it 3 yrs so far.
She does so well outdoors....wagging her tail meeting the neighbors, kids and her pet pals....but still no appetite and goes straight to bed. Yet she is not moaning or whimpering at all while sleeping .... she has vomited 3 times since this started a week ago .... and she gets so ashamed when she has an accident. She is the sweetest, happiest, and smallest yorkie I have ever had....I've had 3 in over 30 yrs....I am trying to stay stong...the season and Christmas music are making it all the more difficult. Again thanks so much for your kindness and understanding!! Fondly, Marilyn and Memae
She does so well outdoors....wagging her tail meeting the neighbors, kids and her pet pals....but still no appetite and goes straight to bed. Yet she is not moaning or whimpering at all while sleeping .... she has vomited 3 times since this started a week ago .... and she gets so ashamed when she has an accident. She is the sweetest, happiest, and smallest yorkie I have ever had....I've had 3 in over 30 yrs....I am trying to stay stong...the season and Christmas music are making it all the more difficult. Again thanks so much for your kindness and understanding!! Fondly, Marilyn and Memae
1 Comments
Hi, I have nursed 3 old rescue dogs through kidney disease and I have learned a lot. When they refuse to eat KD you can try a home cooked kidney diet. When they stop eating that, it's time to give them whatever they'll eat. From what I've read, protein is not the major issue but rather phosphorous. I give my boy whatever he wants now - which at the moment is dog sausage- but always add a good pinch of finely ground egg shell (done in a coffee grinder) as calcium is a phosphorous binder. I also give a twice daily dose of peptosyl - this controls the nausea and makes him want to eat. Without that I know he would not eat. Vets charge a stupid amount for peptosyl - buy it online. I bought a 5 litre (!) bottle as I had two dogs on it and it was so much cheaper that way. My boy has been on this regime for months and has been doing really well, but I know he's deteriorating and eventually the time will come. Oh, and one more thing, if the dog becomes constipated because of the eggshell and peptosyl, you can give a coloxyl tablet every few days. Works a treat. My vet put me onto this and you can buy them at the chemist. Hope this helps someone. All the best.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Another thing....Do speak to your vet about prescribing "phosphate binders" Either calcium-based ones, or Aluminum based ones. I also believe there is a new Phosphate binder whch contains neither Calcium nor Aluminum, but I don't know what it is called. Your vet may know.
Phosphorus is contained in many foods, and builds up in the blood when there is kidney disease. This can also cause exacerbation of symptoms in Kidney Failure, such as nausea. Phosphate-binders allow the phosphorus to be excreted via stools, not the kidneys.
Phosphorus is contained in many foods, and builds up in the blood when there is kidney disease. This can also cause exacerbation of symptoms in Kidney Failure, such as nausea. Phosphate-binders allow the phosphorus to be excreted via stools, not the kidneys.
I cannot express how grateful I am to hear back from you and others. People can be so wonderful and it warms my heart yet find it also brings tears for such kindness at a time it is so needed. I am about to try and find the other "thread" you have spoken of...I am not familiar but will hunt till I find it. Memae is sound asleep on "mommy's" pillow...she was shivering a bit today while we were outside...but she was almost her complete happy self enjoying friends....it breaks my heart but as long as she is happy I am okay. Please know how much it means to me to hear back from you and others who completely understand what this is like to go through....this time of year is only making it more emotional...I'll try harder to keep it together for Memae and my neices and sister who gave me my first yorkie many many years ago. With great appreciation ... you have been a blessing, Marilyn and Memae p.s. hope to chat again but if not wishing you a wonderful holiday season!!!
Go to the top of the page and search for...
4th stage renal failure in my dog
the lady that posted it was aggieone and her dogs name was Sandy Grace
the post has over 200 comments, and it is in the Dogs Community.
4th stage renal failure in my dog
the lady that posted it was aggieone and her dogs name was Sandy Grace
the post has over 200 comments, and it is in the Dogs Community.
The phosphate binder is called epakitin, made by Vetoquinol...supposed to be quire palatable...
1 Comments
My dog was on that and never noticed it was there!
I understand there could be some lumbar pain (either side of the spine, between the the top of the end of ribcage and hips) where the kidneys are located...I know Cookie used to regularly come and ask for a massage in that area- massages and hot/cold therapy help.
The greater discomfort is caused by GI irritation- hyperacidity, melena or ulceration- there is a lot of information in this thread and the others as to how to handle that.
If your Maeme has anemia, I personally think that there is also a very strong possibility that she would have headaches. Severe anemia can cause headaches in humans and the basic biology is similar causing dizziness, general fatigue and lethargy etc...You may not be able to help much, but keeping her comfortable and rested is probably what you can do...
I was able to fight most of this for Cookie and towards the end, she was cheerful and comfortable, with minimal vomitting. The anemia could not be helped and that got her...
All the best,
Shoba
The greater discomfort is caused by GI irritation- hyperacidity, melena or ulceration- there is a lot of information in this thread and the others as to how to handle that.
If your Maeme has anemia, I personally think that there is also a very strong possibility that she would have headaches. Severe anemia can cause headaches in humans and the basic biology is similar causing dizziness, general fatigue and lethargy etc...You may not be able to help much, but keeping her comfortable and rested is probably what you can do...
I was able to fight most of this for Cookie and towards the end, she was cheerful and comfortable, with minimal vomitting. The anemia could not be helped and that got her...
All the best,
Shoba
I have owned a Yorkie before Jack. I was always outside dogs, like Samoyed and Chow Chows. Jack amazed me, because he was
fearless. He charge into the breach...the smallest in dog, but not
in his heart and bravery. I will miss him forever. Other dogs and
cats may be in my life, but no dog was quite like Jack, because
he had all the cards stacked against him, but you would never know
he, cause he gave life it's all until the end. I can still see him marching
out the door the night before he died....tears roll down my face thinking
how much I miss him. He was such a wonderful dog and my friend. I
can understand you holding on each day you have with memae. Cherish
the short time we have on earth with our pets, family, and friends. Life
is so short and there seems to be so much pain. Jack was my joy, so
little in your daily life. I hope someday I will have a good dog again, but
there has just been a very few and Jack was the best. He lived only
4 plus years, but made the bigest impact in my life. I understand what you
are going through to well Marilyn.
fearless. He charge into the breach...the smallest in dog, but not
in his heart and bravery. I will miss him forever. Other dogs and
cats may be in my life, but no dog was quite like Jack, because
he had all the cards stacked against him, but you would never know
he, cause he gave life it's all until the end. I can still see him marching
out the door the night before he died....tears roll down my face thinking
how much I miss him. He was such a wonderful dog and my friend. I
can understand you holding on each day you have with memae. Cherish
the short time we have on earth with our pets, family, and friends. Life
is so short and there seems to be so much pain. Jack was my joy, so
little in your daily life. I hope someday I will have a good dog again, but
there has just been a very few and Jack was the best. He lived only
4 plus years, but made the bigest impact in my life. I understand what you
are going through to well Marilyn.
1 Comments
Omg i am going through this now as I am typing my jack russall is 16,and I love her so much but she is dying infront of my eyes I have done everything to try and keep her with me like you she is my friend,I can't imagine life without her,your little dog sounded just like her,God bless.
Put our beloved Bearded Collie to rest yesterday. Only 5 yrs 9 months old. He was born with misphapen kidneys. This kidney disease, what a horrible thing to endure. We were lucky in that it was discovered accidently when he was 1 1/2 years old. We religiously followed the normal CRF protocol which may have bought him a couple of years. Wish I had discovered this site sooner, it would have helped so much.
Just a note that might help someone else. When they stop caring about eating you could try Evangers dog food 100% Rabbit. He gobbled that up for days. Also Dr. Harveys Miracle food, grains and veggies where you add your own protein. I truly wish I had known about that food years ago, he loved it and it's healthy, and you can control the protein. Anyway, my heart is breaking, and my head hurts from crying so just want to wish the best for all of your pets.
Just a note that might help someone else. When they stop caring about eating you could try Evangers dog food 100% Rabbit. He gobbled that up for days. Also Dr. Harveys Miracle food, grains and veggies where you add your own protein. I truly wish I had known about that food years ago, he loved it and it's healthy, and you can control the protein. Anyway, my heart is breaking, and my head hurts from crying so just want to wish the best for all of your pets.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss...
Do not doubt that you did not do enough for your dog. You did an amazing job with him. For him to live 4 years after being diagnosed with kidney disease, is a testament to the great care he was given.
He was a lucky dog to live his life in the company of someone who loves him.
Many of us here understand how much your dog meant to you...we know he was family.
Please accept my heartfelt smypathy....
God Bless his Beautiful Spirit and Soul...
Connie
Do not doubt that you did not do enough for your dog. You did an amazing job with him. For him to live 4 years after being diagnosed with kidney disease, is a testament to the great care he was given.
He was a lucky dog to live his life in the company of someone who loves him.
Many of us here understand how much your dog meant to you...we know he was family.
Please accept my heartfelt smypathy....
God Bless his Beautiful Spirit and Soul...
Connie
Thank you for responding. I have never written on a forum but am in such need of hearing from people who understand. My family is so distraught, even though we knew this was inevitable. He had such a beautiful spirit.I know we did the right thing euthanizing him, and we did it I think at the right time. So why do I feel so bad about it? He never got to the point of throwing up or having bathroom problems. He was unsteady on his legs and oh so thin, it was sad. He wanted to play, but just didn't have the strength. He would get his tennis ball and just hold it in his mouth.
Wondering how many tears, one person can shed. My heart hurts so bad.
Wondering how many tears, one person can shed. My heart hurts so bad.
I too, am so sorry about your Collie.....I agree w/ Connie, you did a wonderful job for those years.....That's amazing!
About those tears: I said the same thing once...How many tears can a human shed? Every time I thought there could be no more, then it would start again.....Unfortunately, grief is the price we pay for "Love".
Your guy was sure lucky to have such a caring and devoted family......I wish all dogs could have wonderful owners......That's my Christmas wish!
I know your heart is hurting and it will take time to heal.....Try to remember the good times with your guy & not the end.....I'll be praying for you and your family.....My thoughts are with you.....Karla
P.S. My crew loves everything made by "Dr. Harvey's". Especially the Tripe treats...Those are their all time favorites!
About those tears: I said the same thing once...How many tears can a human shed? Every time I thought there could be no more, then it would start again.....Unfortunately, grief is the price we pay for "Love".
Your guy was sure lucky to have such a caring and devoted family......I wish all dogs could have wonderful owners......That's my Christmas wish!
I know your heart is hurting and it will take time to heal.....Try to remember the good times with your guy & not the end.....I'll be praying for you and your family.....My thoughts are with you.....Karla
P.S. My crew loves everything made by "Dr. Harvey's". Especially the Tripe treats...Those are their all time favorites!
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I know that I will one day smile again when I think of him instead of crying. He was such a clown, we do have many fun, sweet memories of him.You are so right that grief is the price we pay for "Love" and it is certainly worth the price. I know we need to have some time ahead of us in order to look back. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Sandi
I know that I will one day smile again when I think of him instead of crying. He was such a clown, we do have many fun, sweet memories of him.You are so right that grief is the price we pay for "Love" and it is certainly worth the price. I know we need to have some time ahead of us in order to look back. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.
Sandi
Sandi...
I know only too well how you are feeling. I had my dog TwoBits euthanized 3 months ago...she was in stage 3 kidney failure...she had many symptoms...but I still feel I had her euthanized to soon...I know she was sick, and I know that the worse was yet to come...But I, like you, still feel so bad about having her euthanized.
We help our pets die peacefully because we love them, and we do not want them to suffer...so...when they are gone...we suffer for them.
You only wanted to do what was best for him, and you did.
A friend told me....
It does not matter to a dog how long his life is...it only matters to us.
What matters to a dog, is the quality of his life, while he is here.
It sounds like your dog was happy with his life. He was well taken care of, and is loved and missed by many.
He is a lucky dog to belong to people who are proud to call him family.
I know this Christmas will not be the same for you without him....the weeks and months ahead will be difficult.
But please know that you are not alone...There are several of us on this forum who have recently lost our beloved dogs...we are here for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...
Connie
I know only too well how you are feeling. I had my dog TwoBits euthanized 3 months ago...she was in stage 3 kidney failure...she had many symptoms...but I still feel I had her euthanized to soon...I know she was sick, and I know that the worse was yet to come...But I, like you, still feel so bad about having her euthanized.
We help our pets die peacefully because we love them, and we do not want them to suffer...so...when they are gone...we suffer for them.
You only wanted to do what was best for him, and you did.
A friend told me....
It does not matter to a dog how long his life is...it only matters to us.
What matters to a dog, is the quality of his life, while he is here.
It sounds like your dog was happy with his life. He was well taken care of, and is loved and missed by many.
He is a lucky dog to belong to people who are proud to call him family.
I know this Christmas will not be the same for you without him....the weeks and months ahead will be difficult.
But please know that you are not alone...There are several of us on this forum who have recently lost our beloved dogs...we are here for you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...
Connie
Wow. Three years since diagnosis is incredible. You have and are continuing to do a wonderful job. It is sometimes hard to tell whether a dog is suffering, particularly with kidney disease, as it tends to be good days and bad days. I think when the bad days all roll into one and there are fewer and fewer good days, you can tell it is reaching THAT time. Also, you know your own dog better than anyone else, and (ok this may sound strange, but it's also very true) your dog will tell you when she's had enough and is ready to go. Hopefully, that day is not here just yet, so just keep giving her all the love and cuddles you want to - and well done to you for getting this far. It's quite remarkable.
Connie,
Thank you for helping me get through this terrible time. I know that you are still missing your TwoBits. I don't think we ever stop missing them. As my husband says, you just have to put them in a different place in your heart. Our Boy got the short end of the stick, living less than half of what he should have. But he did pack in a lot of life when he was here. He was the happiest dog you could imagine. I know the doctors were surprised he did as well as he did for so long. We were hoping for that miracle. The one where he would defy the odds and live out a long life. But we really knew he would not. I have never experienced euthanasia before. Wasn't sure we had the right to do it, but it was at last, a peaceful death. The evil disease would have taken him very soon and he would have suffered so much at the end. Thanks for listening again.
Sandi
Thank you for helping me get through this terrible time. I know that you are still missing your TwoBits. I don't think we ever stop missing them. As my husband says, you just have to put them in a different place in your heart. Our Boy got the short end of the stick, living less than half of what he should have. But he did pack in a lot of life when he was here. He was the happiest dog you could imagine. I know the doctors were surprised he did as well as he did for so long. We were hoping for that miracle. The one where he would defy the odds and live out a long life. But we really knew he would not. I have never experienced euthanasia before. Wasn't sure we had the right to do it, but it was at last, a peaceful death. The evil disease would have taken him very soon and he would have suffered so much at the end. Thanks for listening again.
Sandi
Sandi...
You said you were hoping for a miracle...
Your boy lived for 4 years after being diagnosed. That honestly, is a miracle in itself. Most dogs who are diagnosed with kidney disease only live 6 months to 2 years. Sadly those are the odds, so your boy did indeed defy them....In terms of kidney disease, he did live a long life..he was your miracle.
I know how you feel about whether or not we have the right to euthanize our pets....even though I have assisted 2 of my dogs with their death, I still question it. Basically we have killed something we love, and it seems wrong.
But we chose to euthanize because we love them so very much, and we do not want them to suffer...We do it, because we are being Merciful.
It is a act of compassion.
Even though you say your boy got the short end of the stick, You and your family made sure it was the best end of the stick...!
It was because of the love you gave him, that he was able to be well cared for, happy, and content....for the entire time he was here.
I can tell you, that no matter when they leave us, it is ALWAYS too soon.
Take Care...Connie
You said you were hoping for a miracle...
Your boy lived for 4 years after being diagnosed. That honestly, is a miracle in itself. Most dogs who are diagnosed with kidney disease only live 6 months to 2 years. Sadly those are the odds, so your boy did indeed defy them....In terms of kidney disease, he did live a long life..he was your miracle.
I know how you feel about whether or not we have the right to euthanize our pets....even though I have assisted 2 of my dogs with their death, I still question it. Basically we have killed something we love, and it seems wrong.
But we chose to euthanize because we love them so very much, and we do not want them to suffer...We do it, because we are being Merciful.
It is a act of compassion.
Even though you say your boy got the short end of the stick, You and your family made sure it was the best end of the stick...!
It was because of the love you gave him, that he was able to be well cared for, happy, and content....for the entire time he was here.
I can tell you, that no matter when they leave us, it is ALWAYS too soon.
Take Care...Connie
Connie,
Another hard day. I picked up his ashes today. The people were very understanding and sympathetic, but I felt so alone. This was not my dog, where is he? Of course, it was my dog.The remains of a dog who was beautiful in body and soul, who is not going to suffer the indignity of wasting away by a wretched disease. But, I long for that bouncing crazy furry face to greet me just once more.
Back to work today, to face both those who understand and those who don't. Luckily most do care and understand, but I felt they were thinking, ok, time to move on, but I am not ready. I must say, I only cried a couple of times today and found it much easier to talk about him. It's a little better.
Connie, you have a special gift. A gift that comforts and words that lead to understanding and strength. Thank you so much.
Another hard day. I picked up his ashes today. The people were very understanding and sympathetic, but I felt so alone. This was not my dog, where is he? Of course, it was my dog.The remains of a dog who was beautiful in body and soul, who is not going to suffer the indignity of wasting away by a wretched disease. But, I long for that bouncing crazy furry face to greet me just once more.
Back to work today, to face both those who understand and those who don't. Luckily most do care and understand, but I felt they were thinking, ok, time to move on, but I am not ready. I must say, I only cried a couple of times today and found it much easier to talk about him. It's a little better.
Connie, you have a special gift. A gift that comforts and words that lead to understanding and strength. Thank you so much.
Sandi..
I have a forum friend who also had the dreadful task of picking up his dogs ashes today.
I have never had my dogs cremated, as I have always had a place to "plant" them. But my friend was telling me how "strange" it felt to him to pick up those ashes. I know it must have been very difficult for you. But you did it, and it is now water under the bridge.
What will you do with the ashes...?
Some people like to keep a pinch of the ashes for themselves...you can go online and order a cremation necklace. It has a locket / vial that is on a necklace..bracelet...etc...you can put some of the ashes in it, and keep it forever. I am sure your dog..( May I ask his name...? ) wouldn't mind.
You talked about having to go back to work, and feeling like others think you should move on....Better know as "Let Go"...
Sandi...people who feel you should let go and move on, don't understand what it is like to truly love and be loved...you will be wasting your time, if you are looking for comfort or understanding from those people. Pay no attention to what they are saying...Forgive them....they do not understand because they have never been there. I feel sorry for those people....
Well, a few minutes ago, I responded to a friends journal entry...It concerned Letting Go...The mans name is Mark, and his dogs name is Jack... here is what I wrote to him, on how I feel about " Letting Go"....
Mark...
I hate the phrase...."Let Go" .. It sounds as though we are suppose to just forget about our loved ones, and just keep moving forward without them as though they meant nothing in our lives. I don't know who came up with that phrase, but I refuse to even consider to "Let Go" of any of my dogs who have died. "Let Go"...Really...? Get out of here..!
I say don't Let go, but instead....
Hold on...! Hold on to the memories...Hold on to talking to them...Hold on to the feeling of their presence.
Hold on to what remains...because this is how we continue to love them. This is how we continue to connect and keep them near and dear to us. As long as we keep their spirit alive, they will be here for us when we need them.
No Mark...never "Let Go"
To Let Go now, would be like losing Jack all over again....and once in a lifetime is quite enough.
Sandi...Hold on to what you have left of your dog....cherish him forever, and never let him go...and when others tell you to "Let Go" or "Move On" pay them no mind..do not let them rob you of what you have left.
Your "bouncing crazy furry faced" dog is still here to greet you,and kiss your face, but you will no longer feel him on the outside. Now you will feel him on the inside...he has found a home in your heart, and that is where he should stay. Don't let anybody take that away from you.
Connie
I have a forum friend who also had the dreadful task of picking up his dogs ashes today.
I have never had my dogs cremated, as I have always had a place to "plant" them. But my friend was telling me how "strange" it felt to him to pick up those ashes. I know it must have been very difficult for you. But you did it, and it is now water under the bridge.
What will you do with the ashes...?
Some people like to keep a pinch of the ashes for themselves...you can go online and order a cremation necklace. It has a locket / vial that is on a necklace..bracelet...etc...you can put some of the ashes in it, and keep it forever. I am sure your dog..( May I ask his name...? ) wouldn't mind.
You talked about having to go back to work, and feeling like others think you should move on....Better know as "Let Go"...
Sandi...people who feel you should let go and move on, don't understand what it is like to truly love and be loved...you will be wasting your time, if you are looking for comfort or understanding from those people. Pay no attention to what they are saying...Forgive them....they do not understand because they have never been there. I feel sorry for those people....
Well, a few minutes ago, I responded to a friends journal entry...It concerned Letting Go...The mans name is Mark, and his dogs name is Jack... here is what I wrote to him, on how I feel about " Letting Go"....
Mark...
I hate the phrase...."Let Go" .. It sounds as though we are suppose to just forget about our loved ones, and just keep moving forward without them as though they meant nothing in our lives. I don't know who came up with that phrase, but I refuse to even consider to "Let Go" of any of my dogs who have died. "Let Go"...Really...? Get out of here..!
I say don't Let go, but instead....
Hold on...! Hold on to the memories...Hold on to talking to them...Hold on to the feeling of their presence.
Hold on to what remains...because this is how we continue to love them. This is how we continue to connect and keep them near and dear to us. As long as we keep their spirit alive, they will be here for us when we need them.
No Mark...never "Let Go"
To Let Go now, would be like losing Jack all over again....and once in a lifetime is quite enough.
Sandi...Hold on to what you have left of your dog....cherish him forever, and never let him go...and when others tell you to "Let Go" or "Move On" pay them no mind..do not let them rob you of what you have left.
Your "bouncing crazy furry faced" dog is still here to greet you,and kiss your face, but you will no longer feel him on the outside. Now you will feel him on the inside...he has found a home in your heart, and that is where he should stay. Don't let anybody take that away from you.
Connie
Connie,
Our boys name is Boston, usually called Bostie. No, I will never let go but think I am moving forward with him tucked securely in my heart. I only cried a couple of times yesterday, both times when someone hugged me. Kindness seems to set me off. My husband was the one who wanted him cremated, he has the urn on his night stand, where he says goodnight and good morning to him, and touches it before he leaves for work. That is his comfort. I prefer the memories now. I did get a lock of his hair,that I will always have.
I love this time of year, but as much as I can celebrate having had Boston, I just don't feel joyful. With your help, I do feel better.
Our boys name is Boston, usually called Bostie. No, I will never let go but think I am moving forward with him tucked securely in my heart. I only cried a couple of times yesterday, both times when someone hugged me. Kindness seems to set me off. My husband was the one who wanted him cremated, he has the urn on his night stand, where he says goodnight and good morning to him, and touches it before he leaves for work. That is his comfort. I prefer the memories now. I did get a lock of his hair,that I will always have.
I love this time of year, but as much as I can celebrate having had Boston, I just don't feel joyful. With your help, I do feel better.
I know how you feel about the kindness....its the same way with me.
When I am feeling depressed about TwoBits, and someone hugs me, I just want to break down. I wish I could just cry in their arms for as long as I need too, but of course, I quickly pull myself together, and get on with the day.
I have thought about getting my dogs cremated, so I could keep the ashes in the house by me. I know many people who say that it does comfort them to have the ashes of their loved one close. My Mother felt very comforted to have my Dads ashes in the house. She felt closer to him.
My Dad died in the winter. We had a memorial service for him in the Spring, and buried his ashes. It was a very hard thing for my Mom to bury those ashes...She still wishes she wouldn't have. They gave her great comfort.
I think that it is nice that your husband wants to keep Boston close.
I have a Photo of TwoBits next to my bed...I still say Good Morning and Good Night...and Talk to her throughout the day...I rub her ears and give her a kiss... I miss her and love her so much, the photo seems to help me, it makes me feel closer , but it also reminds me of her death, and what I lost, more than it reminds me of all the wonderful years we had. Photos seem to be such painful reminders for me...yet I wouldn't want to be without any.
Yes, Christmas will be difficult. And while I am still thankful, It is hard to celebrate anything when you are not feeling joyful.
It is hard to celebrate life, when you are still grieving a death....but, we just need to do the best we can.
If we can't be happy, at least we can still try to be helpful...while we are struggling to overcome our grief, there are animals and people who are struggling with their life. Any small act of kindness that we can offer, can make a difference for them...even if that difference is only for a day.
After all,
Just think of how the small act of a hug, even though it makes us want to cry, also makes us feel a little better.
Sandi....I will be thinking of you and your husband, I understand the sorrow that you are feeling. Overcoming the grief will take some time, and the best we can hope for is to just get through the day.
Yes, it may be 2 steps forward, and 1 step back...but at least we are headed in the right direction...!
Hugs to Both of you...and your Angel dog Bostie...
Connie
When I am feeling depressed about TwoBits, and someone hugs me, I just want to break down. I wish I could just cry in their arms for as long as I need too, but of course, I quickly pull myself together, and get on with the day.
I have thought about getting my dogs cremated, so I could keep the ashes in the house by me. I know many people who say that it does comfort them to have the ashes of their loved one close. My Mother felt very comforted to have my Dads ashes in the house. She felt closer to him.
My Dad died in the winter. We had a memorial service for him in the Spring, and buried his ashes. It was a very hard thing for my Mom to bury those ashes...She still wishes she wouldn't have. They gave her great comfort.
I think that it is nice that your husband wants to keep Boston close.
I have a Photo of TwoBits next to my bed...I still say Good Morning and Good Night...and Talk to her throughout the day...I rub her ears and give her a kiss... I miss her and love her so much, the photo seems to help me, it makes me feel closer , but it also reminds me of her death, and what I lost, more than it reminds me of all the wonderful years we had. Photos seem to be such painful reminders for me...yet I wouldn't want to be without any.
Yes, Christmas will be difficult. And while I am still thankful, It is hard to celebrate anything when you are not feeling joyful.
It is hard to celebrate life, when you are still grieving a death....but, we just need to do the best we can.
If we can't be happy, at least we can still try to be helpful...while we are struggling to overcome our grief, there are animals and people who are struggling with their life. Any small act of kindness that we can offer, can make a difference for them...even if that difference is only for a day.
After all,
Just think of how the small act of a hug, even though it makes us want to cry, also makes us feel a little better.
Sandi....I will be thinking of you and your husband, I understand the sorrow that you are feeling. Overcoming the grief will take some time, and the best we can hope for is to just get through the day.
Yes, it may be 2 steps forward, and 1 step back...but at least we are headed in the right direction...!
Hugs to Both of you...and your Angel dog Bostie...
Connie
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Dogs Community
Members of our Pet Communities share their Halloween pet photos.
Like to travel but hate to leave your pooch at home? Dr. Carol Osborne talks tips on how (and where!) to take a trip with your pampered pet
Ooh and aah your way through these too-cute photos of MedHelp members' best friends
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
