Does anyone know if anyone has ever studied the personality types of those who end with this illness? I am observing that most people whom I know who have it were hard-working, multi-taskers, who took their work responsibilities very seriously (does workaholic sound familiar?) I include stay-at-home Moms in this definition of "work." Just curious....
I just joined today and your post made me smile. I did what they call here a CFS management course (not that any of us came out managing any better but ....Hey!!! We tried!!) and all 8 of us on the course after getting to know each other found that we were the kind of people who had worked our socks, either in a job, as a single parent or both, been taken for granted, been abused in one way or another (even if just our good natures), tried to please everyone else to the deteriment of our own health and we had all done this until we had literally crashed and burned. Some of us have bounce back a little, others, like myself get to stare at the bedroom walls an awful lot. HeHe!! But I dont think I could change completely as we were told to do, to think of myself first, to get well as that wouldn't be me! I hope this answers you're question x
I have heard that myself . I am trying to teach my daughters to take care of themselves so they don't go through this mess! i was a single mother of 4. worked 2-3 jobs at a time and everything still had to be perfect at home- felt like a was a rotten mother if it was any different. then i thought i had to be both mother and father due to absence of the dad! and then another bad relationship being abused and always giving all that i had - with no regrets even today! still gave all i had even at work up until this oct., always got on evaluations at work-- up and above expectations! but no more i can give what i can and have learned (still learning) to except it!
Studies have debunked the myth that it effects overacheivers who then collapse.
What it might be that makes it look that way:
- You d-am well better be an overacheiver to get a diagnosis with this illness.
- It effects more working class and minorities proportionality and they don't always have the insurance or option to get taken seriously. (Some less medically accepable people wind up hospitlized with what's literally called nerveous breakdown.)
- High performers may experience more stress or more exposure to toxins without taking a break and that can be a trigger.
- With only 15% of patients diagnosed, the pictures aren't going to be very accurate.
raymond perrin- the perrin technique tells u everythin u need to know bout CFS/ME INCLUDING how to recover fully. he has several clinics in england each of which can give full recovery. ME is caused by a build up of toxins which we all produce but ME sufferers cannot drain these toxics from their lymphatic system. thats why glands are swollen. buy the book to find out more!
I agree with what Kerali and several others said about multi-tasking, over-achieving, approval-seeking perfectionists. My boss would always give me the toughest jobs, because he knew I would put my own needs last. (I called him on it, but it was too late.)
Dr. Gabor Mate wrote a book called When the Body Says No. He says if you can't say no to people, your body will do it for you. He also says if you have to choose between guilt because you let someone down and resentment because they walked all over you, take guilt every time!
I can see how that might be so.I work hard all day every day.I always wounder when I will get my time off.I'm a mother of three boys and they always need my time.I also go to school full time and work with horses.Even though my body cant seem to handle it I keep going.I have been through alot of bad times in my life and I have a hard time letting things go.I also hold in alot of quilt and anger.Stress and being over worked could be a cause of concern with this illness.But I dont think it is all to blame.
that so sounds like me before i got ill i was working 30 hrs a week juggling 3 kids a husband two dogs church duties and fitting in my housework and social life where i could then in 2006 nov i had a car crash and suffered whiplash and and lower back injurys and since May 2007 i have not worked and since may 2008 this year i've had cares look after me and my kids ( my husband has left) and the odd thing was i used to be a carer and do what they do for me now!!!
A very dear friend who is a medium - and v. intelligent- told me that there's only one Being in the Universe who is all things to all people. She said she was sorry to tell me that it's not me! She said some takers are so selfish that they will literally drain you. Givers have to learn how to take so that others may be givers. And the selfish takers have to learn to do things for themselves. Sometimes He makes you lie down and rest so that you have to learn how to take whether you like it or not. (Not!)
I understood the spirituality of the concept but, did remark that maybe I could have won the lottery instead and chosen my own beautiful beach on which to lie. My friend looked at me, laughed and told me that would be useless because I'd give it all away! Either that or I'd set up an organisation for one needy group or other and work 20 hours a day!
Just a thought re. people who drive themselves too hard. There must be some horrible people with this condition but I've never met any yet. Perhaps it should be called the "Being Too Caring" syndrome!
There have been tons of studies and in fact, some CFS/fibro physicians were upset because a lot of the research money allocated for CFS/fibro research was going to the psychologists ! Of course they were unsuccessful at trying to prove that these conditions were caused by stress or psychological problems.
As Harvard physician Dr. Anthony Komaroff said (about CFS):
“This is not an illness that people can imagine they have. It’s not psychological,” says Komaroff. “That debate, which has raged for more than 20 years, should be over now.”
They should know better than to assume that just because something is triggered or exacerbated by stress doesn't mean it doesn't have a physical cause, with real symptoms that are not "in your head."
And it seems to me that a beat up endocrine system can't help but have a negative impact on CFS/fibro, whether or not it is a contributing causal factor.
I couldn't have said it better ! And what many fibro/CFS patients go through is the stress of being sick and having nobody believe them and/or not having a diagnosis. It took me over a decade before I was properly diagnosed with CFS.
I've heard a number of times that there's one big thing that makes a difference to your prognosis when you have ME, and that's how quickly you realise you have it (which usually gets referred to as "early diagnosis" in this context) and how quickly you stop everything and rest. The more you push yourself in the early stages, the worse it's going to get. And of course most people *don't* stop everything and rest, they just think they've had a bad dose of flu and keep going, waiting a long time (often years) to get a diagnosis. In addition, people with busy lifestyles are going to find it even harder to stop and rest, which may be another reason for the myth that their lifestyle somehow makes them more likely to develop ME.
I've heard that the three highest-risk groups for ME are nurses, teachers and farmers. The common themes here are working hard, likely to be raising a family as well, high occupational stress, and exposure to bugs and/or pesticides.
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