How to handle issues with Doctor

Someone please advise me on the best way to handle this
Several months ago, I was very ill and had to be hospitalized emergently. My family doctor, whom I have seen for 7 years, took it upon himself to consult a surgeon without asking me or discussing it with me beforehand. The surgeon was someone new, whom I had never met or even heard of, and is associated iwth two other surgeons I know have a less than desirable reputation. When I complained, and gave him the name of the surgeon he should have called, he said "Well I have already called this guy for you"  I ended up calling the surgeon of choice myself and getting another specialist who I was seeing to take over and see that I was saved from what might have been an incompetant specialist.
Now I feel I can no longer trust my primary doctor. I understand that there are group politics at work here, and posibly a turf war of sorts with patients.  I also know that I had told this guy several times that if a surgeon was needed, this was who he was to call. I had to have to can someone after 7 years of decent care, and I hate to have to reeastablish with someone else, but what else am I to do? Fortunately for me, I was able to get a great surgeon in to take good care of me; it scares me to think about what might have happened otherwise......

[caregiver222]

I have to take the side of the physician (ouch!). You can't dictate in the manner you are in the context of the modern medical practice. I have no doubt this fellow had your best interests at heart. That geing said you have no concept of what goes on in an operating theatre, nor who is going to be the cutter. I have a few tales that are better left untold. The liklihood it will be the surgeon you choose is non existent. That doesn't mean you will be getting a sub standard operation. You really have no idea how to evaluate whether a person is a "great" surgeon. And a surgeon doesn't "talke care" of you. His job ends when the stitches are closed. I think you are being too hard on your primary guy.

[momtofourboys]

I disagree. Doctors need to listen to their patients.ask you PCP if he would use this surgeon he refered you to on his little child, even if he doesn't have one.  you are paying for these doctors even if you have insurance. My PCP always asks us who we want to see if we have anyone in mind because you need to feel comfortable with the doctor treating you. I have 6 people in my family and 5 of us go to the same doctor. When Chris needed to go to have his open heart surgery when he was 3 months, the cardiologsit even ask which hospital do we prefer and if we had a certain surgeon in mind.
I would speak to you r PCP and tell him exactly how you feel, like you did here and ask him how you can resolve this issue.
good luck
michelle

[justcake]

Good for you for sticking up to your doctor--it is your body, and since we have to live (or die) by these decisions, I think  we should feel comfortable with them at the end of the day.

That said :)

Your relationship with your current primary care physicians is *over*.  I don't think there's any reason to go back and see him again--he didn't listen to you, and then you threw out what he was doing and took action yourself.  Relationships are like dancing, and you guys are obviously stepping on each other's toes.  I would find another physician first, then send this doctor a thank you note for everything he did for you.

(In terms of finding a new physician, I *absolutely agree* that there are politics at work, and I would suggest asking this surgeon you like for any referrals--he'll know people you might like.  If he doesn't give you any names, then you know you're in trouble and have hit a political mine field of sorts--)

Good luck :)

[SixStringer]

Why are more and more people going to alternative practitioners?  If you lose the trust in your physician, you have to move on.  Quietly find another doctor and have your former records transferred.  I don't know about sending your former doctor a "thank you" note.  That all depends upon his manner with you and how personable he/she was.  To many doctors, you are just a number, so it would depend upon your situation before the incident you described above.  

[justcake]

I actually meant it--I think taking a moment to say thank you for the good things other do for us is really important--even though a relationship needs to end, it doesn't mean that we can't be grateful for the good things that someone did for us :)

[paulibogie]

I am a professional in the health-care field.  Normally, when the patient is very ill and the doctor arranges for a consult with a surgeon, because of the emergent need he will make a referral to a surgeon he trusts.  He should of however, indicated that you have a right to a second opinion with a surgeon of your choice.  

Many times patient's don't have any idea of what surgeon to go to in the specialty that is required.  So physicians  are used to making referrals without consulting if you have a preference  especially if the patient is very ill.  He really wants t to get you safely to someone who can correct the problem.

If you have been happy with your doctor.  I would recommend talking to him about this. Give him a chance to talk to you about it.  We all make mistakes and sometimes working issues out results in a more positive respectful relationship.  If after discussing how you felt, you feel his response is not favorable or what you would expect then make a change.  

Because the doctors in the practice with this surgeon don't have stellar reputations does not make the surgeon he referred to you a bad surgeon.