OCD and HIV

[GeorgeLopez]

I have recently been diagnosed with OCD, and I have had a multitude of issues associated with this... intrusive thoughts, guilt, obsessions, etc. I recently went to the doctor for a checkup, and they tested me for HIV, and my results were negative. Ever since then, I have been obsessing over possibly being infected with HIV. For example, I have a tube of Carmex that I thought was mine that I got from my mom's house, and come to find out, it was her and her husband's friend's lip balm that has been in prison and has been a drug user. Now I am afraid that the lip balm may   have had some sort of blood or something that got into my mouth. Another example that I have been obsessing over is I was at the bar a few nights ago, and my beer hit a guy's elbow. I looked at his elbow and there was a pinkish scratch/mark on it. I am now afraid that it could have gotten blood on my drink and gotten into my mouth somehow. I bite the inside of my mouth so I am afraid that I may have had an open wound. Could someone please give my some insight/reassurance into this? It is driving me crazy. Is this OCD or risk?

[nmnmht]

I am suffering from OCD cause of HIV fear but I am not so weak I will submit to OCD I will be strong and be rational and if all my fears are scientifically justified I will believe what science says I will be strong......... If you have the same motto you will fight of your problems.

[GeorgeLopez]

Thank you for your responses. I definitely have somewhat piece of mind now. I am glad to know that someone shares the same experiences as I have, and now I do not feel as crazy. I have not been to the doctor about it until this week, and I was given a prescription for meds, but I do not want to take them to make myself feel normal. Thanks guys, and I appreciate the kind and helpful feedback. I just have to take control of this OCD and overcome it.

[agjv10]

This is definitely OCD. I have not been diagnosed, but I am almost certain that I suffer from this as well. What is it that led you to get tested in the first place? All test results 3 months after possible exposure (which your's are not) are conclusive. I will share my story with you if you promise not to turn it into your own obsession. I tested twice last year. The first time was two years after a possible exposure (unprotected sex with a stripper). Risky? Yes! Chances of being infected? Very Low! I tested negative. For peace of mind I got tested again three months after my last encounter (protected sex). I tested negative as well. A year later, I cooked up a scenario in which the lab mixes up my specimen. Not once, but twice! Irrational? Yes! Likely? No! My point is...this is a prime example of what OCD can do in such instances. The encounters you mention were zero risk! You are fine!

[zamzam4]

This is OCD.

OCD is a bully and can make you feel, think and believe things that are not correct, not real etc... The intrusive thoughts to an OCD sufferer feel so very real and the threat feels real.

The worst thing for OCD is reassurance and by coming on here that is what you are looking for.  The OCD will take this assurance and mess with it, it will make you come back asking more what if questions, it will never be satisfied.  That is how it works.

I am not sure if you are on meds but I would recommend some, also CBT will really help.  While you are waiting for both get a book called Brain lock by Dr Schwartz.  

You can beat OCD but you have to stop indulging it.  You have to control it not let it control you, it can be done, its a battle but one that is worth winning.

[LIZZIE LOU]

OCD at it's best ! ! !