You had protected vaginal sex and the condom did not break. NO RISK FOR HIV AND NO NEED TO TEST.
As for doing the "water test" to check for a broken condom, that is a total waste of time. When a condom fails, it fails catastrophically! There is virtually nothing left of it but a few shreds and the ring at the base of your penis. You would have absolutely no doubt it had broken. If there was enough left of your condom to hold water, trust me, it was NOT broken!
Kissing, including French kissing, is NOT a risk for HIV.
Oral sex is NOT a risk for HIV. Human saliva contains bacteria and enzymes that render the virus inactive. (Unable to infect)
There has NEVER been a documented case of anyone acquiring HIV from oral sex and you will not be the first.
Oral sex DOES put you at risk for other sexually transmitted disease like chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, Hep B, Hep C, herpes, etc. and you should have a full STD panel done at the appropriate window periods. Ask you doctor or an HIV clinic for the testing protocols.
As for the "statistics" you cited in question #1, those refer to UNPROTECTED INSERTIVE sex. I can cite some stats for you, but like yours, these all refer to unprotected sexual activity.................
Probabilities of HIV transmission per exposure to the virus are usually expressed in percentages or as odds For example, the average risk of contracting HIV through sharing a needle one time with an HIV-positive drug user is 0.67 percent, which can also be stated as 1 in 149 or, using the ratios the CDC prefers, 67 out of 10,000 exposures. The risk from giving a blowjob to an HIV-positive man not on treatment is at most 1 in 2,500 (or 0.04 percent per act). The risk of contracting HIV during vaginal penetration, for a woman in the United States, is 1 per 1,250 exposures (or 0.08 percent); for the man in that scenario, it's 1 per 2,500 exposures (0.04 percent, which is the same as performing fellatio)
MY response is that assuming the latex or polyurethane condom was used properly and did not fail (break), your HIV risk would be essentially nonexistent. HIV cannot permeate intact latex or polyurethane. No way. No how. However, it's important to note that condoms are not always used properly! So you've got "operator error" and the very rare condom failure.
There is no such thing as 100% safe sex beside abstinence, but condoms come pretty close.
Question #2 Some condoms come off very easily and some are like playing tug of war. You said your penis was "very wet" from the oral sex and perhaps you had an abundance of semen (amounts DO change) so that is most likely why it came off so easily. The ring at the base of the penis is tight enough to prevent vaginal fluids from entering the condom. Stop looking for all these "what if" scenarios! The condom did NOT break, you were completely protected from HIV, so please let this go.
You NEVER had a risk for HIV and DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV! Discussing all the various tests and their pros and cons at this point is moot. If you ALWAYS use a condom and use it correctly, you will never have to worry about testing.
There are ONLY three ways you can acquire HIV:
1) UNPROTECTED INSERTIVE ANAL/VAGINAL SEX WITH AN HIV+ PARTNER
2) SHARING DRUG WORKS (IV NEEDLES) WITH AN HIV+ PERSON
3) AN HIV+ WOMAN TO HER UNBORN CHILD
Since #3 does not apply to you, if you ALWAYS follow rules #1 and #2, you will NOT CONTRACT HIV.
The only other thoughts or advice I would give you is to spend time educating yourself about HIV, STD's and safe sex.
If you want to play in the Big Leagues, you need to know the rules.
Our doctors are no longer answering questions, (which you had to pay for) but if you go to the box on the upper right hand side that says "RELATED FORUMS," click on the tab for "EXPERTS," that will take you to the doctor's archives and you will undoubtedly be able to find answers to all your questions.
You do NOT have HIV. You do NOT need to test for HIV. You DO need to test for other (NON-HIV) STD's.
I wish you the best
RubyWitch