Was I protected?

[concerned1256]

Hello,

I'm a 23 year old gay man & I've been a medhelp member for about a year now. I want to thank you first of all; this site has been a tremendous resource for me & has helped alleviate concerns and anxieties of mine for some time now.

I wanted to ask about a sexual encounter I had about 2 months ago. I went home with a friend whose HIV status I was unsure of. We engaged in condom protected anal sex (I was the bottom). I saw my partner put the condom on his penis before he penetrated me. The sex lasted for few minutes & there was no ejaculation. We were lying in bed together for a while afterwards, and I saw the condom on the floor next to us - I looked at it and there were no ruptures or tears. I believe he took the condom off when we finished. 

 4 and 1/2 weeks after the event (32 days) I developed a very bad throbbing sore throat. It was hard to swallow & felt like the sore throat I had when I had mono a year ago. This lasted for about a week and a half. During this time it felt like I had fever, but when I was able to take my temp it seemed normal in the 98 range (not sure if taking Advil brought this down). There were periods though when it was elevated to 99.2 & 99.3 for certain hours for about 2 days or so. I was also very tired throughout this time.

Looking back, I've become worried about this event. I do believe my partner wore a condom during sex, but I've read some horror stories online about a man taking off the condom during sex and not telling his partner. The question I would like to ask is whether the receptive partner in anal sex would be able to feel whether their partner was wearing a condom or not. I realize this is a difficult one to answer, but I've never been barebacked before. I don't know what it may feel like and if it's possible to the difference between condom protected and unprotected sex. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Best wishes and happy holidays to all of you.

[NickOne7]

If he had the condom on without you asking it is VERY unlikely he took it off. I think you are fine, But test if you are still concerned Get tested in the time frames provided by avonelle38 above.

Good luck to you and I am happy to help.

[avonelle38]

See if there is any way possible you can get in contact with your partner and ask him. It is highly unlikely he would take off the condom and not tell you, and in doing this he would also place himself at risk because he did not know your status. (not saying you have anything, but who would want to have unprotected sex with someone who's status they do not know?) If he paused to remove the condom and then re-entered you, chances are you would have noticed him pausing or the different feel after he removed the condom. If you are truly worried that he might have removed the condom and you were placed at risk, alleviate your anxiety and fears by getting an HIV test at 6-8 weeks and then one last one at 3 months. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you can contact your partner.

[concerned1256]

Thanks so much for your response Nick. It was reassuring to read that my sore throat wasn't indicative of ARS. Its severity & the fact that it was close to the ARS timeframe is what worried me in the first place. 

The worst part of this situation is that I don't have a way of contacting my partner; he has apparently moved out of my city & The contact info he gave me does not work (not a good situation to have ended up in, I know)

I can say that my partner put on the condom without any need to ask I saw him wearing it correctly before he was about to penetrate; and the sex felt like it was protected with a condom the whole time. His penetrations felt well lubed, like a condom was on, and I can't recall any strange pauses during the sex where his removal of the condom could have happened. It's just that I was not able to visually confirm that it was still on his penis when we were finished that has me concerned. Thats why I wanted to ask whether I would be able to feel a distinct difference between a condom protected penetration & a bareback one. It is again very reassuring to read from you that that difference is something I would have been able to feel.

I'm hoping I can put this experience behind me. Thanks again for your help, I truly appreciate it.

[NickOne7]

Why dont you ask your "Friend" First about his HIV status and second if he wore the condom the intire time. That is where you should start.

Most likely he used the condom the entire time - Did he stop, Remove his penis from you, remove the condom and insert you again? You would have known if all of that happened!

Your symptoms do not indacate ARS symptoms

Hope this helps