Big problem

[whoaisme]

I need some help here..quick outline husband is 45 years old, diagnosed '03 ,  Grade 3/stage 4. He did a 16 week course of peg/riba, followed by a year of daily infergen, a year and a half of maintanence and a 24/28 weeks of the Alinia trial. Never cleared. was also diagnosed with cryo.
He has a lot of pain, was treated by a pain management doctor (and although the pain medication was a low dose he did not take them as prescribed) and a year or two after seeing him he did a random drug test and found illegal drugs, and told him he would not see him anymore. Has seen two pain doctors since and again was told they would not treat him. He is buying drugs (pain meds) from friends, and occassionally partakes in more illicit drugs......denies he is abusing or has a problem, NA worked for about a month, at the thought of losing me..
IHe has seen rheumotoligists, is presently under the care of a pyschiatrist (antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds)   He is angry and bitter...takes a lot out on me, really snappy and mean at times....threatening now he will move out of the country or become a heroin addict.....he does not think changing his diet, cleaning up his act, stopped smoking or  begin exercising that this will help his situation, or lessen his pain. I am really at my wits end and can not take the daily badgering, and harrasement  because he feels I do not understand and that everyone is out to get him and keep him from his meds.He is in chronic pain and afraid of being in pain, or more pain than he is in. He asked me to write  because he does not believe that anything but drugs will help him. Help!!!!

[jankar]

He is going to hate this!

I lived with a drug addict/ alcoholic/ patient with psychiatric disorder for five years, had a son, 21 next week.  Best thing I ever did was to leave him when my son was 2 and a half, as much as I loved him.  My life has been good since then, my husband's not.  Mine would have been like his had I stayed with him.  There was no way I could help him and help myself and save my son as well.  It was not easy but it was the best thing.

If you cannot leave him, get some support to help you deal with the addiction issues and any psychiatric issues there might be.  (I am not suggesting there are but they often go hand in hand). In retrospect, some understanding around all this for myself and my part in it could have helped perhaps.

Help yourself - he needs to do the same.  You cannot help him - he needs to find some motivation to do the right thing.  Staying alive could do it, being painfree, drugfree and happy?  That could do it for me.  I know that it is easy to turn to illegal drugs for help when things are bad, but blaming the pain for that desire is a little mixed up.

[can-do-man]

Yes bill boceprevir is accepting compensated’ cirrhotic patients i am in it. As for drug testing, NO. Unless you tell them or they suspect it.

Whoa, sorry to hear this. You have both had it tough for a long time. Wishing you both the best

cando

[whoaisme]

technically Giddy is still on the Alinia trial, for six more months,  post med time. Also they like him to be off of any hep c related drugs for at least six months before starting another trial.
I appreciate everyone's responses. Giddy feels that I made him out to be a raging addict. He is really suffering  ( I think emotionally and physically). Although he admits to messing up with his pain mgmt, he still does not feel that altering his lifestyle-- poor eating and smoking, lack of exercise etc, will effect his well being. He is a bright guy and really knows all this, so I am often perplexed by his lack of willingness to help himself any other way than with meds.

[Bill1954]

Whoa-

The reason I ask is that I believe the Boceprevir (protease inhibitor) trials are now recruiting for non-responders, and they are accepting ‘compensated’ cirrhotic patients, if I’m reading the inclusion criteria correctly.

Often, treating the underlying HCV will eliminate cryo; and hopefully his pain (and need for pain management).

Is this something he’d be open to? The caveat being that the trial will drug test; he’d have to manage without street drugs, and discuss the use of prescription narcotic analgesics with the trial coordinator.

Something like this might give him enough hope to pull things together; either way, I wish you both luck.

Take care—

Bill
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beans;

How are you doing :o)

[frijole]

oops - divorcing the man she loves not lose

[frijole]

You have been on this forum a long time.  I knew that Giddy never cleared the hep C and has tried repeatedly but don't remember  issues of current drug use.  Pain management is so hard.  I sympathize with his story and  can even understand his going  illegal to get pain meds.  BUT it seems like it is time to get your life in order.  You know the old question, "What's the definition of stupid?" answer - "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."  If giddy can't see that, I don't know what you can do.  You must heal yourself.  I have a friend who loves her husband dearly but he is a hopeless alcoholic.  He has rehabed over and over, wrecked the car and still drives.  She is afraid he will drive and kill someone and they will lose their house and what is left of his retirement.  Thus she is divorcing the man she lose to preserve herself. Are you in the same place?
frijole

[whoaisme]

Yes, we are old timers here and yes the pain is HCV related, probably from the cryo.

[Bill1954]

I remember you and Giddy from a long time ago in here. Is his pain HCV related?

[desrt]

I would suggest attending some more Al-Anon or Narc-Anon meetings and maybe joining one of MedHelp's addiction forums. I don't see the medical issues getting resolved unless the substance abuse and codependence are dealt with first. Take care of yourself and the rest of it may fall into place. At stage 4 he's going to need at least 6 months clean and sober before he's considered for transplant.

[whoaisme]

I did go once to an Al-Anon meeting, went to an NA meeting with him. Not really consistently, his pain is constant in his hips and legs, some hand pain. I am not sure what his psychiatrist feels about anything....I did go to one appt with him, when he had to come clean to him when his first pain doc stopped treating him..  

[desrt]

1) Do you attend Narc-Anon or Al-Anon meetings?

2) What exactly are his pain issues?

3) How does his psychiatrist feel about methadone maintenance?