insensitivity

[ladybuglola]

Does anyone encounter this situation. Although you've told people at work, home or friends that your going thru treatment and how you feel  they just dont get it.  

I dont know if its because some of us dont look as sick.  I have people at work come to my desk the minute I sit down to first ask how i feel and then proceed to tell me all about their aches paines and problems.  

The positive part of this is that it takes the focus off me and I dont think too much as to how i'm feeling at the moment.  I will mention that i'm feeling like s***, but they dont seem to go away till they've said what their going to say.  

I feel the majority of people out there seem to be very insensitive.  I dont know if its because they cant relate to the aches and pains that we feel from this poison or what.  But it blows me away sometimes.  
Or am I just feeling sorry for myself.  I dont know.  This tx makes me questions myself alot.

[cindyh113]

I just joined this forum the first of the week. This was going to be my next question. These have been my words for the last month. "They just don't get it". "They don't care, they just don't care". "I am beating a dead horse here".
Glad to hear I'm not alone. But I wish it were my co-workers and friends, ITS my family! If you are either lying on the bed or starring aimlessly at the idiot box, do you THINK they might get a clue. Or if your white cells are 1.3 and your sitting in a hospital with your Dad who just had major surgery, THEY might just ask are you doing alright! And then at 8pm and no one has come to the hospital to relieve you, they get angry at you because you leave a message that you need to go home to get your treatment. You know that stuff which could save you or kill you and your paying high dollar for it. I don't need to say anything else. I'm Sorry! Hope someone gets a laugh. And thank God we can and live to help someone else.

[Xenigma]

It's so funny you posted this because I officially ended tx with my last Riba-last night.  I got home from work today got in PJ's and got into bed to do my paperwork.  Hubby comes home and say's
"you're off the meds why are you in bed?-this was supposed to make you feel better!"
If looks could kill he would have been dead!  

2 seconds later my girlfriend from Texas calls to make sure I was feeling OK and that I went for my EOT bloodwork today and that I finished all my Riba-- She's very worried about me.  BTW-not only is she a true friend but went through 2 rounds of chemo/radiation and then they still had to remove both her breasts.  She understands.

When we hung up my hubby comes in and asked "What did she call for??"
'nough said...
enigma

[ladybuglola]

Nail right on the head.
nygirl7:I just found mrs o's letter, AWESOME; PERFECT.  i too am forwarding to my friends, thanks, your great!

[Isobella]

My personal favorite is when they say "I know, I'm tired too."  

Unless you have this--or some other serious illness--you don't know tired like we know tired!

I am going to take R Glass's path and try (for once) to keep my mouth shut.  

Hang in there :-)

Isobella

[can-do-man]

ladybug...  I say that because when I get upset at my hubby I always have to sit back and second guess myself, is my gripe legit or is it the meds.  

--------------------------------------

In that case it has to be the meds.:)

Best to you

cando

[ladybuglola]

lol!!
i was thinking the same thing.  
Talking to all of you just helps soooo very much it reassures me that its just not all in my head and I feel so blessed that I found this forum.
Its hard to try and talk to other people because yeah they are not in our shoes and I understand that....but sometimes i still end up sniveling about it anyway.  
Big hug!
  

[R Glass]

It actually P1sses me off more now that I am finished with tx.
I learned early in tx to just keep my mouth shut because I couldn’t discern between, if it was the Riba. or if I had a justified reason to rip someone a new one.
Oh the passed up opportunities.

[l-horn]

Stop your whining and snivelling !!  haha..

Hey, there are some things a person has to do alone. This is one of those things.

I know how it is. I went through it, we all went through it. Now you're going through it. When my mother went through chemo that was all she could talk about and it drove us all crazy.  When the family or friends didn't call I was angry and felt like they didn't care or understand..and they don't. My mom did because she had been there. That, and of course, she's my mom.

But there's no one in your skin but you sweety. Your illness is yours and when you're done and better the accomplishment of having gone through it and what you learned will be yours as well.

Neither can be taken away from you.

[rita863]

i have thought it if were puking daily and my hair was falling out in clumps then everyone would get it...When I say i am on chemo tx, people so "oh you look really good"  and i want to say do you even remeber what i looked like before i started this tx.  Because i have lost 20 lbs,  i have scabs all over, my hair is cut so short, because it fell out.

good luck
peace
rita

[ladybuglola]

Thats horrible to have to deal with that kind of sensitivity especially when not feeling well.  
I almost want to come in looking sick, but the sicker I feel the more attention I give myself, I think its a way of trying to fake it till I feel as good as I think I look.
eagle and ny, thanks....I needed some self assurance that its not just the meds talking.  I say that because when I get upset at my hubby I always have to sit back and second guess myself, is my gripe legit or is it the meds.  
Hugs....

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

In my opinion you are right on target - and that says a lot about your fellow humans...everyone has problems in this life...but mine are always a little tougher than yours seems to sum up many folks approach to others ailments......

[nygirl7]

Go look on the social side at the Letter to My Healthy Friends ........ I think our old pal Mrs. O came back and asked for it JUST FOR YOU!

Yes - I think we ALL understand - I never really realized how insensitive people were until they would hound me "what kind of cancer do you have what kind of cancer do you have what kind of cancer do you have" when they would find out I was on "chemo" even after telling them I didn't like to think about it or talk about it........I was just SHOCKED at how they just HAD to know, even when I tried to be polite about it.

I tell you - now that I'm not sick, I'm much better prepared to deal with people around me who ARE.  It's a lesson you don't soon forget.