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Hi everyone By now most of you know Audrey has stopped treatment I am happy for her but sad for me She was my rock and now i sit here crying because i don't know anyone else. Audrey has promised to be there but I know once treatment stops you try to forget for awhile that you have this horrible dragon I had to stop tx last year after attemting suicide and then tried to get to my guns when it didn't work. I am on week six and am doing ok except for the small bout of pnuemonia. I am not suicidal or depressed but i really don't have anyone who undersstands what we go through i have 5 kids still at home and they all have thrie own problems because they are teenagers and don't care about anything else lol my husband trys to understand but when he sees me doing most of the normal thuings that a mom has to do he doesn't realize the pain I'm in and probably never will. You know what I'm going thruogh and GOD knows i need help sorry if it sounds like i'm a baby but this is the only way i have to vent Audrey and i corresponded everyday and i am going to miss that so please help me get through this

                        Thank you
                            Helen
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Avatar universal
Hi, treatment can really suck sometimes but you can do it. When I was on treatment it always felt like there was a piece of plastic wrap between me and the rest of the world. Usually the only time I felt there was no invisible barrier is when I talked to the people on this forum. What would we all do without this place? Here no one has to feel alone. There are some thing
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Helen, Hi my name is Cindee and I will be here for ya! You can e-mail me @ ***@**** I am here to help anybody I can, even tho I have replased after 48 wks of combo. I go to Duke the end of April for a clinical trial study. I will not give up the fight. And you listen to Indiana, he has been a MAJOR help to me. He e-mails me the funniest jokes and keeps my spirits up. He is a wonderful man and I truely love him. He is a God send! I will keep you in my prayers. Much love, Cindee

Chevy, Hey girl! I am soooo sorry you are having a rough time right now. But try to remember, "this too shall pass". Even though I'm done w/ tx. and relapsed, I am still battling the ole' nasty dragon. He wants to win, but I swear I will not let him. My fatique is horrible. I stay in my "shell" most days now. I have to make myself go to doctor appointments. I hate to even think of getting dressed...and those are the days I HAVE to go out( to doctors). I wish I could wear my PJ's all the time. I stay up all nite when I have an early doctor appointment, because I'm afraid I will over-sleep! I haven't talked to you in a long time.....but girl just please remember I LOVE YOU. I always read your post, you always make me laugh! I want to Thank-You for that. I wish I could come over and wrap my arms around you and tell you it will be alright. Too bad they don't put us all in a big house so we could be together!!! lol I am praying for you always, remember that too! Cindee

Audrey, I am so sorry to hear you are off tx. Just wanted to suggest...are there any big hospitals close to you, that might would offer you a clinical trial? Only a suggestion. I will be praying for you, and you keep your faith, don't you dare give up. I know you are a fighter! I absoutely HATE HEP C !!!! It's not fair to us, all the **** this horrible disease puts us through. I thought for sure I would beat this, first go-round, but looks like I didn't. I thought, just maybe because I have turned my life around and have been clean for almost 11 yrs and living for the Lord, that I would defeat the devil. I still feel so stupid, trying to do things now that came easy before, w/o having to think!!! (like spelling or trying to converse w/ ppl over the phone) I have to sit at the computer many, many times and try to think of how to spell a word!!!! It's like I have to reach so far into my brain, to spell even the easiest words. Before I post I go back and read my post to correct any mis-spelling. Some days I don't come on line, because I'm too tired to think! I know you will always be here, just like me. I will be looking for your posts, as I always do. You have always been so much help here. You hang in there, and remember I love you very much! Prayers to you, Cindee

Harley Dude, Hey there! I really understand about the little things that get on our nerves. As you know I took in my 10 yr old g.daughter right before Christmas, because her Mother is a crack addict. I love my g.daughter so much and have always been a big part of her life. She gets mad at me all the time, and I don't understand it. She told me tonite as I was tucking her in bed, "you treat my dog better than you treat me!" Talking about HURT. I know I have spoiled her, but I couldn't help it! Now that I have to go to Duke Hospital..she is going to have to live w/ my parents as soon as school is out. I wish I had the $$ to take her to a physcologist. Oh well, I'll stop whinning now! lol You take care and let's both "try" to not let the little things, rent space in our minds. I will if you will...."pinky promise"? I love ya bunches and you are always in my prayers, Cindee
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Avatar universal
....and by the way...should I really have to do spell-check when I AM so tired???????  LOL!!!!

(I forgot that I could.  lol!)  lUV YOU ALL....
Shebee.........................................
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear Miss Helen,


Cry Baby?????

Yep, I've been there...and more.  

I have posted in absolute desperation.... with tear streaming down my face. (I hated that ...BLACK TEARS mixed with peach blush. It is not a pretty picture!)




So what do you do when you sit at your computer and you are so far down...and nobody...YEP.... NOBODY


Knows


or


seems to care?



You sit at a computer and find

that people that are a million miles away love you
and hurt with you

...but they are not close enough to put their arms around you, nor take you to lunch?
























So what do you do?







...From your post, I can see that you have great courage and strength.  When you are at a place that you find that you are alone,





You just must "buck up."  






I am so sorry to give you this information, but what else can I do?  



You dig deep inside yourself and find out what is important...and why.



Cry you tears.... feel sorry for yourself...(you really have good reason)...and then DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO.  


Life is so funny.... when you really NEED someone; you will find that they are not there.  My life is so turned upside down right now.  If I wanted, I could have everything and more...


But what really matters in life?  
YOU MUST REALLY SIT DOWN AND FIND THE ANSWER.





I have thought long and hard and have decided that my family is very important, and I believe that I can make a significant contribution.



Do you really need support?  (Ok, yes, you really do)....




However, support is is a luxury item...




...Just do what you need to do... do your best...(and more)
In some way, this will make a difference.



I have studied much and found that that the "little" people seem to impact a world IN A VERY BIG WAY.


You don't have to be much to shape a nation.




Just be yourself....

YOU have to even less to shape you family and friends.




(And isn't it ironic that you never know what impact that you have on others until you die?  ROTFL!!!!!!!)

Should we just die now?.  Na....not yet.






In conclusion, Shebee says, "Life is ok...if you just live it!"
Ya know what you are suppose to do...jUST DO dO iT!

...because...????????????   Oh, yea,...'Cause it is the right thing to do.

Your crummy Shebee Advice....


From one who has been there and back,
and from one who is far away,
but who cares.

Your,
SHEBEE

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
5 teenagers???  Oh wow...I probably would be long gone so you are doing so good to be on tx with a house full!!  Could you use all the hands in the house as an advantage...Like everyone has a job whether washing clothes, cooking dinner, clean up etc.. and then after they have done their part to help at house...They can plan something that they are wanting to do.  Just a thought...I have 3 girls and they always want shopping money, to go somewhere and you can do this to your advantage and before you know it...You are sitting on couch and watching them all work!!  Well...anyways...it sounds good I know.  We are all here for you so don't be all down,,,You haven't lost audrey as she is sticking around and you have added a forum!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you everyone so much your thoughts make me cry . I do have a shrink monitoring me. Iam not on ad yet but will probably be the next visit. Been to sick to go this week. But i am going I promise Indiana i know you are there and thank you for all the funny e-mails they really do make my day. I am here for anyone who needs me also i can help too. I was helping Audrey and she me Iwill help all of you too. I just feel like i lost my best friend, I know i didn't audrey i know you are still here and i thank you. I am just a little down right now maybe when i go back to work tomorrow i'll feel alittle better. my e-mail is ***@**** for any one who needs help. once again thank you for letting me know i am not alone.
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