wanna die

[alreadydead2yrsago]

I just took 10 pills or ribavirin(400 mg) one shot,and will take my pegasys shot now..I wonder is it gonna kill me! Is it enough to kill me or just gonna be hospitalized and got severe anemia and bleeding!

I wanna die badly,my life is misery,my parents passed away last year after 2 yrs of suffering both from cancer,I live with my brother,he has beaten me directly after my both parents death and force me to break up with my boyfriend and I went into a nervous break down....then I get engaged month later to another guy and figured out I have hep c...now he broke up with me,I'm always alone,this medicine make me unable to be friendly or to talk or move,my full time job is Ruined uop,dun wanna go to work anymore,it's my 7th shot...my fiancé can't handle my pain,hates me,fed up and was never there,he broke up with me,it's not about him,I dun give a damn for him,he was already making me feel lonely all the time and never hugged me when I'm in pain,he is an ***,I'm extreme lonely and my life is misery. I'm in PAIN

[alreadydead2yrsago]

And now I'm home alone,no one will figure out if anything wrong happened to me

[willbb]

Whoa    whats going on ...  talk to us

[researchmonkey326]

If this is true, if you can, please call 911.

[alreadydead2yrsago]

Yep,it's true,but after thinking,I think the 10 pills will not cause something serious....i dun wanna call the emergency, eventually .nothing will happen to me and my brother will not know and my fiancé will not definitely know or care...they already can't believe I'm suffering from this TX and dying from pain.

[willbb]

I am not sure what 2000mg of Riba will do ..prolly not much other than maybe make you sick...but more importantly what is going on  are you going thru tx. on your own   have you got somewhere else to go to get thru it.   Sounds like the bro and the B/F  aren"t helping much ?  What is the pain ?

[Diamando6]

Hi, it is not worth killing yourself.You need to live to do something for your self. This is your life. Your parents are gone, but you are not. So Keep on curing yourself, stop with self pitty, and think of all the people, whou would like to have a chance to cure themselves, but they cannot. They all wanna live. Think about it. You have a gift from God. Use it, and create somehting out of it.

[peaches45]

Please call and get some help....you are worth it....I know you feel alone, but your not...people here will be there for you, just keep talking to us.....

[beeblessed]

You should call 911 anyway and get some help.  If you're set against that, please call the National Suicide Hotline, if only to talk with someone who can help: 1-800-SUICIDE.  MedHelp most likely has a suicide forum too.  God loves you, even if you don't think so.  Life is a gift.  I am so very sorry for your struggle.  Please call the number above and get some help.

[researchmonkey326]

It sounds like you need to be around someone that cares about you and away from your brother and fiance.  Is there anyone that you can call to get you away from there for a few days and maybe clear your head a bit?  Maybe talk to your doctor about your depression?

[researchmonkey326]

Would you mind telling us your first name?  It seems weird not being able to call you by name.  My name is Debra.

[nygirl7]

Hell I took almost that much daily for 72 weeks and I'm still here.

Agree with the other guys please go get help - perhaps the interferon is causing your suicidal ideation please call your doctor immediately and tell him.

[FlGuy]

Riba also comes in 400 mg pills, not just 200 mg.

[alreadydead2yrsago]

I'm 25,and I'm from far country,not USA,I know I got the chance to be cured and to get TX,but I'm tired...I am fighting to survive and live..but emotional and physical pain is unbearable

[researchmonkey326]

The treatment drugs can cause both of those problems and your doctor can help with medications.  Are you able to call your doctor?

[Brandywinne]

So do I but I dont try to kill myself because life is short enough as it is. You need counseling and help with your problems call a crisis line or battered womans shelter please or you can call me if you like and I will talk to you dont klll your self you may end up in pergatory or lost soul if it is true what the bible says. Call 911 Immediatly and tell them what you need they will get you help.

[Trish77]

If you're 25, there is a lot of life ahead of you and it's all for you to choose what to do with it.  So far it seems your life and happiness is way too dependent on other people.  I'm sorry about you losing both your parents, that's tough, really tough.  Sorry about your brother beating you also.  Getting engaged to a guy ONE MONTH after breaking up with the guy before...maybe a little quick eh?  So brush it off and brush him off and take some control of YOUR life.  If he's beating you, get to a shelter and they'll give you some place to be for awhile and help you with counselling to get your sh!t together.  I don't think you want to die at all.  I think you just want the pain and emotional suffering to end.  There ARE steps you can take to make that happen but handing your life over to other people who control all that isn't going to be it.  Talk to people who can help you, professional people.  You will find your own strength and happiness.  Trust me on this one.  

As far as your treatment goes, if you don't have much liver damage and you aren't too far along in treatment, then maybe....just maybe.....treatment can wait until you get your life sorted out and more under your own control.

Put one foot in front of the other and take the steps you need to.  Good luck with all this.

Trish

[alreadydead2yrsago]

Thanks nygirl,then nothing serious will happen to me if u were really taking 4000 mg ribavirin per day..I was. Exaggerating then...I'll try bigger dose next time:) thanks all for your support,I'm just tired and in pain,and no one feel it or know about it...even my friends,each busy in his own life.

I'm from an arab country

[FlGuy]

Just to explain my earlier post a little.  Riba is not just a 200 mg pill.  It also comes in 400 mg and 600 mg pills. So, it's possible that she ate 4,000 mg while eating 10 of them.

Thanks for the translate Trish, I was leaning to that as a guess.

[alreadydead2yrsago]

Thanks trish,appreciate your kind words and support and thank you all for being here..this is where I feel safe,whenever I read ur posts and see the support all around,i feel here that there r ppl who can know what I feel...

I have mixed thoughts,I always have strong will for success and life..but now I'm collapsing,I'm giving up...I can't find anything beautiful,even my fiancé that I loved and tried much to lean on him hated my load and my tiredness. I'm sorry for being talkative,I'm just tired.

[researchmonkey326]

Since Im not familiar with life as a woman in an Arab county, any of the rest of you know what services are realistically available to her?

[curiouslady1]

Doctors can help you with your feelings. They have medicine for that.   Let your doctor know how you are feeling and ask him also for another doctor to talk to.  

[alreadydead2yrsago]

I'll hit my therapist tomorrow if today passed well,thanks research monkey

[willbb]

this is where I feel safe,whenever I read ur posts and see the support all around,i feel here that there r ppl who can know what I feel...

Yes we do.   lots of good people here to help you thru...

[Trish77]

Sometimes....there comes a time when you need to learn to lean on yourself.  Other people want to help but they have lives to live also.  Even if they say they will help, when the time comes, sometimes it's a bit much for them.  

Sometimes it helps just to talk about it.  I hope this helped get it off your chest.  I think you need to really have the courage to make changes for yourself.  I don't know what is available to you in your country for supports, here there are women's shelters and counsellors. I think it's not easy being a young single woman in an Arab country...but there is always a way and I believe you will find it.  One step forward at a time.  Good luck.

Oh....and how many mg are your ribavirin pills?  FlGuy makes a good point...200mg or 400mg or...?  How much total dosage have you taken?