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SEX

by autumnhope, Oct 11, 2007 01:22AM
Ok I need to know if I need to keep using these damn condoms? I have been married 14 years and dont plan on that changing. So no mutiple partners or anything. The Dr said it would be safe not to use protection and just get my hubby tested every so often. We have used condoms since we found out about Hep C. My hubby is clean, test came back perfect. He doesnt want to use protection anymore but I am not so sure. If he cant get it from me then why test every so often? This is starting to be a big deal around here. I finally told him to be happy with what he got because it may all end when I start tx. I hope not but chances are they will. So the ? is use protection or not?
Member Comments (45)

by meki, Oct 11, 2007 02:50AM
I'll be very honest.

My hubby and I had sex in every single imaginable way --- prior to my diagnosis. We figure I've been infected since my pregnancy about 12 years ago.

Anyhow - we were unprotected all of that time... during menses - all sorts of angles, positions, etc... LOL!

We have also been involved in a serious car accident - with lots of bleeding involved.

At first I was freaked about sex with protection... I made him wear his raincoat --- rain or shine... LOL!

But honestly - now... well two things...

We're married... for better or worse. (I'm SVR now... plan to stay that way.)

He didn't get it before - and I really don't think sex is a real factor on HCV.

I believe (and this is just my opinion) that sex is a non-risk factor, unless you're into ripping tearing rough anal sex... or you're VERY abraded and bleeding with open wounds - both of you.

It's not a bodily fluid contagious disease. Just Blood.

Now - with that caveat - there are some people who have open wounds... in very private areas --- and it's hard to tell when they are bleeding (think herpes, genital warts or any other puncture wounds that are miniscule, but actively bleeding.. .And it IS POSSIBLE... Just not likely.

Kind of like --- It's possible to get hit by a train.

But you really have to make it happen... Like Getting stuck on the tracks --- or jumping out in front of it.

So  - Yeah - protected sex is a good idea during your period... or times when either of you are abraded or if you're going to have anal sex or any type of rough sex.

Now - about TX side effects... will you be horny when you're on TX?

Hmmm...

Well there were some days I could - and some days when sex was so far out of the picture that it wasn't even imaginable.

Those were the days the tissue box on the side of the bed got used.

But don't discount your husband's needs as well ---- get involved prior to TX... Check out some toys online. Sex is very important in keeping your relationship healthy... Especially for men.  Invest in something silly like a "FLESHLIGHT" or something that he can participate with on his own --- A LOT... Buy lots of lubricant... Because the TX can cause extreme dryness... You'll also be prone to yeast infections --- so keep on top of that (at least I was).

Be prepared to just lay there --- and let your mind wander... Don't worry --- LMAO - if you're like the rest of us - You'll have forgotten it 15 minutes later... LOL! Brain fog is quite interesting.

But there will be times that you'll want to be held... and times when the last thing you want is someone touching you.

You've got a good man who loves you. Let him - as a consenting adult make the decision... As long as he is forewarned - knows the risks... Check them out online - show him...  But let him make his choices.

And do get him tested --- I advocate routine yearly or every 2 year testing.

I hope my honest answers helped a little bit.

Meki

by charm27, Oct 11, 2007 10:28AM
None of my partners EVER got HepC from me. They were tested for years . They were always negative.

by PSP-n-Me, Oct 11, 2007 10:46AM
To: sex???
sex????? on tx???? LMAO!  I don't even have the breath to sing let alone even think about sex...LOL

by charm27, Oct 11, 2007 12:14PM
To: PSP-n-Me
hahhahaha--funny.

by PSP-n-Me, Oct 11, 2007 12:25PM
To: charm
hehe (hubby doesn't think it's funnyLOL)

by charm27, Oct 11, 2007 12:33PM
To: PSP-N-ME
Im sure not. Its not funny---but got to laugh anyway!!

by PSP-n-Me, Oct 11, 2007 01:25PM
To: charm
I know  hehehehe  I laugh all the time - I know me bad LOL

by R Glass, Oct 11, 2007 05:23PM
To: autumnhope
I have been married for the last 25 years and contacted HepC before I met my wife. She was diagnosed Neg about 3 Months ago.

by autumnhope, Oct 11, 2007 05:31PM
To: everyone
Not funny !!! I am still young and enjoy a little romp. so does the hubby. I wont let him read this no need in both of us being depressed. I dont know if he would do the toy thing byhimself and I know I would laugh my butt off.
Hey maybe I just found my antidepressant! Just give the hubby a sex toy and enjoy
Thanks

by beamishboy, Oct 11, 2007 05:45PM
sex is a wonderful antidote for trx blues...SEX for SX"S

by meki, Oct 11, 2007 05:47PM
It is quite amusing to watch...

LMAO!

by charm27, Oct 11, 2007 06:00PM
To: autumnhope
enjoy your romp! You'll find out as you get older it doesnt matter how old you are 35-45-or 55!

A romp is a romp!!!!

BE good

by debnevada, Oct 11, 2007 06:12PM
yeah, autumn, you're never "too old" to romp

by albany, Oct 11, 2007 11:11PM
To: all
I am so glad to see this topic up here.  Was hesitant to ask.  I finally mentioned to my nurse yesterday that one of the MAJOR part of my 'frustration' that I am dealing with is sexual.  I seem to want it more and more....and think about it more and more  ...  and frustratingly so!  I am at work, saying "who wants coffee" JUST so I can do a coffee run stop home REAL quick ...  man, am I sick!  but, just the same, I am glad to hear others have the same thoughts going on too.  Although I think I feel too crappy / breathless to do MUCH, it doesn't change the WANTING!
Thanks :)
Albany

by nygirl7, Oct 12, 2007 09:04AM
I don't even remember what that word means anymore but...............as long as you practice SafeR sex with the R.....

Or lord I don't wanna think about it.

by beamishboy, Oct 12, 2007 12:20PM
To: nygirl7
think,mull,marvel,remember mmmmmm?

by gauf, Oct 12, 2007 02:17PM
To: all
My wife closed up shop 2 years ago due to meds and mental pause.  Life sucks. What is a fleshlight?

by gauf, Oct 12, 2007 03:13PM
To: all
Never mind, I googled it. omg

by spcecst2, Oct 12, 2007 04:04PM
the anit depressents are the sex killers during treatment I've done it with and without it!

by meki, Oct 13, 2007 06:30PM
ROFLMAO!!!

poor Gauf!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...

by meki, Oct 13, 2007 06:36PM
Was that an eye opener?

Would you believe my best friend's son (19 years old... just got his own aparment) is the one who "taught" me about it...

LMAO

I better explain.

I was helping the move in...

And it kinda fell out of the box... He hadn't put the lid on tight on the fleshlight... It popped open...

you wouldn't have known what it was - if you didn't have it open... LMAO!

I kinda stood there with an open mouth going - uhm. uhm.. ah.. uhm.. wondering whether to scream with laughter or handle it like a grown up. And wondering how to pick it up without touching it... Sheesh - how many times had it been used...

AND ALL WITHOUT ALERTING His parents... LOL!

I went over and tapped him on the shoulder and he got all embarrassed...

Later he bought Pizza - and I asked him what the heck it "really" was (I mean - it was kinda obvious "what it was" but not the details.

He politely --- and blushingly told me the basic concept - and name... then I looked it up...

ROFLMAO!

So there... that's how I know about it!

But don't ask how many I've picked up for the hubby.

by gauf, Oct 14, 2007 04:52PM
To: meki
no demonstration?  Um, why would hubby need more than one? Are they disposable?

by beamishboy, Oct 16, 2007 08:31AM
To: sex?
just couldn't resist bringing this thread back up to the top o' the pile.....anyone have another sex comment,experience,unusual 'toy' they wish to share?..can we shed a little light on this particular device?i dare not goggle-afraid it would attract spamming ladys from wired world...no such thing as a free lunch or look....

by nygirl7, Oct 16, 2007 08:54AM
LOL now I HAVE to google it - I'm at work but so I doubt anything will come up but I'm afraid to go home and look it up tonight and have my son catch me - oh my God that would kill him! You know us old people never had sex in our lives or something...or we stopped after we hit 25.  But gosh I want to know.
I hate being so damn nosey!

by nygirl7, Oct 16, 2007 08:57AM
To: Gauf
OK Wikipedia even has pictures next to it.  Gosh how did I get this old without even knowing about such things? Holy cow.

It looks like there are different kinds for the different matching body parts that open Gauf.......uh huh really.  Mouth...hiney...uh places if you get it.

by gauf, Oct 16, 2007 09:09AM
To: nygirl7
I don't see a place for batteries. No Batteries!?!  What a rip off!

by meki, Oct 16, 2007 12:20PM
ROFLMAO!!!

It's all hand ---er--- uhm... action.

by MannyC, Oct 16, 2007 12:26PM
So does a light actually *** on? If the power went out, wood I be able to find my way around? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

by gauf, Oct 16, 2007 12:51PM
To: Meki
In that case, I already own two.

by meki, Oct 16, 2007 01:43PM
Manny you goof... And gauf... no kidding? Double entendre with a side of sarcasm? ROFLMAO!

And gauf... Of course... LOL!

by beamishboy, Oct 16, 2007 06:11PM
To: meki
hey!! i thot it was sum kinda power tool too....used in the bedroom and mebbe doubled as a reading lite?....no batteries is great . can you recharge it by shaking yr moneymaker?

by albany, Oct 16, 2007 09:32PM
To: all
lmao this thread is too funny...thanks for the laughs.  
FYI, for anyone in Toronto area, this weekend is the "everything to do with sex show" ... and I know that there are more toys for both women AND men there.  I have worked in the 'adult toy boutique' once before at a sex show, had great fun, and got paid, and hopefully, if not sick with Sx, will be working there this weekend.  Here is the link to the website:
http://www.everythingtodowithsex.com/

by froggydan, Oct 17, 2007 07:35AM
To: autumnhope
I still think that sex with my partner was&is the best anti-depressant in this "journey" even if after week 40 i sometimes feel to tired to do it...and don't forget : in your nickname is the word "hope"  ;-)  hope&success,thats the best i hope for you !

by Robin_Fla, Oct 17, 2007 07:10PM
To: autumnhope
Man, these threads sure do get sidetracked, but the siderails here are pretty amusing. :-)

I read a good bit about sexual transmission and also talked to numerous docs. While none were entirely committal, they all agreed (as do published studies) that transmission through monogamous hetero sex is very, very slim.

As with Meki, I was undiagnosed for 20+ years, and within that time I had unprotected sex with my partner for 12-13 years, with no regard to caution. After several years, I ended up getting herpes from him (which I knew going in that he had) but he never got HCV.

These days, I have sex w/o condom with my current husband but we ARE very careful about any possible exchange of blood. No intercourse during period, no use of razor, toothbrush (yuk anyway!), nail clippers etc. He gets tested annually, and he also got vaccinated against A & B.

These days it is a non-issue as I am into 8 mos of tx and sure don't feel like sex. Gonna try to work on that though! ;-)

Sex w/o condom does pose some risk so doc will usually advise safe sex practices, but the risk vs the impracticality didn't weigh for me. Take a look at some of the studies...

all the best,

Robin

by meki, Oct 18, 2007 02:50AM
sidetracking?

Is that a new position?

LMAO!

by Joseebus, Jan 06, 2008 12:46PM
Wow. Some great laughs in here! :-)

Just thought I'd put in my two cents being a male in a gay relationship (and I hope I'm not sharing too much lol).

My partner was diagnosed as a "recent exposure" back in October (we suspect exposure in late August/early September) and he has been on treatment since. He's a geno 2 and he thankfully is responding to treatment wonderfully.

Anyway - As soon as we found out about it I got tested and was told by my doctor who knows about my lifestyle that the sexual risk just really isn't there yet condoms for anal are a good idea as it is easier to damage the lining of the rectum than it is to damage the lining of the vagina and since anal sex can be rough, it could be easier for him to "rough himself up" inside me which could cause blood-to-blood contact.

I came back negative (as I thought I would) and it was a bit of a relief as I've read all these horrible things regarding HCV sexual transmission and gay men - but then again it was on an HIV site so I don't know - so knowing that we could remain sexually active was a great relief to me. Granted about 80-90% of our sex life is oral (which the risk is practically non-existent as long as you're not into shaving and bloodsports too), yet knowing that anal with protection was still okay was awesome.

It's really helped him while he's been on treatment. I think he was really worried about having given it to me in that 6 week window between exposure and testing. Granted there are days when he's very lethargic and doesn't feel like doing much, but the days that he's "on" it's wonderful and it seems to really help him deal with the stress of this.

Just my two cents from a different perspective. The bottom line is that hep C is NOT a sexually transmitted disease as long as blood-to-blood contact is not involved.

by jmjm530, Jan 06, 2008 01:25PM
As some of you know, I have a monogamous relationship with my sex-doll, "Jenna".

While latex is quite flexible, Jenna probably can't outperform "Meki" in terms of "having sex every single imaginable way", but then again, she only cost $29.95. And let me add that she requires very little mainteance,  as Jenna will perform the same whether I take her out to dinner nice or not.

As to precautions, no sharing of razors (she might explode) and no sharing of tooth brushes (she has no teeth). Still, at least until I became SVR, every few months  I took an air sample and send it off to HR's lab for HCV analysis via those very senstive tests. They all came back UND although one result did suggest a trace of helium, which may account for the fact that Jenna always seems to rise for the occasion.

I do understand that some of you may have real relationships with an actual spouse, but there are alternatives out there.

-- Jim

by Willy50, Jan 06, 2008 01:41PM
"The bottom line is that hep C is NOT a sexually transmitted disease as long as blood-to-blood contact is not involved. "
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Welcome and I couldn't resist; excellent pun in your last paragraph.  : )

I don't think it's too much information and besides HCV is not for the weak of heart anyway.  Sooner or later we have to face and deal with all aspects of the virus.  Thanks for posting your information, solutions and results.

I want to clarify or even undercut one point.  Even with hetersexual sexual relations there is a range of infection rates.  As they say in advertisements; "your actual milage may vary".  The deal is that so far as sex we all have different experiences.  It's true even for ourselves at different times in our lives and with the same or different partners.  One comparison might be between 20 year olds in the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship versus folks that have been married for 50 years.  Although both are hetersexual relationships there is going to be a difference in frequency, duration, and lets just say"enthusiasm" involving sex between the two cases.  That will impact (love using that word in a transmission thread) on the transmission rates.

Just as all "straight" sex is not the same, the experience also varies in gay sex.  There are some cases where the likelihood of sexual transmission increases.  There have been reports of increased transmission rates where group or enduro sessions take place, particularly with the use of meth.  I am not trying to paint this as a picture of normal MSM relations but only want to point out that it is on the radar and ends up impacting on the transmission rates.

I appreciate your post.  I am of the opinion that just as so called straight couples can have safe(r) sex while one partner is infected, I think it is important for other gay couples to get information on the same.  A lot of living with this disease is learning how to live with it without (or with less) fear.

best,
willy

by Joseebus, Jan 06, 2008 02:16PM
I agree. I think that many of these reports on sexual transmission wind up tainted with drug use, other STDs, and other factors that influence these sexual transmission rates sometimes up to 15% and as such freaks people out about sex and HCV. I swear if I hear one more "Pam Anderson hep C hooker" comment...

It definitely comes down to an individual relationship analysis I suppose. I'm actually pretty damn "vanilla" by gay standards so I'm not too concerned about it. lol

Have fun, stay sexually active, but don't go crazy and just use common sense. I think that pretty much sums it up.

by Anonymous225, Jan 06, 2008 09:04PM
To: all
Who the hell feels like having sex on this suff????????????

by beamishboy, Jan 06, 2008 11:47PM
sex was my favorite antidote for trx blues-endomorphins y'know?...now it is just grandslam,.wonderful exercise
jmjm-how longterm is this relationship?.i mean a $29 sex toy nowadays would maybe get ya one rubber glove&a drop of lubricant....and just what did happen to jenna's teeth...not that You miss them,i'm sure....
how can ya resisat a sex posting...and yeah i sure loved reading meki's remarks(way back when..)...someone is a very lucky fella..

by Lady Lauri, Jan 07, 2008 02:11AM
To: Joseebus, all
  Started reading and thought Meki was back posting today!

Joseebus, Welcome and I admire your ability to be so open in what many are afraid to discuss. I have a close family member that is gay and watched him suffer thru the ‘hiding’ years of his life, which led him to the ‘wrong’ gay relationships at first. Glad things are working well for you both :} during tx.
  
Meki….wink, wink! All I’m going to say :}

I agree in the point of different partners thru life, different sexual experimentation , different risk factors, etc.
( I think that boils down to the best, most frequent, playful sex is the riskiest, ho hum sex less risk. J/K…sort of. LOL!)

In my research on sex ( you just have to grin a lot in these post:}…..the only time I think I’d be more concerned is during menses’ -if you do than cover up. Just makes sense to me due to the presence of blood and if your having that …let’s say not married 50 years sex…..more possibility of tearing, etc.
  I also repeat again, my liver specialist and another Dr. and the trial nurse have all told me no need for the condoms-but did make the comments on more caution during menses , tho all still slim chance.  (All of these comments refer to faithful, monogamous sex.)

Someone correct me if I am wrong tho, and of course this would not apply to gay sex…..but isn’t it true the female is at more risk for contracting? (or I guess in gay sex the receiving partner??)

As per sex during tx  “Mr. will probably never need Viagra in his life now after ‘stand up’ performing thru tx”   : }…Beamish……..we’ve heard a lot from women about it, and for me it’s been the only thing that has made me ‘just don’t care’! It’s the fatigue, sickly feeling as trust me….I am IN bed a lot and bored!

  Time for a poll on sex on tx for women and men…
A. Wanted more
B. Wanted it, had to throw up half way into it :}
C. Helped feel better.
D. Get the h*ll away from me.
E. If you’ll massage my painful muscles first :}
F. Divorced during tx cause my partner went down the street for it!
Oh yeah….and G. had a plastic partner so just deflated her during tx …. :}

BTW Jim...... I went shopping for a male blow up doll for a friends 45th birthday (who is too crabby to get a real date!) and I think we may need to upgrade your Jenna soon! Didn't get her one as they were not $29.00 and wasn't spending that on a gag gift. Just how old is Jenna and would she consider an arrangement like ol' Hugh Hefner where you can bring in more 'dolls' ??

LL

by Lady Lauri, Jan 07, 2008 02:21AM
To: Albany, all
  Just re-read this thread, too funny. Do remember it now!

Albany...your post "all i can think about, want it more", LOL. Could also be your in your prime dear :} 30's were great sex years.Even drugs can't kill the 'prime time' :}  And just to let you know....the 'prime' last awhile :}
  Or did until tx :{

                                                                           LL

by Lady Lauri, Jan 07, 2008 02:26AM
To: My whackos up there!
  Just saw that my internet whacko posted on this back than. Froggy Dan, than to be The Frog and now...who knows what the next name will be! Wonder why that profile shows up if he was banned on that name, and now the other too?

  

by R Glass, Jan 07, 2008 04:28PM
I just hope my parts grow back after tx. I won’t even look in the mirror any more.
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