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SEX
by autumnhope, Oct 11, 2007 01:22AM
Ok I need to know if I need to keep using these damn condoms? I have been married 14 years and dont plan on that changing. So no mutiple partners or anything. The Dr said it would be safe not to use protection and just get my hubby tested every so often. We have used condoms since we found out about Hep C. My hubby is clean, test came back perfect. He doesnt want to use protection anymore but I am not so sure. If he cant get it from me then why test every so often? This is starting to be a big deal around here. I finally told him to be happy with what he got because it may all end when I start tx. I hope not but chances are they will. So the ? is use protection or not?
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My hubby and I had sex in every single imaginable way --- prior to my diagnosis. We figure I've been infected since my pregnancy about 12 years ago.
Anyhow - we were unprotected all of that time... during menses - all sorts of angles, positions, etc... LOL!
We have also been involved in a serious car accident - with lots of bleeding involved.
At first I was freaked about sex with protection... I made him wear his raincoat --- rain or shine... LOL!
But honestly - now... well two things...
We're married... for better or worse. (I'm SVR now... plan to stay that way.)
He didn't get it before - and I really don't think sex is a real factor on HCV.
I believe (and this is just my opinion) that sex is a non-risk factor, unless you're into ripping tearing rough anal sex... or you're VERY abraded and bleeding with open wounds - both of you.
It's not a bodily fluid contagious disease. Just Blood.
Now - with that caveat - there are some people who have open wounds... in very private areas --- and it's hard to tell when they are bleeding (think herpes, genital warts or any other puncture wounds that are miniscule, but actively bleeding.. .And it IS POSSIBLE... Just not likely.
Kind of like --- It's possible to get hit by a train.
But you really have to make it happen... Like Getting stuck on the tracks --- or jumping out in front of it.
So - Yeah - protected sex is a good idea during your period... or times when either of you are abraded or if you're going to have anal sex or any type of rough sex.
Now - about TX side effects... will you be horny when you're on TX?
Hmmm...
Well there were some days I could - and some days when sex was so far out of the picture that it wasn't even imaginable.
Those were the days the tissue box on the side of the bed got used.
But don't discount your husband's needs as well ---- get involved prior to TX... Check out some toys online. Sex is very important in keeping your relationship healthy... Especially for men. Invest in something silly like a "FLESHLIGHT" or something that he can participate with on his own --- A LOT... Buy lots of lubricant... Because the TX can cause extreme dryness... You'll also be prone to yeast infections --- so keep on top of that (at least I was).
Be prepared to just lay there --- and let your mind wander... Don't worry --- LMAO - if you're like the rest of us - You'll have forgotten it 15 minutes later... LOL! Brain fog is quite interesting.
But there will be times that you'll want to be held... and times when the last thing you want is someone touching you.
You've got a good man who loves you. Let him - as a consenting adult make the decision... As long as he is forewarned - knows the risks... Check them out online - show him... But let him make his choices.
And do get him tested --- I advocate routine yearly or every 2 year testing.
I hope my honest answers helped a little bit.
Meki
Hey maybe I just found my antidepressant! Just give the hubby a sex toy and enjoy
Thanks
LMAO!
A romp is a romp!!!!
BE good
Thanks :)
Albany
Or lord I don't wanna think about it.
poor Gauf!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL...
Would you believe my best friend's son (19 years old... just got his own aparment) is the one who "taught" me about it...
LMAO
I better explain.
I was helping the move in...
And it kinda fell out of the box... He hadn't put the lid on tight on the fleshlight... It popped open...
you wouldn't have known what it was - if you didn't have it open... LMAO!
I kinda stood there with an open mouth going - uhm. uhm.. ah.. uhm.. wondering whether to scream with laughter or handle it like a grown up. And wondering how to pick it up without touching it... Sheesh - how many times had it been used...
AND ALL WITHOUT ALERTING His parents... LOL!
I went over and tapped him on the shoulder and he got all embarrassed...
Later he bought Pizza - and I asked him what the heck it "really" was (I mean - it was kinda obvious "what it was" but not the details.
He politely --- and blushingly told me the basic concept - and name... then I looked it up...
ROFLMAO!
So there... that's how I know about it!
But don't ask how many I've picked up for the hubby.
I hate being so damn nosey!
It looks like there are different kinds for the different matching body parts that open Gauf.......uh huh really. Mouth...hiney...uh places if you get it.
It's all hand ---er--- uhm... action.
And gauf... Of course... LOL!
FYI, for anyone in Toronto area, this weekend is the "everything to do with sex show" ... and I know that there are more toys for both women AND men there. I have worked in the 'adult toy boutique' once before at a sex show, had great fun, and got paid, and hopefully, if not sick with Sx, will be working there this weekend. Here is the link to the website:
http://www.everythingtodowithsex.com/
I read a good bit about sexual transmission and also talked to numerous docs. While none were entirely committal, they all agreed (as do published studies) that transmission through monogamous hetero sex is very, very slim.
As with Meki, I was undiagnosed for 20+ years, and within that time I had unprotected sex with my partner for 12-13 years, with no regard to caution. After several years, I ended up getting herpes from him (which I knew going in that he had) but he never got HCV.
These days, I have sex w/o condom with my current husband but we ARE very careful about any possible exchange of blood. No intercourse during period, no use of razor, toothbrush (yuk anyway!), nail clippers etc. He gets tested annually, and he also got vaccinated against A & B.
These days it is a non-issue as I am into 8 mos of tx and sure don't feel like sex. Gonna try to work on that though! ;-)
Sex w/o condom does pose some risk so doc will usually advise safe sex practices, but the risk vs the impracticality didn't weigh for me. Take a look at some of the studies...
all the best,
Robin
Is that a new position?
LMAO!
Just thought I'd put in my two cents being a male in a gay relationship (and I hope I'm not sharing too much lol).
My partner was diagnosed as a "recent exposure" back in October (we suspect exposure in late August/early September) and he has been on treatment since. He's a geno 2 and he thankfully is responding to treatment wonderfully.
Anyway - As soon as we found out about it I got tested and was told by my doctor who knows about my lifestyle that the sexual risk just really isn't there yet condoms for anal are a good idea as it is easier to damage the lining of the rectum than it is to damage the lining of the vagina and since anal sex can be rough, it could be easier for him to "rough himself up" inside me which could cause blood-to-blood contact.
I came back negative (as I thought I would) and it was a bit of a relief as I've read all these horrible things regarding HCV sexual transmission and gay men - but then again it was on an HIV site so I don't know - so knowing that we could remain sexually active was a great relief to me. Granted about 80-90% of our sex life is oral (which the risk is practically non-existent as long as you're not into shaving and bloodsports too), yet knowing that anal with protection was still okay was awesome.
It's really helped him while he's been on treatment. I think he was really worried about having given it to me in that 6 week window between exposure and testing. Granted there are days when he's very lethargic and doesn't feel like doing much, but the days that he's "on" it's wonderful and it seems to really help him deal with the stress of this.
Just my two cents from a different perspective. The bottom line is that hep C is NOT a sexually transmitted disease as long as blood-to-blood contact is not involved.
While latex is quite flexible, Jenna probably can't outperform "Meki" in terms of "having sex every single imaginable way", but then again, she only cost $29.95. And let me add that she requires very little mainteance, as Jenna will perform the same whether I take her out to dinner nice or not.
As to precautions, no sharing of razors (she might explode) and no sharing of tooth brushes (she has no teeth). Still, at least until I became SVR, every few months I took an air sample and send it off to HR's lab for HCV analysis via those very senstive tests. They all came back UND although one result did suggest a trace of helium, which may account for the fact that Jenna always seems to rise for the occasion.
I do understand that some of you may have real relationships with an actual spouse, but there are alternatives out there.
-- Jim
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Welcome and I couldn't resist; excellent pun in your last paragraph. : )
I don't think it's too much information and besides HCV is not for the weak of heart anyway. Sooner or later we have to face and deal with all aspects of the virus. Thanks for posting your information, solutions and results.
I want to clarify or even undercut one point. Even with hetersexual sexual relations there is a range of infection rates. As they say in advertisements; "your actual milage may vary". The deal is that so far as sex we all have different experiences. It's true even for ourselves at different times in our lives and with the same or different partners. One comparison might be between 20 year olds in the "honeymoon" phase of a relationship versus folks that have been married for 50 years. Although both are hetersexual relationships there is going to be a difference in frequency, duration, and lets just say"enthusiasm" involving sex between the two cases. That will impact (love using that word in a transmission thread) on the transmission rates.
Just as all "straight" sex is not the same, the experience also varies in gay sex. There are some cases where the likelihood of sexual transmission increases. There have been reports of increased transmission rates where group or enduro sessions take place, particularly with the use of meth. I am not trying to paint this as a picture of normal MSM relations but only want to point out that it is on the radar and ends up impacting on the transmission rates.
I appreciate your post. I am of the opinion that just as so called straight couples can have safe(r) sex while one partner is infected, I think it is important for other gay couples to get information on the same. A lot of living with this disease is learning how to live with it without (or with less) fear.
best,
willy
It definitely comes down to an individual relationship analysis I suppose. I'm actually pretty damn "vanilla" by gay standards so I'm not too concerned about it. lol
Have fun, stay sexually active, but don't go crazy and just use common sense. I think that pretty much sums it up.
jmjm-how longterm is this relationship?.i mean a $29 sex toy nowadays would maybe get ya one rubber glove&a drop of lubricant....and just what did happen to jenna's teeth...not that You miss them,i'm sure....
how can ya resisat a sex posting...and yeah i sure loved reading meki's remarks(way back when..)...someone is a very lucky fella..
Joseebus, Welcome and I admire your ability to be so open in what many are afraid to discuss. I have a close family member that is gay and watched him suffer thru the ‘hiding’ years of his life, which led him to the ‘wrong’ gay relationships at first. Glad things are working well for you both :} during tx.
Meki….wink, wink! All I’m going to say :}
I agree in the point of different partners thru life, different sexual experimentation , different risk factors, etc.
( I think that boils down to the best, most frequent, playful sex is the riskiest, ho hum sex less risk. J/K…sort of. LOL!)
In my research on sex ( you just have to grin a lot in these post:}…..the only time I think I’d be more concerned is during menses’ -if you do than cover up. Just makes sense to me due to the presence of blood and if your having that …let’s say not married 50 years sex…..more possibility of tearing, etc.
I also repeat again, my liver specialist and another Dr. and the trial nurse have all told me no need for the condoms-but did make the comments on more caution during menses , tho all still slim chance. (All of these comments refer to faithful, monogamous sex.)
Someone correct me if I am wrong tho, and of course this would not apply to gay sex…..but isn’t it true the female is at more risk for contracting? (or I guess in gay sex the receiving partner??)
As per sex during tx “Mr. will probably never need Viagra in his life now after ‘stand up’ performing thru tx” : }…Beamish……..we’ve heard a lot from women about it, and for me it’s been the only thing that has made me ‘just don’t care’! It’s the fatigue, sickly feeling as trust me….I am IN bed a lot and bored!
Time for a poll on sex on tx for women and men…
A. Wanted more
B. Wanted it, had to throw up half way into it :}
C. Helped feel better.
D. Get the h*ll away from me.
E. If you’ll massage my painful muscles first :}
F. Divorced during tx cause my partner went down the street for it!
Oh yeah….and G. had a plastic partner so just deflated her during tx …. :}
BTW Jim...... I went shopping for a male blow up doll for a friends 45th birthday (who is too crabby to get a real date!) and I think we may need to upgrade your Jenna soon! Didn't get her one as they were not $29.00 and wasn't spending that on a gag gift. Just how old is Jenna and would she consider an arrangement like ol' Hugh Hefner where you can bring in more 'dolls' ??
LL
Albany...your post "all i can think about, want it more", LOL. Could also be your in your prime dear :} 30's were great sex years.Even drugs can't kill the 'prime time' :} And just to let you know....the 'prime' last awhile :}
Or did until tx :{
LL