1 Year Post Coming - God I'm Scared

[nygirl7]

OK how stupid is this........I'm about two or three weeks away from my one year post test and all of a sudden I'm so SCARED I can't breath.  Logically, my mind says don't be stupid but my tests have been so screwed up with the false positive and then finally the UNDs that I can't stand it.

Honestly I'm almost thinking of not even getting it.  hey my doctor seems to have forgotten it...no word from him.....

has everybody taken all of their post treatment tests?  I'm sort of just wanting to let it go and live with the SVR of the 8 month test result...all of a sudden I'm just petrified again like during treatment.

Anybody out there skipped the year test?

[GoofyDad]

FL - you should have looked for the teva sandals with socks. That was me. Yeah - those guys are wild. Te thing is that wave comes up so quick, if you're not perfect you either miss iot (late) or literally fall off the front (early). We bought lunch from a college age girl who surfed a diff Mav competition.

FSG - Cut off your left pinky and what would you pick your nose with when you're on the phone? Surely not a different finger.... so unladylike, that!!!

[sunspot]

It’s understandable to be nervous when the time draws near. I put off/forgot my one year test for two months. I can’t think that you would be anything but SVR at this point so go ahead and do it!!

[Tallahassee]

I couldn't say better, so I'll just copy Mike's comment and ditto it!! :-)
---
"That's normal. The problem is that if you continue to be too scared to  breathe you'll never even see the undetectable results - you'll be dead. So start breathing slow and easy and everything will be alright. I promise. Mike"
---

[susan400]

Okay, so the big question is, are you going to retest, or say, forget about it????   Just wondering???

Susan

[nygirl7]

YAY wigs on the way woo hoo!

You wait to see how much BETTER you are going to feel about yourself!  It does takea little time to get used to wearing them but after a while you don't even really notice.  Just be careful brushing your "hair"...the first time I did it at my desk I pulled the thing straight off my head!  Thank God nobody was around - such a ME thing to happen, I'm ALWAYS embarrassing myself like that LOL.

I have gotten like probably 15 of them over the past year or two. Some I liked, some I didn't (mostly it's a color issue). I have blonds and reds and streaked ones (my favorite) and straight and curly and brunette - it confuses the 'men' at work so much! The women are smart enough to figure it out but I swear some of the men are like "wow you get your hair done so OFTEN don't you?" of course...I don't tell them anything!

I'm so happy for you - let me know when you get them.

Oh yeah - you might have to trim them a little to fit your face. My "bangs" are always way too long even if I sweep them over to the side so I just trim them CAREFULLY, remember - they don't grow back hahah.

GOOD LUCK I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!

[ladywhy]

Totally understandable. I agree w/Goofs assessment..but (I think) knowin' you, waiting will only stress you out more. Do what YOU need to do and I believe you got this licked!!
Can't wait to hear the good news!
y

ps. wigs being shipped.. I'm lookin' forward to getting it! That's wwhat I love about e-bay. Presents!!!

[jdwithhcv]

Please don't drag your heels on the colon cancer testing.  It cannot be ruled out with a blood test (sorry alagirl) colonoscopy is the only reliable way to do that.  Colon cancer is a very preventable/treatable disease with testing and early detection.  It is an absolute horror if not found early.  I was in Stage 3 (almost 4) when diagnosed and believe me, it was pure hell.

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well.

Una

[dointime]

Thanks for info on colon cancer testing.
dointime.

[anise]

Yep, I skipped my 1 year post!  I didn't go through treatment near the length of time you did, only 6 months treatment, but I was a 'nervous baby' thinking of that 1 year post pcr.  So I waited until a year and a half.  Thank god it was negative.  I sure know how you feel.  However, if I did take that 1 year post I wouldn't have thought about it for another 6 months.  In my opinion, swallow and take the test.  When you come back negative we will all be cheering loudly for you.  Plus your mind will be at rest.  Cheers!

[Forseegood]

yeah, do whatever you want like Goof said,then the pressure is off, the devil is in expectations...besides, I'd bet my left pinkie that youre Svr anyway...you know that....

[FlGuy]

Saw a newsy story this past weekend on Maverick.  Was lloking at the crowd video for a guy with miorred sunglasses.  Didn't see you.  Hope you an 'Lil had a good time.  Seems like those guys have a death wish.

[GoofyDad]

Best to just get it over with if you can, of course. But why not blow it off for a while 'till you're ready? What difference would it make? Chill and get caught up on other life issues. Take time out to sniff the adirondack chairs, or whatever it is you guys do there...

Look at 'willing' who waited two years and is glad that he did. We each have our own personal path....

Take care and relax - enjoy what you've got and try not to stress it.

[alagirl]

NYGirl, SVR is very durable, and you are SVR.  Still, its nice for those of us treating to see those SVR post tests stack up, so do it for yourself, and do it for us too!  It WILL come out fine!

Dointime, you know they can do bloodwork that is VERY predictive of your not having colon cancer if you don't have the tumor markers.  Its very fast, and it certainly eased my mind while waiting for other biopsy tests and colonoscopy results to come back.

[nygirl7]

impression that synthroid did a great job of fixing this. is this not true?
it seems in your case, the thyroid problem is frustrating but livable.
is that an accurate assessment or is it really pretty bad?
---

Yup. Actually it's a pretty easy thing taking the one pill a day after what we've all been through with the riba etc. It just pisses me off that I can't fix this problem. You know in here we get so used to finding "solutions" to our problems that i want this one to go away too! I want SVR for my thyroid LOL.

It's not the worst thing in the world, I'm just in a whiny mood about it.

Make sure you get a good Endo doc.  Mine is pretty easy and doesn't make me go in all the time at all anymore about it. THAT I appreciate. I hate when they make you go in just to get a refill...copay copay copay - sure I'll take off time from work and drive all the way there for what to pick up a piece of paper?  Ek that makes me so mad when they do that!

I don't want to go to any doctors anymore!  I should get a physical but since that is where this whole thing started three years ago...I keep putting it off, sometimes it's like I just don't wanna know! I need a break!   :)

[dointime]

After the whole tx routine I think I'll be scared to death of any medical test result I take for the rest of my life.  I bought a home stool test the other day just because I got paranoid about bowel cancer, but I put  off doing it for a week because I just couldn't face the implications of a bad result.  

Anyway, just thought I'd post in support, let you know how much I appreciate your insightful comments on the forum,

dointime    

[wyntre9]

Best wishes and luck to you, deb.

I'm sure you're gonna pass this last hurdle with flying colors.  :)

wyn

[Willy50]

Good luck with the test, and I also agree; GO GET ONE!!

All that it will confirm is that you don't have the virus.  I'm not going out on a limb here; the odds are that only about a percent or less will relapse.  If you were going to......you would have long ago.  Get your test and feel relieved instead of wondering.

Take care....
willy

[orphanedhawk]

I understand.
I've been putting off re-doing my post-tx PCR. I did one but the whole lab thing was strange and my doc said to redo it.
I'm gonna do it next week really. We can compare results.

BTW: I'm sure you'll be fine. You are our inspiration!!

[beamishboy]

hey..!..of course you're on edge over the test...just damned healthy mental exercise...i am  sure you will enjoy the results-gonna be SVR !!again&again&again.
and i'm impressed w/ the extra-workload...((debbie)), everythings gonna be alright...tommy

[susan400]

Debbie, I haven't seen this post of yours until just now.  You know how it is w/this new Medhelp and all...   Anyway, I think you should know by now, that I'm most definitely in your corner!  You go girl!  You rock!   You are going to be fine, I'm and fairly certain of it.  I just cannot imagine any other reading than a big 'ol undetected!    So, girlfriend, 'suck it up',  go on, get it done!   :)

Susan

[cruelworld]

so glad to hear that news. this whole thing has cost you a full 3 years of sheer disaster. i guess you would have to be recovering
at least some to survive all the **** that youve been through lately.
so glad you mentioned the thyroid thing. mine is starting to go
here at week 57 and im a little worried about it. i was under the
impression that synthroid did a great job of fixing this. is this not true?
it seems in your case, the thyroid problem is frustrating but livable.
is that an accurate assessment or is it really pretty bad?

[FloridaMouse]

Just wanted to say I understand the fear.  I was stunned that I was just as nervouse starting a 2nd round of treatment as I was the first.  You would think that since I had already done it once that it wouldn't be as nerve racking.  Guess we heppers will always carry some amount of fear.

Mouse

[nygirl7]

I'm doing much much better health wise.  I think if other things didn't make me so nutty I could say back to pre-treatment days FINALLY.

It was worth it.  It's been almost a year but I can honestly say that my strength is finally coming back. In fact, I started waiting tables at a fancy restaurant two days a week after this job for extra money to try and get myself out of debt!  six months ago, I could NOT have even THOUGHT about doing that. It's hard physical work and I became an absolute marshmallow during treatment.

All in all - it might take longer and be a harder road for the 72 but...for SVR it's worth it.

I wish to God my thyroid would straighten out but it doesn't seem to be coming back. That's my biggest problem - after a lifetime of dieting to be skinny now if I don't eat for a week I don't think I'd lose anything so I have to be VERY careful. I feel like I should have eaten every cheesburger deluxe that I gave up!!!!   ;)

So see...when you consider that that is my biggest problem.........alls well - as long as this test is negative then believe me - it was WORTH IT ALL     :)

[charm27]

I wish you nothing but the best! And you will have it!!

Cham27