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2030686 tn?1351688548

to tell or not to tell

Shoul I tell my mom?  I never thought I would still be asking that question at 30.  I love my mom even though she is emotionally incapable, and I want to be able to talk to her about all this.  Especially since they found a possible link between takayasu's and hcv.  I'm just afraid she can't keep it to herself.  She will absent mindedly post it on facebook or run and tell her friends and not tell them I don't want the world to know.  I want people to be aware of this rising epidemic but I don't wanna deal with all the judgement and everything else that comes with it.  She'll tell my sister in law just because she's always there and they like to gossip and I'm afraid if my hypochondriac/borderline munchausen sister in law finds out I'll never see my niece and nephew again.  On the other hand I feel like it's my responsibility to tell her since I take the kids for weeks at a time.  What do you guys think?  Should I tell my mom?   If I tell her I assume it will get out to everybody eventually.  Probably sooner than later.  So if I tell my mom I might as well tell everybody, right?

How do you all feel about telling others about your hcv?  I feel like I should tell people and encourage them to get tested.  On the other hand I'm afraid some will assume I'm a drug addict.  Especially since I have a skin picking disorder(Trichotillomania).  I feel like it shouldn't be a secret, but I still wanna camp with my daughter's girl scout troop.  Parents may pull their girls out since I'm so active in the troop.  I also want them to be informed in case there's ever an accident, so they don't try to help me if I'm bleeding.How many of you are completely open to others about your hcv and what have some of the repercussions been?
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1765684 tn?1333819168
ninjamonkey - it would seem that your fiance is 'gossipy' too, wouldn't you say?  ;)

Dee1956 - I'm sorry that you're experiencing similar.  I don't expect things to get better with mine anytime soon...  But I guess that's her drama, not mine.  :D
Helpful - 0
317787 tn?1473358451
So sorry to hear about your Mom, mine hasn't spoken to me in 8 months I understand the pain of telling someone who should love you unconditionally and instead all you receive are judgments and criticism I love my children unconditionally
It will get better
Best wishes Dee
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1748829 tn?1338037041
I told my dad my mom is past away so i didn't have that worry but she would.have been okay. But you do have to be careful I wanted to wait and tell people on my terms and i told my fiance right away because we live together and he is the closest person to me and i asked him to not tell people that i wanted to get right in my head with info first and then figure out how to tell me or not to tell people. And he ignores that and told all his friends and family pretty much immediately and i wasn't really gonna tell any of them at all because I'm not that close to.them for one and because they are HIS family and because they are gossipy but now I have to deal with all them knowing. Most of them are more okay then i thought they would be but some are not. So anyway just be careful who you tell and how you handle.it and also remember no matter what sometimes people do.what they want even if you ask them not to.
Helpful - 0
163305 tn?1333668571
How sad.
Being a parent isn't always easy but I always felt our job is to give support to our kids no matter what.
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1765684 tn?1333819168
I'm 47 this year.  I told my mother.

She hasn't spoken to me in almost 10 months.
Helpful - 0
2030686 tn?1351688548
Well I told her.  I made her swear to keep it to herself so we'll see what happens.  I also told her I wasn't originally gonna tell her and why.  She kinda knew something more was going on than what I was telling her.  She's the only person I know with a "medical" brain. Everytime I try to talk to someone else I have to explain all the basics and I don't think they ever really understand what I'm talking about.   Thanks so much for your input guys, it really did help me figure some things out.

OH  I have what I call yellow and red "liver spots" on my chest as well but everybody keeps telling me it's mottling and is normal.  My blood tests all came back normal for the most part.
Helpful - 0
163305 tn?1333668571
I agree entirely.
My cutting edge hepatologist had answered a number of my questions, with a simple, "we don't know."
It makes me respect him all the more.
Helpful - 0
2030686 tn?1351688548
Atleast my dr came right out and admitted she doesn't know much about hep c.  I've had dr's who would rather give me false info than admit ignorance about a subject.  I have alot of respect for this dr simply because of this.  
Helpful - 0
163305 tn?1333668571
Yes of course. I believe it should be a routine test.
A few weeks ago I got so excited to see a big sign announcing, Free Hep C testing." We need more of these.

I went first to a dermatologist to ask about this odd red spot on my upper chest. Every dermatologist I saw said the same two words, "sun damage'.
None mentioned it could be related to my liver, none suggested getting a simple blood panel.
It was a spider angioma from my damaged liver.
If even doctors are ignorant what can be expected from the general populace?
And of course, those of us touched by the virus are the best ones to educate others.
Helpful - 0
2030686 tn?1351688548
I don't want everybody to know however I feel I should be encouraging others to be tested.  Right now they don't take me seriously unless I tell them I got it.  after all aren't we the best advocates for this  rising epidemic.  I wish someone would have told me to get tested sooner.  They need to change testing guidelines as I had to talk my dr into testing.  Isn't our responsibility to educate others?
Helpful - 0
1253246 tn?1332073310
I think you have already made the decision-if your family is open to each others business and you dont want all the negativity-then dont tell.You cant take it back once you do.You are 30 and you can do this.If you need the support  then tell them something else is going on,just dont mention what really is.Its your life and not for gossip for others.Just my .02 worth-good Luck  cindy
Helpful - 0
163305 tn?1333668571
I am completely open but I live in a part of the country where it's easy to be open about all kinds of things.
Very, very few people have asked me how I got it. Instead most have told me stories about someone else they knew that had or has it.

If you are doing interferon treatment, the last thing you want is anything that will add anxiety or another thing to obsess over.
I'm the first one to encourage people to be open, to talk and share, educate others about the truth of hep C.
However when you yourself are going through treatment, it is probably not the best time to be doing this. Maybe afterwords?

Ultimately of course, its up to you.

Helpful - 0
408795 tn?1324935675
Most of my family knows but I have a very quiet family.  If you fear that your Mom is gonna tell everyone haphazardly, then she doesn't need to know.  That's just my opinion though, see what the other's say.  

Having HepC is bad enough without people finding out from a 3rd party.  Mother or not, she doesn't need to know.  jmho
Helpful - 0
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