Feeling really down, more than normal, about herpes

[julio111]

I was diagnosed with gential herpes back in August.  I was not sexually active previous to this, as I have been with one women.  My partner believes that she gave it to me, and did not even realize she had it.  Since the first out break I had a second, and now I believe a third.  This is really getting to me. I feel like my life is over, I don't feel like a good person anymore.  I look at myself before this and I just remember not having this in the back of my mind.  I'm just really down.  I try not to tell my wife how I'm feeling about this, because she feels bad already, and I'm not trying to make her feel bad.  
Sometimes I don't feel like a normal person.  My wife and I want to have a baby, and now I'm so afraid because I don't want to hurt my child, and sometimes I wonder is it even possible for me to have children. I just feel like the only person going through this, and I'm really not happy with myself.  I miss living life without this in the back of my mind.  Along with that my wife is going through things, and questioning our marriage, which makes things worse.  And now if my marriage doesn't work, I walk away hurt, and left with herpes, wondering would anybody love me, and want to be with me, would I be alone for the rest of my life if my marriage fails?.  I just feel disgusting, any advice is appreciated.

[MOM_IN_NY]

I know exactly what you are feeling after 2 years in a relatioship... I too was recently diagnosed in Oct. with... You are definately not alone.

What you are feeling is natural I have gone through the same, but you should read and educate yourself on this. I also found webmd.com "coping with a herpes diagnoses" very helpful. The OB's are your biggest problem right now as is mine. From what I hear once we have those F&*%$#S under control we will be fine.

I have been known to be called OCD because I am always cleaning and am very, very, self concious with my body. So can you imagine what I did when I found out. Spent hundreds on med's and detergents. I have never brought so many disinfecting detergents in my life... and guess what? all that before I read and researched this peskie skin thing.

I found myself broke and with plenty of detergents to clean the house for months. LOL

I am sorry though that you and your partner are having problems, it's hard I know... I ask myself the same thing. Who will have me now??? See me and my partner separated after this diagnosis (due to other problems), but with the help of the people here and the information I have found on the net I am feeling a tad, bit... I am dealing with it.

Keep your head up.

  

[gracefromHHP]

Your genital herpes is not an issue with your wife getting pregnant. You both already have it. The baby is fine until it's time for delivery and her obgyn will take proper precautions.  Even with that the risk of the baby contracting herpes during delivery is very low.

It sounds like your herpes is in control of you right now. You are feeling down in general about a few things and to boot, you are having another ob.  So what can you do? Well why not give suppressive therapy a try for a few months and take the herpes part of it?  Why have more ob's than you have to especially if you know they are just bringing you down right now?  1 or 2 pills a day and your ob's will be minimal.  

Have you and your wife considered talking to a marriage counselor at all? if you are having a rough patch in your marriage it might be the best thing to do. Work on strengthening things before you bring a child into this world.  If nothing else then at least you can both say that you tried your hardest even if things don't work out between the two of you in the long run.

Hang in there - there will be up and down days.  Just don't keep giving herpes all this power in your life. It's a viral skin infection and says nothing else about you other than you have one of the most common infections in the world.  

grace

[qwertty]

im sorry to hear you are going through this, but trust me you're not the only one. i had been researching on webmd.com herpes and found a page called "coping with a herpes diagnoses" which helped me. there are also links from there to find people to talk to on the situation. the line which helped me most was "you're not herpes, you have herpes". there are also millions of people who have herpes and plenty of herpes hotlines if something were to happen between your wife and you.

best of luck