This Is Killing Me!!!

[MikeNH]

Here's my story. Im a 19 year old male who has received unprotected oral sex 3 times about 6 weeks ago. I have had various symptoms, and gotten tested negative for chlamydia and gonnorhia. Seems like every three days I get a new freakin symptom.. Here the are in order:

-Redness/iritation on penis head (comes and goes on a daily basis in shower and such)
-Has never really burned or anything.
-Also the redness doesnt puss or crust over  like I;ve read about herpes....
-Clear discharge (sometimes with little whiteness in it)
-Discharge comes after bowel movements and urination with a little discomfort.
-Lack of apetite (could be my anxiety?)
-Swollen glans around testicles just tonight. Started to feel pain down there and realized that a portion of the little glans between my testicles were swollen and painful to the touch.

I am going to see if i can go to the doctors asap but honestly this sucks and is killing me!!

Also i think its important to point out i have been living on campus for the first time the last 3 weeks. My diet has been different and I have been working out quite a lot. Any one of these symptoms alone wouldnt bother me do to the change in routine, setting, surroundings, etc. I know clear discharge is fairly common.. Redness could be just iritation from working out/walking.. Lack of apetite could just be my crazy worried self...

The one thing that worries me is the sores. I really dont know if they are like how all the websites and books describe them.. They arent really even sores.. just looks like iritated skin...I had one section initially that was just red. Got darker in the shower, never hurt. came and went within a 4 day period without any other signs, no pussing scabbing, itching, burning,, etc..

then the second patch which i have now has just been a deep red for about 3 days.. same thing with that. no open sores or anything...

Sound like herpes to you? Maybe syphilis? I dunno.. My doc said i didnt have the typical signs of herpes, but he hasnt seen the newest redness, and i just got the swollen glans tonight a few hours after working out. Also said that he was very sure I didnt have syphilis, but that was before the discharge, new redness, lack of apetite, and swollen glans..

What would you think? and please answer me as soon as you could.. every second is killing me! he also says that he cant just do a test on me for herpes because i dont have any sores to swab or puss to collect or whatnot... so i just have to put my life on hold here until what? how will i know if i have herpes?

mike

[noclue22226]

good point

[waringblender]

No doctor is ever going to be 100% accurate in real life, and you are talking here about on-line docs giving out opinions, so of course they can't shoot 100% going in. I haven't really read too many threads where a poster got advice over there and then came back and said, "guess what, doc, you were wrong." I'd say that happens fairly infrequently and isn't the norm. The reason they are "siding" with people not having herpes is because the presenting symptoms are not indicative of herpes! Hell, I'm not even a doctor (and don't even play one on T.V.), and if someone came on here and said "I have some itching in my groin, legs, buttocks, and abdomen, anxiety up the wazoo, and I can't sleep at night," I'd probably say I'd  need more evidence than this that herpes is at play. One of those doctors over there has been doing his work for 30 years. That's a significant body of experience. The guy has clearly seen and heard it all, so I have no problems taking (largely) at face value what he says.

My personal feeling is that we live in a very confused society when it comes to sexuality - so people focus inordinately on their genitalia after sexual episodes that may raise all kinds of other emotions and feelings - like fear, guilt, and the like. Doesn't matter if there was a low possibility of infection  - they still focus on it and are convinced they are sick. It's some of the most wussified posturing I've ever seen. The lack of critical thinking skills alone is mind-boggling. People poring over websites several hours a day and continuing to believe they are infected 6 weeks after a low-risk behavior. It would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. And reducing themselves to wimpering blobs of protoplasm. As I said up above, I'd hate to see these guys if some real health emergency, or any other kind of emergency, arose. Goddess forbid.

[slacker101]

That's not true noclue222222222226. the biggest problem here is many who feel they have it leave out important facts about their own diagnosis and it throws the Docs off. Someone who comes on here who says they have a bump on their penis may lead a Doctor to say not to worry about it but the bump really was a blister that scabbed over. The diagnosis are difficult because the information you are getting may NOT be complete. That's why when people say they were diagnosed with Herpes, I always like to ask how were you diagnosed because a lot of people on here are falsely diagnosed so it goes both ways. I highly doubt anyone could argue with Doctor Handsfield. The man lives and breathes herpes and STDs. I once told him that I thought he might have been reincarnated from a herpes virus bugger. He simply here's what people are saying and reacts. Let's not forget also that someone who gets something they think is herpes may get  a blood test and get told they are HSV+ and the whole time they had it in them when they were little kids. Plain and simple, the Docs are not wrong here!!!!

[noclue22226]

My personal opinion for the expert forum is they tend to side on people not having an std such as herpes even if the symptoms might seem like herpes. From what i read the symptoms vary from person to person making it hard to make an accurate diagnosis. I have read some of the forums where the expert said they didnt have it and they ended up having it.....so the expert forum cannont be taken as 100% accurate. I also notice that the experts vary in their information when explaining it from one forum to the next. Thats just my opinion

[waringblender]

I'm fairly certain we'll be seeing "Mike" posting on the doctor side of the forum sometime in the near future. Even responses there don't  seem to satisfy the somatizers, though. "Mike" could probably benefit from a few therapy sessions. 2 hours a day of reading about STDs for the last 2 weeks isn't cursory - that's bordering on obsessive. Clearly, it's taken over his life. What a shame.

The best advice is probably to avoid being sexual until you can rein in your anxieties about your sexuality.

[slacker101]

Everyone relax.... Mike, I know the internet can be a scary place and you pray when you write these letters on here that you will here the magical words, YOU DON'T HAVE AN STD. Well, You don't and nothing you have said describes one. Read the internet and know that it is VERY vague in what they are talking about. If you came on here and said you had oral sex and 3 days later started getting pains and itches and a section of your penis broke out in red and a weird looking lesion formed, I would say you are most likely infected with HSV. Not everyone gets that exact outbreak but there are commonalities such as the time frame (which you are outside of) and what happens (which nothing suggests herpes). As far as syphilis, there are not many cases of it in the US and you haven't decribed anything that suggests that disease either which has its own commonalities. More so than HSV. Don't be scare but be concerned. I think the one thing all of us tries to do here is be confident in our answers and I am confident you are clean and your life has just improved that much more due to the fact you got an educational experience out of this whole mess. Unfortunaltely, it is short lived. You will be back to the way you were before getting BJ's and having sex once this blows over and that myfriend is what being human is all about :)

[waringblender]

Look, "Mike," if the person(s) you were with who blew you didn't have cold sores, and you have no symptoms on your penis, you are fine. If you develop sores, see a doctor. After a couple of months, get tested. It's really not more difficult than that. But since this is "killing you," talk to your doctor about Xanax or some other anti-anxiety medication. Because you have anxiety in spades.

Oral sex is not an easy way to get an STD.  Yet, you are 6 weeks out from this episode and are still freaking out. Why? I ask this all the time around here, but what psychological payback is there for you to stay genitally focused  on believing you acquired an STD?  Is your life so stressful at the moment that you have somehow psychologically "retreated" into this tailspin? It is easier to wig out on STDs than deal with other issues in your life? I mean, really. Start examining why you are freaking out in the absence of symptoms. Or major in psychology (with a minor in communicable diseases). If you have other issues in your life you can't face, why not deal with those? Wouldn't that be easier than complete and total focus on your genitalia six weeks out from a couple of BJs?

It's "you're," not "your." Take any English courses lately?

[MikeNH]

oh yeah and I have spent probably 2 hours every day for the last 2 weeks doing some 'cursory reading'.... so much info on the net varies, and so much dealing with health, symptoms, etc varies as well.. Its not like you get herpes and all of a sudden the word 'herpes' appears on your forehead.. There are so many variables.. Give me a break...

[MikeNH]

"What do I think? I think you need to read up on how herpes and syphilis are transmitted. "

So your saying that there is absolutely no chance that getting oral sex from 3 different people without a condom would transmit any STD? Apparently you need to do some reading as well..

[MikeNH]

Hey buddy all the info on this site is great and respect the opinions of everyone here.. I just dont really see the need for you to come and say this stuff its really just pointless.. What I read on websites is that they list symptoms and tell all about the bad stuff, yet they also go and say well some people never know they have it, the first outbreak is always the worst, yet symptoms vary and may be barely noticable.. So that basically leaves it open to be none, some, or all of the symptoms.. Yeah I'm freaking out because this is my life and its kind of serious.. I dont really see how this isnt an important thing to discuss? You dont know me or my life or what I've been doing for the last few weeks, so commenting such as you did was a waste of everyone's time here. I came here for some different opinions, that were more specificly directly towards my situation. Is that so wrong? Call me laughable or call my post sad all you want.. Why are you even posting here if thats all the input you have to give?

[waringblender]

It could be that "Mike" had the cr*p scared out of him at another site, but he managed to make it to *this* site. It's really difficult to miss the "expert" forums once you get to the home page of this site, and if he had read the C.V. of the 2 docs answering the questions, he could have put 2 and 2 together and figured out that these were experts in their specialties. One look at the photos of the 2 docs indicates that they are at least middle-aged, meaning they've been practicing in their specialties probably for years (years = experience). And I'm not letting "Mike" off the hook on that one. Yeah, there's some scary stuff out there. But "Mike" tells us he's in "college." How about using those critical thinking skills that are required at university level? (Or are they not required any more these days at university level because we are so dumbed-down?) I see what slacker and the other person (??name) are saying about being "supportive," but titles like "This is killing me!!" coming from a college student? That's laughable. It's also kind of sad.

[slacker101]

I tend to be bold on what I say because really the internet will scare the hell out of you if you read it. The internet says genital itching is a sign of herpes. Hell, I get itches all the time but what they fail to tell you is localized itching at the site where the breakout will occur is the itching they mean but very few places say that. They generalize and leave it for people like Mike to get scared. I am sure he did his homework and read the internet before posting a question and that is why he is scared and worried. If you look at the symptoms of most deadly diseases, I would bet each of us has at least 4 or 5 symptoms of these and we don't get scared by it but that's because our focus isn't on the symptoms but something psychological takes over when it comes to our genitals. When a pimple shows up, guys and girls think it's GOT TO BE an STD. Silly people :)

[waringblender]

You know, I can see how you think I'm harsh. But here's the deal: There is an enormous amount of information on this website alone giving out accurate information about the risks of transmission of herpes. If you spend even 10-15 minutes combing through the doctor's side of this forum, anybody with half a brain would realize that oral sex is really low risk for all STDs, not just herpes. And there are dozens of posts over there describing the exact same nonspecific generalized symptoms that this kid has.

It doesn't take a huge amount of reading to come armed with some basic information before asking a question. Slacker's right - nothing this kid has described points to herpes, and if he had done even some cursory reading, he would have realized that. Instead, he comes here in a complete flail and on the verge of an anxiety attack.

I'm also not here to hold anybody's hand. That's what therapists are for. Hell, if the kid's a college student, he probably has access to free therapy through his campus medical plan.

[A_Tony]

Hey man... you're pretty harsh and aggressive with almost every post or reply I see from you. I understand we all have different personalities, but remember, most of the people that are on these boards are here because they are scared and freaked out. They are not experts, or even always aware of what they may be dealing with. Many people are afraid to go and speak with someone until they have some more info, which they are hoping to get from understanding supportive people.

This is pretty traumatic stuff for most of us. If you can, try to remember what is was like when you first were worried.

I'm not knocking your experience or knowledge in this area. Just asking that you try to be a little nicer.

Thanks.

[waringblender]

What do I think? I think you need to read up on how herpes and syphilis are transmitted. You are clearly not very educated about it. If you have any extra elective courses in "college," sign up for a class in communicable diseases. It should be very interesting, and you'll get college credit for learning about herpes and syphilis!

You should also refrain from sexual activity (with other people) if you are going to get this freaked out about something as benign as oral sex.

I've never seen so many freaked out guys as I have on this forum. Is it mostly men who have emotional meltdowns about this stuff? It seems to be mostly men. Jesus, I can just imagine how you guys would be in a real emergency.

[A_Tony]

Well the only way to know for sure is to have a swab done within 48 hours of onset of the sore, or wait a few months from the first time you have the first symptom and request an IgG speific typing blood test. If you want to be sure the blood test about three months from your first symptom is the only sure way to know.

I had an occassion small red irritated patch on the side of my penis that would come and go about every 8 months for a week or so and tghought nothing of it. After year I finally went to an urgent care and toild the doc I wanted an IgG bloodtest for herpres, make sure it's an IgG or it may not be as accurate and specific as to the type.

An IgG will read accurate results after 90 days from exposure. Takes that long for the antibodies to build up in the blood.

[slacker101]

Mike, I think you are driving yourself crazy!!! NOTHING you have described suggests herpes AT ALL!!!! It's not herpes. Let's look at each symptom. You say you get redness and irritation that comes and goes on a daily bases. Herpes doesn't take a lunch break. It is either there or not but doesn't come and go as you think!! So no way in hell that symptoms is herpes. Next, clear discharge. This is normal prostatic fluid and I will tell you that making yourself sick over herpes will give you some prostate problems so stop worrying so much Mike. There is ONE single symptom that you have nailed on the head and that is the lack of appetite because of anxiety!! You're a young guy who is dealing with a lot here but trust me, NOTHING AT ALL suggests herpes!!! Grace will tell you that and the Doctors will tell you that on the other board. You're being ridiculous. You're clean guy!!!!!!!!!