Oral HSV 1 or 2 - Terry Warren Please Help!!

[harj26]

Hi Terry

I have a question that I desperately need an answer for.  I have also posed a similar question in the community forums but would like some more insight from you if possible please.

Last week Friday I met a man, the only sexual contact that we had: I licked and sucked on his scrotum for approximately 2-3 minutes.  I did not notice any obvious sores or blisters on his scrotum (it was broad daylight so I got a decent look).  I did NOT move onto his penis at all, eventhough it looked clear of any obvious sores as well.  
Two days after this event, while brushing my teeth, I noticed that I had a cluster of red spots at the top of my mouth (on the hard palate I believe).  These red spots do not hurt.  Now on day 5 with these red spots, I have not noticed any ulcers forming within the red spots either.  They look very very similar to what I 'think' broken blood vessels underneath the skin might look like.  If this is broken blood vessels, when should I expect them to disappear?

I am incredibly nervous about this encounter and about this 'rash' in my mouth.  Could this be a primary infection rash?  Would there be anything else associated with this rash if it were primary infection?  Could this be simply broken blood vessels from sucking and also from a coughing fit that I had the day after this sexual encounter??
I am desperate for advice - I have two infant children at home and am incredibly SCARED of passing Herpes onto my children as I have heard that this can be incredibly detrimental to their health at such a young age.    

Is it common for people to acquire oral herpes in this manner, by sucking on a scrotum??
Please, Please help.  Your expert advice is greatly appreciated.
Thank you,

Harj

[harj26]

A related discussion, Terri was started.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

By 6 weeks, its about 70%, so higher than that by a bit

Terri

[ricki1234567]

Hi Terri
Thank you! This has been quite the experience for me.  I do feel better about it all now.  I will let you know how it all goes.  I plan to test at the 8 week mark which will be next week, I will let you know how it goes.  Would you happen to know the percentage that test positive at 8 weeks?
Thanks
Harj

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

For greatest reassurance, you should wait 4 months from exposure to testing.  However, if you are negative at 6 weeks, then that's very good.  By 6 weeks from infection, 70% of those who are going to make antibody will have done so.  Let me know how it goes, OK?

Terri

[harj26]

Terry
I just wanted to write to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for all of your help and support!!  You have been more then wonderful in helping to ease my concerns!!
I am feeling a little better!!  I have decided that I will test for my own sanity!!  Deep inside I do believe that I am not infected, but I need to see it on paper for myself.
This is my last and final question now - how long should I wait to test in order to get an accurate result?  As of tomorrow this encounter would have taken place 4 weeks ago!
Thank you again Terry - you have no idea how much you helped me through this.  
Harj

[harj26]

Terry,
Is this red spot on my nose and the pain associated with it considered prodome?  How long after the red spot and the pain before the blisters erupt??  I can't even sleep any longer.  I know that if my babies become exposed to herpes could it be very dangerous for them.
HELP

[harj26]

Terry
Just today a HUGE, painful red spot has formed on my right nostril - it hurts and is very red... Could this be the beginning of a coldsore?  Is it common to get coldsores on this location??
I just want this all to stop, I am so scared I want to throw up...
I need your help Terry - please
Please help
Harj

[harj26]

Dear Nurse Warren,

Thank you for your response!  I must say,  you are a saint and are my only source of  what little sanity I have left at the moment!

So you think that it could have been nothing more then popped blood vessels on the roof of my mouth??  (this question I think is what I need the answer to most - I need to make sense of the rash that appeared and then disappeared following the encounter I had)!

You are right, I am incredibly distraught - and feel like I am beginning to lose it altogether... I think I will seek out treatment - as I feel like I can't even get myself out of bed some days anymore!  Is this what it feels like to be depressed - scared and alone!!

You've recommended HSV 1 testing as a way to reassure me, and I will do that - but do you honestly, truthfully believe that I do not need to be tested as a result of this encounter?  Would a test at 4 weeks be a good indicator??

Finally, is it possible to that the tingly, stingy feeling in the corners of my lip is simply cracked lips as a result of constantly licking the corners of my lips - can saliva do that??

Nurse Warren, I am sorry for sounding so irrational.  I am an educated, hardworking guy who loves his family but now feels seriously estranged from them all - I HATE MYSELF!!

Please just answer these last questions that I've posed and I will try my best to stop asking questions and simply get tested and hopefully move on.
Sincerely,
Harj

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

If you look into the corners of most people' mouths, they have very small bump in the corners. These are completely normal.  You could certainly get blood vessels popping from sucking on the skin.  

You do need serious help, but in the counseling area, not the medical area.
I would suggest herpes testing for you as a way to reassure you, but you may well have been infected with HSV 1 for years and didn't know it, and I'm afraid if it is positive, that will really freak you out. What do you think?

Terri

[harj26]

Nurse Warren
I have checked and re-checked and am really not sure if the rash is greyish or not - I am also not sure if it was there before, but I know for a fact that this tingly feeling is new - please help.
Also, please let me know if the blood vessells popping from sucking is possible... I need serious help!!
I am growing more and more terrified and feel very isolated and alone!!
Harj

[harj26]

One more thing Terry,
The rash in the corners of my lips appears a little greyish in colour and it tingles - I am SCARED out of my mind and HATE MYSELF!!  God, why did I do this to myself and my family!!  I am going insane!!
Please help!!

[harj26]

Hi Nurse Warren,

I'm back and still worried.  I've decided I will go ahead and test for herpes.  And possibly even try and seek out some counselling.  I'm most concerned as already mentioned about my babies!

As of yesterday (17days from the encounter) I've noticed some slight pain in both corners of my lips.  When looking closely, there is no obvious redness, but it does look like a slightly raised rash in both corners of my mouth around the corners of my lips.  You can only see this when I open my mouth wide and look at the two corners.  I am terrified that both corners are now going to erupt into coldsores!!  I am trying my best to see past this and not think about it.  I am hoping that this is nothing more then dry skin that is a little aggravated.

I am also still worried about what that initial rash in my mouth was - Nurse Warren, could it have been broken blood vessels from the sucking action??  Is that at all possible?  Have you ever heard of that happening?

Any further support you can offer me would be great - I continue to live in constant FEAR and frustration - and I am beginning to truly HATE MYSELF more and more each day!!
  
Thank you,
Harj

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

The redness on your son's chin likely has nothing to do with herpes, I hope it resolves on its own soon.

Terri

[harj26]

Dan,
Sorry about the last message, I read through it again and it sounds really awkward - I was writing it in a bit of a hurry!
Anyhow, I just wanted to say thanks for all your support, and if you're interested in staying in contact (I know I would appreciate that) at least until I am able to successfully move past this awful experience.
Thanks again for the info on the two websites, they're great!!
So you really don't think the red spots on the roof of my mouth were in anyway connected to herpes??  
Thanks again Dan - you have REALLY helped me out.  Its still too funny to me that we both found this forum at the same time, dealing with the same issue - good to know you're never alone :-)
Thanks again buddy
Harj

[harj26]

Hi Dan

Thank you so much for the information you've provided to me.  You are awesome - very kind and sincere with your answers.  Thank you most for taking the time to answer my questions and try relieve my concerns.

I was feeling much better, until I saw the redness on my son's chin, which immediately made me think of herpes!!  However, you are right and I must face the fact that it must be something else.  I will continue to keep an eye on the redness.

I just read through the two sites that you sent me - thank you by the way.  It does sound very promising and sounds as though our risk was very low and that infection through this route is remote!!  I must say thank you again Dan for being here for me during this time.  U should like a great guy, probably someone I could be friends with - don't worry, I'm not trying to make you do something you wouldn't want too :-)  We both know how extremely stressful man to man experiences can be on married men!!  I will never do that again!!  God, I hope I can live by that!!

So you really don't believe that the red spots on the roof of my mouth were anything related to a primary herpes outbreak???

If you are interested in keeping in touch that would be awesome - let me know.

Thanks buddy,
Harj

[dan450]

Hi,
I am doing well and feel 99% better and have not had a panic attack since the last response. I know how you feel about your sons chin. There are too many things it could be that are not herpes. Drool, food allergy rash and trauma from banging it just to name a few. I have a daughter who has been complaining of a sore throat the last few days. Of course I was worried too but I rationalized that she has had may sore throats before I did this and she will have many  more in the future. I did not put my mouth on her when I kissed her nor did we share utensils or cups, so it can't be just by logic. Plus the fact that I beleive now that I dont have herpes.

I think you are NOT infected with herpes. Your red spots had no characteristics of herpes and have since disappeared. No prodome, no blisters, no lesions, no fluid popping and no scabs and no pain, and not the site of preference which is outside the mouth like on the lips. Not Herpes.

The following websites, along with this website gave me great comfort and was the reason I was able to make it through. What we did is the lowest risk of catching herpes. It was also the scrotum, not the penis, so the liklihood is lower still because most genital herpes will appear on the shaft of the penis, not the scrotum. I know this because I have researched so extensively through credible website like this one and have learned a great deal. Check this site out. It will reinforce what Grace and Terry have told us.

http://www.herpes.com/hsv1-2.html

http://www.herpesonline.org/hsv1vs2.html

Best, Dan

[harj26]

Hi Dan
I just wanted to know how you were doing???  Hopefully feeling better!!
I wanted to ask you a question as well.  You mentioned in a previous message to me that you found a reputable website that cited that 97% of genital herpes is in the genital area - would you be able to forward me a link to that site - I think the reading will help alleviate my concerns as well.
The rash inside my mouth along the roof is gone - which makes me wonder - what was it??  It coincided perfectly with this encounter that I had... strange!!  I hope its nothing more then coincidental!!  Of course, now I've noticed some pretty intense redness on my son's chin which has me worried!!
If you could provide me with that link it would be great!!
Hope you are doing well buddy.
Hope to chat with you soon.
Harj

[harj26]

Hi Terri
Thanks again for your feedback!!
The rash alongside the top of my mouth has now disappeared!! Whew!! Of course that leaves me wondering and thinking if this could have been my primary infection?!?!  But at the same time I am trying desperately to convince myself that it was an irrelevant coincidence and to stop thinking about it altogether!!  I am thinking perhaps it could have actually been some ruptured blood vessels along the top of my mouth from the sucking??
The only thing that has me concerned now is the fact that I have noticed redness on my little baby's chin, the redness looks very distinct and intense.  I am scared that this could be a herpes related rash forming - I know, I am going a little crazy.
Terri, you had mentioned in one of your previous messages, that if this had been a herpetic rash it would present differently then the rash I saw in my mouth - how exactly would it be different?
Thanks for all of your support you are awesome for doing what you do here.
Thanks
Harj

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

Harj, as I've said I don't think the risk from this experience i anything to continue to worry about from a physical point of view.  You participated in a sexual experience that you clearly regret and the guilt and fear from that experience is making the risk seem bigger than it is.  

HSV 2, as Dan says, rarely infects the mouth and scrotum kin doesn't shed like penile skin does.  

I hope you both will try very hard to move past these experiences.  It may also be worthwhile examining your desire or curiosity to participate in something that may or may not be at odds with your sexual interests.  I've found, after 30 years in this business, that trying to push these desires under the carpet doesn't work too well in the long run.  Examining them in the clear light of day and honesty may work better.

Terri

[dan450]

I know how you feel. I have 2 kids and I am afaid to hug and kiss them. I let them kiss me on the cheek and I turn my head away so my mouth doesn't touch them. I feel like a vile human being at the moment.

In my heart of hearts, I don't think I have herpes. It's just these things that I notice now because I am constantly looking for things in and around my mouth. If you look for things, you will probably find them. This pimple I had, that is basically gone now could have been there anyway and have nothing to do with what I did. It looks like there is a hair in there like a follicle from shaving.

I feel that you don't have herpes either because what you did was the same as me. Herpes really doesn't infect the mouth when it comes from the genital area. I found a credible website for herpes that said 97% of genital herpes is in the genital area and it is rare for it to infect the mouth. Your symptoms, like mine, really don't seem like herpes. It usually affects the outside of the mouth, not inside with a painful sore or lesion. We need to accept that.

I have a couple of questions I am waiting for responses too as well. Once I hear back, I should be able to move on. I hope you do too. I am here for you if you need reassurance. We will get through this together.

[harj26]

Hi Dan
Thanks for your message buddy - I hope this comes out sounding right, but its great knowing that I am not the only person going through the exact same situation!!  I'm sorry that you care dealing with this as well, but I am trying to remain optimistic.  I've posted a few questions to Nurse Warren, and I think once I have some more answers and clarification I will feel better and more relaxed about this incident.  Right now, I am staying clear of my babies, which is awful (I feel miserable about this) but I am terrified of infecting them.  I think once I hear back from Nurse Warren I will be able to begin putting this behind me.
How are you doing????

[dan450]

Hi Buddy,

Just checking in with you to see how you are faring through this. I have begun the process of relaxing because I am fairly certain now that I didn't get herpes from this.

I just have a wierd blood blister on the inside of my cheek now which doesnt hurt at all. Just a wierd coincidence I am sure. I posted a question for the nurse to be sure. I hope you are doing well and get back to living again. I am 90% of the way back to normal now. Best wishes!

[harj26]

Hi Terry,
One last thing, I wanted to answer the questions that you had posed in your response.  
I have never been tested for herpes; however, I have also never had a cold sore in my life, so I'm assuming I don't have oral herpes (hopefully).
Thank you again for your response and helping to ease my anxiety.  I look forward to your reply to my last and final thread of questions posted above.
Thank you Terry.
Harj

[harj26]

Hi Dan,
Thanks for your reply to my posting, I really appreciate the support.  This incident has had me incredibly stressed out and feeling a sense of guilt and just awful overall!!  I know that I have indeed learned a great deal from this experience, that it is wrong and definitely not worth the stress that follows.  Are you planning on getting yourself tested? I must say, I do feel much MUCH better after getting a response back from Terry.  It sounds like she really does have a wealth of knowledge and experience pertaining to this topic, so I think we are both very lucky to have received a favourable response from someone so knowledgeable.  I have posted a few more questions for Terry which I hope will help bring me a further sense of relief and calm to help me move forward with my life.  Just like you Dan, my greatest fear was harming my babies and wife.  I've been looking at my babies thinking that if I kissed them I could make them incredibly sick - that is an awful feeling.
If you would like to chat further for support let me know.
Thanks
Harj