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Who gave who HSV1?
So I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 a few months ago. I have been with the same person for 10 years. I have had "cold sores" on and off (lip) for years and have always been very careful when I have and outbreak not to spread this.
I'm trying to figure out if I self infected myself by giving BF oral sex and then having vaginal sex directly after that or if BF actually has HSV1 and infected me. I had a culture done on vaginal sores and it was positve for HSV1 but have not had any blood test done. The BF doesn't want any kind of sex now even with condoms. He said they are not 100% protective against this. I asked him to get tested but he hasn't done this yet. If he carries the HSV1 virus but has never had an outbreak, could we have a normal sex life without protectiion? If he is negative for this, what are our options to protect him from getting this?
I'm trying to figure out if I self infected myself by giving BF oral sex and then having vaginal sex directly after that or if BF actually has HSV1 and infected me. I had a culture done on vaginal sores and it was positve for HSV1 but have not had any blood test done. The BF doesn't want any kind of sex now even with condoms. He said they are not 100% protective against this. I asked him to get tested but he hasn't done this yet. If he carries the HSV1 virus but has never had an outbreak, could we have a normal sex life without protectiion? If he is negative for this, what are our options to protect him from getting this?
UPDATE... BF was tested and has HSV1 antibodies.... so as long as we stay together nothing needs to change as far as sex is concerned, correct? He is very concerned that he is going to have an outbreak but I'm thinking if he hasn't had an outbreak up to this point he probably won't. Would that be correct to think?
You all have been very helpful. Thank you for spending your valuable time helping people. It's difficult enough to have HSV but, HSV and no answers is worse. I am so happy that I found this site.
This isn't a relationships forum, but this makes me wonder if your partner is looking for an excuse to leave. Most people wouldn't bail on a ten year relationship solely because of herpes in the partner, either HSV1 or 2. That would be a shallow, inappropriate response.
I'm guessing his HSV1 test will be positive, but if not, it won't necessarily mean he doesn't have it. Around 10% of people with HSV1 don't have measurable antibodies detected by the blood test.
And BTW, I agree with MrBrock that you could have a new genital HSV1 infection. People with prior HSV infections are highly resistant but not necessarily completely immune to new infections with the same type. It's uncommon but it probably happens.
I'm guessing his HSV1 test will be positive, but if not, it won't necessarily mean he doesn't have it. Around 10% of people with HSV1 don't have measurable antibodies detected by the blood test.
And BTW, I agree with MrBrock that you could have a new genital HSV1 infection. People with prior HSV infections are highly resistant but not necessarily completely immune to new infections with the same type. It's uncommon but it probably happens.
Mr Brock, I never had cold sores as a child. I started getting them in college... surprise! I would even bet I know who it came from. I don't recall all of the specifics with this encounter but it would make sense now that I got both at the same time. I guess in the back of my mind, I'm really wondering if the person I'm with now, gave this to me.... It seems unlikely after HowardH explained it. He has "been around" way more than I have and probably should have been tested BEFORE we had sex. They say hind sight is 20/20! He has agreed to be tested, but he's convinced he's negative. Is it wrong for me to wish the test to be positive?? (Evil, I know). He says if it comes back negative, he's out of here. Maybe I should just let him go... a whole other subject matter, I know. Sorry for all of the emotions... just trying to get some insight as to how men think.
Bblue51--- I was curious as to whether you remember if you got cold sores as a child, before you became sexually active? I didn't say that catching HSV1 orally and genitally is rare...if you are an adult, catching both during a sexual encounter makes sense...However....if you had cold sores as a child...before you started having oral or normal sex, and then just got HSV1 genital symptoms now, I would highly question whether you actually had genital HSV1 before becoming sexually active....
I do realize the experts on this forum state you are immune to further HSV-1 infections after already developing antibodies for your initial infection (after around a few months they say)...HOWEVER, I am troubled that you are not the first post I have read that has stated this situation...namely new positive Genital HSV1 test results... while having a prior history of oral HSV-1...it would definitely suggest the possibility of a new infection down there....
I do realize the experts on this forum state you are immune to further HSV-1 infections after already developing antibodies for your initial infection (after around a few months they say)...HOWEVER, I am troubled that you are not the first post I have read that has stated this situation...namely new positive Genital HSV1 test results... while having a prior history of oral HSV-1...it would definitely suggest the possibility of a new infection down there....
Thank you all for your straight forward responses. He has agreed to get tested and said if it's negative... he's out of here..... WOW that stung a bit! Only time will tell at this point. It really saddens me that these questions weren't answered by my OB/GYN. Reliable information is so difficult to come by. Thanks again..
Did you get cold sores on your lips before you had ever had genital contact? If so....it makes more sense that your genital HSV-1 came after and was not contracted concurrently. The experts here state that it is nearly impossible to auto-infect and same goes for catching HSV-1 genitally when you have it orally...However, you are not the first post I have read that claims this has happened....makes me wonder.
Wow... 30 years of getting cold sores, dating, being married for 15 years, a 5 year and a 10 year relationship and it's just now showing up. No partner has ever had an outbreak, either. This is a crazy. How can I start over because it looks like this is going to end the current relationship....more of a vent than a question.. sorry
The mouth sores are most definitely cold sores ( I am a dental hygienist and am very familiar with the difference). So basically what you are saying is that I have had genital HSV1 since the time I started with cold sore breakouts on my lips? I have never had an outbreak genitally before the one in May 2014. So can I assume that the BF would have HSV1 now after 10 years of unprotected sex? If so, our sex life doesn't really need to change?
Hi, first of all those that contract the same hsv in different ganglions got it at the same time. For a person to have hsv1 oral and get hsv1 genital, the risk is close to zero, if possible at all. You would be basicly immune to it. So the mouth sores youve had may not be hsv1 but just canker sores. The same with your b/f. If he has hsv1 oral, he would not get it genital.
If he does not have hsv1 and you do not have any genital sores at the time, unprotected sex risk would be very low as shedding of genital hsv1 only occurs 3-5% of the time. HSV2 genital is the more risky one.
If he does not have hsv1 and you do not have any genital sores at the time, unprotected sex risk would be very low as shedding of genital hsv1 only occurs 3-5% of the time. HSV2 genital is the more risky one.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
In fact, it isn't crazy at all. It's very typical. It shows how infrequently HSV is transmitted from people with HSV1, either oral or genital, and also that many infected people don't develop symptoms.
I agree with most of the responses above from MrBrook and Life360. I'll add that your BF is seriously overreacting. It's possible he already has HSV1 and you should insist he get tested. If positive it won't necessarily mean he caught it from you, and most important will mean he can't catch it again. But even if he is negative and susceptible, there is no cause to stop having sex with you and certainly not to end the relationship over this.
But one correction to MrBrook's coment above: catching genital and oral herpes simultaneously isn't all that rare, especially for HSV1. However, it is correct that prior infection protects against new infection with the same virus type, so it is unlikely you acquired your genital infection at some later time than your oral herpes.