7 year old child

I have a 7 year old son that is having behavior problems everyday.  My husband and I have done everything imaginable and nothing works.  We have tried grounding, spanking, etc. and we are at our wits end.  He trys to be a class clown at school, lacks respect, and expects the teacher to give him un-divided attention regardless if it is bad or good.  His reading and math scores are severly under the school requirements, but everytime I try to get him to sit down and read a book it is a fight, tantrum, etc.  He cannot explain to me why he is acting the way he does and I feel like I do not know how to help him.  Any suggestions????

[tiredbuthappy]

There are way too many possible reasons for this behavior and it would be a bit difficult for us to steer you in a right direction. I think it may be time to talk to his doctor about it, or the school. Schedule a meeting with the teacher, and if the school has one, then the school social worker or parent involvement specialist. She is there to help with matters like this and can have the hour-long conversation it may take to start unraveling some of the possible causes.
A little more info and we can try though...
Is he an only child? Any problems in the family? (kids can sense it no matter how hard you try to hide it). Has he always been this way? Does he have anything that seems to set him off? Does he have any quirks like won't wear socks, hates certain sounds, etc...? How does he play with others outside of school? Does he appear to have difficulties retaining info or is it just a matter of getting him to sit? Have you had his eyes and hear checked? Does he have consistent discipline coming from both parents? Does he get to bed on time? Does he show any signs of anxiety? Is he insecure? Does he ever hurt others? How does he respond to positive attention?
the list of questions goes on and on... as you can see... and illustrates how hard it can be to determine what is going on- if it is something medical, something environmental, etc... It's great that you are looking for help and I hope you find it soon.

[peekawho]

Definately he needs  professional evaluation, medical, educational, and behavioral.

Do it soon, before undesirable behaviors become more and more ingrained.  Good luck.

[melimeli]

look into ADHD and food allergies.. be consistant, work with the school and the school behavior team

[karen0923]

i have an 8 yr old with mild aspergers he is the same way i suggest IBI intensive behavural intervention its a great program

[sue_perfluous]

apart from "learning difficulties" (and there's a book to be written about that), the other things you might want to look into are:

a) effects of medication - apparently anything with polyethelene glycol can trigger behavioral/psychological problems in some children, if used often; and

b) at the risk of sounding like my mother, how are his bowels?  (therre's a probable link between intestinal toxins and autism amongst other things)

[spiritwolf31]

My son is 5 almost 6 and we were having similar problems and all before he started school. We were worried there would be lots of problems once starting school especially since he has tendancy of picking up items (regardless of what it is) and hitting or jabbing the person who irritates him even if the only thing the person does is win a game or talk to someone else when he tries to get their attention. We got him evaluated and found he has ADHD and also has an aggression disorder due to the ADHD which is a common way for children to act out what they cant say or express. We put him on medication after long and lengthy debate and it is great. He is on the lowest dosage which is just fine with us since it leaves him with much of his personality while calming him down enough that it works for everyone. At school he is an angel and listens very good. Though this was our solution it may be something different for you. I would have his doctor look at him and evaluate him so that you know for certain diagnoses and treatments that work for him and you!