Another co-sleeping question

[April1113]

Okay, my son Jason is now 16 months old.  He still sleeps in the bed with me and my husband and I have to lay down on the sofa with him every night til he goes to sleep.  My child is unable to go to sleep by himself unless we are in the car.  I really need to break this now.  He has got to learn how to fall asleep on his own and sleep by himself.  None of us sleep good anymore and it is taking him forever to fall asleep at night.  I tried the ferber method before, which I think would work if I didnt give in and feel bad for him.  My problem now is he can climb out of his crib so it does no good, I am afraid he will just end up hurting himself.  Same with his pack and play he can climb out of that.  He has a toddler bed in his room now, but lets face it, if he is willing to climb out of the crib, he will not stay in that.  I really need a solution to this.  Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can try?  I dont have a problem with co-sleeping as long as it doesnt cause problems, but now, everyone is suffering because of it, including him.

[alikat1205]

I really don't have a solution :(.  I layed down with my daughters until they fell asleep until they were 5.  Then we set up a prize box, if they layed down alone and fell asleep alone, they got a prize in the morning.  That worked, but not until 5.  It was a pain in the butt to have to lay down each night, since sometimes I fell asleep, but that's what I did.  Good luck.

[pertykitty]

at one point i struggled too wanting that independence from helping my baby fall asleep.  then i thought, she is just a baby once and its not lasting very long!! so now i have chose to continue to co sleep and let he fall asleep nursing if that is what she wants.  she is going to be 18 months in a few days.  we did get a toddler bed and put it in our room.  she naps there and actually starts out at night in her own bed.  she would scream if i tried her crib but loves her big girl bed.  she crawls in and smiles and says "night night" lol.  

you have to do what works for you and your family.  i tied the cio method, going in and trying to comfort her after xxx min of screaming and crying.  well for us i felt a week after she was traumatized.  she wouldnt get out of my arms and was clingy and very scared of falling asleep.  good luck

[April1113]

Your lucky she will atleast take naps in her bed.  I spent a rediculous amount of money on a bed because it was a big fire truck and I thought that would help him if it was something he really liked.  He wont even think about getting in it unless it is to play.  He will not fall asleep anywhere other than in my arms not even at nap time.  It is getting stressfull for me and my dh.  It wouldnt be bad if he were actually sleeping well, but he isnt.

[megmil]

My first son is not my husbands when I first met him Aries would sleep with us or pass out on the couch because I was alone and liked to cuddle with my baby. It got to a point where he wouldn't sleep on his own. After about a week of him sleeping in bed with my husband and I after we moved in together he said that was enough and was tough with me and told me to make him sleep in his bed. If he cried or got up my husband would make me lay him back down and tell him to be quiet. We went through hell for about two months with this until finally he slept on his own. You need someone who will help you be strong about it. If it weren't for my husband my son would probably still sleep with us. Get your husband to help you be strong. Also at 15 months he might be ready for a todler bed. Get him one that he will enjoy sleeping in. My son has a lightning mcqueen bed and the cars seem to keep him company. Give him a stuffed animal to sleep with too. My son loves to sleep with a stuffed animal. It makes him feel secure.

[April1113]

Only problem with that is my husband is normally ready to give in before I am. And his toddler bed is a big ol' fire truck with a light on it and everything, but he doesnt want to be without momma.  I have even tried laying in his bed with him and it doesnt work.

[pertykitty]

that was a rough time to change his schedule.  he was getting used to a new person in moms life, but im glad it worked out for you all.

what is it that bothers you the most?   how is it a problem?  i guess you have to find out why its such a big deal.  i too thought "this kid HAS to sleep along and do it without my help" , but the more i thought about it i felt why?  i love nursing her to sleep (yep still breastfeeding) and in such a short time ill be hearing "get out of my room!!!!".  

addison wont go to sleep in her bed, i get her asleep then lay her down.  i know that not all parents are comfortable with co sleeping and beyond the first year, but i guess you have to figure out why its such a bother to you.  with us i plan on seeing how addy does with night nursing.  when that slows down then maybe we will move her bed into her room.  its not a concern at this point, we still get cuddle time and have our grown up moments (wink wink) so there has been no compromising.  of course saying all this i have to admit it wasnt how i always felt.

[GRose]

I used super nanny's method of getting toddlers to stay in bed and worked like a charm, only took about a week for Noah to get it, although, he is a little older so that might make a difference. I still struggle with nap time but he does eventually take a nap in his bed after about 30 minutes of using super nanny's techniques.
Good luck.

http://www.  supernanny  .co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/  Routine-and-Teamwork/  Getting-Toddlers-to-Stay-in-  Bed.aspx

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[April1113]

Well for 1 it is hard for us to have our "grown up moments" which puts stress on our marriage, 2 he has fallen  out of my bed twice (my bed is high of the floor and he crawls in his sleep), 3 he doesnt like to be touching other people in his sleep and my bed isnt big enough to accomodate that.  He tosses and turns terribly in our bed, when I get him to sleep and put him in his play pin he sleeps much more peacefully and sound (until he wakes up and realizes he isnt with me).  He also kicks, smacks, scratches and pulls my hair in his sleep.  I am not getting any sleep and daddy isnt getting that much either.  I just feel that we would all be more rested if he slept on his own.

[April1113]

Not to mention, I have to lay down with him so early and end up laying there for hours until he goes to sleep, which in ways I dont mind because that is our time together but I dont get to do anything around my house during the week.

[melimeli]

uffff

[GRose]

I second that "ufff"

[GRose]

Oh by the way, if you do use the tips I gave you, it may take longer as I was just switching my son from crib to bed so it is a little different.

[pertykitty]

well yes i can see that as a rough time.  you must look like youve been through war by morning lol.  good luck

[April1113]

I am suprised I dont have black eyes every morning.  I have been head butted in the nose so hard I thought he broke it.

[babyscience]

I have never made a habit out of co-sleeping but one time ds was sick (12mo) and would only sleep with us.  After a week of this, I tried to put him in his own crib and he wouldnt sleep in there.  So it was another week of sleeping with us and not even going to sleep until 10-11pm.  Finally I was sick of it.  I slept only a few hours every night.  I tried the Ferber method and it didnt work with us.  Everytime I went in to calm him down he got worse.  So one night I just didnt go in and let him cry it out.  He cried for 45 min the first night, 30 or so the second night, the third night was only 15 minutes..then for the next week whimpered for a few minutes.  If you really want to do it, you have to stick to it.  The minute you break the cycle you will have to start over.  The child will adjust easier than the parents.  I think it is hard for us to hear them cry and they know how to manipulate us!
Good luck.

[AnnieBrooke]

ask dr sears . com / html / 7/T070300 . asp

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is an article called "31 Ways to Get Your Baby to Go to Sleep and Stay Asleep Easier."  You might check it to see if you've tried all of those tips.