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Breast Feeding an older child
I breast fed my daughter until she was 4 years old. I am very proud of this although I felt I had to do it in relative secrecy for the last 2 years as family and friends frowned upon what I was doing and thought it to be rather abnormal.
My daughter is now 7 and still has a very fond affection for my breasts.  She likes to hug and kiss them as much as possible.  Could you please let me know if you think that this is ok and acceptable or should I try to discourage.  She loves to talk about her breast feeding experience and seems to have a fondness for the subject.  I think that it is nice for her to be one of the few children in our society that has warm memories of this.  Is there anyone out there who has children with this kind of attachment.
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210400 tn?1325384170
Nope can't say I do...

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210400 tn?1325384170
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121828 tn?1333468091
My opinion and I'm sure of any pediatrician, 4 is too old to have breastfed. I think if you wanted her to have the milk you could have pumped.
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121828 tn?1333468091
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No, I don't think this is okay and acceptable. I would definitely discourage it. Her actions should tell you that you went way overboard by breast feeding her until the age of 4.
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I just couldn't imagine this.  I'm sorry, I know no one who breastfed this long.  To me, that isn't appropriate behavior for a 7 year old.. but times change daily.  
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126454 tn?1328022622
What was the reason for breastfeeding until she was 4?  Friends of mine have a 3 year old who has been off the bottle for a couple years now and he eats adult food at the table.  I think 4 is pretty old for breastfeeding and, as wannabenana said, I would also discourage her from touching and kissing your breasts.  
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126454 tn?1328022622
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13167 tn?1327197724
I think this indicates kind of an abnormal attachment on your part,  honestly.  I'm 100% for breastfeeding - it's great to nurture,  and usually breastmilk quality is superb.

In the same way that you wouldn't have offered her a bottle at age 4,  or bathe a 12 year old mainstream child,  or wipe the bottom of a 10 year old - she wasn't allowed to mature out of breastfeeding at the appropriate time - by 2 or so.

I don't think I would allow her to play with your breasts,  and I think she really needs to be told that most of society would be kind of put off by seeing her play with you the way a 10 month old might.

She needs to know what other people's expectations and reactions will be.
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13167 tn?1327197724
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365571 tn?1219601346
Diddo ladies, should pumped if you wanted her to have it that bad.  I think you need consiling for whatever insecurites your having causeing you to do this.  Thats not an attack, but it is something you may want to think about.
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365571 tn?1219601346
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441462 tn?1207954814
we had the same thing happen in a town close to me and the mother got arrested for sexual abuse to her daughter,she didnt do anything but breast feed at  the age of 4 and a friend/family turned her in and they got her for sexually abusing her child.i too feel that 4 yrs old is going way too far.my opinion is when the child can drink out of a sippy,6 months,to maybe 9 months then breast feeding should be done.when they are walking around it just doesnt look right to see a toddler on a breast.i think that this woman needs to see a psych doctor,its very unhealthy for her and her daughter and when she starts school she will be talking about her moms breast all the time and they will really cause trouble for her with the other parents when they come home and tell them about what their classmate told them.
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441462 tn?1207954814
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93532 tn?1349374050
My boys all walked by 9 mos, so does that mean I should have weaned them and started stuffing them full of formula? Yet you think it is okay to see a 1,  2 or 3 year old with a bottle I suppose. That is ridiculous! While I agree that nursing beyond a certain age (even the World Health Organization recommends 2 years, AAP recommends at least a year) can be an issue, as we have seen here, it is not up to any of use to tell her she has sexually abused her child as a result.

I do agree that her behavior now needs to be addressed. She is 3 years removed from nursing and she should be occupying herself with playing, reading, and writing, not your breasts.





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93532 tn?1349374050
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167 tn?1374177417
6 to 9 months is not too old to still be breastfeeding. My son is 8.5 months old and will not be weaned from the breast anytime soon. 4 years old, yes that is pushing it but in other countries this is more acceptable than it is here. I stick with the cut off around the time a child would be weaned from the bottle. To OP, what was your reasoning for continuing to nurse until age 4? Do you think there may have been a reason people frowned upon it? It is one thing to be proud of nursing your child when they need it but beyond about 12-18 months it is really not necessary. Something tells me this is not a real post. Where is the OP?
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167 tn?1374177417
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431894 tn?1216659546
Umm, ewww!!   I thought breastfeeding at one was already a lot, but 4, dang...  You need to let her not touch or kiss your breast, you may think it's okay because she's your daughter and you breastfed her til she was 4 but that is a little too weird of her to be feeling such affection towards them.  You should have pumped.   I don't even like seeing women breast feeding their children in public when their small, muchless at 4 years.  No wonder your friends didn't like it too much.
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431894 tn?1216659546
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167 tn?1374177417
Andi, I think we posted at the same time. I can't believe anyone thinks a child should be weaned at 6 to 9 months!
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167 tn?1374177417
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167 tn?1374177417
There is nothing wrong with seeing a woman breastfeeding a baby in public! If anyone thinks this is a problem, the problem is yours, not theirs.
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167 tn?1374177417
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270405 tn?1293039221
I don't think you would wean a baby from a bottle at 6-9 months old, so I'm not sure why you would wean a baby that young from the breast.  And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeing a woman nurse her baby in public.  We have to watch you eat in public don't we?!
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270405 tn?1293039221
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431894 tn?1216659546
It's my opinion, what do you care what other people think, you have your own, besides, i was not directing this to you so please stay out of it..
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431894 tn?1216659546
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431894 tn?1216659546
same goes to you.  You have your own opinion, I have my own.
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431894 tn?1216659546
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167 tn?1374177417
When you make a post on this forum, it becomes a public opinion. Therefore, others have the right to comment on it. I think there is a problem with someone who feels uncomfortable with such a natural, beautiful thing such as breastfeeding a baby. I stated my opinion, as you stated yours. That is the beauty of a public forum.
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167 tn?1374177417
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431894 tn?1216659546
Well you said it, it is an opinion, you have your opinion and i have my own,  and that's it.  I breastfed my daughter and pumped too, but i just wouldn't do it in public and yes, i don't think it's right if they do it in public, there are bathrooms and blankets to cover the breastfeeding and some women don't care.  Like i said, I have my own opinion, just as you have yours so please drop it.
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431894 tn?1216659546
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441462 tn?1207954814
it was my opinion and i have a right to voice my opinion,i myself feel that when a child can eat solids,and drink pumped breast milk,its time to get them off the breasts,some of you feel differently  and thats your opinion,but its my opinion,yes i think that breast feeding is a beautiful thing but when a child can drink from a cup,its better to let them.
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441462 tn?1207954814
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270405 tn?1293039221
So you can share your opinion all you want, but we need to stay out of it?  This is a public forum, so you should just expect that people will have something to say about whatever you post.  Oh, and would you eat your lunch in a nasty public restroom?  I'm guessing no.  I barely even want to use a public restroom to go to the bathroom, I certainly am not going to nurse my baby in there!  As you said up above, umm eww!
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270405 tn?1293039221
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270405 tn?1293039221
My 7 month dd doesn't know how to use a sippy cup yet, she is just starting to show interest in it.  And she refuses to take a bottle, so I guess if I were to wean her now, she would starve.  But at least others wouldn't be uncomfortable about me breastfeeding my baby.
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270405 tn?1293039221
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431894 tn?1216659546
You are right and have the right to voice your opinion, some people just take other peoples opinions way too personal and it shouldn't be that way because we can't make anyone understand who's right, therefore we all have opinions.
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431894 tn?1216659546
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127529 tn?1331844380
My opinionon  is this thread was created to start arguments about breastfeeding, extended breast feeding, feeding in public and so on between active members of the forum, nothing more.
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127529 tn?1331844380
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431894 tn?1216659546
you are taking this way out of proportion.  I just stated my opinion, what the heck??  No  matter what you tell me I will stick to mine so what then???
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431894 tn?1216659546
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270405 tn?1293039221
I am not trying to change your opinion, I am simply expressing mine.  
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270405 tn?1293039221
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431894 tn?1216659546
I am not trying to argue, these other girls keep attacking me on my opinion,  it's my opinion, do ya'll not know what an opinion is????  I have my own opinion, therefore, WHAT DOES ANYBODY CARE, IT'S AN OPINION, THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER, IT IS A FREAKIN OPINION..............................
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431894 tn?1216659546
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431894 tn?1216659546
i am not trying to change your either, i mean why are you trying to argue with me.  I don't care or am not trying to change yours, so please, respect mine as I respect yours.  okay!!
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431894 tn?1216659546
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167 tn?1374177417
Yeah, mum2beagain is onto something. It's not uncommon for someone to come on and post something like this and then sit back and watch it all unfold. It just amazes me though, that there are people out there that feel so uncomfortable about breastfeeding! It's something so natural.

Where is tulip?
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167 tn?1374177417
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93532 tn?1349374050
Babies have a biological NEED to suckle that lasts throughout their first year, giving a sippy cup as a sole source of obtaining their nutrition is denying a basic biological need. No way around it. Nursing in public is the perogative of the mother, not prudish people who seem to feel the need to voice their disgust with a natural and the most healthy way to feed a child, yet these same whiners see no problem letting their children watch violent, sex ridden movies, television shows and video games.

And as for your opinion...doesn't matter to me in the least. But I have the ability to voice mine as well. And voice it I will...mooo!

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93532 tn?1349374050
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210400 tn?1325384170
I know I was the first to post on this, I left it as it was...because as mum2beagain said sure seems like a ploy.

We all have our own opinions, lets not argue them. They were stated, now lets leave it alone, I'm sure someone is having their laughs over this question...
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210400 tn?1325384170
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431894 tn?1216659546
i never said i felt uncomfortable about breastfeeding, i said i breastfeeding in public bothered me, there is a difference.   IT'S CALLED HAVING MY OWN OPINION, GO AHEAD AND ARGUE WITH EVERYBODY ELSE, EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN OPINION........  DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAVING YOUR OWN OPINION EVEN IS, IF YOU DO, THEN STOP RIGHT NOW.
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431894 tn?1216659546
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Avatar universal
i finally bf addison at a restaurant this weekend and it was nice to not hide in the car!! i have a cover i use even though she hates to have her head covered while she eats, but i do too lol.  

this isnt a real thread, and if it is my concern is she is still talking about it and playing with her moms breasts?  after you are done breastfeeding i dont see a need to play with them.
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167 tn?1374177417
Why are you so hostile? Easy on the CAPS...!
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167 tn?1374177417
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167 tn?1374177417
I would hate eating with a blanket over my head, too!
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167 tn?1374177417
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270405 tn?1293039221
What about breastfeeding in public bothers you?
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270405 tn?1293039221
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93532 tn?1349374050
I have seen some obnoxious eaters that should eat with a blanket over their head...
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93532 tn?1349374050
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lol.  now i wish i had tiny boobies it might be more easy to hide than my large udders.  my angel loves her mama's milk but no way can i see doing it any where near that long.  just got back from dr she weighs 12lbs4oz!!  we left the hosp at 4lbs10oz or maybe even less-im so excited.  19 weeks old today  :(
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431894 tn?1216659546
First of all, ya'll don't even know me, I know darn well you two have your own opinions about everything so why are you messing with me????  and what do you care about why it bothers me, i don't have to explain anything to anyone I don't know.  I have my opinion and that's that. You girls are nobody to judge my opinions, ya'll should judge your own and not anybody elses.  Look at all your posts, you keep stating your opinions so why do you care about mine, i'm not worried about yours so WHAT DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT MINE/????   You don't know me so why ARE YOU JUDGING MY OPINIONS???  I mean really, don't you have anything better to do??????   And about me being hostile., please, take a good look at your posts..
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431894 tn?1216659546
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210400 tn?1325384170
Ok I can't follow my own advice on leaving it alone...

I never breastfed my first born...my mother said it was inappropriate (I was 16) so I just didn't do it.

My other three children I breastfed and my mother again threw a stink. I have never done it in an "obscene" way. I have always covered up etc...Never done it in public, unless its on a bathroom toilet; which might I add is very uncomfortable. But for some reason I personally can't do it. I would like to applaude ladies who can do it in public, a baby needs to eat when they need to eat. And I'm pretty sure there weren't bottles back when, so its a very natural thing to do.
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210400 tn?1325384170
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270405 tn?1293039221
I was asking you why it bothers you because I geniunely want to know.  I don't understand your opinion, so I am trying to see your point of view regardless of my opinion.  
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270405 tn?1293039221
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Where is the OP?  Come out, come out, wherever you are...
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thats a shame amber!  im getting better at not caring what others think and not hiding as much.  can make for a lonely night at a friends house if you are always in another room.  granted i dont want to see a huge belly and boob hanging out in plain sight, i dont care that a baby needs to eat.  its a shame we are so worried about body parts and this and that in this country.  i actually fed addison in a bathroom before . i almost cried the thought of her eating while i sat on some nasty public toilet.  never again!
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167 tn?1374177417
Perty, I hear ya. I've actually mastered the undershirt. What I mean is I wear a cami under my regular shirt. Then, it's pretty discreet. I just lift my over shirt up and my undershirt down and Brody's face covers the little bit of skin that's exposed. I love it when people look at me in that uncomfortable way. I give them a big, sweet smile :D I don't get how this became such an uncomfortable thing in our society but those types aren't anyone I am willing to waste much time worrying about. Like I said, it's their problem, not mine! And wow...that little princess of yours sure has come a long way from 4 lbs! Way to go, Mama!!

kenadismommy-I'm not up for your arguing over some MOOt point.
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167 tn?1374177417
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15480 tn?1302533402
I also think this is one of those threads to get people going!!

AndiJ- I agree some people (adults) should cover their heads while eating! LOL
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15480 tn?1302533402
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I don't really like to get involved in the hubbub either, but I am here to say that I agree w/ Kennadi's mom.  I feel that breastfeeding moms have a right to feed their babies and a right to do it in public.  What I don't feel they have a right to do is to expose themselves to every Tom, **** and Harry walking by.

I do think bfing moms have a right to feed their children, but I also have the right to bring my family, including 3 young children, out and not have them exposed to someone else's private parts.

There are many things that are natural and beautiful but shouldn't be done for all to see.  I don't see the reason if you plan to bf in a restaurant/public that it can't be done discreetly w/ a blanket.

I bf my 3 kids but would never have exposed myself on other people. I don't think it's right to expect that everyone else wants to witness a nursing mother.  Yes, it's natural and important, but I agree that some things are just private.

I'm sure I won't hear the end of this, but what other reason is there to not cover up in public unless you are trying to illicit attention?  I'm assuming most of the feeding is done at home, so for the few times the baby is fed in public, what's the harm in covering up so that everyone's rights are protected?

Remember, this is just MY opinion...I do not expect a lot of agreement!  Have a nice day.
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i like the glamourmom tanks but $40!!!! i saw target has some simular you can buy online for like $16, i might try one of those.  it would go under another shirt anyway.  its one of those things you have to just do it, and it gets easier the more often.  there was an older couple eating across from us, the wife seemed a little uncomfortable like it was rude to do ,  but her husband and her took turns talking on the cell phone on speaker phone while i was trying to eat.  i guess that was ok though.  speaking of eating, this baby eats so much some days i too could eat a whole cow!
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431894 tn?1216659546
I didn't want to argue either but  you pushed me.   Like i said, I have my own opinion like everybody else, thefore, I don't have to explain to anyone why i have an opinion.  Everybody else has them too, why don't you argue with them huh????   and about adults covering their heads, yeah, some should, there is nothing wrong covering a boob while breastfeeding, oh, you're gonna have your own opinion about it, come on, go for it, you won't change mine i could tell you that much..
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431894 tn?1216659546
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oldposter most moms are covered up by the babies head, so really you dont see anything.  however i have been at the grocery and a mom will pull her shirt up and everything else and you can see EVERYTHING else, im not fond of that if they werent breastfeeding lol.  but a baby has the right to eat whenever and wherever they need to.  so i will just turn my head if they are half naked lol.  nudity in my house isnt an issue and my 9yr old has seen more boob in the past 4 months lol.  its just an arm, a boob, a butt lol.
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431894 tn?1216659546
I feel the same way as you, you go girl!!!!  THese girs think they have the right to argue over my opinion, but i'm glad i'm not the only one that feels that way!   Have a great day and thanks for your input!
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431894 tn?1216659546
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167 tn?1374177417
I will have to check out target.com. I love the undershirt idea. That way you're not smothering baby with a blanket or sitting on some nasty toilet. Yuck! Oh, and you're not lying about the appetite! The breastfeeding appetite is large some days! MOOO!
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167 tn?1374177417
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270405 tn?1293039221
You know what else is nice, is some of the malls and stores are starting to provide nursing rooms.  The few that I have been to in my area are nice and clean, and comfortable.  One of them even had the lights dimmed, and provided a changing table with wipes and diapers!  I certainly don't just whip out my breast for the entire mall to look at, but I also don't think there is anything wrong with feeding my baby.  Even at home, sitting on my couch there isn't much to see.  The baby hides most of my breast.  In fact, recently my dh took a picture of my 3 year old, who was standing near where I was nursing.  He didn't even realize until later that I had been nursing, and when we looked at the picture, you couldn't see anything!
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270405 tn?1293039221
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93532 tn?1349374050
I have a question, how many women on here go and nurse in public flashing their entire breast? I am willing to bet none, in fact I don't know that I have ever seen a nursing mother who wasn't concerned with being discreet about it. But my boys have only ever seen the inside of a bathroom stall when they were going to the bathroom. I have a right to feed my nursing infant wherever the hell I want to. I was nursing my infant son during the closing on my house last year and the closing agent was impressed and very helpful. Thankfully most of the world doesn't condemn nursing mothers.

And for the record, my children think kids with bottles are "different" . They never took a bottle and they do not understand why a mom doesn't nurse. I simply explained that some mommies don't nurse and give a bottle instead. So why can't you say to your child:

A. It isn't polite to stare
B. That mother is breastfeeding her child, that is how her baby eats and it is the way nature intended it to be.

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93532 tn?1349374050
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146191 tn?1236881412
my goodness. have you ladies nothing better to do with your time? attacking people who responded to a fake post? who exactly are you sticking up for? the person who posted this just to see crazy women freak out? well you really gave 'em what they were looking for. this reminds me of the women who was kicked off the plane for breastfeeding. you will always have two sides to this type of issue. and im pretty sure i have read just about every sentence on this thread and not once did someone suggest that anyone should "stuff their child full of formula" or "starve" their child rather than breastfeed. its absurd that anyone would take it that way. i could now come back with an argument about how far formula has come and how it is a great alternative to breastmilk if you are unable to breastfeed and we could just keep this going forever and ever on and on and on. people can choose to do whatever they want with their children. its their child. but let me see a show of hands here - how many of you pro-breastfeeding moms, "nothing but breast for the first year" moms, think its ok for a 4 year old to be breastfeed and a 7 year old to play with her moms breast (if this were really a true story)? im sure not one. so everyone, please step down from your soapboxes and move on. when some people actually come on here and ask legitimate questions, no one gives a hoot, but post a controversial question and you all get your claws out. why dont all you experienced educated moms try helping some people for a change and stop preaching. some of you should really join debate teams or find a hobby....geez!
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146191 tn?1236881412
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167 tn?1374177417
BRAVO!!! **Clapping loudly and giving a standing ovation**

I was waiting for you, Andi! ;) My thoughts exactly! I was trying to think of a time when I exposed my breast for the world to see when in public. I've never seen any nursing mother exposing her breasts for the world to see. It can and is done very discreetly. Beautifully said!
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167 tn?1374177417
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146191 tn?1236881412
ps - there is nothing wrong with bottles either. but past a certain age - yes. would anyone think its "ok" to see a 6 year old walk into first grade with a bottle? no. its not ok at that age - either way. breast or bottle.

pps - just because some of you choose to breastfeed and some of you choose to bottle feed, doesn't make anyone better than anyone else. how many times must i say it on this forum "TO EACH HIS OWN". stop trying to get everyone to jump on your band wagon. this site is about helping people, not defending your positions in life.
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146191 tn?1236881412
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193609 tn?1292183893
Alright, towards the end of this, I skimmed and not sure if any one mentioned it...but as most of you know, I have a criminal justice background and for all of those that think it is exposing private parts for all to see, the law clearly states in many states that breastfeeding is not indecent exposure:

Twenty-one states exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin).

Fourteen states have laws related to breastfeeding in the workplace (California, Connecticut, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Minnesota, New Mexico, New York, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, and Washington).

Twelve states exempt breastfeeding mothers from jury duty (California, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oregon and Virginia).

Four states have implemented or encouraged the development of a breastfeeding awareness education campaign (California, Illinois, Missouri, and Vermont).

If anyone is from Ohio, you know about the lady that was asked to leave PacSun in Toledo because she was breastfeeding her baby while walking through the store...she was covered by a blanket but an employee said that she was uncomfortable with it. When the lady refused to leave she was escorted out of the mall by security.....her lawyer immediatly filed a federal law suit against the mall. The law suit is still in litagtion but the point is.......breastfeeding a baby in public is not a sexual act or an act that should be looked at as innappropriate.....most parents would tell their toddler questioning it that that is how babies get their food, and that it is a natural part of life!!!
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193609 tn?1292183893
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Avatar universal
I BREASTFED MY SON UNTIL HE WAS 3 WITH NO PROBLEMS. THE FACT THAT SHE STILL TALKS ABOUT IT IS A LITTLE ODD CONSIDERING IT WAS 3 YRS AGO. WHEN MY SON USED TO WANT TO TOUCH MY BREAST FOR COMFORT AFTER NURSING WAS DONE WITH , I SIMPLY TOLD HIM IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE AND HE STOPPED SHORTLY AFTER. I THINK THAT THE NEXT TIME YOUR DAUGHTER BRINGS THIS UP YOU SHOULD TALK WITH HER AND EXPLAIN THAT IT IS ONLY A MEANS OF FEEDING A BABY AND NOT APPROPRIATE FOR AN OLDER CHILD.
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145992 tn?1341348674
You go girl!!!
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145992 tn?1341348674
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i always feel as though im totally exposed. however not to start a debate but there are women here that are immigrants that literally walk around the store with their top all the way up and their upper body totally exposed and i assume its of normal practice where they come from. im not talking i saw one do it but it happens quite often.  how can you not notice that mess.  anyway i dont think anyone here said bottle vs breast it was about doing it in public which i think we all agreed is fine to be done.
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146191 tn?1236881412
actually, originally it was all about breastfeeding a 4 year old and dealing with a 7 year old who liked to play with her moms boobs. some fiesty women on here turned it into a pro-breastfeeding debate. thats all im saying. its like picking a fight almost. unnecessary and silly.
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not that is matters but it will lighten the forum i had  a cat that wouldnt stop getting pg so i wanted to spay her but vet said to wait until she was done nursing.  i had kept one kitten and to stop i used some of the nasty spray they use to keep an animal from licking their wounds.  well low and behold my stupid boxer started lactating and nursed my kitty!! it was cute but man it was a lactating house for some time lol.
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I personally think it is such a gift to be able to breastfeed.  But, I do think that some get so defensive and have to prove that they can do it an no one should be uncomfortable with it.  The fact is, it does make people uncomfortable because in any other situation it is a private part.  So, just because we love our babies and the gift that we can give them, doesnt mean we have to be extremists to prove that we can do it anywhere.  It is really about respect if you think about it - no one else you are exposing it to feels the love between you and your child and therefore is uncomfortable, but it seems like people arent allowed to say it makes them uncomfortable, doesnt mean they dont think it is a wonderful thing, but just that it is awkward.
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146191 tn?1236881412
just so i can clarify my OPINION - cus thats what this site is about, right? a public forum for people to post their opinions? there is nothing wrong with breastfeeding, with breastfeeding in public, or with bottle feeding. there is however something wrong with a 4 year old that breastfeeds and/or drinks out of a bottle and there is DEFINATELY something wrong with a 7 year old girl being affectionate towards (hugging and kissing) her moms breasts. bottom line. end of story.

hey - lets start a whole new debate! how about 5 and 6 year olds that still use pacifiers? ready....go!
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146191 tn?1236881412
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93532 tn?1349374050
Slapping the hands of members for voicing their opinion under the guise of voicing your own is about as hypocritical as it comes. And regardless of the original post, this type of debate is allowed and encouraged on MH. It is seen as a way to educate not only current members, but also future members who may stumble across this down the road. If nothing else was accomplished, I can only hope that those future members see that despite there being close-minded and rude people out there, they do not need to be relegated to nursing their baby on a toilet.

Bottom line, my baby, my boobs, my choice. Your baby, your bottle, your choice.
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93532 tn?1349374050
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146191 tn?1236881412
well put kerryke. i agree for the most part. and funny story pertykity!!! i heard a similar story about a pitbull whose litter got taken away by dogfighters and the animal rescue force found her and had a motherless litter of kittens who then nursed from the pitbull and she became their mom! it is a beautiful thing. however, even dogs and kittens only nurse for a certain period of time :o)
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we have a family bathroom/nursing rooms at one of the malls here too.  its nice for breastfeeding because like you said its relaxing and darker and nice to have that moment.  addison get distracted when im uncomfortable too so its nice.  it would be great if more stores were open to this.  i always try to go anywhere right after she eats so i can get in and get out, my 9 yr old isnt much fun to shop with he complains like a man lol.
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I'll respond & point my opinion when /IF the OP comes back...which I think she/he will not!Lets STOP ladies.We all know Moms parent different.Lets not argue which way is best or Judge other mom for doing it there WAY.Lets argue with the women that STARVE there kids,BEAT there kids.Not feed..bottle/breast...there babies.If I've learned something is never talk about Parenting/Religion/Politics..there will surley always be a FIGHT/ARGUMENT.Lets just be GOOD moms.
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127124 tn?1326739035
ok-  here goes.   I do not think mothers should have to feed their babies in a bathroom.  
GROSS!-   I wouldn't want to eat in a public bathroom.     I know most mothers are discreet
but there are a few in the area I live that are not discreet.   It can be done without showing all of us in public your nipples.  
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127124 tn?1326739035
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i love that i breastfeed my baby.  i love to see her little smile with that cute curled up little tongue in the corners with milk drippin out when she is happy lol.  my son had breast and bottle and at that time i worked and he had to have bottle when i wasnt around.  however this time around im not working and there is no way i want to give her a bottle.  she has had 2 bottles from my mom when she watched her for a few hours, pumped milk of course.  

my sis bottle fed because she says she couldnt produce milk, but really its because my sister (not all just my sister lol) couldnt handle the stress of all the work it is and to nurse a preemie that falls asleep constantly too.  i just hate it when she suggested during the first few weeks or month when we were learning the ropes again that i give a bottle.   i have no point, just yacking lol
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"hey - lets start a whole new debate! how about 5 and 6 year olds that still use pacifiers? ready....go! "

HEYY! Man i used a pacifier till i was like 5/6! i dont kno why it was like an addiction. i would be so embarissed because all of the other children didnt use one but i did. i remember i was a day care/school and i went in the cubby (the all ones about the length of a childrens coat) and i hit behind my coat and i sucked my fool head off. i a pacifier addict!!!! sneaking around just to get one suck!
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171768 tn?1324233699
i wished i could breast feed in public. when i had my baby, i pumped because she couldn't nurse. i was trapped in my house. between her taking forever to eat, and having to pump regularly (not to mention cleaning pump parts) it was impossible for me to do even the simplest errands. i always had to make sure i had a bottle of milk with me, and schedule it so that the errand didn't coincide with pumping time. there was only 2 hours between each session. i couldn't just run out, or meet up with the girls. each excursion took hours of planning. i couldn't just run over to my mom's house even without packing the pump. it was a nightmare.

i am a little confused by all the controversy though, because i don't see people sitting around the mall or restaurants with their boobs out. maybe it's where i live? anybody i do notice is nursing is generally being discrete, and it would take a lot of effort for me to notice any nipple. i gotta admit many of my normal shirts show a lot more boob than the nursing moms show around here.

as for the authenticity of the OP, i do know someone who nurses their 4 year old, so i suppose it is possible that it's real.
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171768 tn?1324233699
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146191 tn?1236881412
oh please Andi. come on. i was not being hypocritical in the least. in fact, i didnt even state my "opinion" on the subject at hand in my first post, i simply pointed out how absolutely rediculous it is to go back on forth on a subject that is clearly personal choice. as you would choose to say "shades of grey". i am not slapping anyones hand. i am not medhelp police. im glad you think this type of debate is "encouraged" on medhelp, but really, who is it helping? i think a better way to educate current and future members is to help out when you can and shut up when you can't.
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146191 tn?1236881412
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146191 tn?1236881412
see. i knew it would happen! haha. seriously, though, thats totally normal and when you look back at it now....cute. it just further stresses my point that these types of things are not things you can argue. moms will choose to breastfeed their children for as long as they want, when they want, where they want, etc. and children will choose to suck on pacifiers as long as they want too. that story was too funny though, i can picture you hiding behind the coat...sucking away....haha.
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tired i live in cali a huge melting pot with many different cultural practices.  ive discovered a few neat practices and not so great ones brought from their homelands, i think one of the worst is killing and cleaning chickens in the apartment breezeways  eewww!   although i said i have ran into this sit with the boobs often i never said it was everyday.  i tell you come to where i live you will see the oddest things lol
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455859 tn?1233367388
This is totally fake this is the kind of stuff u see on jerry springer come on now this is so crazy. My 4 year old bit my ankle the other day because she wasn't getting the attention she wanted there is no way I would even think about putting my TaTas in her mouth ow no way I'm allmost sceptical about when they get teeth just because doesnt it hurt? I agree 2 should be the very oldest at any point. But that's my personal opinion 4-7 that's definitly child abuse and grose
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455859 tn?1233367388
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127529 tn?1331844380
I struggle to pee in a public toilet; sometimes they are so disgusting!!
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yeah let me tell you. i remember my pacifier so well. i use to hide in the cubbies all the time because i knew other kids would tease me. one day it was picuture day and i was in the cubbie getting my last few sucks in before i had to be "big kid" and take pictures, and i bumped my head comming out of the cubby. it messed my hair up and no1 fixed it. i still look at that picture and can easliy remember why my hair is up on one side!

personally i havent breastfed in public.i have the worst luck with somethings and im very clumsy sometimes. i know something would happen where the blanket would fall off exposing my breast AND ALL, or something. i mean if i have to i will. i think they should put a couch or chair in rest rooms then i think more women could go and feed in there withough and uncomfort or fuss.

now that i think about it... i dont think i have ever seen a woman breastfeed in public! maybe its a jersey thing.
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kim i bet you were so cute hiding with your binky lol.  your little man is the cutest!! does he like his pacifier? or are you it? haha
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146191 tn?1236881412
i live in jersey also and can't say i see it too often. not that i would mind if i did. like i said - its a personal choice. i dont think women who breastfeed should have to sit in icky bathroom stalls either! i wouldn't. half the time, i dont even like to change edward on those bathroom changing tables and try to avoid having to do it.
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146191 tn?1236881412
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171768 tn?1324233699
hmm... i'm a jersey girl too. i know there must be people here bf. maybe they just hide it well? maybe some jersians should head over to perty's part of the country and teach them how to do it discretely :)
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455859 tn?1233367388
I think seeing a women bf is abeutiful thing as long as she's covered why should u have to be stuck in ur house 24/7 just so u can feed ur child If ya'all lived in seattle u would drowned with all the rain LOL
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146191 tn?1236881412
haha. good idea! then perty's neighbors can teach the jersians to kill and clean chickens! :oP
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perty- : ) thanks. yeah no he doesnt really like it at all. he will sorta take it if hes hungry but he doesnt enjoy it. i dont kno why he doest like it when i enjoyed it for a lot of my childhood. but o well. no i havent tried it lol. i dont even know how i stopped using one. my mom said she thought i would be on one til i went of to college.  
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210400 tn?1325384170
Ok so the bathroom thing may have been a bit of an overstatement its not that I'm always in the bathroom feeding her lol. Usually I wait until we are back in my car. Not sure why its such an issue for me, I don't mind it when others feed their babies in public. Maybe I'll guts up and do it one of these days :) lol. Although when I go to the Mall there is a nursing room which is excellent!

Kim: Love the pacifier and trying to help the topic change! That is great! My 12 week old hates the pacifier has never once taken it...(I tried a few times lol).
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lol.  i dont live in that neighborhood thank god!! i am not going to say where they come from because i dont want to be accused of thinking all people from this country or that country are like that but for sure there are many that have  a hard time adapting to our way of life in the states.  just as i couldnt adapt well to some of their ways.  i live in a large agriculture area, you can thank us for a good part of your fruits so that means hiring aliens to do the farmwork.  

what size are you all? i am an E cup and it just seems like they are all over the place!  i foresee a boob job in my future.  

i dont want snow,  im done with the rain, the sun is out and if you check out my pics you can see how great it was at the beach yesterday.  
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270405 tn?1293039221
I am a D cup, and luckily for me they haven't changed all that much from what they looked like before having kids.  I doubt I will need a boob job, but a tummy tuck, maybe!  After 2 c-sections, my stomach is ruined.  I also can't wait for the weather to change for us.  I am tired of winter.  I know, I live in Seattle, so rain comes with the territory, but the summers here are so beautiful!
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i hear you after 2 c's as well. one of the plastic surgeons here was doing a post mommy special, boobs and tummy tuck haha.  i heard it hurts but is so worth it.  i have family up near bellingham somewhere i keep meaning to come visit but never find the time.

its been in the mid 70's here, just perfect!! our summers are hot hot hot.  
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I have read through this entire post and I have NOT once read where anyone said a woman should NOT be allowed to bf in public.  The issue w/ bfing public that I (and others) stated is when it is NOT done discreetly.

I'm glad some of you have never witnessed a very public breastfeeding while trying to have a family get together with children and relatives with the woman at the next table totally exposed.  It does happen and that is the type of thing that I am opposed to.

What I do find offensive is that some of the very pro-bfing people on here have made very condescending remarks about women who chose to feed formula.  Feeding your baby formula is not child abuse...I realize no one said it was, but the superiority expressed by some b/c they bf is ridiculous.  While they demand that everyone accept their right to bf, they seem to look down on another mother making the decision to formula feed.

FYI -- I have bf all 3 of my children so I am not pushing formula, but I don't look down on anyone who does -- even if it's b/c they want to and not b/c they don't have a choice.
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270405 tn?1293039221
Yeah, I grew up in California.  Northern California, but it still had hot summers!  I used to love the 100 degree weather.  Now that I have lived here for 7 or 8 years, I am just not into that hot of weather any more.  I do miss getting to swim in a pool all the time though!  There wouldn't be any point in having a pool here!  
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146191 tn?1236881412
thank you for seeing what i did and speaking up. no one ever bashed breastfeeding in public. since you are a mother who breastfeed, its nice (and refreshing) that you don't discourage bottle feeding. it is simply is a personal choice.
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455859 tn?1233367388
Ya, the rain would just fill the pool up I lived in  eastern wa & onthe east coast and am in love with the hot weather now but still Love the rain it's so calming Im just tired of it I want to work in my yard

I couldn't breast feed and had to bottle feed my first I tried to but I wasnt producing enough milk due to a stupid choice I mad at 18 Im going to try again but I didn't get that from this at all I do believe there is more nutrients in breast milk ONLY if the mom is eating properly I think everyone has there own choice on it though

Oh and I read that breast feeding doesn't damage ur TaTas its actually being pregnant it's in the mayo clinic book but I know after lilly i went from a dd to a B cup about 2 months ago and now im allready a full C god they hurt sooo bad he's all over them and Im like gosh please don't touch them
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93532 tn?1349374050
"I don't even like seeing women breast feeding their children in public when their small," One instance you didn't see.

"but i just wouldn't do it in public and yes, i don't think it's right if they do it in public" Another instance you didn't see.

Not to mention the comment that once they are capable of eating solids they should be off the breast.

PK, I am actually looking to have surgery done in the next few years. I need my boob put back where it belongs and a nip and tuck to the excess belly skin. It appears that three babies and two bouts of polyhydramnios did it in! I may have to come down to sunny CA for the mommy special and recoup at Peek's place! Hey, my dh may be going TDY down there for work. Trying to see if we can work a little family trip out of it : )
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164559 tn?1233711618
Wow, what a lot of fighting over a probably fake post.

So I may as well put my two cents in.  

I bf in public, anywhere the baby decides she is hungry.  I cover her up with a blankie and most of the time people have no clue what I am doing.  I have nursed in church, in the airport, in restaurants, in business meetings, you name it.  

I NEVER go to a bathroom to nurse.  Would you eat your lunch sitting on a toilet?  Gross and yuck.  In 17 years I have only had one or two negative comments.  I have found most people accomodating and accepting.

I nursed Joseph until about 18 months.  I will nurse Nadia as long as she wants or about age 2 whichever comes first.  Joseph remembers nursing and he feels sorry for babies who get bottles.  He views that as "abnorma".  Funny, huh?

I hate pumping, and will only do so when I am forced to teach a weekend seminar, otherwise I nurse during my work day.

BTW the new WHO guidelines recommend nursing up to 3 years.  Of course that would be a wee bit long for me.

And I will always feel that bf is best and formula is a close second.
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93532 tn?1349374050
Anxious-CJ is almost 17 mos and shows no sign of weaning completely any time soon., it does make me feel better to see you nursed Joseph until 18 mos and that Miss Nadia is going strong. CJ only nurses a few times a day, but I can see it is as much for comfort and closeness as it is for nourishment.

I didn't realize WHO changed their recommendations. Interesting. I cannot see me personally nursing that long, but if it works for others more power to them, hopefully they are not met with the negativity offered by some.
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118225 tn?1278658540
I read through this entire post, there are a lot of different opnions.  Thought I would share mine as well.  

I have never breastfed, not once in my life.  It was just a personal choice I made, I had my 1st DS when I was 19 and wasnt even close to comfortable with the idea.  I actually enjoy bottle feeding.  The only reason I am saying this is because I saw someone above said something about being looked down upon for bottle feeding.  I am very close to my children, and dont think this effected them in the least.  I personally have never shared this on this forum because I know so many people are so passionate about BF'ing I didnt want to get chastized, but I wanted to share my opinion from someone on the other end of the spectrum.

I don't mind when I see someone BF'ing in public.  i do mind when women in very public places completely expoe themselves when not really called for,.  i have seen women whip it out and leave it all out before holding baby, and preparing baby while it is out.  In places like resteraunts I do find this odd.i dont see a need to be exposed before the actual act of feeding has taken place.  i have also seen women with blankets, or even just mostly covered by baby, I dont care about that.  a baby does have to eay, and no I dont really think a restroom is the BEST place to feed a baby.  In response to the obviously fake OP, I think that BF'ing until 4 and then having a 7 year old like to caress and kiss your breast is very unhealthy.  Not in the least bit normal.
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127529 tn?1331844380
Yes everyone is entitled to an opinion, however if your opinion is considered to be discriminatory it is not appropirate to voice it.

I think saying it is not right to breastfeed in public is discriminating against both breastfeeding babies and nursing mothers.

One of my children was bottle fed, the other nursed. I fed them both whenever they needed feeding wherever they needed feeding and I don't think I have ever horrifed a passer by with either method. Infants/toddlers nursing is perfectly natural, interested children should be told just that.
I see much more flesh bared at our local malls by individuals wearing hipster jeans and low cut short tops.
I had to laugh under my breath at my 4 year old yelling "ladies tummy" across the mall at a passer by a few weekends ago, he's also been known to say "that's Sam's milk" (Sam being my youngest) at someone showing a little too much cleavage at a family gathering!!

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127529 tn?1331844380
Ziggy's girl, that comment wasn't directed at you BTW!!

Leaving at all hanging out whilst babe is no where near is perhaps a little too much exposure LOL!
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i remember a time in vegas when the girls were high up they needed to be shown off to anyone who would look... oh where was i. lol  
andi where in cali are you going?   yesterday at the beach i believe i saw tori spelling!! she was in her tour bus advertising her new show and i could see a camera man and her and her family eating that they had picked up from the place my son and i ate!! lol i loved her show tori and dean inn love was so silly.  
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242084 tn?1244551910
You know what grosses me out??? Seeing some obese "man boobs" bouncing around on a topless man.  I mean, some men have bigger breasts than I do; yet if a person gets a flash of skin from my breast as I put my son to my chest to breastfeed, somebody might be offended.  Kinda crazy to me!  Afterall, they are simply mammary glands-- be it a man or woman.  Why are men with large breasts allowed to "expose themselves", yet a woman trying to nurture and feed her child is considered being indecent?

That being said, I do make every effort to cover up when nursing.  I have one of those "hooter hiders" apron thingies that I put on while breast feeding.  I will admit that I'm a LOT bolder nursing now with my 2nd son.  With my 1st ds I DID go in to the handicapped stall at Wal-Mart to nurse him during my first outing.  I was SO grossed out sitting there on the toilet (I put a seat liner on), hearing other people "go", smelling the rank odors and trying to keep my ds balanced and level to nurse.  When my boobie pad fell out of my bra and on to the floor it was the last straw.  I dislodged my son from my chest and took him out to the car to finish.  This time around with ds #2, I went to the back of the store where there was a bench by the employee's break room to nurse at Wal-Mart.  I got a LOT of negative stares, and I did feel odd sitting there with one of those black domes with a camera in the ceiling, but I figured- TOUGH.  My son does not deserve to have to eat in a toilet stall, and I shouldn't have to hike back out to the parking lot to feed him in my car.  I was just waiting (and daring) someone from Wal-Mart to say something... darn it, they didn't! :o)

Anyway, I breast fed my 1st ds until he was 11mo. old.  I would've gone longer but he weaned himself (possibly because by that point I was already 5mo. pregnant with ds #2 and my milk tasted differently).  I plan on doing the same or more with my newborn son.  I do think that 4 yrs old is pushing the envelope way too far though.
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203342 tn?1328740807
I had a friend who breastfed all her kids. She was at my house once when her three year old walked up to her and told her she wanted to nurse. At first I was surprised and a bit uncomfortable. But then I just shrugged and figured if it worked for them, why not? I've known her for many years now and her daughter is now a well adjusted teenager and I'm pretty sure she's not obsessed with breasts, lol.

Just in case anyone's interested too; did you know that in Bible times they generally nursed until the child was about three years old? I just thought that was interesting.

I tried to breastfeed my last one and got sick and had to have surgery and had to stop. It was very disappointing because I really wanted it to work. But he's a healthy, happy child and that's all that matters.

Have a great day, ladies! :)
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I get sick of seeing half dressed women walk around with their **** hanging out, "just because".  I went shopping with my nephews at Super WalMart yesterday, it was a nice 59 degrees outside and the first person we stumble upon while walking in is some big breasted hoochie momma with her fake triple E's hanging out of her super low cut blouse, while she sported her tiny little dress that barely covered her hiney.  That IS the norm around here!  I would MUCH RATHER see MORE breastfeeding mothers and WAY LESS half dressed women running around... and the teenage girls are just as bad, if not worse.  
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dont tell my husband he can see this on a regular basis haha.  
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165078 tn?1255610007
Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing to mother and baby.  I was not given that experience but I would have if I could have but I can say I would have always done it in private and pumped when outside.  I know a women's breast is there for the sole reason of nursing but I honestly dont want to see it.  It is beautiful to mom and baby not to strangers.  I will not change my daughter's diaper in a public restroom I sure would not feed her in one and I certainly would not allow her private parts to be seen anywhere in public so why would I allow mine.  I love the debates on here.  Always something interesting.  Good Luck breastfeeding mom's you do not have it easy out there.  Good for you Bottle Feeding mom's - dont be ashamed there is nothing wrong with it.  My advanced 10 month old is living proof that formula works just fine it is the parents ability to teach and read that develops the child.

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455859 tn?1233367388
I allway's thought leaving something to the imagination was better but sometimes u just cant hide those big mama's unles u wear a turtle neck and when it's hot out who's doing that. So does any one like andrew dice clay (spelling?) He is so grose but funny he's from the 80's and early 90's well I was watching his stand up and he complimented a woman on her TaTa's and so of course I looked it was so nice they were REAL and mybe a C if that and I just thought man those were the days before everyone was plastic wouldn't that be nice and so much more comfortable lifts and tuck's are one thing but is it really that important to purposely kill ur back with HUGE FAKE MAMA'S as women it can't be that comfortable but that's what society is turing u in to just to feel normal it's so amazing
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455859 tn?1233367388
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428427 tn?1204829774
WELL, I AM GOING TO BREASTFEED MY BABY. I AM HOPING TO DO IT FOR THE FIRST YEAR. SO, THIS IS OK?
I DON'T THINK I COULD BREASTFEED AROUND A BUNCH OF STRANGERS. BUT AS FAR AS I KNOW I DONT THINK I WILL NEED TO. IF WE ARE OUT AND ABOUT, I CAN SIT COMFORTABLY IN MY CAR. AND THERE ARE A LOT OF STORES THAT PROVIDE BREAST FEEDING CENTERS THAT I HAVE HEARD OF. AND IF NOT, WE SHOULD ENCOURAGE OUR LOCAL STORES TO DO SO. WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT, ITS A HOT BUTTON TOPIC. SOME PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT, SOME PEOPLE DO, SOME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE DOING IT IN PUBLIC (ME). I NEVER REALLY SEE WOMEN BREAST FEEDING IN PUBLIC.
BUT ANYWAYS, BREAST FEEDING FOR A YEAR IS OK, RIGHT?
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428427 tn?1204829774
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165078 tn?1255610007
Breastfeeding centers is a great idea - they should make it mandatory like public restrooms.  Babies R Us has one and also has a changing room that is as nice as my baby's nursery.  I always though they should have these everywhere.  Babies pretty much go everywhere as much as we do so why not have a baby bathroom.  I also feel bad for the dad's of little girls who are potty trained and have to take them into the men's room.  So gross but what is a dad to do.  They should have kid rooms or private rooms.

Anyway, good idea.  Breastfeeding is recommended for AT LEAST a year.  More is better.
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165078 tn?1255610007
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167 tn?1374177417
It's a great plan and all...but wait until a day when you are lugging yourself, your baby and a carseat out to your hot or cold car (depending on the time of year) just so you can feed him or her. I guarantee you will probably think twice about this concept. Breastfeeding in public is rarely ever a situation where you expose others to your boobs hanging out. Most mothers do it very discreetly.
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167 tn?1374177417
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242084 tn?1244551910
I agree with jenshim... you won't want to always be breast feeding in your car.  When you've got a full shopping cart or are no where near your car, and your baby starts screaming for some boobie, I guarantee you that you won't be just walking back out to the parking lot... you'll be searching for a spot to sit down and nurse asap!  When you breast feed, your milk lets down when baby cries, so you NEED to feed baby right there and then.  Also, your breasts can become engorged and HURT if you put off breast feeding until you're convieniently close to your car to nurse.
Look in to getting a "hooter hider" or a breastfeeding cover wrap (they sell them on eBay).  They work really well on covering you and baby up and are light weight.  THe only "exposure" I've ever done was because my son pulled the cloth away while nursing and gave others a show... but you know what?  I didn't care-- it wasn't that I'd done it intentionally, and if others were looking at my chest, well, then they deserved the accidental flashing!! LOL
Definitely give breastfeeding a try, and if you can go a year that's wonderful!!  Bottle feeding is okay, but momma's milk is the most complete and best for your baby (even ALL the formula manufacturer's admit that "breast milk is best").
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242084 tn?1244551910
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93532 tn?1349374050
To all the first time nursing mom's- I remember very clearly with Jonathan, I nursed in my car, ducked into back bedrooms while out and about, in fact the only time I nursed in public with Jonathan was on a trip to SD. We had 2 legs each way and I sat in a window seat, had dh next to me, my in laws in front of us, and I nursed on take off and landing. I was covered with a blanket and was still nervous. I used to plan my trips around it so I didn't get stuck nursing in public.

With T, I was more relaxed, but still spent more time nursing in my car. When he was 6 weeks old, my little brother came to visit. He was "uncomfortable" with nursing, but when in my own home, I am not hiding. I let him know he needed to either accept it or spend a lot of time in another room. It took three kids, but he can finally hold a conversation with me while looking me in the eyes while I am nursing. I can only recall nursing in public once and it was during a Professional Bull Riding event, the older couple behind us was so nice, the woman helped hold the blanket on because T HATED to be covered and kept pulling it off ;-)

By the time I had my third, I said to heck with it. I knew I kept myself covered and never once got a cross look while nursing. Most didn't even know I was nursing. I was nursing at every visit with our realtor, she was very supportive, I nursed during the closing, and she was, too.

Some mentioned locations as a possible relation. I do think there is some truth to that. There is a very clear divide in WA, those who live "west" of the mountains (ie Seattle, Olympia, etc) and those who live "East" of the mountains (ie Spokane) I have had the benefit of nursing on both sides. West is more relaxed by far. You are more likely to find nursing women here. In fact during trips to the zoo, it is not uncommon to find the park benches full of mom's with blankets nursing their babies. My kids are elated to see that "Look Momma, she is nursing her baby!"

I just think it is really crummy that nursing moms are being shunned and relegated to their cars to nurse their babies. Sure, ideally stores or public places would provide places for nursing moms to feed their babies, but it isn't coming fast enough. Until that day, I hope more moms become secure enough to realize that a majority of people don't feel the way the few do on here. As I mentioned earlier, I don't know that I have ever seen a woman nurse without discretion. This area is also known for the amazing diversity it possesses. We have a huge hispanic population as well as Native American and asian. It seems any nursing mom I have seen has gone to great lengths to ensure discretion.
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93532 tn?1349374050
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118225 tn?1278658540
IMO, I feel that if a nursing mother is uncomfortble nursing in public, it isnt completely because she feels shunned.  A lot of the opinions on here are moms themselves who just didnt feel comfortable enough themselves.  And it also seems that confidance is something that is gained by a mother at her own time(again, basing this on what I have read).  I am not saying this is the way it should be, but just appears to be the way it is.  i know if I ever DID nurse, i doubt I could do it in public.  I have an issue with my body as it is, dont like ANYONE just looking at me, so i know my own private issues would keep me from doing it in public, because while it is a natural and beautiful thing, it is still considered a "private part" by most, i hope that makes sense the way I tried to say it!!

As far as seeing women exposed, i work in a resteraunt part time.  Also eating out is a big part of my families life as it is something I enjoy very much.  It has surpirsed me how much I have seen both here in phoenix and las vegas.  All im saying about that is, aa a mother who bottle fed, I was always prepared for the fact that my baby would want to eat while out.  It is just my opinion that a mom who nurses could also prepare by wearing something hat makes her breast not only easier accessed by baby, but no so visible to everyone else who doesnt care to see itthat also inculed belly and anything else that might show when not dressed for nursing or have a blanket).  Again, this is all my opnion and I am saying it with full respect for EVERY mom out there.
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118225 tn?1278658540
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270405 tn?1293039221
I was the same way with my first dd.  I pumped half the time, just so that I could bring a bottle with me every where I went.  I was terrified to nurse in public.  I planned trips around her feeding times, and would freak out when she would cry in public, knowing she was hungry.  I couldn't even do it around my in laws, who we see all the time.  Well, I am more comfortable now with my 2nd dd.  She also absolutely refuses to take a bottle, so it kind of forced me to get over it a lot quicker.  I don't think anyone sees anything when I'm nursing, of course I am very discreet.  I also agree that it might have something to do with where you live.  Here in western washington, it seems pretty common.  I am only like 15-20 minutes outside of Seattle, and I live really close to a part of town that is known for having many different cultures and ethnic backgrounds.  Here, it is pretty common to see mothers nursing on the benches throughout the local malls.  Honestly, I can't even tell half the time if they are nursing or just holding their baby.  I also don't see too many people bat an eye over it either.  And I do seem woman nursing in restaurants all the time, again very discreetly.  Makes sense, my dd likes to eat when we do also!  I think it is becoming more popular, especially in this area.  The hospital I gave birth at really encourages woman to breastfeed, as did my doctors and the birthing class I took while pregnant with my firsts.  I had a lactation consultant come to my hospital room multiple times a day when I had my first.  I didn't even ask for one!
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270405 tn?1293039221
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Avatar universal
I don't see how seeing a mommies half exposed breast is any worse than the way our society dresses these days.  I've read it alot on here, and I will agree with those who have said that breastfeeding is a natural, beautiful thing, and it should be seen that way instead of looking at a mommy feeding her baby the way God intended in disgust.  Why not protest Victoria Secret's window at the mall, or half of all the other stores that half dress their manicans, or posters in their stores...  It is so shameful that those things are accepted, but a mother breastfeeding her child is not.

I will breastfeed wherever and whenever I want.  I do live in one of those states that Cheyenne posted that are exempt from public indecency exposure.  
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167 tn?1374177417
Andi-funny you mention your brother. My brother had a problem with me at first nursing when he was there also. I went in another room when he was around, but I have since decided that if he can't handle it, he can leave when he is in my home. His home, I go to a bedroom and nurse in private. He has gotten used to it now though and like you said, can now look me in the eye and carry on a conversation. Ben's family is VERY supportive of nursing and I do it when we are all sitting in their living room visiting. Doesn't matter whose there, it's no big deal. I have realized that with an undershirt like I was talking about (a cami type shirt) there really is nothing exposed except for the part the baby's face covers.

It just bugs me when women are made to feel ashamed...like they need to hide when they are feeding their baby. Would a bottle feeding woman hide to feed her baby in public when he/she screams out because of hunger? Of course not. The concept is the same. The issue is feeding your child. It's not nudity, it's nature. It is our modern society that has made this into a shameful issue.
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167 tn?1374177417
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167 tn?1374177417
Thank God for the state and place I work in. I have a lovely pumping room right down from my office and my work area HAS to let me pump. I also was called to jury duty and was able to postpone it until I am done nursing. Mayo Clinic (where I work) is wonderful for providing pumping rooms all over campus in several locations of each building. I can't imagine I would have been able continue nursing this long had I not had this provided for me.

It is amazing...the things you see out in public...and then the comments and attitudes toward a nursing mother. It's backwards!
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167 tn?1374177417
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93532 tn?1349374050
Amen, Malissa! Skanky teenage girls, mid-life crisis soccer moms, and trashy bar flies dress exposing more breast than any nursing mom I have seen and make no effort to cover up.

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93532 tn?1349374050
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midlife crisis soccer moms haha!!!!!  i wish i could snap my fingers and be showered and ready today,  im tired from killer allergies!  and my poor little hot baby :(
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146191 tn?1236881412
now thats one thing i can agree with! there are MUCH worse things out there than breast-feeding moms. not that a breast-feeding mom is a bad thing. it is a necessary thing. skanky overweight women letting it all hang out is about as UNnecessary as you can get, and there should be a special room for THOSE women to go cover up. haha.
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146191 tn?1236881412
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167 tn?1374177417
Perty-at least you have warm weather. We're gearing up for 5-7 inches of snow for the second time in a week. It's the never ending winter here in good ol' cold, snowy Minnesota!!
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167 tn?1374177417
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Avatar universal
its interesting the difference in mothering skills or what have you.  my sis has a 2 yr old and a almost 5 yr old.  out of control.  she spends all day chasing, yelling, threatning, but never following through and giving me or others parenting advice.  ooooookay.  she tells me to put my baby down i hold her too much,  WTF?  and when my son does something or says something she doesnt like (ya he is 9 and starting to get a little mouthy) all of a sudden i need to do this or that.  she gave bottles and gave them whenever they fussed to quiet them because of the stress it caused her.  still to this day gives her son milk to calm him or food. my god at old navy she used candy to try to quiet her 2 yr old by saying "you wont get your candy if you dont sit down" actually she yelled it.  im bothered by this more than any boobs hanging out.  she is making me crazy by blaming everything her kids do on everything but her lack of parenting skills.  i have tried to tell her ways to help but she gets mad at me and says her kids dont respond to that  or that her daughter would have to sit in a naughty chair all day. so let her!!! its embarresing these days to go out, my sis loses control and really its a shame.  i hope she doesnt have more she couldnt handle it.  i think im better now i vented.  lol.  we are just so different, im the overly cautious mom and she cant stand that and she gives her 2 yr old taffy to eat.  
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428427 tn?1204829774
OMG!! I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. SO AM WOMAN QUIETLY FEEDING HER BABY IS AN OUTRAGE, BUT THE SCREAMING KIDS YELLING AT THEIR MOM AND CURSING IS OK. THE OTHER DAY I WAS IN A DISCOUNT DRUGMART. THIS LITTLE BOY WAS SCREAMING AT HIS MOTHER CALLING HER A B**** B/C SHE WOULDN'T BUY HIM A LITTLE TOY.
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428427 tn?1204829774
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167 tn?1374177417
Ha! You think that's bad? I was in a store the other day and a woman said to her approximately three year old daughter "Shut the F**K up you little brat, you're p i s s i n g me off!" I almost said something to her but then she walked off. I felt so sorry for that cute little girl. Imagine how she talks to her at home if she will openly verbally abuse her like that in public. What a shame...
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167 tn?1374177417
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Avatar universal
Mommy must cover her belly while breastfeeding, but let's let 16 year old Molly walk into Applebees with her bright pink halter top that exposes her freshly pierced belly button, and hip hugger jeans that exposes half her a$$ crack.. God forbid Molly might get offended if she sees my stretch mark stomach while my baby nurses.  

Fat boy in the booth in front of me has had he "back boobs" exposed for the full hour we've been seated... but yet he looks over at a nursing mom in disgust.  Bet if it were a just a woman sitting in the booth behind him with her nipple accidently exposed he wouldn't say a freaken word.  

These babies are the future of our Nation!!  We allow our children to sit in our public schools and are taught "basic sex ed".  Kids are taught how to "properly" apply a condom to a mans genitals, but they leave that class not knowing the purpose that the good Lord gave a woman to produce milk for her baby.  The baby is EATING!  We all eat to survive!  This is NOT a dirty thing!!  So what if a moms stomach is exposed.. we all have the SAME body parts.    
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270405 tn?1293039221
OMG...I think I would have lost it on that woman!  I can't even imagine saying that to my 3 year old!  That kind of makes me sick to think about...
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270405 tn?1293039221
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455859 tn?1233367388
I just don't understand when they can't handle the one child they continue to have more. I was at Albertsons and this woman had 5-6 kids they were all over the place fighting and pushing she's pregnant but not sying a word to them just letting them run into people and say rude words a 4 year old shouldn't even know I was just amazed Why keep poppin-em out when I'm sure the first was out of control if u let them run the show
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455859 tn?1233367388
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127529 tn?1331844380
Mmmm, still no sign of Tulip and her 7 year old daughter with a breast fixation then??

It's been really interesting to read all the different opinions here, I guess thats what makes it such a good site!
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127529 tn?1331844380
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Avatar universal
my son knows babies drink from breasts and from bottles.  i dont think if he saw a mom feeding in public he would notice the difference.  my 4 yr old niece is so cute, she loves to watch me feed addy (she and her brother were bottle fed) and sits next to me and tells me "you are such a good mommy to give addison booby milk" oh its so sweet!!!  i have a friend with 6 kids, those kids are so well behaved in the store.  i want to cry a mom said that to her baby, why on earth do people have kids if they cant love them?  

my sis talks about if she had another but boy i would **** her off and tell her she should reconsider because she cant handle the two she has.  my niece tells me things like "your not the boss of me i dont have to listen to anything you say"  or things like that and it p!sses me off my sis allows her to talk to grown ups like that.  she laughs and thinks its cute.  when i do discipline her daughter ( i babysit her often so you better believe my rules in my house or i dont watch your kids) she tells me im being mean!  ugh.  i feel for the kids because they dont know the right way unless someone shows them.  im not a perfect mom, heck today i had the school call because of an outburst with my son, but boy i do try my best.  when i make a mistake i try to find a way to do it better just like we all do.  i know there isnt a perfect mom out there but i do strive to do the right thing.  now after all that mommy needs a day to get a pedicure and get a chance to miss the kids lol.