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Do you have a baby shower for a third child
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Do you have a baby shower for a third child

I called my oldest sister today and asked her if she was going to give me a shower like she did my other sister and she said no.  She said you don't give baby showers for a third child.  I called my other sister and she said she wasn't going to do it either.  Was I wrong, do you not give a shower for a third child
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14 Comments Post a Comment
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1197637_tn?1331562433
I don't think I matter is it's the first or third but I not sure I think it's up to you if you won't one or not x  
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796506_tn?1370191905
I am not having a baby shower this time around but it is only due to me being across the country from all of my family... I am sure that my parents and my dh's parents will be sending us stuff but I am going to buy a cake when I go to see my family after the little one is born so we can all celebrate together. I think it is all up to you and I think maybe you could find one of your friends that are willing to help you with your plans instead of relying on your sisters.
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801496_tn?1262578977
Typically the etiquette has always been that you only get a shower for your first child.
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296076_tn?1371338074
No shower unless they are like over 5 years apart...
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1012334_tn?1283706579
I am currently pregnant with my 4th child and have had a baby shower for all of them, i would not have thrown one for myself, but my sister-in-law and my best friend are planning one for me this time too! I have reently moved and don't have much for this baby so I am grateful. I think having a baby shower for 3rd or more children is totally up to the individual. I do know people who only have them for their first or only if the baby is a different sex than the first. I feel the baby shower are celebrating the baby not you, so why should every baby get their own special party! I also have several hispanic friends and they say that they throw a party even if it's the 10th baby. good luck and if you really want one see if maybe a friend or a different family member who whats to will throw you one!
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Avatar_f_tn
I know old fashioned etiquette says no, but really, yes! Every baby is different, needs change and it's a great reason to celebrate your happiness with your friends.  Gifts don't have to be pricey.  My two girls were 7 years apart, and I gave away all the baby things, thinking there was no #2, so I really appreciated the shower!  I got pg again with #3 (miscarriage) after Katrina wiped out all my baby things, so again, a shower would have been nice! Your sisters are not compelled to throw you a shower.  Maybe your friends will, or  *gasp* throw yourself a party (can't call it a shower and think there will be gifts if you are the hostess) with games and cake and celebrate with your friends!
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Avatar_f_tn
I agree with a previous comment. I've always been told that (according to ettiquette) you only give baby showers for the first child. I would expect that if the second were twins or very far apart, then this might be an exception.
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127124_tn?1326739035
I think it is wrong to expect a shower for any baby.  Whether it's your first or third.  
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1035252_tn?1371343440
I'm with ChantalO...unless the babies are far apart, I would say it's inappropriate (and somewhat tacky) to have a shower for any baby past 1...simply because people feel obliged to spend money, and while they're happy to do it for your first baby, it might start to get irritating after 1....My SIL is having a shower for her second baby and the whole family is upset about it...her son is not even 4 yet so its not a matter of spacing. Even her husband feels that it's tacky and has told her he doesn't want to be a part of it...Everyone feels like they went all out for shower #1 and that it's selfish to ask people to pay for your second child...but it's all a matter of personal opinion.

This is my second baby and I had a friend offer to throw a shower, but I'm set against it because I feel it's inappropriate. (my daughter is only 17 months now...and even though we're having a boy this time it just doesn't feel right). But I did tell her that we could have a party, but there would be no presents. So you could always do that. But etiquette says no for multiple showers (with a few exceptions).
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Avatar_f_tn
In general you only get a shower for the first baby.
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Avatar_f_tn
i've heard you only get a shower for the 1st child and if the later children are of a different sex of more than 4+ years apart.

BUT i think that every child is different. even if it's not a "shower" but a "baby party" would be fine. Having a small get together with friends to just celebrate the pregnancy isn't wrong.
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Avatar_f_tn
the typical deal for this situation is unless the pregnancies are more then 4-5 years apart or if u know what ur having and say u already have a boy but now ur having a girl then there might be cause for a small shower. in my family we only do shower's in those case's. like me i have a boy who is gonna be 6 in may and i am 23 weeks pregnant but i am also having a girl so for both those reason's i am getting a baby shower. But i agree that it is tacky to expect a shower for every pregnancy exspecially if there is less then 2 years between them! but it is totally up to the family and friends of the person if they want to do it then fine i would just make it very clear that it is more for celebration and that you don't need a whole slue of stuff just nesesities like diapers,wipes,bottles and exetra that is my appinion...
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134578_tn?1383690151
There's something in our neighborhood called a "sip 'n' see," where girlfriends come and sip tea and see the baby (after the baby is born, obviously) that is sometimes done for a subsequent child.  Hate to be disappointing about the loot, but sip 'n' sees are also no-gift.

Traditional etiquette not only says no to showers for second babies, but it says family members should not be the one to throw the shower.  (Reasoning that the family should be helping the pregnant person without soliciting contributions.)  I think modern reasoning has added the caveat about "if it has been 5 years or more it's OK" (in this day and age of recalls on baby items) and also if the family member throwing the shower only invites family members, it is considered acceptable.   My poor sisters-in-law got cut out of my two showers -- my neighbor threw one but she only wanted to invite neighbors, and my sister threw one just for my mother and sisters.  Nobody else offered, so that was it.  (I didn't feel I could go out and drop hints to friends that I wanted a shower just so my sisters-in-law could come, it felt too much like asking people to give me stuff.)  The word tacky has been used a couple of times, my feeling is that the tacky thing would be to be mad at someone for not throwing a shower.  If you just are in the mood for a party, call your best girlfriends and go out to lunch (on you if you have the means, or Dutch).  At least then you can have the festive feeling and see your friends before the baby comes.
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Avatar_f_tn
I wouldn't be calling people to ask if they will throw a shower, if htey haven't offered, I would let it go.  They may want to give the baby a gift even without the party when they come to see them.   With our second baby, we still had lots of baby stuff, the bedding, swing, bouncer, etc from the first baby that I got at my shower.  Had tons of visitors that stopped by- like the sip and see,some brought gifts, some didn't.  You can always hold a get together, or have people over after baby- if someone, maybe a friend offers to throw you you a shower, then let them, but don't worry about planning one.  I would just stock up on the basics you need & not count on a shower in case you don't get one.  
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