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Feelings after Miscarriage
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Feelings after Miscarriage

OK.  Here is my problem.  I am 25 years old and baby was due 7/30/06.  I was diagnosed on 1/3/06 via ultrasound that my 10.2 week old baby had no heartbeat. Baby measured 9 weeks. During this exam they also said I had a heart shaped uterus.  I had a D&C on 1/5.  How long will I have my pregnancy symptoms?  It is 4 days later and my breasts are still extremely tender.  Has anyone ever had surgery to correct a heart shaped uterus? if so, how long after did you get pregnant?  I am anxious to try again.. any advice would help.
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Avatar_f_tn
I had pg symptoms for at least 3 weeks post d&c. I got my first af 5.5 weeks after the d&c and dh and I started ttc right after first af. I have 5 days until I test. Good luck and know that you're not alone here.
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Avatar_n_tn
Sorry for your lost.  I just M/C also.  I was 8 weeks on Nov. 28th but, measu.5 weeks with no heart beat, Dec 7th I had my D&C.  I just got my period last night It took 5 1/2 weeks.  After my D&C, I only had prenancy feeling for a couple of weeks.  My doctor told me I had to wait 2 cycles until I could try again.

Good luck "Pagona"
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Avatar_n_tn
I had pg symptoms for about 2-3 weeks after my m/c.  I don't know of anyone who needed surgery for a heart-shaped uterus.  I have heard it can make conception slightly more difficult but don't know if it can be corrected.  My mother has a tipped uterus and was told she would have difficulties conceiving and such.  She never had any problems.  Hopefully your m/c was an unfortunate fluke and not related to the shape of your uterus.  Good luck!
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I read a lot online that the baby my have planted on the split of the uterus. This would have caused the placenta not to function normally and baby's heart to stop.  my baby looked great just 10 days earlier doing flips and had a nice heartbeat as of 12/23.  It was a shocker to hear that it died.  I go back for my post op on 2/4 and hopefully will get some answers then.  I just hope that next miracle will be on the way sooner rather than later.  All i know is that once we do conceive again the first 12 weeks will be TORTURE!!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
Good luck with ttc.  I'm hoping to try again in Feb/Mar.

Keep us update
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i know that Waterskigirl who is on here a lot also has a heart shaped uterus...Maybe you could watch for her and ask her a few questions...She's very knowledgable on the subject...Good Luck to you!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I too have a heart shaped uterus, bicornius I think they call it.  Mine doesn't look too bad on u/s but Wednesday I'm having a HSG test to make sure its not worse than what it looks.  HSG test is where they put dye inside your uterus to see the shape of it.
I've had a normal pregnancy and 2 m/c's both with the heart stopping.  1st m/c was due to Triploid (not my uterus) and the second I'm still waiting on the results.   My hormones were alot higher with the last pregnancy so it took like 3 wks for the symptoms to fade.  Last Monday, 4 wks after m/c I still had hormones in me.  It takes time.  After first m/c I waited 2 cycles before trying again.
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi,

I am very sorry for your loss.  You are probably correct that your baby implanted on the septum or the middle of the uterus.  Once your uterus shrinks back down, I wouldn't be surprised if your doctor orders an HSG.  Its where they insert dye into your uterus and can see how well the fallopian tubes work as well as just how far your uterus is heart shaped (Bicornuate).  If they don't suggest one, I would ask for a second opinion.

I didn't know I had a heart shaped uterus until I delivered my first child via c-section because he was breech.  Before starting on baby #2, I found a good OB/GYN and we did the HSG to see how severe my bi-coruate uterus was. Turns out it is almost completely split in two so I have a pretty severe form of it.

The good news is I am pregnant with #2, a girl, and scheduled for a c-section in 5 1/2 weeks.  Both my pregnancies have been uneventful with the exception I got my period on my unpregnant side at 12 weeks with this one.  So even with this condition, I have been very successful.  The fact that you got pregnant and carried to 10 weeks is a very good sign that you will get pregnant again! It does make you a high risk pregancy, but you CAN and WILL carry a baby full term!!!

I wish you well,

Carlye
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Avatar_n_tn
I had pregnancy symptoms 2-3 weeks after my m/c. The main problem I had was out of control emotions and depression. I tried to tough it out for weeks but gave in when I quit my job and had a major meltdown. My doctor told me that I am going through a p/p depression and put me on Wellbutrin XL last month. Im doing o.k on it but I hate being on any kind of meds so I am anxious to get off of it asap. My advice to you is... if you notice that you are having crying spells all day long and you are feeling depressed then talk to your doc. I waited entirely too long to get help. Im starting therapy this week due to my m/c. It is a daily struggle for me. I hope that you do not experience what I am going through. Good Luck to you!
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Has anyone Suggested a surgical correction to you??
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Avatar_n_tn
No, they sure haven't.  Probably because I carried to full term once already.  Me personally, I would give it another try before doing something drastic like surgery. The surgery itself will postpone your ability to have a baby with the recovery and all. Like I said, I have a complete BC uterus, it's almost completely split in two, and I am nearing the end of my second pregnancy.  Definitely talk it over with your doctor and get ALL the options.  By the way, from the research I have done on the web, every time you carry a baby to term with a BC, your chances of a successful pregnancy go up!

I wish you luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
hello,
sorry to hear about your loss.  i miscarried last month at 9 1/2 weeks, due date in July as well.  i had a d & c on dec. 16.  i didnt have many preg symptoms after the miscarriage.  actually they started going away a few days before i miscarried.  started to feel more energetic and less hungry.  i assume b/c the baby was no longer taking from me so i was losing symptoms.  afterwards, i was crying everyday for a week and teary for the week after.  although i am sad at times now i am overall more optimistic about the future and am feeling more like myself.
sorry but i dont know anything about heart shaped uterus'.

good luck to you.
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Funny.. i have crying spells every hour or so.. i can be fine and strong one minute and the next something makes me cry.  As my mom said, we are mourning the death of our babies.  Even though we all know we can go on to do it again, it is still this baby we wanted.  I had 10 weeks to love this child and want for him/her.  I had 10 weeks to plan what i would do during the heat of summer to cool off.  My baby's heart stopped beating, WHY?? i dont know.  10 day earlier it was perfect then all of a sudden it wasnt.  It is the worst feeling in the world to want something so bad then lose it.  Especially when it is a life.  It is hard to say, in less then 7 months i should be holding my pudge in my arms and now we think.. it will be at least 12 months.  To someone that doesnt sound like much but for me that feels like FOREVER.  plus, I dont know if there is something wrong with my uterus.  I cant go through another miscarriage.. this was hell.. pure hell.  All my dreams, feelings, wishes, belly rubs, gone. all gone.  all the smiles from family have turned into tears.  I know i will go on one day to have a healthy baby.. and it may be sooner then i think.. but for me, right now, i am in the worst pain i have ever been in my whole life.  I try to hold it back or to try and make myself feel better but it doesnt work.  I see the scab on my hand where the IV was and i cry.  I see the dr appointments written on my calender and i cry.  I think how i have to wait so many more months and tests before i try again and i get pissed off.  But this is all still fresh to me.. i hope i feel better soon.  I cant live like this.  I am sorry for anyone who has lossed.. it is true what they say.. you dont know until you've been where we've been. and it SUCKS!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I had a m/c and a d/c about 5 weeks ago. My levels just reached negative 3 days ago and felt pregnant until then. This weekend was hte first weekend 5 weeks later that I do not feel pregnant anymore. I still have not gotten my period yet, which is killing me. I thought I was pregnant again, but when they did the blood test it was showing negative HCG levels, you can start as soon as the doctor says it is ok which is normaly 1-2 cycles later. If you had a major surgery you might have to wait longer, ask how long the recovery time is for the uterus surgery you had.  Good luck. I felt fine after it was all done with and then about 2 weeks later I started getting really upset, whenever people asked me about it, or I saw women who were on welfare having 6 kids and hearing about people who beat their kids and I wondered why they were allowed to have kids and not me. But the thing that keeps me going is seeing my 2 1/2 year old son smiling at me and running around. Good luck and hopefully everything works out for you. But it will be tough.
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Avatar_n_tn
I too cried at your post because that is EXACTLY how I felt when I m/c Dec 2004. I was almost 21 weeks, just saw the doctor at the middle of my 18th week and found out at a routine u/s that the baby died at 18.4 weeks. (the feelings never go away but they do get lass painful) The only thing that I keep remembering is that I went to the docs on Wednes. and to my MIL on Fri. and at both times we heard his little heartbeat, and he must have died later on Friday or early Sat (according to the dates given).

This is the one of the hardest things that you will through and at times it will seem as though you still need to talk about it and others in your life will seem to get "sick of hearing about it", if this happens remmeber that we are all here and have gone through it.

As msQ said I too believe that everyhting happens for a reason, you will not be able to see it now but it may come to you. For me, I am very religous and have an older brother that turned 40 Dec 23, he and his wife (37) have been trying for a baby for 6 years and so have we (for 7 years). My philosophy is that in every family there is someone that can not have children, so I asked God that if it was between my brother and me to please give the baby to my DB. About the time that my baby died (due date was may9) my SIL found out she was pg (due date july 13), she had a heart attack when she was 30 and is on all types of meds. so they didn't know if the baby was O.K...he is perfect but mine died I actually had a D,E,and C done on Dec 23 2004..my DB birthday. My Dh wanted to try again and I was like you and could not even try to think about losing another one or taking the test just to get a GFN, but in March I told him it was up to him and told him how to get my fertile days and all was up to him.....we just had our first living son Duncan Dec 22,2005.... to the day that we found out about Tristen (our first one) and the day before his birthday Dec 23. It is bitter sweet but so hard. I know that I have PP depression somewhat but I keep thinking if Duncan is anything like Tristen would have been, if they look alike and all. But then I dry my eyes, literally, and I am the luckiest person because I was able to carry and get to know my first baby for 5 months and even though I never got to meet him I will always have him with me and I also got another son to have with me. If Tristen didn't go to heaven then I would have never been able to have Duncan.

Sorry this was so long and that I blubbered but just know that we all have been there too and will be here for you. Keep us posted Gog bless you and your family.
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Avatar_n_tn
First off so sorry for your loss.  I m.c in Oct, I was 6 wks along.  I got my AF 37 days after the m.c.  And we waited 2 AFs before we ttc again.  My symptons stayed with me right before AF showed.  So I had them for over 4 wks.  Again very sorry for you loss.
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Hey Gurl, Im sorry to hear that. You and I would have been due around the same time. Mines was 7/12/06. I didn't even get to make an appointment to go to the O.B clinic before I started to bleed. The hospital gave me the run around. My body still feels pregnant and I so badly want to believe that I am. The pregnantcy test are now coming up negative. The last positive one was 2 weeks ago. Gurl I know that you still want to believe that your baby is still there and so you ask questions, but miracles happen. It's painful because 7 months from now you'll be thinking like dang my baby would be due. All I can tell you now is to pray and search for the reasons to way your child wasn't expose to be hear. And hopefully one day you'll see you child in heaven.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm so sorry for your loss. I, like most of the women on this forum, have had a loss too. The first time I thought I would just die. I grieved so much for my baby. And it made it even worse when my clients would ask "how much longer" or say "you look so good, that baby's not going to weigh an ounce" . The second time around ,I was just sure all would be alright. Again, I started to spot. I was just simply in denial. I (for the sake of sanity)just had to believe the baby would survive. He/she did not. I had a long heart to heart w/God and told Him how mad that I was. I just could not at the time understand why He would give me a baby only to take it back. I have prayed much about this and I now think I understand a little more clearly. My heart still aches very much, and I will always love and miss my two babies. I still have dreams of having another child and I am in constant prayer over this matter of the heart. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're not alone in this. We are many. I just wish I'd had these wonderful ladies  during my m/c. I am so thankful to God to have had this opportunity. Hang in there. I will be praying for you as you go thru this.
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You are all very supportive and all of your comments no matter to whom they are addessed to really help me out a lot!  You all are so wonderful.  I am so glad I found this site, it's like a miracle waiting to happen, :)  
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I am so sorry to hear about your loss.  It is an extremely hard situation to deal with.  I know, because I had one in August.  I did not experience too many signs of pregnancy afterward; but I think mine were disappearing before my miscarriage.  I did not find out about mine until I was 12.5 weeks and the baby was around 9 weeks.  
My sister has a heart shaped uterus and just had a baby girl.  She had no problems this pregnancy---she had a funny shaped pelvic bone too.  She had a c-section but other than that--no problems.  Her first pregnancy she had placenta previa, and had a baby early, but still made it 35 weeks.  So try not to get too discouraged.  I hope you are able to get pregnant again as soon as you want.  I was able to get pregnant 3 months after my miscarriage and am now 15 weeks.  I hope for you nothing but success.
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Pagona is my Grandmother's name.  I'm Greek!  It really does not have a meaning.  If you don't mine me asking where do you live?  I'm in California.  If you just want someone to talk to via email.  Here is mine.  ***@**** or ***@****  I'm hoping to start ttc in March.
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I read you last post and it made me cry.  I know no matter what we type to help you feel better it won't.  I will tell you this much, as time goes by the pain will lessen.  When I m/c I was so up set because we so wanted to have another baby so bad and I couldn't understand why.  But the more I though about it everything happens for a reason.  Keep talking to people that have m/c to keep you going.  A baby will happen for you and when it does we will all be there for you as we are now.  Good luck  "Pagona"
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I am so so sorry .. i didnt mean to make you cry.. I know it will be ok.. i know.. but it is the UNTIL THEN that i am anxious for.  What does Pagona mean?????  Thank you by the way.. thank you to everyone who has posted.... This means a lot to me..
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Hi baby4Staci,
I just read your post and I too got teary eyed..  It so sad when you lose something you truly want in this world specially when it's a life..  I too had a m/c back in November 21st, I was two months pregnang and the baby measured 6.5 weeks.  When the doctor looked at me to give me the bad news before she said anything my heart started beating fast and all of a sudden I became hot inside and started crying.  They say they don't know what happened but assured me that m/c's happen everyday.  My husband and I were actually trying for so many years to get preggo and it never happened til the ends of Sept.  It is an awful experience that we have to go to when we loose a baby..  I also was planning ahead and making all these changes due to the baby and it's so sad when I look back and I think about it..
All I can say is that you will get better and just keep in mind that this is a brand new year and that we have so many months to look forward to, it will happen again soon!  :)  baby dust your way***************
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I had a knot in my stomach reading your post- just brought back all the feelings.  It has been just over 3 months since my D & C and already feels like forever ago.  I think b/c with the holidays in there, I cant believe it was only 3 weeks ago.  I was completely devestated.  I was with my daughter (2 years) at my check up when I found out I lost the baby.  I knew something was up when the dr. was looking much longer than he usually does.  I could tell on his face.  When he told me, I went completely blank.  I couldnt tell you what he told me next.  I was completely numb.  Devestation. shock.  a dream gone.  why?  over the next week, everything made me cry.  besides it being a devesting experience, remember you are coming off of pregnancy hormones which for me made me cry at the slightest think.  I had to cope so i went to a therapy session, started a gym membership(sounds silly but that has always been my outlet), and searched for people like yourself to find comfort.  needed to know i was not alone.  funny that i didnt reach out to family or friend.  thought they would be tired of hearing from me.  so yes, it still hurts but i am emotionally much stronger.  after the overwhelming emotions start going away, you will be able to put it in better prospective.  seeing how common it is. it wasnt you.  you can try again.  it doesnt bring me great comfort per say but i am better able to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now.  sooooo very different from 2 weeks ago where my world was very dark. just know, although there will always be this memory, time will heal.  it takes time.  take all the time you need to heal.  its alot to absorb.

i have you women to thank on this site.  its great how open and honest everyone is.  such a great support to each other.
thank you.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm 17.


I had sex with my girlfriend on 12/19/05.
Her periods are always on time, 28 days, starting on 12/02/05.
It was unprotective sex, but before you tell me about using some kind
of protection, I tried and she doesn't like it.
Now I know it's either sex with protection or no sex.


Right now her period is 1 week late (should have been 1/02/06) and I
asked her if she wanted to test for pregnancy but she refused, reason
being "What would happen if I was pregnant? How am I going to live with
that?"


My stupid life doesn't even stop here. She is Christian and her father
is a deacon. I'm already lucky enough to have sex with her! Abortion is
quite out of the question.
You guys might think I'm one of those immature teenagers, but trust me,
I'll be willing to accept the conseqeunces even if she wants to go
through with the baby (in case she is pregnant). After all, I love her.
It was just the heat of the moment that got me here.


But I'm living through hell right now. I know I had sex with her on one
of her more fertile times, but I did not ejactulate. The chances of
pregnancy is slimmer, right?
Everyday I see her at school I comfort her by saying it'll be okay when
I know it's clearly not.
Anyway, I came here for some advice on the situation and what might
this whole thing be.
She has shown no symptoms of pregnancy or any mood swings.
Could this be a miscarriage?
In case I convince her that having this baby will ruin our life and
change her mind about abortion, do any of you folks have any idea what
it's like? Just pop in a pill and it'll be fine? The price of it is
also quite expensive, nearly $450, something I can't pay within her
first trimester (if she is pregnant).
Well, that's my hell.
Thanks for reading.
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Avatar_f_tn
hello,
sorry for your situation.  before you put yourself through hell why dont she take a pregnancy test?  she has to to put you both at ease otherwise each day will fell longer than the one before.  your mind is running away from you and you dont even know for sure is she is pregnant.  i understand how scared you must be but get the facts first before you lose nights of sleep.  THEN you can start to make rational decisions.
If she is not pregnant, (I hate to say it) but you have learned a valuable lesson.  as you said, no protection, no sex.
as for an abortion, i have never had one.  depending on the situation, the woman and how long she is, the procedure is different.  it can be emotionally taxing on her and possibly haunt her later in life if she was not completely ready to abort.  its not as easy as taking a pill.  you must be thinking of the morning after pill but it is too late to take that.
good luck!
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You all have been completely wonderful...  It is kind of comforting to know that not only are there other people who have been through this, but are actually going through it right now, with me.  I dont remember who said it, but yes, i do feel like my friends/family are going to get sick of hearing about it.  This past sunday was my DH's 28th birthday.  We celebrated with my family and went out to dinner.  I Just sat there, quietly and thought to myself while everyone else was laughing and having a good time.  I know for a fact that they are all hurting for me and for themselves too ..  THis was going to be my parents first grandchild.  But it seemed to me like they forgot about it for the day and i think as the day went on that made it worse for me.  Right now i am waiting on answers.  When i had my u/s on 1/3 they most likey wrote up a report and i know that they printed several pictures.  I asked for one and they gave me one so at least i have that.  Well this morning i made up my mind that i am going to get a copy of my report.  I really do think that my heartshaped uterus had something to do with this loss.  Plus i was out of there so fast that i dont even know if i owe them a copay. haha.  Thank you all and Good luck to all you expecting mommies and BABY DUST to all in my shoes...  I know for a fact that i can get pregnant again and it will be very easy.  Good luck ladies, and Thank you from the bottom of my heart.. you havent heard the last of me yet!!
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i dont know how everyone else reacted but im like you baby4staci- i just didnt want to talk to friends or family about it.  im a talker.  i vent.  with this situation i needed to be alone.  very strange.  i didnt realize how isolating an experience it was either.
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Morgan it is a VERY isolating experience but that is why it is better to talk with others. After I had mine I talked with my mom who had a similar experience as my own and she is who really helped me through it. But I also work at a large hospital as a floater (I work on all floors of the hospital) so EVERYONE knew about the baby. At first when someone would ask how the baby was ECT. I would just walk away and pretend that I did not hear them, but after a while I started to talk with some of the other nurses and it is suprising how many other woman that you come in contact with everyday have gone through the same thing. This did take a few weeks to happen but it did help to talk and to be able to talk of my baby without the tears just that memories that I do have of him. Of course everyone is different but try not to isolate yourself to much because this is a very depressing and like you said isolating experience (even towards your partner). God bless you and hoping you all the baby dust.
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I was at my mother's house last night and i was talking to my mom about it.  She said something and was like.. I just dont want you to think about it any more.  I got mad and was like I am thinking about it and nothing you say will stop me so get over it.  This hurts.. hurts real bad and i want people to know it.  Before this happened to me when i would hear about someone miscarrying i would always feel sad for them.  But now that i have been through it myself it is a whole new story for me.  people dont react to things the same way.  This is the most terrible thing that i have EVER been through.  I have never felt this much pain in my heart before.  Thankfully i can vent here where people understand, and i have new people ask me about my situation every day.  I am surrounded by wonderful friends and medical staff.  It feels so good to talk about it and let people know.  Today i was in the car thinking (bad idea) and thought When i found out i was pregnant i was happy, scared, nervous, etc.  I said This is the first day of the rest of my life.. Little did i know it can all be taken away.  I am back where i was before i got pregnant and now i have the heartache to go with it.
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I think that is was is also so devestating is that you are on cloud 9 when you are pregnant.  so happy, dreaming of your baby, etc.  then as quick as you found out you were pregnant, you find out you miscarried.  you are on your highest high and plummet to your lowest low.  very difficult to deal.  

i was feeling better but yesterday got AF and although we didnt try last month (drs orders -ha)we didnt prevent either (miscarried mid Dec).  anyhows its really a roller coaster.  most days i am very strong and optimistic but today is not one of those days.

thanks for being there.
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Morgan
i am exactly that way today too.. i can start of the day great but i think all this stress has finally caught up to me.  We found out about baby's death on 1/3 which was 1 week and 1 day ago.  I am 1 week post D&C tomorrow.. I feel so shitty.. i am nauseas shakey (shaky) and exausted today.. I hope this doesnt screw up my af.  I want to start growing my miracle again asap.  On 1/3 we went in for a routine u/s to check baby size.  We thought we were going in there to say HI to our little one and walk out with some cool pictures to show people and then bam.. our lives were distroyed.. We will be ttc again in april or whenever i get the ok from the specialists and obgyn.  I have to have my heartshaped uterus investigated and diagnosed so that i can have proper prenatal care for this condition.. Lucky for me this means lots of ultrasounds next time around :-D
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Yes, I hear your pain.  Not good in any way it comes but when you think all is ok, it just really sucks.  I had my 2 year old daughter with me the day I found out I miscarried.  I was trying to involve her in the process by bringing her to the visits to see the "baby on the computer."  She loved it!!!!  To my suprise, during a sonogram, the dr. couldnt see the hearbeat.  That was it.  My daughter didnt know what was going on.  I felt so bad sobbing in front of her.  What a disaster.  One day I will tell her what happened- years from now.  But for now she knows Mommy was sad.
Keep me updated!  I hope all goes well wtih you.  Things will continue to get easier emotionally.  Only time will heal.
Take care.
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I discovered I was pregnant (from a home pregnancy test) a few weeks after separating from my partner (Conception was approx 17/18th Nov). I told him about my news and went to my GP to have have a blood test confirming I was indeed pregnant. As we weren't together at this point (and he had moved on with another girl) he did not attend the appointment with me.
Dr had also previously advised that my body did not produce or absorb folate or B12 - so I had regular intravenous vitamin injections... and I had a high white blood cell count for the past few months indicating I was still battling some sort of infection.
I had my doubts on raising this baby alone as a single mother... for one I still loved my ex, and I needed him out of my life for me to get over him.. and 2 I didnt want to raise my baby alone. And although I had since changed my mind termination was considered.
Not long after he advised that he wanted me back because he still loved me.. I had my doubts about taking him back as I thought it was only so I kept the baby - and I didnt want him to return for the wrong reasons... despite the hurt he caused me I wanted him to be happy.
So we got back together and I started to get used to the idea and excited about our impending arrival with baby names, and looking at baby clothes and items being scary but fun.
I experienced heavy bleeding and pain on the 31st Dec.. I rushed to the hospital which was 5 minutes down the road and went straight in where an u/sound revealed baby was still OK, I was 8&1/2weeks, and cervix still closed.. Treating Dr advised threaten miscarriage. I panicked on my way to hospital and requested the hospital staff contact my partner to meet me there.. but they advised they were unable to reach him... partner claims he never got the call.. either way I was there alone. During the week after I was experiencing cramping pain and on and off bleeding... but was reluctant to go back to the hospital as they advised they could do nothing for me if I was miscarrying the best thing I could do was take paracetamol!!!
After experiencing heavy bleeding and clots the following Saturday I went to see my GP again who advise my cervix was dialated indicating miscarriage... pregnancy test still positive (but as no pathologists open on Sat - to come back Monday)... ON my way to work Monday  I did a pregnancy test and it showed negative - I panicked and went to Dr as planned who took tissue samples of the blood I was passing and advised I had miscarried but wasnt requiring D&C as it was a complete miscarriage. I was devstated.
I told my partner - and the following day he accused me of making the whole pregnancy up and wanted to go to the GP to confirm my results.
I have no problem with this - but I am going through hell dealing with the loss of the baby I had grown to want - let alone my partner telling me he thinks the whole thing was a lie.
I will take him - so he can get his answer.. I have nothing to hide and that part doesnt bother me... but the fact that he thinks I would lie about everything... is just devastating.
He had contacted a family planning clinic who advised him that it could take up to 3 months to test negative to a pregnancy test - when I tested within a week or so of commencing bleeding.
So therefore he thinks it doesnt add up and Im lying.
This was my first known pregnancy (had also had another miscarriage to my partner in July - D&C was required - but I was unaware I was pregnant as I was on the pill)... and the Dr advised when the initial test was done I had a low HCG Reading... can anyone tell me why I might have dropped HCG levels so quick?? I had a girlfried who had a miscarriage and showed negative the next day?
Now my partner wont answer my calls or messages and Im left to grieve on my own, and he doesnt even have the result from the Dr... I've just been written off.
He promised me he come back because he loved me... not just for the baby... but it appears he will leave me now.. Proof or no proof that I was carrying his baby.
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I just recently wenr to the doctor and found out that I am in total shock, I am trying to cope with this lost but dont know how
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How far along were you china... I am in shock too. But the shock of my boyfriend telling me he thought I made this whole thing up is just terrible. I cant even grieve properly til I prove to him I was indeed pregnant.
Im so sorry for your loss... It leaves a big hole in your heart.
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Thanks for your reply Manda, I actually thought I was going mad and I should still be testing positive after what he told me so I went and bought another pregnancy test last night ... but of course the result was still negative.

I had a bad feeling even just before I started bleeding... and I seemed to know that I was miscarrying as well.

Maybe your right about him, but I dont know he is such a sweet guy and I love him to death. He had a lot of time for me once... and I hoped we could get that back.
But I dont want to be a go to girl... that can only mean more pain.

Maybe he did come back for the baby.. Id like to think he had come back for me.. but I would have done anything to give him that child. Although whose to say he wouldnt have left when the initial excitement of the newborn wore off.. I can only guess.
I thought this year was going to be so great with us being together and about to become a family... but Ive lost two things so close to my heart already. And I cant bear that pain.
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I am very sorry for your loss.  It is hard to deal with.  And to make matters worse, you have no one to lean on in this tramatic time.  I will keep you in my prayers.

I had a m/c last year.  I started bleeding and cramping lightly and went to the ER.  They said everything looked fine and my cervix was closed.  I too was diagnosed with a threatened abortion (miscarriage).  

I went to see my OB the next day for a follow up since I was still spotting.  I was told basically the same thing and that if if got heavier to call and let them know.  I spotted for another day or two, and then it got real heavy.  I already knew what was wrong.  I knew I was miscarrying.  

The doctor monitered my levels every other day for not quite a week, and then they were back at 0.

Many people take longer for their levels to drop.  It just depends.  Everyone's body is different.    

This guy does not deserve your love.  You can do better.  Anyone that truly loves you would stand by you and believe you.  

I had a fiance' that was a lot like this guy.  I thought I loved him, and that he loved me.  We were together for 4 years.  Even after we broke up, I did everything I could to keep him close to me.  It took me a while to realize that I had become his go to person when he was between relationships.  I just could not comprehend it.  

It took me a long time to get it through my head.  I had such strong feelings for him.  

I finally wised up and decided I had to move on.  I couldn't let him string me on any longer.  

I met my husband not long after.  He is the total opposite of what my ex was.  My husband is the greatest man you will ever meet.  He is loving, romantic, kind, considerate, comforting, a wonderful father and an amazing husband.  

I never would have found him if I had not let go of my ex.  It was really hard for me to do.  However, this situation should make you realize what a jerk he really is.  You seem like a really nice lady.  You can do better.  You deserve better.  

Use this as a time to make a clean break from him.  

Once again, I am sorry for your loss.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care,

Amanda  

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Here is a poem that may reflect how every woman feels on the loss of her child...

An empty space where life once stirred
My eyes were not yet seeing
Where once my heartbeat shared a tone
with a small and fragile being

So scarcely formed yet still a life
A dream, a hope, a promise
Our plans were changed to now include
This new life thrust upon us

Then just as quickly as it came
Our dreams were gone away
The deepest pain I've ever felt
Our baby died today

With footprints left upon our hearts
He gently took his leave
We're left with nothing but regret
And only time to grieve

There is no service to be held
No mourning time required
No songs of longing and despair
No words to be inspired

We're simply told to bare the pain
"It's nature's way" they say
I can't forget our baby grew
inside me yesterday

And with each word of sorrow
my teardrops fall like rain
The anger and resentment
are mixed with guilt and pain

I look to heaven for a sign
to help search out a course
Where love can teach acceptance
and eliminate remorse

My body will accept the truth
that now our baby's gone
But in my heart our Angel
everlastingly lives on!
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hey i had a miscarriage and had to have a D/C. its been 5 weeks and 3 days and i stil havent had my period..i have had pregnancy symptoms! i am bloated,constipated,cant sleep,dizzy/sick,day dreaming,crying,white squishy discharge..etc. i had a pregnancy test done at the doctors and it tested negative..i dont know what wrong or if anything is wrong..:(
can anyone help me out!?
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