Holding Infants

Ok, my mother and everyone is telling me that I am holding my little Ryan to much.  He is only three weeks old - today.  Time is going by so quickly.  He sleeps a lot and wakes during that day and stays awake maybe about two hours at a time.  He eats - a lot too.  I hold him while he is awake and hold him tell he sleeps.  I put him in the swing and his bouncey but he doesn't like to stay in them long.  It's ok to hold them this much right?  I don't see nothing wrong with it.  I hate to hear him cry, so I pick him up if he cries.  

[jenstam]

I don't think their is anything wrong with holding your new little baby as much as you want! Of course, he may be a little stinker when you put him down though! I held my babies a lot and plan on doing the same with this one as soon as he is born! They are only little and able to fit so nicely in your arms for a short time. Cherish it. Tell everyone else to mind their own business. People become so judgemental and opinionated when women are pregnant or have babies!!

[neparker]

I held mine all the time, now that she's 5 weeks old though, I find myself needing to put her down.  

My mom thinks I spoiled her because I held her all the time (she fusses for a while when I put her down, but eventually calms down).  

I don't believe babies can be spoiled when they are that young, so I disagree with my mom, and yours.  Especially when they are that young, they need that closeness.

Either way, you can do what you want.  I spoil all my kids, all 3 of them, thats including my 7 year old, 4 year old and 5 week old.  They all are very lovely and I think it's because they were held close all the time, and still are!

[aimntrev]

I don't think you are holding your baby to much. although I'm not due for another 12 weeks I think I will be holding my baby all the time too. I have read and my doctor told me you can't spoil a baby. Especially a baby under 6 months.

[markysmom]

I held my son about 8 hours a day (off and on) until I went back to work. It could have been "too much" but it felt fine to me.
He is 3 1/2 now and I definitely think he benefited from it.  

I dont think you can really hold a baby too much. They and you need the closeness and bonding.

[amberd5191]

Hold him all you can, when he is older he wont want you to. :)

[kris123]

Thanks so much.  You guys are great.  Helping me out from my breastfeeding nightmare, formula feeding, to this - I really love you guys.  Don't know what I would do with out this site.  There is so much good on here.  

[jd1419]

When my guys were little I even used to fall asleep with them on my chest on the couch--I really didn't want to put them down--they are cuddlers at night still but hey I am guessing in a few years they won't want too much to do with mom...When they get older you will want to remember that special baby smell they had--so hold and even sniff them all you want.  Babies are used to being held by their moms--thats what makes us so special.

[lauraandbill2001]

When babies are that young, they can't be spoiled.  All they are looking for is the closeness and holding them satisifies this.  Mr dd is now 12 weeks old.  I held her whenever she wanted ar that age.  Now that she is a little older and aware of her surroundings, I will put her down and allow her to fuss a bit.  It seems as if she is fussing now for attention.  The trick is trying to find out when the holding changes from nurturing to spoiling.  I did not find it with my 1st and he wanted held all the time.

[Liza55]

What a bizarre comment to me...tell your mom to get educated. It is the most natural thing in the world to hold your infant as much as you want and can (way beyond 3 weeks! ) What isn't natural is expect a newborn to be comforted by our expectations..ex. crib. Please don't let her influence any of your parenting styles or decisions...trust you are doing a fabulous job for your baby.

[ShamansMommy]

google attatchment parenting, and let your mom read THAT!! My dd is the same age. I have a "you r spoiling her" mom AND grandma, but I am changing their views,slowly but surely! They still think I am a lil crazy, but I just tell them they had their turn! Good luck, and love on that baby as much as u can =)

[myproblem]

I held both my baby girls a lot. Neither is afraid of being put down, or spoiled. Both are happy to be held by others, or play alone. You can hold a baby too much, but for that you would have to hold him all the time, even during sleep. Babies need the phsical reassurance that you are near.

[AndiJ78]

I am a firm believer that yuou absolutely CANNOT spoil a baby. I absolutely hate that line of thinking. When a baby wants to be held, you hold them. Plain and simple. I am on baby #3 and I have done nothing different and my kids are very secure and independent. They are not spoiled or afraid of the world, they are loving, well-adjusted kids and i held every single one of them as much as they wanted, when they wanted, day or night. Just wait until your little one hits the seperation anxiety/stranger anxiety stage. I am sure you family will go ballistic with the "You're spoiling the baby" routine. During that time they really need to know they can depend on you to be there for them. My 8 month old has started with that, he really notices when I leave the room and he calls for me. He sees me and is fine. But this is a very important developmental step for them. They are learning that when something leaves it can return.

I have never understood why on earth people would have babies to ignore their cries?

[anxiousmomtobe?]

I heart Andy, I echo everything she said.

I have a 16 year old dd, no more holding her, hold 'em all you can, they need you to.  It makes them smarter and healthier.  Ignore Grandma, her thinking is old school.

[fitzy11]

i don't understand how you could NOT hold your tiny, precious, newborn baby as much as you want. my mil told me the same thing (not in a mean way, but it doesn't matter, she still said it.) my ds is 10 mos old and much too busy now to snuggle with me like he used to and i already miss it so much. hold your baby as much as you want!!!