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My son is 5 and puts his hands down his pants alot
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My son is 5 and puts his hands down his pants alot

My 5 year old son is in pre school, and recently his teacher has told me several times that my son "keeps putting his hands down his pants and playing with his private parts". Now, I am completely aware that he does that and have spoken to him numerous times about what is appropriate in public and what isn't. I told him scratching, exploring his body etc. is fine but is to be done privately. Most of the time he does it unconciously and if I say "take your hands out of your pants" he does. On occasion he tells me that his pee-pee "goes up" and its bugging him so he is trying to push it back down. I think this is normal 5 yr old boy behavior. His pre-k teacher sent a note home about his progress (which is all good, socially and acedemically) asking if she could see me at my earliest convienance. When I spoke to her this morning, it was again about him having his hands down his pants. She said he is doing it during nap time sometimes and to quote her "there are little girls around"......Just to be clear he is not takin his penis out of his pants or in any way involving other kids, he's just, well diddling. lol. for lack of a better term. My feeling is that she is over reacting and that this is normal behavior for a 5 yr old boy. I say when we see him w/ his hands in his pants, tell him to stop, make him go wash his hands and move on. The teacher keeps bringing this up to me as if its abnormal and i should have some magical trick to get him to stop. Any thoughts?
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8 Comments Post a Comment
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93532_tn?1349374050
It is very normal and it is tough to get kids to understand the right time and place for that. Men really do seem to do it without even thinking about it. From my 31 year old husband to my 18 month old son and the two in between, I can look around my house and see at least on of them mindlessly "checking to make sure it is still there" as I put it at any given point of the day.

Last night I went in Bub's room to put some cream on an adhesive reaction spot and sure enough...he was fast asleep with both hands in his waistband.

Kid know if it feels good they should do it, that is likely what he has figured out.

My only other suggestion to make this less of an issue at school would be to put a belt on him to make access to it harder?
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Avatar_f_tn
The belt might be a good idea, thanks. Mainly i just wanted to make sure my gut was right on this and that it was completely normal. His pre-k teacher seems a little nit-picky to me anyway. I mean I got a note home last week because he coughed with out covering his mouth at lunchtime and she had to get the child sitting next to him a new plate of food.I understand he needs to cover his mouth and i can tell him til i am blue in  the face but he's 5. Show me a 5 yr old that covers his mouth everytime he coughs and i'll buy the secret potion that makes that happen. Thanks again
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210400_tn?1325384170
My 4 year old does the same thing...
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93532_tn?1349374050
Wow, that is a bit much. How many adults forget to do that?
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159354_tn?1286371288
I just find this kind of funny that she is addressing this so much....HELLO - he's a kid.  They all do it.  Why is she making such a big deal out of it.  Most of the time they don't even know that they are doing it.

My DD just started it recently....she'll be 4 in August....Now for me it's different because for a little girl, she can harm herself.  And has.  Her hands are dirty or what not and playing down there.  She has gotten really red and she complains that it hurts sometimes.

Of course it doesn't help that her teachers don't help her wipe...and sometimes after #2 it goes the wrong way when wiping...but that's another issue.

About the coughing thing?  WOW - she's a little bit over the top.  Meanwhile...most kids that age in preschool have a constant runny nose.
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Avatar_f_tn
THANKYOU. I agree and feel much better that i'm not just being defensive. I am going to talk to his teacher today about my expectations for his behavior and see if we can meet in the middle somewhere. I know my son is feeling picked on a little bit so i want to her to be aware that this "little stuff" is affecting his attitude about school. Thanks again, I just happened upon this forum and will definetly be back!
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a 19 months old daughter who started putting her hands in her diaper.  I don't think she's trying to play with her privates rather than trying to take the diaper off (it looks like she's pulling the diaper down).  My niece (who'll be 3 in august) plays with her stuff too and as much as my sister's annoyed, it's a normal stage they go through.  
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213739_tn?1215489609
This is a very normal part of development, especially for boys!  Does it ever stop once it starts!!! :)  I wouldn't worry about it at all and I'm sure it will stop.  I would try to ignore it as much as possible as the more you say something, the more he'll think about it.  I remember my friend calling me when her son was 4-5 years old telling me she would catch him humping the floor in his bedroom and she was freaking out.  I told her to ignore it, as hard as it was, she did and within a couple of months it stopped. He is now almost 7 and hasn't done it since.  Just ignore, it's a normal developmental phase.
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